From: miranda119@juno.com (M K P)
Date: Tue, 21 Apr 1998 00:57:06 -0400
Subject: Her Choice  by Miranda

Title - Her Choice
Author - Miranda
E-mail - miranda119@juno.com
Rating - PG
Category - VA
Spoilers - Mind's Eye
Keywords - None
Summary - Mulder compares Marty Glenn with a couple other women
in his life.
Disclaimer - These characters belong to Chris Carter and not me.  

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The Christians, tortured and slaughtered in Rome for their faith.  
The Jews, massacred in the Holocaust for nothing more than the fact 
that they were not German.  The African American men, women and
children who were forced to sacrifice their freedom, their respect, and 
even their life for the color of their skin.

Why is this mortal life so void of justice? 

Innocents.  Given grief, pain, and death on the basis of something they 
cannot control...forced to suffer for the evil plans and intents of
others.  Life
they did not wish to give up.  Honor they did not ask to have
disregarded.  
Pain they did not request to endure.

What can cause a man to regard himself so powerful, so important that he
can control the life, the pursuits of those which do not belong to him.? 
To 
rip away the sanctity of their existence on nothing more than his own
basic
arrogance?

I watch this woman.  Marty.  She is so full of pain. So burdened with
regret 
and sorrow and guilt at the unimaginable deeds of her father.  Deeds she
is 
forced to behold, forced to experience as she were him.  

It is ironic, I muse as I watch her through the cell bars.  She has never
seen
the sunrise, never seen a flower or a child or a bride or a mountain
peak.  She 
has never seen anything with her own eyes.  Yet she has seen everything 
through the eyes of a murderer.

Yes, she was unpleasant.  She was sarcastic, and rude, and stubborn.  
But she only clings to these attributes to hide her fear, her sadness, 
her loneliness and her dreams that she dare not dream.  For she is a 
blind daughter of a murderer.  And in the end, she is here, in this
prison 
cell, forced to resign to this because life gave her no choice.  

She had no choice.

I look at her, so pathetic, for once not knowing I am there.  Tears slide
down 
her cheeks, quiet sobs are stifled in her throat.  I long to hold her.  I
long to
take away the pain of this young woman, to make her whole, to make her
free and happy.  But my hands are tied.

I know this feeling well.  It is the same for Samantha.  The Samantha I
knew.  
The eight year old little girl that frantically woke me in the loft, and
with 
tears in her eyes, told me she was scared.  Because Mom was downstairs
screaming something about her baby.  Her baby girl.  

I did all I could as a twelve year old brother to protect her.  But it
was 
impossible for me to do so.  Again, my hands were tied.  And  my sister 
was taken away from her life, all she knew, all she trusted in, without
regard for her voice, for what she might have chose.

She had no choice.

And  it is the same for Scully.  She was taken from me, she was hurt and
abused, stolen from, and returned to suffer numberless amounts of 
difficulty and pain.  How she has born all the sorrow, I will never know.


I know she still fights it.  I think she distanced herself from Marty
because
she saw herself in the woman's blind eyes.  She saw her own loss.  And
still
she is trying to be strong, trying to be brave and heroic.  And how I
love her
for it.  And how I wish I could hold her and make her completely healthy,

completely free of the fear that terrorizes her, that tells her that she
must
stay at a distance, that warns her that she must not take the risk to
love 
anyone, because it will hurt too much in the end.  

Her ease, her safety, her ability to have children have been snatched
from her
hands.  Her life has been threatened, her sister, and the only daughter
she will
ever know, have been sacrificed.  All without her consent, without her
approval, without her permission.

She had no choice.

And I have no choice, but to try to save that which I cannot save.  Those
whom will continue to suffer even as I so stubbornly search for the
answers.
She who has given up everything to be by my side, who has suffered for my
cause, for my injustice, and has never complained, never held a regret or
a 
grudge, never repaid me with anything but love.

For that was her choice.