From: ephemeral@ephemeralfic.org
Date: Wed, 9 Feb 2000 23:00:54 -0600
Subject: NEW - I love you, Mom (Post Sein Und Zeit) by Randi
Source: direct

Reply To: danasdds@yahoo.com


Title:   I love you, Mom (Post Sein und Zeit)

Author:  Randi

E-mail:  danasdds@yahoo.com

Web Page:   www.angelfire.com/fl2/thefoxyfiles

Rating:  G
 
Classification:   

Spoilers:   Seven seasons, oh, yes...
                                   
Disclaimer: They are not mine, they are 1013's creation, I just
borrowed them.  But anyway, thanks to Gillian and David for
inspiring me for this one.

Summary:   Mulder's Mom is dead.  Whom shall he trust? 
Where is the truth?  

Enjoy it!  Feedback will be greatly appreciated.  

To Amberleigh and Saliha, thank you for your continuous
support and inspiration.


I love you, Mom
by Randi


"It's me, Mom."


Mrs. Mulder's home, one day before...

"Whoever took my sister. Look at this place, I mean, this,
it's like, it's, it''s all staged. The pills, the oven, the tape --
it's like a bad movie script.   They would, they would've
come here and they would've threatened her. She would be
upset; they would have to sedate her. I would look for a,
uh..."

'No.  I can't.  Don't do this to me.  Don't even dare to ask
me to do this, Mulder.  Don't you see I feel your pain?  I
won't.  I can't.'

"...a needle puncture mark, or, or something else in her
system besides these pills."

'I don't know how, but I find the words.  I don't want to
hurt him more than he is already.'

 "No, Mulder. Please don't ask me to do this."

"Scully, who else can I ask?"

"An autopsy, Mulder? I mean, it's, it's one thing on a
stranger, but you're my friend and she's your mother."

"I know, but if you don't do it, I might never know the
truth."
     
'The truth.  When are we going to learn what is the real
truth?    Don't look for something you don't want to find,
Mulder.  The kids, your Mom, your sister.  What if the kids
are dead? 

'I don't want to do this, but he needs me now.  Whenever he
finds himself lost, he asks me to find the truth for him.  But
as always, it's me who at the end has to tell him the truth he
doesn't want to hear.'


Scully was on her way to Mulder's apartment.  It has been
a hard day.  Teena's autopsy was performed and she found
what she expected.  Apparently, no one killed Teena, at least
that was the evidence she had on hand. 

'What if the kids were all dead?'  She asked this to Mulder
when they were in Idaho.  California.  They just returned
from another trip from California to find that Mulder's Mom
was dead.  

When Skinner asked her to look for Mulder's report in
California, he had no idea what it meant to her.  A different
city, different zip code, but it still was California.  

Emily.  

It has been a few weeks since their last case in California. 
The magicians.  They were misdirected in that case.  What
if Mulder has been misdirected since his childhood?  

California.  

Every time she boarded a plane to California, the memories
of her Emily were there.  She couldn't help it.  Stolen
memories.  Her right to decide whether she wanted to have
a child or not was stolen from her.  

Mulder.

She had performed the autopsy just because he wanted her
to do so.  Who else he can trust?  Who else she could trust
other than him?  

Scully was standing now in front of Mulder's door.  He
wanted her to find the truth for him.  Again.  Again. ...and
again he will keep asking her to find the truth for him.  The
truth that he didn't want to hear.  This time, the real cause
of his Mom's death.  
Mulder's apartment.  Memories of moments when she told
him a truth, he didn't want to hear, that she was quitting the
FBI, that she was leaving him.  She stayed, but she was
taken from him and her memories were stolen once again.

Memories of someone wanting to rip her heart in that same
apartment.  Phillip Padgett.  

If it was difficult for her to tell him that his Mom was dead,
it was incredible difficult to tell him now the truth.  His
Mom killed herself.  

"Glad you're here. My mother was trying to tell me
something. I think I figured it out."  He replayed the
message for her.  "Something about my sister...that she was
never able to tell me."  

'Mulder, stop.  Please, stop.  Don't hurt yourself anymore. 
Don't do this to me.'

"She knew what I'd find with this case out in California."

"How could she know that, Mulder?"  

"A child disappearing without a trace...without evidence in
defiance of all logical explanation. She knew because of
what's driven me. What I've always believed."

"Mulder..." 

"Scully, these, these parents who have lost, who have lost
their children, they've had visions of their sons and
daughters. In scenarios that never happened, but which they
describe in notes that came through as automatic writing,
and words that came through them psychically -- from old
souls protecting the children. My mother must have written
a note like that herself...describing the scenario of my sister's
disappearance, of her abduction by aliens. Don't you see,
Scully? It never happened. All these visions that I've had
have just been, they've been to help me cope, to help me
deal with the loss, but I've been looking for my sister in the
wrong place. That's what my mother was trying to tell me.
That's what she was trying to warn me about. *That's* why
they killed her.

'I don't know how to say this, but he needs to know.  He
needs to know the truth.'

"Your mother killed herself, Mulder. I conducted the
autopsy. She was dying of an incurable disease an
untreatable and horribly disfiguring disease called Padgett's
Carcinoma. She knew it. There were doctors' records.  She
didn't want to live."

Mulder's reaction didn't surprise her.  He had been holding
his emotions since the case began.  

'I told him he was personalizing it.  Every time a little girl is
kidnaped,  the demons of his stolen memories come back to
torture his soul.  He has lost his sister and his father, and
now he thinks the same people who took them away from
him have killed his Mom.  He has nothing left.'

"She was trying to tell me something... She was " 

Mulder starts to cry.  As his mother, he was holding too
many emotions.  Too many lies...  Too many untold truths.

"She was trying to tell you to stop. To stop looking for your
sister. She was just trying to take away your pain."

Scully pulled him to her and hugged him.  They stood there,
crying on each other arms, for a long time.

"Mulder..." she said breaking their embracement.

Mulder looked at her eyes.  He placed his fingers at the
corner of her eyes and wiped out the tears that were still
there.

"I'm sorry, Scully.  It's late.  You must be tired.  Go home,
Scully."

"No, Mulder."  No one in this world was going to stop her
from staying with him this night.  She knew this man pretty
well and she knew he was not going to rest or sleep until he
found the answer.  "I am staying here."

"Scully, it's late.  I know how you feel after you perform an
autopsy.  You need to relax.  Go home, Scully."

"Mulder, this is home."  She smiled at him, while she was
taking off her jacket.  "Want some coffee?  If you don't, I
do."

"Scully, why don't you take a shower?  I'll take the couch
and you can stay in my room."

"No, Mulder.  I don't think any one of us is going to sleep. 
Besides, it is almost six.  I will take a shower later."

They sat on the couch and both of them placed their foot
over the tea table.  She listened to the many stories Mulder
had to tell her about his sister, about his Mom, about his
memories.

When Skinner arrived Mulder was in the bathroom.  It was
Scully who answered the door.  She knew that Skinner was
studying her, he scrutinized her as if she was a piece of
evidence or even a suspect in a murder case.  

"This case is heating up. I've booked two flights for us."

As Mulder turned to get ready for this new trip, Scully
looked back at her boss.

"Well, then, you'd better book three."

Skinner knew that there was no way to make this woman to
change her mind.  She was determined to stay on Mulder's
side no matter what.

"Sir, how much time we have?"

"The flight leaves in two hours."

"We will be ready in twenty minutes, sir." 

Skinner observed his two spooky agents.  She moved to the
bedroom and in a few seconds Mulder was on his way out
of the apartment.  He took a night bag from Scully's car,
then another one from his car.  

When Mulder returned to his bedroom, the door of the
bathroom was opened.  Scully was taking a quick shower. 
He placed the bags in the bathroom.

"Scully, I put there a clean towel.  Your bags are here too. 
I don't think we have enough time to go to your apartment. 
We can stop and buy some clothes for you." 

"That's okay.  Could you do me a favor, Mulder?  Put two
extra T-shirts of yours in my night bag in case we stay."  

Mulder did as he was ordered.  He prepared his things and
took a look at her two bags.  Underwear, bras, toothbrush,
toothpaste, deodorant, cream, Panadol, soap, massage
oil he was reading the label of the small bottle when he saw
Scully on his side.

"Massage oil?"  This man could be in deep pain, but he was
enjoying his partner's reaction.

"Just in case you have an accident, Mulder.  Skinner is
waiting.  Let's go."


Skinner was unable to see them, but he can listen to them
walking and talking softly to each other.  They looked like
an old married couple.  Twenty minutes later, the three of
them left the apartment.


Dulles Airport

"My name is Walter Skinner from the FBI.  My secretary
booked two sits for the next flight.  I need one more."

"Names, sir."

"Skinner, Walter and Mulder, Fox."

In a matter of seconds the three of them were boarding the
plane.  Once again, Skinner observed the two of them. 
Mulder and Skinner's seats were supposed to sit together,
but since Scully wasn't booked at the same time, her
assigned seat was fifteen rows away from Mulder.

"Excuse me."

"Good morning, lady."  The flight attendant smiled at her. 
The crew already knew that there were three FBI agents on
board.

"My name is Dana Scully.  I work with the FBI.  You see
that man over there?  He has been through a big ordeal.  I
am his doctor.  Could it be possible for you to change his
seat next to mine?"  She pointed to the back of the plane.

"No problem.  But I have a better idea, doctor.  There is no
one at first class.  You and your patient will be more
comfortable there."

"Thank you.  Can I ask you a favor, sir?"

"Of course, doctor."

"I know that he won't eat or drink anything during the
flight.  He hasn't slept in the last two days.  Could it be
possible for you to bring me coffee and try to not interrupt
him if he is asleep?  Am I asking too much?"

"That's okay, doctor.  Do you want me to ask the other
agent to move to first class?"

"No, that's okay.  I know Agent Mulder pretty well and if
our boss is around, he won't rest on our way to California." 



From the distance, Skinner observed them.  Scully took care
of everything.  Mulder stood behind her.

"Give me that, Scully.  You are too short."  With a little
hidden smile, she let him place their night bags on the rack
over their seats.

"Mulder, try to relax and have some sleep.  I will wake you
when we arrive.  Okay?"

He nodded.  He knew he couldn't contradict his doctor.  His
friend.

"Scully.  If you are worried about me...  I am worry about
you.  You need some rest.  Let's make a deal.  I sleep if you
sleep."

"Deal."

They looked to each other and with their secret silent
language they made themselves comfortable on their seats. 
She was there.  That was all he needed.  Mulder felt asleep
first.  

Scully thought she was not going to have any rest.  She
knew that Mulder could wake up at any moment with a
nightmare.  Too many demons had returned to his mind.  He
was there for her when she killed Donnie Phaster.  Now was
Mulder's turn to confront his demons again.  He needed her
now, more than ever.  He had no family left.  But he was not
alone.  She was there for him.  Both of them had lost so 
much, but they still had each other.  Once she noticed that
his breath was deep and even, she let herself to rest on his
shoulder.  To hell with Skinner if he was watching them.

As soon as the plane landed, Skinner moved to first class. 
Scully was still asleep on Mulder's shoulder, but Mulder was
awake and studying his partners hands.

"Agent Mulder."

"Sir."

"I will wait for the two of you in the car."

"Thank you, sir."

Mulder looked around and noticed that the plane was
already empty.  They were  the only two passengers left on
the plane.  He turned to Scully, caressed her hair gently, and
spoke softly to her ear.

"Scully, wake up."

"What?"

"We are in California.  Skinner is waiting for us in the car. 
Let's go."

"Give me a second.  I need to go to the restroom."

Once in the small restroom, Scully pulled her cell phone and
made a call.

"Mom, it's me."

"Dana!!!  What a surprise!"

"Mom, I can't be on the phone too long.  I just arrive to
California..."

"Is everything okay, Dana?"

"Mom, I'm fine.  We are working on a case on a missing
little girl.  I...I just wanted to call you..."

"Dana, are you sure everything is okay?  Is there any
problem with Fox?"

"No, Mom.  Everything is fine.  I know I have been busy
lately and I haven't taken some time to call you or be with
you.  That's all."

"Dana..."

"Mom, I just...I just wanted to call you and tell you that I
love you.  I love you, Mom."


FIN