From: "Debbie Cullen" Date: Wed, 22 Aug 2001 16:12:55 -0400 Subject: Story Submission Source: direct TITLE: I Can't Take It Anymore! AUTHOR: Debbie Cullen djc45@hotmail.com RATING: NC-17 CLASSIFICATION: Mulder/Scully Romance KEYWORDS: SPOILERS: Dead Alive, Three Words SUMMARY: Scully can't handle Mulder's indifference any longer. She decides to confront him and find out what's really bothering him. FEEDBACK: Please! I appreciate all feedback - for or against! DISCLAIMER: Anything X-Files I may have used, do not belong to me. They belong to Chris Carter and 1013 Productions as well, of course, as David and Gillian who bring Mulder and Scully to life so vividly every week. The words to "Breathe" (by Faith Hill) don't belong to me either. I just borrowed them because they fit in here so well. No infringement intended. I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! Not being able to handle the situation between him and Scully any longer, he decides to do something about it. Unfortunately, instead of talking to Scully, he decides to go and talk to Agent Doggett. He has to find out the truth! He loves her, but if she's moved on then he has to let her be happy. When he arrives at the office, Agent Doggett is sitting at Scully's desk, working on the computer. He doesn't even look up until Mulder is standing right in front of him. "Agent Mulder," he says as he gets up and extends his hand. They shake. "I assume you are Agent Doggett," Mulder says. "Yes, John Doggett." Mulder isn't exactly sure what to say, so Doggett breaks the ice. "Agent Scully isn't in today." "I didn't come looking for her. I came looking for you. "Well, in that case, what can I do for you?" "I just thought I should come and meet you, he says. Doggett can tell there's something else on his mind. "Agent Mulder, I don't think you came all the way here just to say hello. What's really bothering you?" "Nothing." "Look, if this is about Agnet Scully ... she's been through a lot. I just tried to take care of her as best as I could." Mulder is horrified. All his worst fears have been confirmed. Scully is involved with Agent Doggett. He doesn't know what to do so he just turns and runs out. Once he gets to his car, the tears start to fall. Scully is sitting on her couch with tears running down her cheeks. She is brought out of her reverie by a knock on the door. She contemplates ignoring it. "Agent Scully, please open up. I've been worried about you," Skinner says as he knocks again. She slowly gets up and goes and opens the door for her boss. He has been so good to her through this whole thing. He kept her secret. He got Mulder back even when it could have ruined his career. He had the courage to do what was right instead of what was easiest. The worry and concern on his face are only deepened when he sees her. She steps inside. "John Doggett and I have been trying to call you for days now." "I'm sorry. I needed some time to try and sort things out. I turned the ringer off on my phone. I didn't meant to worry you." She then turns and walks back to the couch and sits down. He follows her into the living room. "Are you okay, Agent Scully. I'd like to help if I can." "There's only one person who can really help and he doesn't even seem interested. "I'll take it you mean Agent Mulder." "You got that one right." "Maybe if you tell me what's wrong it might help." "Sir, I appreciate your help, but it's very had for me to talk about." "Look, Agent Scully, Mulder is miserable and so are you. I know you'd both be a lot happier if you were together." "That's all I want. I just want him back. He's missed so much. I want him to be able to share at least part of this little miracle of ours," she says while gently rubbing her belly. "I nned him to be here!" "I think I know Mulder pretty well - not as well as you of course - but maybe if we put our heads together we can figure out how to fix this. It can't hurt to try, can it?" "No ... When he opened his eyes and looked at me in the hospital, I was so happy. I felt like I had my life back again. I was so sure that he was happy to see me again too. He had that special twinkle in his eyes, but ever since then he's been pulling further and further away form me. All he says is that he's having trouble processing all of what's happened." "Agent Scully, it is a pretty incredible story." "I know that, but why does he have to shut me out? Why won't he let me help him? He's the one who usually believes in 'extreme possibilities'. Usually he won't let anyone else but me help him. I just don't understand." "I don't know the answer to that .. How did he react when you told him you were pregnant?" Scully thinks about it for a minute. "Actually, come to think of it, that's when he started distancing himself from me." "I know this seems obvious to you and me, but could he think that you've become involved in another relationship and that the baby ..." She cuts him off. "He couldn't ...could he?" "You know better than anyone how insecure he is. Maybe he's distancing himself from you, so it won't hurt so bad when you tell him that you're involved in a new relationship." "Why didn't he just ask me?" "Scully, you know how he tries to avoid things that he doesn't want to deal with. If it hadn't been for that he would have told you how he felt long before he did but he was too afraid of you rejecting him. He'd rather have you as his friend than not have you at all." "I guess you're right ... Would you excuse me? I have to get dressed. I have to go and see Mulder. We have to talk." As she gets up, Skinner heads towards the door. "Of course. Let me know what happens okay?" "I will. I just have to make him understand - somehow." She opens the door and he steps outside. "Good luck! Don't give up on him, Agent Scully." "Believe me, I won't. If I was going to give up on him, I would have done it long ago." He turns and walks away. She watches him walk down the hall for a minute. Then she goes back inside and closes the door. When she's almost ready, she picks up her cell phone and presses the first speed-dial button. It rings several times before it is picked up. "Mulder." "Hi ... it's me!" "Oh ... hi!" "Mulder, we need to talk." "I'm really busy. I'll call you in a couple of days." "No! This can't wait! We have to talk. Either you come here or I'm coming over to your place." "I'm not at home right now." "I can wait as long as I have to." "Okay, okay. Meet me at the reflecting pool." "I'll be there in an hour," she tells him. "Yeah ... I'll see you then," he answers and then disconnects the line. When she arrives at the reflecting pool at the appointed time, Mulder isn't there yet. She is kind of surprised. Usually he is there waiting for her. But then nothing about this situation is the same, so why should that surprise her. "Scully." She takes a deep breath and turns to look at him. "Hi! ... Come sit down," she says as she pats the spot on the bench beside her. He goes over and sits down, but as far away from her as he can. "I won't bite, I promise!" she says, trying to break the ice. "Look Scully, I think I know what you want to talk about." "I doubt that, but why don't you tell me what you think it's about. "My life has not progressed in the last few months. I am at the exact place I was before I disappeared. You, obviously have moved on. I can't expect anything else. You couldn't wait - not when you didn't even know if I'd ever be found. I understand Scully. I won't stand in your way." "Just how do you come to say 'obviously'?" "Well, look at you. You have a new partner and you're pregnant. Doggett told me that he just tried to take care of you." "You met Agent Doggett?" "Yeah. I went into the bureau one day. He couldn't wait to tell me how he took care of you. That made it all pretty clear." She puts her hand on his shoulders and turns him so he has to look at her. "You said that you are at the same place you were before your abduction. If that's true, then why didn't you trust me? Why didn't you talk to me?" "I guess I was afraid of hearing something I really didn't want to hear." "Mulder," she says sadly. She tries to reach out and touch his face. He jumps up quickly. "I've got to go." She reaches up and grabs his arm, "Mulder, please!" "I can't handle this! I have to go." He turns and runs away. As he runs off, he thinks, Scully sits there bewildered for a few minutes. She gets up and starts towards her car. By the time she gets to the car, she knows what she has to do. She won't let this go. When Mulder arrives home, he quickly goes inside. When he goes into the living room, he sees an envelope, on his desk. He can tell that it's her handwriting. He's actually afraid to open the envelope. With that, he reaches out and picks up the envelope. He pauses for a moment and then tears it open. Inside was a poem, written by her beautiful hand: My heart aches for you so much I've almost forgotten what it's like to touch you I've almost forgotten what it's like to hold the one I love so much I want all these back. My heart becomes filled with your joy when I think of you But at the same time I'm missing you so much. By the time he finishes reading her note, he has tears rolling down his face. When Scully gets to his apartment, she stands outside the door for a minute. She finally decides and lifts her hand and knocks. Mulder hears her, but isn't sure he wants to answer the door. He feels like such an idiot. Scully decides to take things into her own hands. She gets her key and opens the door. As soon as she steps inside she sees him standing over by the window. "Mulder, I wasn't done when you ran off." He forces himself to not turn around. He doesn't want her to see him crying. She notices the envelope that she left for him still on his desk. She assumes that he didn't even open it. "Look Mulder, I'm going to say what I came here to say. You seem to think that I just carried on with my life while you were gone. Nothing could be farther from the truth. The day after you disappeared, I found out that I was pregnant. The doctor's can't seem to explain it, but here I am. I missed you so much while you were gone. I spent all my time trying to find you. I guess I never realized just how much you meant to me until you were gone. I'd have given anything to have you back. You are everything to me!" He's still facing the window, too ashamed to face her. "Mulder, please say something." For the first time since she walked into the apartment, Mulder spoke, "I don't know what to say." She crosses the room and puts her hand on his arm. "Look at me." He slowly turns around and she takes a half step backwards when she sees him crying. Then she notices her note in his hand. She takes him in her arms and hugs him tightly. "I love you, Mulder! No one else! EVER!" More tears fall, and she reaches up and wipes away every one of them. He pulls away and walks over by the couch. "I'm such an idiot! I don't know why you put up with me. Ever since I opened my eyes and saw you there at my bedside, all I wanted to do is take you in my arms and tell you how much I love you." "Well, I'm not going anywhere." She walks over to him and puts her hand on his arm. As soon as she touches him, he pulls her into this arms. He kisses her with all the passion and tenderness that he's feeling deep down inside. "I'm sorry, Scully. I've acted like such a jerk. I love you so much!" "I love you too," and then she starts to cry. He gently rubs his thumb along her cheekbone to wipe the tears away. "What's wrong?" "I was so afraid I had lost you. I couldn't figure out how I was going to go on alone." "Well, you don't have to worry. I don't plant to ever let you find out what that would be like." "Mulder, one more thing." "What?" She takes his hand and places it on her belly. "I want to introduce you to your baby." Right on cue, the baby kicked! Mulder just stood there - with his mouth open, completely in awe. "Smart baby. He/She knows their Daddy." Suddenly Mulder turns away from her. When she moves around in front of him, she sees the tears in his eyes. She puts her arms around him. "What's wrong?" "I've missed so much. I don't deserve any of this." "Mulder, stop it right now. I don't want to hear any of this. You have just as much right to be happy as anyone - maybe even more. Your life has been hell. It is my personal mission to make you happy, whether you like it or not," she jokes. Then she reaches up and kisses him passionately and tries to steer him in the direction of the bedroom. He pulls away momentarily. "Scully, do you really think we should do this?" "Trust me, Mulder. I need to do this. I can't wait anymore!" "I just don't want to hurt you - either of you!" "You won't, Mulder. Just follow my lead, okay?" "You go it." He then picks her up and carries her into the bedroom. He gently lays her down on the bed. She slides across the bed and pulls him down beside her. He doesn't quite seem to know what to do. "It's okay, Mulder. I promise," she tells him. "Listen to the doctor, okay?" "I can't escape the feeling that it's not 'Dr. Scully' who's here right now." She cups his face in her hands, "Mulder what are you so hesitant? Are you just pretending because of the baby? Please don't. I want you in my life, but only if you want to be there." "Scully, don't ever think that! You're all I want and all I need! ... It's just ... well ... I've never been with a pregnant woman before." "Is there a problem?" she asks as she glances to the southern region of his body. "Oh, I don't think so," he says as he takes her hand and places it on his pulsing cock. "What do you think?" "I'd say everything is working just fine." Then she pulls his mouth to hers and kisses him. She is impatient. It has been too long! She wants her tongue in his mouth and she wants his cock inside her. She doesn't think she's ever been so turned on! "Mulder, please!" She then rolls him over onto his back and she straddles him. She wiggles her hips around until she is in the exact right position. Then she gently moves and his erection slips inside her. They both moan. Mulder quickly thursts into her several times before the world explodes around them. This is definitely heaven! There's no denying that! When he is finally able to speak again, he says, "I love you, Scully!" Then he drifts off to sleep. The next thing he is conscious of, Scully is still in his arms, but he can hear music and singing. It sounds like it's right in his ear. Then he realizes that she is singing to him. I can feel the magic floating in the air Being with you gets me that way I watch the sunlight dance across your face And I've never been that swept away All my thoughts just seem to settle on the breeze When I'm laying wrapped up in your arms The whole world just fades away The only thing I hear Is the beating of your heart. Cause I can feel you breathe It's washing over me And suddenly I'm melting into you There's nothing left to prove Baby all we need is just to be Caught up in the touch Slow and steady rush Baby isn't that the way that love's supposed to be. I can feel you breathe In a way I know my heart is waking up As all the walls come tumbling down Closer than I've ever felt before And I know and you know There's no need for words right now. Cause I can feel you breathe It's washing over me And suddenly I'm melting into you There's nothing left to prove Baby all we need is just to be Caught up in the touch Slow and steady rush Baby, isn't that the way that love's supposed to be I can feel you breathe. I can feel the magic floating in the air Being with you gets me that way ... When the song is over, Scully reaches up and gently kisses him. "Sleep, Mulder. I love you." She says as she cuddles down beside him. "Love you too," he says as he drifts back off to sleep. SEVERAL HOURS LATER "Mulder ...Mulder," she says as she gently shakes him. He's tired. He doesn't want to wake up. It's been a long time since he slept this well. He continues fighting waking up, until Scully tells him that she thinks it's time to go to the hospital. In two seconds flat, he is up and out of bed. "Are you okay?" he asks her. "I'm fine, Mulder. Just relax." "Oh my God. I can't believe it," he says as he runs around getting dressed. "Mulder hand me my clothes please." When he hands her her clothes, she gets dressed as well. When they are ready to leave, Mulder goes over to help Scully get up. As soon as she stands up a particularly severe contraction rips through her. She just leans into Mulder and rides it out. Not wanting to mess around anymore, he picks her up and carries her to the car. In the car, on the way to the hospital, Mulder is very quiet. When she has a contraction, he reaches over and holds her hand, but he doesn't say a word. Finally Scully has to ask, "Mulder, what's wrong? You're so quiet!" "It's really not important." "It is to me. This should be a very happy time for us. Something's bothering you. I want to know what it is." "I ... just wondered ... if ... well ... you know ..." "Mulder, don't worry. Us having sex, had nothing to do with this. It was just the right time." "If you're sure ..." "Believe Dr. Scully," she jokes. Suddenly the humor is gone, when another contraction hits. When they arrive at the hospital, Mulder gets a little crazy. He finally calms a little when he sees Dr. Livingston. He doesn't trust doctors easily, but he liked Scully's doctor immediately. She told them that it would probably be several more hours. She advises them to try and rest as much as they can. The next several hours are extremely difficult for Mulder. He has to sit by and watch her go through hell. He hates it! He almost loses it several times, but when he looked into Scully's eyes he knew he had to be strong. He had to be there for her! Finally about midnight, Dr. Livingston finally said it was time to have this baby. They knew it would be a difficult, but at least there was an end in sight. They both needed that desperately. It ends up being a very difficult birth, but when all is said and done, they had an absolutely beautiful baby girl. They name her Kimberlee and Mulder is in absolute awe. He never knew he could love another human being as much as he loves his daughter. He loves Scully with all of his heart, but even that can't compare to how he feels about his child. Finally Scully relaxes. When she sees Mulder look as his daughter, she knows everything is finally going to be okay. THE END