From raquelm@urjwc.ucla.edu Thu Apr 17 20:00:58 1997 Subject: EP> VRA - Hell Is Might Have Been (1/1) From: Raquel Montoya -------- Title: Hell Is Might Have Been (1/1) Author: E.J. "NuitCoeur" Pound E-mail: AmieDeNuit@aol.com, NuitCoeur@aol.com Distribution Statement: Distribute freely, as long as my name stays attached Spoiler Warning: No spoilers. You have been warned ;-) Rating: PG Content Warning: MSR- May need a tissue. Classification: VRA Summary: Death leads to an understanding of truth of eternal torment. Keywords: Death, MSR, Mulderangst Repost: This is being posted to the x-files-fanfic list also. Disclaimer: Oh, please don't mind me 1013, Fox & CC I know I don't own 'em But if you could loan 'em I'll have my fun An' put 'em back when I'm done! OK, I'm rather nervous; I've written very little fanfic, and this is my first MSR. So, I shall shamelessly beg for feedback....pleasepleaseplease send feedback !! Hell Is Might Have Been by E.J. "NuitCoeur" Pound Hell is might have been. Death, hell, pain, sorrow....they seem to be so intermingled now that I'm not sure I can tell where one begins and another ends. It shouldn't be like this. There shouldn't be this pain. There shouldn't have been a death. Hell is shouldn't have been. If I had another chance, I'd tell her. The truths I'd hidden, the words hinted at but never spoken. I would have told her how I feel. How beautiful she was, how her hair was a halo of flame and her eyes twin seas I wished to lose myself in.... I would have told her how grateful I was to her. How much her support, her loyalty, and, most of all, her *trust* meant to me. I would of told her how I needed her, how I was lost without her. How she was the best thing that had ever happened to me. I would have told her the secrets of my heart. How I dreamt of her. How I searched for some substitution and never found one. I would have told her how much I loved her. Hell is would have. It shouldn't be this way. Poor Mrs. Scully shouldn't be weeping her eyes out. The Lone Gunmen shouldn't be sadly silent. Frohike shouldn't be drunk to escape sorrow. AD Skinner shouldn't be standing rigidly, solemn and silent, trying to hold others up. And Scully, dear Scully..... Hell is might have been. It might have been a joyous day. Perhaps if I'd told her, and she'd felt the same way, today could've been a wedding instead of a funeral. It might have been tears of gladness wept instead of mourning tears. It might have been a throng dressed in bright wedding colours instead of melancholy black. It might have been Dana Scully dressed in a wedding gown, instead of the black dress she now wears... Hell is might have been. Instead, from the not-so-distant place of souls still tied to the earth, I watch Scully, my brave, beautiful, so-strong Scully, fall apart with grief in her mothers arms, when it might have been my arms she feel into as we finished our vows... But suddenly light surrounds me, and I see no more.... *** Groggily, I open my eyes to find myself in a hospital. There is an IV attached to my wrist and it is annoyingly difficult to get a deep breath. Aside from that, and a dull ache throbbing through my body, I seem to be fine. Pretty good for a guy who thought he'd died. I look up to see her looking out the window. Her face is turned so that she does not see that I'm awake, but in such a way that I can see the tears trickling down her face. No. No more tears for me, Scully. I've seen enough. I've learned enough. It's time you know the truth... "Scully? Hey, Scully, you're eyes seem to have sprung a leak." "Mulder?!" she sounds as if she had received the death sentence, and I had just pardoned her. "You're awake! Thank God! We were afraid you'd never wake up..." She rushes to the bedside, crying and smiling at the same time. I awkwardly embrace her, "Shh, Scully, I'm fine now." Better than fine. Because now I can escape Hell. I'll tell her all the things I want so desperately to let out. And now, I can have a chance. *We* can have a chance. "Scully, there's something I need to talk to you about..." Heaven is 'it can be.' ~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~ Thanks for reading. *Please* tell me what you think- reply to AmieDeNuit@aol.com ~EJ *'Shipper*Fanficaholic #17*Member Extreme Possiblities* *Founder, D.T.R. Society*X-Centric X-Phile* ~The X-Centric X-Philes Page: www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/5138 ~The D.T.R. (Death to Ratboy) page: www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Hills/2441 The D.T.R Motto- To Eviscerate, Asphyxiate, and Eliminate Ratboy!