From: "Riina Ikonen" Date: Tue, 22 Jun 1999 15:33:17 Subject: New Story: "Honey" by Riina Ikonen "Honey" by Michèle Emily Starbuck AKA Riina Ikonen 99/04/07 Disclaimer: The greatest characters of all times (i.e. Mulder & Scully) are property of Chris Carter, 20th Century Fox and 1013 Productions. And also, DD owns Mulder and GA owns Scully. I am making no money out of this, so please don't sue me. You wouldn't get much and besides, you don't want to hurt a girl who's just having a little fun, right? This story, however, is completely made up by me. Spoilers: There's a small reference to Post-Modern Prometheus but nothing big really. Classification: MSR and some angst, I think. Summary: Mulder gets in to a hospital and Scully regrets their earlier argument. When he's okay, she decides to tell him about her feelings before it's too late. Archive: Feel free, anywhere! Though it would be kind of you to let me know where :) Author's notes: If my use of language isn't that good, it's probably because English is my second language. So please forgive me the mistakes. And if you think it's implausible that Mulder gets shot in his head, is okay after one night and gets out of the hospital the next day, he does that in the movie too! This is my first MSR; I stopped thinking about the consequences and went with it... Please, send my *any* comments you have! You'll find my e-mail address after the story. I'll appreciate any kind of feedback, also constructive criticism. -------------------- "Honey" by Riina Ikonen "It's not like you have ever actually tried to fit in the protocol, Mulder," Scully said angrily. They were arguing about Mulder's behavior during their on-going case. He had caused them problems in the Bureau. "You're always breaking the rules and expecting other people to accept that, and---" "Damn it, Scully! I thought you were on my side." Scully shut up at once. She knew Mulder hated it when she nagged at him but she just didn't want him to get into troubles, fired or something. She was just trying to help him, and he accused her of not being in his side. That hurt her. Mulder saw her face turn cold and distant and it scared him. "If you don't trust me anymore, there's no point in us having this conversation," she said icily. He wanted to apologize but somehow just couldn't. "If that's what you think, then fine. I'll go," he said and walked out of the door. "That's not what I want to think, Mulder. But what am I supposed to think?" she asked quietly when he was gone. She curled up on her sofa and closed her eyes. A few tears escaped her eyes as she regretted her words. Her phone rang, and she hesitated a moment before answering it because she wasn't ready to talk to Mulder yet. "Scully." "I know where you live," a man's voice said. "Who is this?" Scully asked, a bit scared. "I'm gonna get you before you get me." Then Scully understood. It was the murderer they were chasing. "Both of you." A click, and the other end was dead. Scully called and asked someone to trace the call but they didn't find out where it had come from. he had said. Mulder didn't know about it so he wasn't prepared. she thought to herself. But still... she wanted to apologize anyway, and if he wouldn't want to talk to her, she could say it was about work. Yeah she was a little mad at him sometimes, but she was also very mad *about* him and she wanted him to know he could really trust her. And maybe more... She took her purse and left the apartment. -------------------- Scully saw police cars in front of the building and went to one of the officers. "What's going on here?" she asked. "I'm not exactly sure. I just arrived. Do you live in here?" the officer asked. "No," she answered. She went inside and took an elevator to the floor where Mulder's apartment was, hoping to find him there. When she stepped out of the elevator, another officer came to her. "Do you live in here?" "No. What has happened?" "Sorry, I can't tell you that." She walked past the officer but he grabbed her shoulder. "You can't go there!" "I'm a federal agent," she said impatiently and showed her badge. The officer let her go, and she saw that the officers were mostly in front of Mulder's door. Oh no, this was concerning. "Would somebody please tell me what the hell is going on here?" she asked loudly, causing a silence in the hallway. "There was a man in that apartment who got shot. He's in the hospital now," one of the officers explained. She closed her eyes and forced herself to think the man in there wasn't Mulder. "Do you know who he is?" she asked carefully, being afraid of the answer. "His name is Fox Mulder." Scully closed her eyes again. She couldn't say anything. Then, after getting her voice back, she asked, "In which hospital?" "Navy Memorial." "Thanks," she said and left to the hospital. -------------------- "There was a man brought in here. His name is Fox Mulder. Can you tell me where he is?" she asked the woman behind the reception disk. She seemed to look for the information for ages. "In the room 903," she finally said. Scully thanked the woman and rushed to find 903. A nurse who came out of the room said, "You can't go in there, not yet. He was just being operated and needs rest now." "Is he...is he going to be alright?" she could hardly ask. "We can't say anything for sure right now. He got shot on the side of his head but luckily it didn't damage his brain," the nurse explained. "The doctor will be here soon. Then you can go and see him," she said and left. Scully looked into the room through a small window. She couldn't hold the tears back anymore. Mulder looked so helpless laying in the bed. Oh God, what if he... No, she couldn't even think about that. After a few long minutes the doctor came. "I'm Dr. William Craft. Are you Mrs. Mulder?" "No, I'm his friend. How is he?" "Well, it's too early to say anything." Scully was just about to ask more but the doctor opened the door and she forgot what she was going to say. "Oh my God, Mulder..." she said, quietly, almost whispering. She sat on the edge of the bed and took his hand on hers. "Do you know who Scully is?" the doctor asked. "I'm Dana Scully, why?" "When he was brought here, he mumbled various things we couldn't understand. There was one thing though we did understand, he kept saying something about Scully," he explained. "You must be very important to him." She didn't say anything, but tears fell down her cheeks. "Well, I'll leave you two alone now. I'm coming back to check on him later. He might be a little dizzy if he wakes up, he's under a medication. And remember, he needs rest," the doctor said and walked out of the room. When the doctor was gone she knelt by the bed, took his hand in hers again and started speaking quietly. "Hi, it's me," she said. "Mulder, can you hear me?" She knew he couldn't but she had read that if a patient was unconscious or in coma, a familiar voice might help to bring him back. It might not have been her opinion as a medical doctor but as a woman, as Dana Scully she believed in it. And at the moment it was all she could do for him. "So, since you're not able to stop me, I'm gonna call you Fox," she said and smiled a sad smile, kissing his hand. She laid her head on the bed and took their entwined hands under her chin. She was really tired, it had been a tough night and it was late. It was dark in the room as she lay by the bed, blaming herself for what had happened. Why did she have to snap at him? At least she should've called him right away when the murderer called her. "I'm sorry, Mulder. I mean Fox. I am on your side, at least I've tried to be. Please, wake up and tell me you know that I'd do anything for you," she said through her tears. It was hard - and painful - to believe that a couple of hours ago she had been so cold towards the man she loved and who was now in front of her nearly dying. She was tired of the bad thoughts and tried to think about something good. She closed her eyes and dreamed of telling him what she felt for him. He'd say he felt the same way about her and they'd both be so happy... She dreamed of kissing him... It was stupid and selfish of her to think he'd love her nearly as much as she loved him. And so her favorite dream went on in her mind. She must've fallen asleep because she was awakened by a touch on her neck. It was Mulder's hand - warm and soft, and felt incredibly good. No one else caused her the same feeling just by touching her. "Mulder?" she asked as she raised her head. No answer. "Mulder can you hear me?" she asked again. Still no answer. She glanced at her watch and sighed. It was a little over midnight. "Fox, did you touch me?" Silence. "C'mon, tell me you don't want me to call you Fox," she coaxed, but for no avail. Maybe she had just imagined his hand was moving. Then she heard him speak. "Scully?" his voice was weak, just a whisper. "Mulder?" "Don't...call me Fox," he mumbled. she thought and said gently, "Okay. But I will if you'll keep scaring me that way." He gave her a small smile but it vanished soon. "Where...am I? Scully...please don't...go..." He suddenly sounded scared, like he had just now realized he was in a place he didn't recognize. "It's OK, Mulder. I'm here. You got shot and you're in the hospital now but you're gonna be just fine." She really hoped she was right. "He...said he was...going to do something to...you, and I thought---" he murmured. she thought. "Shh...You need to save your energy," she said as she smoothed his hair. The doctor came in, and Scully's hand was withdrawn. "How's he doing?" he asked. "He just woke up," Scully told him. "That's a good sign," the doctor said. "Would you please wait outside while I'm examining him." "I'll be back soon," she said to Mulder and reluctantly let go of his hand. She rose from the bed, walked out of the room and closed the door behind her. Then it occurred to her that she hadn't eaten anything since lunch. She got a cup of ice tea for herself and sat down to drink it. Soon the doctor came from Mulder's room. "Is he going to be alright?" she asked. "Let's hope the best," he answered. "But fear the worst?" "He woke up, and that is a good sign, but he's still critical. He keeps saying your name, so I think you should go in there but he needs to rest, remember that." "Is there anything you can say for sure?" she asked, desperately. "It's likely that he'll live, but I can't guarantee anything. He lost a lot of blood." Scully went back to Mulder's room. It was still dark in there, the doctor had turn the lights off when he had left. "Scully?" Mulder said as she closed the door. "I'm here." She sat by the bed. "Am I...going to...die?" he asked. Speaking was difficult to him. "No! Don't you dare even think about that. You're not gonna leave me alone." "But I... I'm so tired." "I know Mulder, and that's why you need to rest," she said and smoothed his hair again. "Try to sleep now, okay? I'll go out so I won't be disturbing you," she said and rose to leave. "Don't go...please Scully...I need you," he said really weakly. "Please don't go." He sounded like a scared child who was about to be left alone in a dark room, and the last thing she wanted right now was to cause him anymore pain than he already had. She walked back to the bed and placed a hand on his arm. "Okay, I won't go anywhere." She took a comfortable armchair from in front of the window to near the bed and sat there. "Scully?" "Yeah?" "Thank you...for being here," Mulder said. He was almost asleep when Scully quietly replied. "Anytime. Just be all right when you wake up in the morning." Then she just looked at him. It was awful to see Mulder like that. Laying there, so helpless... If he would...not make it, she wouldn't know how to live. Her life would be empty, useless. The idea of it was so terrifying she was angry to herself about even thinking about that kind of thing. She looked at him for a long time, she felt she could spend days just watching him. After about two hours she fell asleep. She didn't know how long she had been asleep when she woke up again. Mulder was moving in the bed, he nearly fell over the edge. "Mulder wake up!" Scully said and grabbed his arm. He was in deep sleep, he didn't wake up. "Mulder!" she said, this time louder, and he woke up. He rose into a sitting position, and Scully sat on the bed. "You were having a nightmare," she said. "Everything's OK now," she continued as she noticed that he looked very frightened. "I'm scared, Scully," he said, nearly crying. "I'm so scared that they'll hurt you..." She moved a little closer and wrapped her arms around him. "Shh, it's okay honey, it's okay..." she soothed. Then she realized she had just called him 'honey', and it felt good. She liked calling him that. "I'm sorry Scully... I'm so sorry..." he kept saying that, his voice eventually breaking down. "Don't be sorry, everything's okay," she tried to comfort him, though she had no idea what he was sorry about. "Our suspect called me and said he was gonna get both of us and I didn't call you. I was about to come to your place and tell you but he came and told me that I was the first one to die, then you, and I tried to stop him but he shot me." The words were coming from his mouth so fast it was amazing her, considering his condition, and he just kept talking. "I didn't have time to warn you about him, and when the paramedics came I tried to tell them to call you but they didn't understand and I was so afraid he'd kill you and I thought that if he does, I might die as well 'cause I couldn't live without you Scully. I'm so glad that you're okay. Don't go away, I can't lose you and if you leave he might do something to you---" "Listen to me honey." Tears were flowing down her face, tears caused by his sincere words that made her want to kiss him and wrap her arms around him and never let go. "He called me too and I didn't call you. I came to tell you about him but I was too late. You're the one who got shot, not me. I should be sorry, not you. And I am." He still hadn't noticed that she had called him honey, and she couldn't decide was it a good thing for her or not. "You don't need to be sorry. I know you're on my side, and I trust you completely." He was still in her arms, but she pulled away now to see his face. He looked irresistible even though he had been operated and had just woke up. His eyes were full of affection, and she couldn't help but touch his face. She gently caressed his cheek with her fingers and then his hair. She wanted to tell him that but she knew he was tired and needed to sleep. "Try to sleep now, Mulder. I'll be here," she said softly, kissed his cheek and moved back into the armchair. He put his head onto the pillow and fell asleep almost instantly. She watched him sleep for awhile and then fell asleep too. Daylight filled the room when Scully woke up. She smiled as she saw Mulder sleeping peacefully, he looked like he was having a nice dream. She looked at her watch; it was 9:43. After a couple of minutes, he woke up too. "Hi, Scully." He smiled at her. "I was just dreaming about you." "Good dream, I hope," she said and returned his smile. "Definitely one of the best dreams I've had in a long time." "What did I do?" she asked. "Well, you uh..." His sentence was never completed as a nurse walked in. "How are you feeling today, Mr. Mulder?" she asked. "I'm okay. Though my head hurts a bit." "Well I don't think it's that bad, considering that if the bullet had damaged your brain, you'd feel a lot worse. If you felt anything, that is." The nurse meant that as a joke, and Mulder grinned at it but Scully couldn't smile. The thought was so terrifying she could hardly fight the tears in her eyes. she said to herself. The nurse checked everything was all right with Mulder and left. "Scully, what's wrong?" he asked. "I saw your face, you were about to cry. What is it?" "How can you even ask something like that, Mulder? You're lying in a hospital bed, you got nearly killed because of me, and you're asking me what's wrong." She couldn't fight the tears anymore. "I'm sorry..." "Come here," he said softly, opening his arms for her. She sat onto the bed and was locked into his embrace. "Would you do something for me, Scully?" he whispered. "Anything, ho--- Mulder," she said. He pulled away from her to be able to look in her eyes. "None of this is your fault so stop acting like it was, okay?" "Well... If it makes you feel better." "Yes, it does. Can I ask for another favor?" "Just name it and I'll do it." "The man who shot me is still out there. Maybe you should go to the office and see if there's any new information. And while you're there, tell Skinner that I won't be coming to work." "Are you sure you want me to go?" she asked. "Sure. I'll be fine," he said. "Really," he added as he saw her concerned expression. "Fine. I'll come back later, okay?" She ran her fingers through his hair and touched his face before getting up. She was stopped at the door by Mulder's voice. "Scully?" "Yeah?" She turned around. "Thank you." "Anytime." She smiled briefly and walked out of the door. She had to get out before she'd say too much. ------------------ Around three o'clock in the afternoon Mulder woke up as Scully walked in. "Missed me?" she asked, smiling. "I wouldn't have survived another minute without you." He smiled back. She was amazingly beautiful, even more so when she smiled. She had changed her clothes after last night and was now wearing a dark grey jacket and a cream-colored blouse. "So, anything new at work?" he asked. "They got our guy. After he shot you, they sent a couple of agents after him, and he was caught at my apartment." "Oh my God, Scully. I'm so glad you were here. He might've---" "He's in jail now, Mulder," she interrupted. "So, how are you doing?" "Fine, I guess. The headache has gotten better, I hardly even notice it anymore." "That's good to hear," said the doctor who had just entered the room. "Can I go home tonight, doctor?" Mulder asked. "Well... Do you live alone?" "I'll stay with him for as long as it's needed," Scully volunteered. "Scully, you don't have to do that," Mulder said. "I know, but I want to. If that's okay, Dr. Craft? I'm a medical doctor myself." "Okay. But he mustn't do anything too heavy nor should he be left alone for the night." "I'll see to that," Scully promised. "So when can I leave?" Mulder asked. "In a couple of hours. I'll get the paperwork started." Mulder and Scully thanked the doctor and he left the room. "You really don't have to do this, Scully. I don't wanna bother you any more than I normally do," Mulder said. "You normally bother me so much that this feels like a small favor," she joked. "Ha ha, very funny. I'm serious." "Mulder, you're not bothering me. And besides, I'd rather spend the night at my place than here," she said. "Okay doc, whatever you say," he said and they both smiled. -------------------- "Make yourself at home. I'm gonna see if there's anything we could eat," she said as they entered her apartment. "Take your stuff in the bedroom, I'll take the couch for the night," she yelled from the kitchen. She made them tea and sandwiches and then entered her living-room with the food, finding Mulder on the couch watching TV. She sat down next to him and gave him his cup of tea and the sandwiches. "By the way, do you mind sleeping in the sheets I've used?" she asked. "Not at all." The idea of sleeping in her sheets with her scent on them was more than pleasant; he sure wouldn't be having any nightmares tonight. Scully liked the situation; she and Mulder spending the night together, just the two of them and not on a stakeout. It almost felt like... She shook her head to get that out of her mind. "So, you wanna do something or just go to sleep?" she asked after they finished eating. "Well, there's something I'd like to do," he answered and switched off the TV. "What?" "Can I use your CD player?" "Sure." He stood up, turned the lights off so that only a soft light came from the kitchen, chose a CD with slow love songs and turned the volume down so that it was a nice, comfortable background music. Scully thought. Listening to these songs with Mulder in a dimly lit room wasn't exactly easy for her self-control, but still she had to like it. She was surprised at Mulder's softly spoken words. "Dance with me, Scully." She hesitated for a moment before getting up from the couch and taking his hand. she thought as she accepted his invitation and moved close to him, leaning her head on his chest. They had danced before, in a Cher concert. She had been happily surprised when he had extended his hand to her, and she had loved the dancing. And she loved it now, but this was different. The room was nearly dark, they were alone and they were slow-dancing. Scully found herself wrapping her arms around his neck and when she felt his cheek slightly touching hers, she had to focus on her breathing for awhile. She could feel the world slipping away from her, only she and Mulder and the soft music remained. Then she forced her feet back to the ground. "Mulder..." She hated to break the wonderful moment but if she didn't do it now, she would do something she might regret. "Yeah?" he whispered. They were still cheek to cheek, and she couldn't find enough strength to move away. "What are we doing?" That wasn't exactly what she was going to ask but she didn't know what she should've asked. "Mmm... Slow-dancing in your living-room, I think," he said softly, and as he spoke, his lips tickled her ear, causing her to shiver. He had said 'I think' because he wasn't sure if this was really happening or was it just one of his dreams. "Why?" "'Cause I asked you to dance with me...honey," he whispered in her ear. She lifted her head to look him in the eyes. "What?" she asked. "You think I didn't notice when you called me that?" She was embarrassed and looked at the floor. "I, um..." she began, but as she looked in his hazel eyes again she was at a loss of words. Their faces got closer and closer until their lips were mere inches apart. The next thing she knew was that they were kissing. It was something neither of them was planning on, it just happened, and neither of them wanted to stop it. The rest of the universe stopped existing; there was nothing else than the two of them, sharing their first kiss. The feeling of his full lips on hers was like a drug to her; she felt like she was high and knew she was addicted. He knew now that this surely wasn't a dream; no dream could ever be nearly as wonderful and vivid as this moment. He wanted it to last forever and hoped this wasn't going to be the last kiss they ever shared. "Scully, I..." he started as they had pulled away from the kiss to breathe. "We should..." "There's something I need to tell you, Mulder." Her voice was worrying him. She was about to say something serious, and he was afraid it would be that the kiss was a big mistake. "I love you." There. She said it, three simple words and she was still alive. Mulder was silent, he feared he had heard wrong, and the very idea of Scully saying those words to him was enough to make him wordless. She thought he probably hadn't heard her so she started again. "I should've told you this a long time ago but I just... I just didn't, I couldn't find the courage. Last night at the hospital, I thought I would never get the chance to tell you and it broke my heart. So I guess it's better late than never. I love you, Mulder. Honey." He looked at her, his eyes full of love and affection for her. He couldn't believe what he had just heard, the woman he trusted, respected, cared for and loved, his Scully, his honey, was in love with him. "Oh, Scully..." he began, "I love you too. Last night I thought I was gonna die without saying that to you and I thought I'd never hold you again, never touch you again..." His voice trailed off. "Shh, it's okay." She soothed his hair as he held her so tight that she thought he was crushing her. "Mulder... I can't breathe," she gasped, and he loosened his grip on her. "Sorry," he said, a bit embarrassed. "It's okay," she smiled. "That wouldn't be the most awful way to die I can think of." "Are you happy, Scully?" he suddenly asked. "Why do you ask that?" "Well, I just... I feel like I've caused you so much pain and sorrow, and I'd love to be a person who makes you happy for a change." As he said that, he placed his hand on her left cheek. "The pain I've been through is *not* your fault, and right now I'm the happiest person in this universe." She mirrored his earlier action with her hand. "But there's one thing that would make me even more happier than I already am." "What is it?" he asked, hoping it was something he could do for her. "This." She stood on tiptoe and brought her lips to his. And again, she was totally lost. She used to think that she got totally lost in his eyes, but now she was lost even more. She remembered a song which said "If you wanna know, if he loves you so, it's in his kiss." Well, if that was true, he definitely loved her. She was the luckiest person in the world to have Mulder in her life and the fact that he loved her made it a thousand times better. He would've disagreed with her though; in his mind, even before this, *he* was the luckiest person in the world to have Scully as a partner, and now this. He indeed was blessed. Her soft lips on his were the sweetest thing he had ever tasted. Who would have ever guessed that one kiss could be so much more wonderful than words could say? Well, who would have ever guessed there could be a woman like her, either. After an eternity their lips parted and they gasped for air. "I think you should go to sleep, Mulder. I wouldn't be proud of myself if your cause of death was 'Kissed to death'." She smiled at him. "Sure, fine, whatever." He grinned and headed to the bedroom to his overnight bag. "I'll change in the bathroom." After he was gone, she went to her closet, got undressed and put on her light blue silk pajamas. She couldn't remember the last time when she had been this happy. She wanted the whole world to know how happy she was and how much she loved Fox Mulder. And she could start by telling him, so when Mulder entered her bedroom, she walked to him, wrapped her arms around him and gave him a little kiss. "I love you, Mulder." He was happily surprised at her actions, and he kissed her back. "I love you too." She led him to he bed and tucked the covers around him and kissed his cheek. "Good night, honey." "Stay here with me, Scully," he said, grabbing her arm before she walked away. She hesitated only a second before getting onto the bed, slipped herself under the covers and snuggled up to him. She felt invincible, not alone but with him. They could achieve anything, and even if they couldn't, they were together. And that was all that mattered. THE END! -------------------- So, whaddid you think? PLEASE tell me your comments! I need you on this ;) Or just e-mail me to let me know you read this. Thanx! Riina AKA M.E. Starbuck Dramaqueen@iobox.fi or Invisigoth@scifispace.com All my other fanfics and lots of XF stuff at my homepage http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Studio/6223/