From erica.miszti@premium-mail.co.uk Tue Apr 01 12:38:28 1997 Subject: Him and Me I (1/1) by Erica Miszti From: "Miszti, Erica" -------- TITLE: Him and Me I: The First Time AUTHOR: Erica Miszti EMAIL: Erica@Mydomain.co.uk RATING: G CLASSIFICATION: H SUMMARY: An X-Phile's search for the Truth. DISCLAIMER: X Files, Mulder, Scully = Chris Carter, Fox, 10-13. No copyright infringement intended. I'd grovel in person if they'd let me. Beg for forgiveness. On my hands and knees. Wearing just my underwear. Handcuff me and..CUT!! ;) This is meant as satirical. If it comes across as bitter, is it truly a surprise? This story is what you get when you get stuck for a month as a temp secretary when you want to be out with your student friends in the pub. I've only worked 2 weeks, there'll be more like this :) XXXXXXXXXXXXXX Him and Me I: The First Time by Erica Miszti XXX That first time I made the journey it wasn't planned at all and, although I'll admit to having been speeded on my way by two bottles of black cherry Two Dogs, I was not drunk. Not drunk at all. Hacienda is the first word that springs to mind when I think of the building, although its lines were a little too classical in design to be truthfully described as Spanish in origin. Perhaps Greek would be more apt. Yes, it is somewhere between a Spanish colonial house and a Greek temple. Inside, the walls were a smooth, even white, which did not reflect blindly but rather shone with an almost fluorescent luminosity. And then I saw him and he glowed too. He was seated on a blue mat, at the top of a tall flight of grey marble steps, legs crossed into the lotus position. His eyes were closed in meditation. I fleetingly wondered what he was thinking, where he was inside that frightening astute and inventive mind. He looked as serene as Buddha, as venerable as Christ. I sank to my knees before my deity. "I have come to find the truths you hold." I said in a voice somewhere between a whisper and a sob. "Great Creator, can you give me the answers I seek." I said, increasing the volume of my voice so that it bounced and echoed off the bare walls. His eyes snapped open and the hostile gaze he turned on me scared, and scarred, me. "How did you get on here?" He demanded angrily, standing up awkwardly, belying the grace of the yogic position. "I was brought here to learn." I replied, still on my knees. He bounded down the steps with the agility of a wounded lion. He dragged me roughly to my feet. "Get out of here before I call security." He stated, propelling me in the direction of the door. As his hand let go of my sleeve, I turned on him. My eyes must have betrayed my emotion, for he stepped back from me with fear in his eyes. "Why are you throwing me out?" I demanded, anger making my voice more throaty. "This is my property." He said hastily. "I didn't ask you to come here." "Yes you did." I answered softly. "You invited me here. You called me. You promised me the truth. You promised me the truth that Mulder and Scully seek." I finished and an angry tear escaped from my left eye, blurring my contact lens and causing me to see him through a fuzzy haze - like Vaseline on a piece of glass. He sneered. "I made no promise." He said flatly. "I make the rules." "And you wonder why we break them?" I spat viscously. "I *believed* in you. You MADE me believe." I trailed off. "You made a lot of people want to believe." I finished weakly. "The voice Mulder heard when his sister was taken was you and we all heard it too." "I never asked you to." He said softly. "I never expected you to be listening." "Too bad." I snapped. "Because I'm one of a million devotees and you can't let us down." "Why not?" He asked roughly. "It's my universe!" "You hurt us, you abuse us, but you *need* us." I said. "You're nothing without us." "Yeah," He sneered. "Who else would buy all the junk we sell!" I was unmoved. "You can't hurt me that way." I replied flatly. "I don't buy many of those things. I don't need them. I need Mulder. I need Scully. I need their truths." I laughed bitterly. "You *really* believe that a mug is enough to hold my beliefs and my interest." "People buy them." He answered. "Do you really feel that we are that stupid or are you just trying dirty tricks to wound me?" "You said that I wanted to hurt you." He remarked wryly. "I asked you a direct question, for once, could I please have a direct answer." He sighed and turned away from me. "Get out of my world." His tone was tired. "This is my world." I said, with blank features but smiling inwardly. "My story, so it's *my* world." He spun back and glared at me. "Then you called me here?" He demanded. "I brought you, I didn't call. You wouldn't have come otherwise." "Damn right." He said. "You're afraid!" I exclaimed. "We scare you. You're creation has become too much for you to understand." "You're being stupid.." He attempted to cut in. "Deny it all you want." I spat. "You're content to play with us from a distance but you wont stand up and face us. It's the truth, isn't it?" "What do you understand about the truth!" He exclaimed. "Do you know what's happening? Aliens, clones, smallpox - do you know what it all means?" He was shouting now. "No." I admitted, quietened but not phased by his vehemence. "No." He echoed harshly. "That's why I have control. You don't like? Then hit the off button!" "And if I did?" We were nose to nose now. "What if millions of us did? What would that do to you? A person who preaches through Mulder about exposure but prefers to play Cancerman and censor." I sighed and spoke quietly again, imploring rather then angry. "We understand. We truly do. They're yours. Mulder and Scully belong to you. Isn't that enough?" I touched his shoulder but he jerked away from me and watched my face with wide eyes. "If they belonged to me then that alone would be enough for me. What harm a few pictures? A few sound-bites?" My eyes held his for a long moment, before I finally turned away. "We'll buy your mugs and your posters if that's what you want. We'll shut up complaining and be your willing disciples again." I turned back and smiled. "You gave us something special, please don't ruin it." My eyes begged him along with my words. "They're my property." He said weakly. "We *know* that!" I exclaimed. "We can't take them away from you. Just let us be, please." I shamelessly begged. "I can't do that." He said flatly. I sighed and shrugged. "I'm sorry I wasted your time." I remarked bitterly and turned to leave. "Wait!" He called after me. I turned back and saw the slouched set of his shoulders, the arm half out-stretched as if unwillingly beckoning me. "Will you come back again?" He asked softly. I smiled at the minor victory. "Just try and keep me away." I grinned and left the tarnished home of the truth I had sought but not yet found. THE END XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX FYI - 'Two Dogs' is a drink, affectionately known (hah, hah!) as an alcoho-pop. It's about 5% by volume. Good stuff, but only if you're old enough to drink it legally, of course "Why is this so hard to believe?" Fox Mulder, 'Terma' ******* Erica.Miszti@premium-mail.co.uk Erica@Mydomain.co.uk ***Classified Writings*** http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Cavern/1919/fanfic.htm (Under Construction - 1/4/97) "It is the spirit of the age to believe that any fact, no matter how suspect, is superior to any imaginative exercise, no matter how true." Gore Vidal "I am regularly required to believe in the impossible.. It's not so hard for me to believe in the outrageous." Graham Masterton, Mirror "..X Files viewers are given a vitalistic world informed by the discourses and technologies of the body, by Foucauldian bio-power. The truth is in the genes." Linda Badley, Deny All Knowledge: Reading the X Files "I love those breaking noises." Drop Dead Fred "We didn't find the truth out there - so we decided to come here and watch 'Neighbours'!" Friendly Aliens, ŠJohn Pickering 1996