SPOILERS: Um, fifth season (I guess) RATING: PG-14 (drinking, language) KEY WORDS: MSR, kinda of a song story, but not really. SUMMARY: Mulder and Scully celebrate their Anniversary and secrets are unlocked. DISCLAIMER: Mulder and Scully do not belong to me. They are being used without permission. They belong to CC, 1013, and FOX. No copyright infringement is intended and no money will be made from this. Please don't sue me, I'm just a poor struggling college student who owes God knows how much money because of student loans. "American Girl" by Tom Petty is also used with- out my permission. The character of Jim belongs to little 'ol me please don't use him without my permission. AUTHOR'S NOTE: I know this story has absolutely *no* possibility of coming true, but I had to indulge myself. Especially the way the season is going so far with Scully being -- I guess distant is the word I'm looking for. This is my own little way of rebelling :) FEEDBACK: Please! I'll respond to each and every one! Good, Bad, Anything! I'm still new to this so any type of feedback is welcome! Send feedback to conchita912@yahoo.com POST: Please post to gossamer and anywhere else. Just let me know where it went. Thanks! X x X x X x X x X x X Friday, March 8, 1998 Dana Scully's Apartment 7:46 pm Fox Mulder stood outside of Dana Scully's apartment. The voice of Tom Petty was filling the short hallway. He knocked again for what seemed to be the hundredth time waiting for some type of response. He quickly glanced down at what he was wearing: black turtleneck, black jeans, black boots. Once more he knocked. He knew she was in there. He got tired of waiting and pulled out his keys. He opened the door and the music exploded in his eardrums. "God, Scully, loud enough for ya?" he murmured. "Scully?!" He shouted her name, but there was no response. "Hey, Scully!?!?" Still no one answered. He walked over to the CD player. Tom Petty started to sing 'Free Fallin'. Mulder picked up the familiar case and gave it a once over. "Scully, you little klepto," he murmured to himself. He lowered the volume and he heard the water running from the bathroom. It stopped and a few seconds later, the door flew open. And there standing in her terry cotton robe, stood Dana Scully. Her eyes wide and as blue as her robe. Not to mention the gun pointed in Mulder's direction. "What the hell, Mulder! You scared the shit out of me!" she screamed, lowering her gun. All he could do was grin from ear to ear. "Wipe that smirk off your face you goon," she smiled. "Oooh!" He put a hand over his heart. "That hurts Scully. Name calling is not a pretty sight on you." She had to laugh. She walked into her bedroom and shut the door. "You're early!" she shouted from behind the door. "You're late!" he shouted back. "I am not!!" He laughed. "Whatever!" He turned his attention back to Scully's CD collection. So many familiar titles caught his eyes. "Scully have you ever talked to anyone about this kleptomaniac problem of yours?" "What?!" He walked over towards the door. "So what else of mine have you stolen?" "Mulder, give me a minute so I can understand your mumbling." She opened the door a few minutes later. She had on a pair of jeans and a white v-neck shirt. "What in the world are you talking about, Mulder?" He looked her over before answering. "This." he handed her the Tom Petty CD. "I couldn't help but notice it. Considering the fact that mine's been missing for a while. *And* there's a couple more --" She cut him off. "Mulder, you're being paranoid. I didn't take any of your CDs-- those are all mine." She brushed past him and went back into the bathroom. He raised his eyebrows. "Since when do you listen to this kind of music." "Since always." He rolled his eyes at her behind her back. "I saw that!" she called from the bathroom. He chuckled. "So, have you decided what you want to do tonight." She walked back out brushing her damp hair. "Um-- actually. I have." He tilted his head to the side waiting for an answer. A few seconds passed. "Well?!" She smiled shyly. "Mulder, when was the last time you got trashed?" Mulder shook his head. He walked past her and looked into the bedroom and then into the bathroom. He walked back to her, grabbed her by the shoulders and looked her in the eyes. "Ok, who are you and what have you done to Dana Scully." She frowned at him. "You're kidding. *Right*?" he asked with a slight crack in his voice. "No. I'm not. Come on, Mulder. It's a Friday night. We aren't dealing with any cases right now and it's been quiet. Why not? We deserve a break. Besides it's a special occasion. It's our six year anniversary. We should have been doing this every year." "We weren't even supposed to last a year together," he mused. "Much less two . . or three . . or four . . or five," he finished quietly. "What do you say, Mulder? Please?" She sounded like a little kid asking for a pony. "Ok, Scully. But I'm warning you. Don't come crying to me tomorrow about a hangover." "I don't get hangovers. I'm a doctor. I know secret doctor things." She gave him a big smile. "You're not going to regret this." She walked back into the bathroom. "Give me a couple minutes, Mulder. I didn't expect you to be on time." "Don't worry about it Scully. I'll just listen to a couple of *my* CDs." "They're not yours! And don't take out Tom. I'm not through with him yet." She walked back out into the living room and selected track 1. " 'American Girl' - This is my favorite song," she told him. "Whenever I hear this song I feel like dancing." She gave Mulder a wide-eyed look. He quickly shook his head. "Oh, no, Scully. Going out and getting trashed is one thing, but I am *not* going dancing." "What's wrong, Mulder? Can't dance?" she teased. "Listen, missy. It just so happens I'm a great dancer." "Prove it." she pressed play and walked away starting to hum to the music. "I am such a sucker," he mumbled under his breath. "Yes, you are!" she called. He laughed and took a listen to the words. In all reality, this was one of Mulder's favorite songs too. Tom Petty's voice started to fill the air. Well, she was an American girl Raised on promises She couldn't help thinkin' That there was a little more to life somewhere else. After all it was a great big world With lots of places to run to And if she had to die tryin' She had one little promise she was gonna keep... He understood why Scully loved this song. It sounded just like her. He walked to the bathroom and leaned against the doorframe. "Scully, was this sort of *your* song when you were growing up?" She stopped playing with her hair and looked at him in the mirror. "Yeah," she said softly. "How'd you know?" He stared at her for a few seconds before answering. "I just knew," he said. "It still kind of fits," she mumbled. He looked at her to further explain herself, but when it looked like she wasn't going to elaborate, he walked back into the living room. "Just give me ten more minutes, Mulder," she called after him. "Take your time, Scully," he said as he plopped down on the sofa. "We have all night." X x X x X x X x X x X 'Third Street Saloon' 9:12 pm "Here's to us!" Scully clanked the shot glass with Mulder before pouring it down her throat. That had been her fourth shot and it looked like she had no intention of stopping. She could hold her own, that was for sure. Mulder's eyes twinkled looking at his buzzed partner. "What?" she asked a big grin plastered on her face. "You have the perma-grin, Scully. I don't think I've ever seen anyone smile so much before." "Look who's talking," she teased. "Scully, you'll be out *way* before I am." "Wanna bet?" He raised his eyebrows. A slight darkness engulfed his eyes. "What are you willing to stake, Agent Scully?" She stopped smiling. "Don't play mind games with me, Mulder. Not tonight." Scully got up before he could answer her. "What the hell--" he muttered. Mulder watched her as she walked to the bar and ordered more drinks. He took a look around the small bar. It was fairly light traffic, especially for a Friday night, but he liked it this way. This was his favorite spot when he felt like a beer. It was a small place, dark and moody. They had good food, good people, and good music. Three great traits to have in a bar. Scully came back a minute later with two more shots. One of Jack Daniels and the other of Jose Cuervo. She set the drinks down and sat across from Mulder in the booth they occupied. "I can drink you under the table any day, Agent Mulder," she smiled. He leaned forward across the table. "Can not." She mimicked his actions. "Can too." "We'll see," he whispered. "Mulder you're just as buzzed as I am, if not more," she mused. "You'll be gone after this last shot." "Keep dreaming, Scully." He picked up his tequila and savored the smell. He looked over the glass as Scully wrinkled her nose at him. "How can you drink that crap?" she asked a bit disgusted. "Please, Scully. I'm surprised you're still standing after all that whiskey you sucked up! And this--," he raised his glass, "Is a hundred times better than *that*." She rolled her eyes at him and lifted her glass. "What should we drink to now?" "Same thing we've been drinking to since we got here. Here's to six great years!" They clanked their glasses and downed their drinks. Mulder had to admit he was feeling pretty good. He laughed to himself. Scully watched him as he thought. The slight facial changes were just as intoxicating as the alcohol. She almost had every gesture he made memorized. Then he started to laugh. "What's so funny, Mulder?" she asked amused. He rested his head back against the booth and stared at the ceiling. "I just can't believe I'm sitting here in a bar drinking away with *you* - of all people - by my side." He looked up instantly as soon as he finished his sentence. She was frowning at him. "What the fuck is that supposed to mean, Mulder?" "It's just--," he trailed off. "What!?" "Don't get me wrong, Scully. I love your company any way I can get it, but why this? What's up?" She started to play with the candle on the table. "What do you mean?" "Don't play dumb, Dana." Her head shot up at the use of her first name. "What's going on in that beautiful head of yours?" She looked into his eyes. she thought. She didn't answer him for a minute. When it looked like he wasn't about to drop the issue, she answered him. "I'm just sick of it, Mulder." He leaned closer to her and took her hands in his own to let her know he was there for her. "Sick of what?" "Everything. Work, my life - " "Me," he interjected. She squeezed his hands tight. "NO! Not you! Mulder, I don't know *what* I would of done if you weren't in my life these past months. I would have given up hope. I would have given up fighting for my life." "If it weren't for me, you never would of had to deal with it in the first place," he said softly. Scully let go of his hands and got up from her side of the booth to sit next to him. He turned to face her and she took his face in her hands. "For someone so smart, Mulder - you can be pretty dense." He looked down, avoiding her eyes. "Look at me Mulder." He couldn't do it. "Fox William Mulder look me in the eyes!" He did so with the intention of correcting her for using his first name. She covered his mouth before he could get a word out. "Shut up, Mulder. It's my turn to talk." He nodded. "Mulder, you have got to STOP blaming yourself for what happened to me. It is not your fault. I'm here by my choice and no one else's. You could have done nothing to prevent what happened to me. You've always tried to protect me. You have got to stop beating yourself up over this. Don't you see, Mulder? When you hurt, *I* hurt too!" He pressed his forehead against hers. "I feel the same way." "I know," she whispered. "I know." 'American Girl' started to play on the jukebox. Scully's eyes widen and she started to smile. "Come on, Mulder," she jerked at his arm. "You still owe me a dance." He looked at her strangely. "Why are you changing the subject, Scully?" She frowned at him. "What the hell are you talking about?! I said no mind games tonight, Mulder. I'm not in the mood! Now. . . Are you going to dance with me or not." He just stared at her and it was making her uncomfortable. "Fine," she hissed. "I'll find someone else." She moved to get up, but he stopped her. "Scully--" he grabbed her arm and she looked at him. "What did you mean before? You said this song still fits. What part?" She put a finger to his lips. "Listen." He could hear the jukebox over the small crowd, but he already knew the words. And for one desperate moment there He crept back in her memory God, it's so painful Something that's so close Is still so far out of reach . . . He watched her and her eyes started to dance. Looking for an answer to an unasked question. He was inches away from her face. The smell of whiskey and tequila intertwined. "What's out of reach, Dana?" he whispered. She looked at him and she tried to speak but she couldn't find her voice. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "You," she finally whispered back. And then she slipped away from his grasp. Mulder watched her walk into the bathroom and all he could do was slouch back into the booth. He got himself up and walked over to the bar and motioned for the bartender. "Hey, G-Man." The older man said as he walked over to him. He was in his early fifties, but he looked no older than 30. His salt-and-pepper hair gave away his age. "What can I do for you?" "Hey, Jim. What's the damage?" "Calling it a night already? You just got here. You and that beautiful red head." Mulder gave him a grin. "She's my partner." "Uh-huh." "We're just friends." "Uh-huh." He started to laugh. "Mulder, just because I'm old doesn't mean I can't see." "See what?" Mulder asked. "Come on!" "Jim I have absolutely *no* idea what you're talking about." Jim started to laugh. "I don't know why you're trying to hide it. It's not only obvious to me, but to everyone in here." Mulder tilted his head and gave Jim a confused look. "Mulder, for a G-Man you can be pretty dense sometimes." "So I've been told," he mumbled. "Mulder, you're in love with her and it's obvious she feels the same way about you." Mulder opened his mouth to say something, stopped, then a second later he answered him. "You think?" he asked curiously. "No. I know," he said matter-of-factly. He scribbled something onto his pad and laid it in front of Mulder. "Want a piece of advise?" "I wouldn't expect any less of you, Jim." He chuckled. "Don't be afraid, Agent Mulder. It's time for the truth to come out." He stared at him for a second, gave him a wink and then walked away. "The truth," he whispered to himself. "What the hell is that?" Mulder looked at the bill and pulled out his wallet. Scully suddenly walked out of the bathroom. She saw Mulder sitting at the bar and tried to avoid him on her way back to the booth. She was doing fine until someone grabbed her my the arm. She immediately stiffened at the touch. "Mulder," she turned to face him. "Didn't your mother ever tell you that women don't like to be man-handled." He wasn't smiling. "We're leaving." She frowned at him. "Who said I was ready to go?" "I didn't ask. We have some things to talk about and I really don't want to hash it out here. Let's go back to my --" She cut him off. "Mulder, I don't want to talk. I want to drink." "Didn't your mother ever tell you that drinking doesn't solve your problems, it gives you more." "I'm a big girl. I can handle it." "I know you can. Let's just go back --" "Why? We don't have anything to talk about." "Bull shit. Come on." Mulder dragged her over to their booth and grabbed both their coats and they flew out of the door. X x X x X x X x X x X Fox Mulder's Apartment 10:13 pm Mulder had to basically drag Scully back to his apartment. He finally convinced her to come when he mentioned that he had beer in his fridge. She had no intention of stopping her drinking binge. When they entered his apartment she threw off her boots and walked straight over to the fridge. She pulled out two Bud Light's and plopped herself down on Mulder's couch. She opened one of the bottles and took a nice long drink. She leaned her head back against the soft leather and closed her eyes trying to think of a way to get out of there. She really didn't feel like talking. Especially in the state of mind she was in. Mulder wasn't helping. His buzz had all but gone away and she didn't like the thought of being interrogated by a sober Mulder. Check that. She didn't like the thought of being interrogated by Mulder, period. At least if he was drunk there was always the possibility he wouldn't remember anything she said. But, maybe it was better this way. She could always blame the alcohol if she said something she regretted. And she had the feeling that she was going to. Mulder was standing in the kitchen observing a side of Scully he had never seen before. Looks of wonder, shock, and humor crossed his face. "Scully," he started. Her eyes never opened. "Are you sure you want to drink beer after all that whiskey you just downed?" "I'll be fine, Mulder," she muttered. "I can hold my own, remember?" "It won't make you sick?" he asked a bit unsure of her. She had to chuckle. "Mulder, what was the first rule you learned when you went to high school?" He thought for a second, clearly puzzled. "I don't know," he finally answered her. "Always wear clear underwear," he deadpanned. "Beer before liquor never sicker. Liquor before beer have no fear," she recited. "Duh!" He laughed at her. "Teach me, oh wise sensei." "Bow when you say that," she retorted. Mulder finally sat down next to her and she reluctantly opened her eyes. She handed him a beer and turned her head to face him. "Ok, Mulder, so what exactly do you want to talk about?" She took another drink. He opened his beer and took a drink of his own. "You tell me, Scully. It's obvious you're been trying to tell me something. So, out with it." "Mulder, I honestly don't know --" "Cut the crap, Dana. All night you've been telling me to stop playing mind games with you -- " He trailed off. "Do the same for me. No mind games. Tell me what's wrong." She gave him an icy glare. "Mind games!! You have the balls to tell me not to play mind games with *you* when that's all you've done to me since the beginning." "What -are - you - talking - about!!" he shouted, emphasizing each word. "I just wish you would stop! Stop with the mind games you love to play!" "Scully, I have no clue what you're talking about." "All the times you've ditched me. All the times you've led me to believe I was just as important as you in our partnership." She took another drink of her beer before continuing. "All the times you've wanted to trust me, but a part of you stops yourself. All the times you've pushed me away. All the teasing and flirting--" She took yet another drink. "Half the time I think you're serious and then you go and do something that completely throws me off." She drank the rest of the beer and set the now empty bottle on the end table. It was Mulder's turn to take a drink and he finished off his bottle as well. He got up from the couch and fetched two more bottles. Trying to think of something to say. He sat back down and opened the two bottles and handed one to Scully. He took a long drink before speaking. "Scully, --" "Mulder," she cut him off. "Let me get this out before I lose my nerve. She took a deep breath and a drink before speaking. "There are times when I feel like it's just you and me against the world." Mulder smiled at her. "I feel the same way." "But . . . ," she trailed off. "There are times when I feel like it's just *you* against the world . . . and I'm on the other side." "Scully . . .," he interrupted. "Let me finish, Mulder. I need to get this out." Mulder nodded for her to continue. She smiled at him. "Sometimes you make me feel like I'm the most important person in the world to you. But then there are the days you make me feel like a piece of gum stuck to the bottom of your shoe." Mulder winced at her analogy. "Scully . . .," he tried again. "Please, Mulder." He stopped talking and it took her a few moments longer to go on. She chuckled softly before she continued. "Then there are the days that I don't know whether I should strangle you . . ." "Or kiss you," he finished for her. She stared at him for a few seconds. "Um --Yeah," she said softly. They stared at each for what seemed like an eternity to both of them. She tried to stifle a nervous laugh, but stopped. Mulder was staring at her. "What now?" she sighed. He didn't answer her for a few seconds. "I like it when you're guard's down, Scully. I'm glad you're finally letting me in." "Sometimes I wish you'd do the same." They stared at each other again and an awkward silence engulfed the room. Scully shifted uncomfortably and rose to get up. But Mulder pulled her down and she landed in his lap. "Mulder, what are you doing?" she asked nervously. "Something I should have done a long time ago." he said softly. He took Scully's head into his hands and pressed his forehead against hers. "Mulder --" she said shakily. "Shhh," he whispered. "Mulder, we can't do this," she answered. He started to run his fingers through her hair. "Let go, Dana. You've been doing it all night long. Now take the final leap." She said nothing just simply shook her head at him. "What are you so afraid of?" he asked. She eyed him carefully before answering. "You." He drew his head away. "How can you say that?" he asked accusingly. Scully took in a deep breath before answering him. "I'm afraid for our safety. If They find out, it's just something else that they'll use against us." She ran a hand down his face. "I'm afraid one day I'll wake up and you won't be there anymore." She ran her fingers through Mulder's hair. "But most of all, I'm afraid you don't love me the same way I love you," she said quietly. "So close, still so far out of reach." "Let me get this straight. You don't think I love you," he asked with a slight crack. "Scully, don't you realize that you are the only reason I get up in the morning? You are my life now. I don't know what I would do without you." She traced the lines of his jaw. "You love me?" she asked . "More than life itself," he whispered. It looked as if both of them were going to cry so Mulder did the only thing he could think of. He kissed her. A sweet almost chaste like kiss at first, but then he deepened it and Scully didn't protest. He repositioned her on his lap and she slid her hand down Mulder's chest feeling his taut muscles. Mulder reluctantly broke the bond. If at all possible, Scully looked even more nervous. "Sorry, Scully. But I don't want us to do something you'll regret in the morning. Alcohol has a way of doing that to you know." He carefully slipped her off his lap and back onto the couch. Scully sighed deeply. "Second rule I learned in high school," she mumbled as she ran her fingers through her hair as she yawned. The alcohol was finally hitting her system. "Scully, I think I'm going out for a run." She frowned at him. "Why?" "Like I said, I don't want us to do something you'll regret and I'm not about to kick you out. And I definitely need some air to clear my head." She put a hand on his forearm. "No, Mulder. Don't go," she yawned again. "It's raining." "Scully," he laughed. "It is *not* raining." A lighting bolt suddenly filled his apartment and the distant sound of thunder followed. "Yes, it is," she replied with a big smug smile. "Besides, Mulder. I'm afraid that this is a dream and when I wake up and you'll be gone." He put his arms around her. "Don't you get it, Dana?" he asked. "I'll never be gone." She smiled at him and laid her head on his shoulder. "I'm glad," she whispered. "Sleep, Dana." "Mmmmm," she murmured. "Sleep is nice." "Yeah." he kissed the top of her head. "Mulder," she mumbled half-asleep. "Hmm?" "I hope you enjoyed our anniversary." She said as she snuggled into the hollow of his neck. "Yeah," he whispered softly. "And here's to many more." He thought for a second. "Scully?" he asked. "Hum?" "Are you going to remember *any* of this tomorrow?" he asked hopefully. "I better," she mumbled as she drifted off to sleep. Mulder sat there holding her, content that something was finally going right in his life. He chuckled at himself and he soon drifted off to sleep also. For once he was looking forward to waking up in the morning. Especially with the woman he loved in his arms. Life was definitely good and it was only going to get better. X x X x X x X x X x X x X The End . . . So? What do you think? Please let me know. AUTHOR'S NOTE II: As you can tell, I've had a few nights like this (sort of: no Mulder :( But I'm sure a lot of you have been there. When all you wanna do is drink, drink, and drink. Forget school, work, everything. The tequila and the song are more me than Mulder or Scully, but whatever. The bar 'Third Street Saloon' actually exists and it's the way I described it. But it's not in DC, it's in my hometown. If you're ever in Detroit, stop by. It's a great drinking hole :) I've been writing this for a while now, and I could never come up with a really good ending. I've been busy with exams, but I wanted to just finish this so I whipped the ending up pretty quick. I hope it's at least decent. Let me know what you think ;) X x X x X x X x X x X "I wish I was the verb to trust and never let you down." -Pearl Jam "Wish List"