From: CSMsWife@aol.com Date: Fri, 3 Dec 1999 00:38:55 EST Subject: xfc: NEW: High On Life (1 of 1) Source: xfc From: CSMsWife@aol.com Title: High On Life (1 of 1) Disclaimer: The X-Files, Mulder, Scully, and the Lone Gunmen belong to Chris Carter, 1013 Productions, and 20th Century Fox. Classification: Humor, AU Spoiler(s): Three of a Kind Feedback: Please send some, I hardly ever get any! Archive: Anywhere, just let me know about it! : ) XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Las Vegas, NV Fox Mulder clapped as the Elvis Presley impersonator finished "Blue Suede Shoes". He hadn't told a single soul where he would be. His partner at the FBI, Dana Scully, thought he was going to see his mother. *Yeah right, Scully!* When the show ended, he hailed a cab and was heading for his hotel when he saw lights flashing for DEF CON '99. "Excuse me, could you just drop me off here?" The man obliged and Mulder handed him the money. Nothing could have prepared him for what happened next. The Monte Carlo Hotel Heading for the bar, Mulder saw a huge group of men crowded around some woman. His curiosity got the better of him and then he saw his friend, Frohike. "Frohike, what's going on?" "Uh hi, Mulder. Uh, what are you doing here? I thought you were, uh, out of town." "I was, I came here. What is all the fuss about? Some chick so drunk she's showing off her--" He never did finish, he saw who the "chick" was. "Scully?" Mulder couldn't believe it. "What are you doing here?" Scully stood up, wobbling a little. "Hey guys, look! This is Fox and ooh boy, is he one!" "Scully, what have you been drinking?" She patted Mulder on the cheek. "I didn't drink anything Foxy Babe, I'm high on life!" Scully spun in a circle. "Wheeee!" "Scully!" Mulder said sharply as he grabbed her arm. She pouted like a child and stuck her tongue out at him. "Tell him to go away," she told Frohike. "Scully, he's just trying to help. Come on, lets get upstairs." "Okay," she answered reluctantly. Mulder held onto Scully as Frohike explained everything from the start. "Remember Suzanne Modeski?" "Yeah, I remember her." "She's here. She's presenting something at the convention with her husband." When the elevator doors opened, the three entered and Frohike pushed thirty. Neither noticed Scully as she proceeded to push every button from the basement floor to the 29th. "So has Byers talked to her?" Just then the elevator stopped on the basement floor. Mulder and Frohike looked at the buttons then looked at Scully. She grinned as the doors shut then put her arms around Mulder's neck. "Hey Foxy babe, I want a kiss!" *Wonderful! She's asking me for a kiss? I've wanted to kiss her for so long...No! I can't, she's drunk...* "Scully, I can't, not like this." "Fine!" She turned to Frohike and kissed him instead! Mulder couldn't believe his eyes, she had slammed the little man against the elevator wall and really kissed him. When Scully broke away, Frohike slumped to the floor. "Wow!" Eventually, the three arrived at their destination and Frohike, who was still in total euphoria, unlocked the door. Mulder was trying to figure out how Scully could kiss Frohike even while intoxicated. Byers and Langly looked up from the laptop. "Mulder? What are you doing here?" Before he could answer, Scully shouted a hello to the other men. "What the hell's wrong with her? She's been like that since the autopsy," said Langly. He remembered how he had gone into the other room to throw up and when he went back in, Scully was on the floor. She had passed out. When she woke up, she seemed weird and said she found nothing wrong with the man except that he'd been hit by a bus. "Ok, guys, think. What has Scully had to drink?" Mulder asked. They looked at one another. "Bottled water," Byers said. "Coffee," Langly added. "More bottled water," Frohike finished. "I have this feeling Suzanne knows." "Byers, you are so absorbed in that woman!" "Hey, you're too absorbed in Agent Scully!" Byers shot back at Frohike. With that, he stormed out to find Suzanne. "Frohike, quit being an ass and lets try to figure this out," Mulder said. Scully jumped onto the bed. "Scully, what are you doing?" "Jumping, Foxy Babe!" Come join me-" "Uh, not right now." "Party pooper!" "I'll join-" Mulder put a hand on Frohike's shoulder. "Not now, we need to figure this out!" "Sombody's jealous!" Scully sang. The door opend and Byers enterd with Suzanne. "Oh God!" she said. Scully jumped to the floor. "Oh, can we do a striptease for these guys!" she asked excitedly. "Maybe later, Agent Scully. Sit down on the bed, I want to check something out." Scully plopped onto the bed and let Suzanne inspect her head. "I thought so," she said looking at the four men. "She's been drugged. You can see the prick behind her ear. You said she was doing an autopsy at the time, on the man that was hit by the bus, right? He might have had the same puncture wound on himself. No one wanted Agent Scully to figure that out." "So, when I excused myself, someone popped in for a little visit," Langly said. Suzanne nodded. "God, Mulder, I'm sorry. I didn't know I was going to get queasy." "It's alright, Langly, I understand. Now Suzanne, what is this stuff she was drugged with?" "It's a kind of mind-altering substance. My husband invented it and I know about an antidote!" she replied running out the room. Five minutes later, Suzanne returned with the antidote and got a syringe ready. Scully took one look at it and ran around the room. "No! No! I don't want a shot! NO! Fox, Fox, please, no shot!" she pleaded. Mulder grabbed Scully by the arm. "Just calm down, okay. No one is going to give you a shot," he lied. "That's for Frohike, he's going to get it in the ass." She nodded slowly then gasped as Suzanne pricked her. "Liar, Liar, pants on fire!" she slurred. Mulder caught her when her knees buckled underneath and carried her to the bed. "Will she remember what happened?" he asked. "Fortunately not." "Damn!" Frohike cursed. "Back to the drawing board." Scully woke up about two hours later. She wondered where she was and then noticed she was in the Gunmen's hotel room. Looking at her watch, Scully saw that it was 7:15 pm. *What the hell happened? Why am I in here?* She heard the toilet flush and saw Mulder come out of the bathroom. "Hey, Scully! You're awake." "What happened? And when the hell did you get here?" "You fainted doing an autopsy." "I fainted?" she replied skeptically. "I don't faint doing autopsies, Mulder, it's part of my job description." "I'm just repeating what Langly said." "Ok, ok. I thought you were visiting your mom," she said confused. "Sure, Scully, me visit my mom! She'd throw me out the door! No, I've been here in Vegas but I didn't call you. The guys made some voice compilation thing or whatever." Scully stood up. "I'm going to kick their asses!" THE END