From: "Amanda Leigh Hinds" Date: Wed, 26 Jun 2002 20:15:39 -0400 Subject: He's Got Issues Source: direct Title: He's Got Issues Author: Bynx Category: E-Mail: BabyBynx20@cs.com Spoilers: none really, just round season 6 when Mulder and Scully are off the X-Files and they're under A D Kersh. hehehehe...under......sorry....... Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine, they belong to Chris Carter, 1013 Productions and Fox Broadcasting. I also do not own Penthouse, or Playboy magazines which i mention. Feedback: Yunno where. Summary: A. D. Kersh has issues. Comments: If you read Nice Pants 2- Xray Vision, then you will know where i got the inspiration from. if not then this is just a way for me to try and get ppl to read it. and while yur at it read Nice Pants! Dedication: umm every one and everything that inspires me and makes me write. Although threats aren't needed....so thank you! On with the show.......DOWN IN FRONT!!! ~ X x X x X x X x X x X ~ J. Edgar Hoover Building Mulder and Scully were sitting at their desks. Scully only half doing the background checks they were now assigned to do. Mulder,of course, was reading some magazine. Scully didn't want to know what it was either. Most likely Playboy or Penthouse or something along those lines. Scully was staring at her computer screen when she heard Mulder chuckle. She slowely looked up and saw Mulder staring at her with an ear to ear grin on his face. That's not what was unusual. He was wearing those X-Ray vision goggle glasses things, and staring at her chest. "Mulder i'm up here." She said as she waited for him to advert his gaze to her face and not her chest. When he finally looked up she gave him a small smile. She was amused and slightly turned on. "Mulder what the hell are you doing?" He was still grinning at her, obviously in a playful mood. "Nothing, just getting a peek at something you won't show me." His grin turned into a full smile. He waggled his eyebrows and looked back down to her chest for more emphasis. Getting out of his chair he moved over to her desk. "Hey Scully......you wouldn't mind if I took a peek to see if your a true red head..." He looked down, moved his hand to her inner thigh, and lightly drummed his fingers very close to the junction between her thighs. Shocked but amused, Scully grabbed his hand that was dangerously close to where she wanted it to be, threw it back at him and playfully hit him in his shoulder, light enough to show she was being playful yet hard enough to warn him on further behavior in the office. "Mulder!" She tried to hide her smile but failed miseribly. He chuckled and continued to lean against her desk. "I didn't know you were sensitive on the subject Scully. Got something to hide?" "No, Mulder i don't have anything to hide not that it's any of your business anyway. Maybe you'll find out how sensitive i am around that 'subject'."She was in a very playful mood now and still couldn't wipe the smile off her face. Mulder seemed to notice. "Oh really! Well since i got a peek at you....." He went to his desk, grabbed something, and came back to lean in the same spot on her desk. "....i'll let you have a peek at me." He winked and handed her an identical pair of X-Ray glasses. "I got you a matching pair." "Oh Mulder you shouldn't have." She said with no enthusiasm, but her eyes told him differently. She was having fun and it showed in her eyes. "Yeah, I know but I wanted to." She slipped them on and looked at Mulder. Her gaze slipped downward to his crotch. Her eyebrow raised. "See anything you like?" Before Scully could answer A.D. Kersh's secretary came up to them. She gave them a confused look and shrugged it off. "The A.D. wants to see you right away." Thats all she said as she walked off shaking her head, pinching the bridge of her nose mumbling about how she should get paid more for this job. Mulder and Scully quickly got up and followed her. Both not realizing they were still wearing the X-Ray glasses. They walked into the outer office, then slowely towards the door. Kersh's secretary announced their arrival while Mulder looked back to Scully. Scully gave him a look and asked him silently ' What did you do now?' in which he responded with his hurt puppy dog look and silently saying 'who me?'. Scully wasn't able to respond to him because they were being ushered into Kersh's office. They both sat down in the chairs seated in front of the A.D.'s desk. Both giving each other concerned glances. When the A.D. finally looked up at them his brow crinkled in a way that made him look like one of those rinkly dogs. Mulder looked to Scully who was looking at him both confused. They expected to be chewed out on the spot. Kersh only let out a sigh, closed his eyes, and pinched the bridge of his nose. Mulder wondered if his secretary learned that from him or vice versa. "I don't know how much longer i can deal with this...." Kersh trailed off. he rose from his seat and Scully was the first to notice. Her jaw dropped and she quickly picked it back up and tightly clamped her mouth. She was struggling not to laugh. Mulder gave her a questioning look until he too saw why she was loosing her composure. His reaction was the same as Scully's had been. Now they were both trying not to laugh. Kersh continued to pace his office. He was now behind them and started to speak. "Agents, I was hoping you would enter my office as you do everytime. Walking in like your innocent for whatever actions you were responsible for." Mulder glanced over to Scully who innocently rearranged her bra. Mulder had to cover up his laugh with a cough, while Scully put her hand on her forehead and bent her head downward to hide her smile. They heard the A.D. stop pacing for a moment, but as soon as he stopped he started again. "You should have more respect for your superiors. We have to be strict outside. No one sees whats on the inside. The thing we all want to just show everyone. To let them see how alike we are." Kersh stopped his pacing and stood tall proud of his speech. Mulder was able to regain perfect composer to speak. "Sir that was beautiful." He said that with a straight face. Scully could have believed he was being sincere. Kersh gave him an annoyed look. "No Sir really. It makes me want to rest my head right.....on...your....clothing....clad......brea st." The last part was said slowly. Mulder smiled and stared at the A.D's chest. That was all Scully could take. She snorted and toppled over in a fit of giggles. Mulder couldn't help but to laugh with her, her giggles were contagious. Kersh's face got red with anger. He turned and stalked over to them. He ripped their X-Ray glasses off and threw them in their laps. Mulder and Scully still couldn't stop laughing. Actually Kersh's outburst of anger seemed to make it worse. "Agents get the HELL out of my office!" Kersh nearly screamed! Mulder opened the door for Scully, still laughing. Kersh's secretary heard the A.D.'s yells and had a puzzled look on her face. Kersh could still hear Mulder and Scully's slowly fading laughter from down the hall. He nearly ran over to the door and slammed it. He walked back to his desk and sat down in his large leather chair. He started to unbutton his shirt until he could fit his hand inside his pressed white dress shirt. He began to cry as he caressed his bra clad manly breast. DOWN THE HALL Mulder and Scully were still laughing, though it was starting to die down. Mulder slipped his X- Ray glasses back on and looked at Scully's ass. "Hey Scully....i think you and Kersh shop at the same place! He has those same panties!" Scully started to giggle again. END ya like????