From: ephemeral@ephemeralfic.org Date: Sun, 30 Jul 2000 13:09:21 -0500 Subject: I Wanna Be With You: Perplexity by Tigger Source: direct Reply To: scullymulder60@hotmail.com I Want to Be With You: Perplexity Author:Tigger E-Mail Address: scullymulder60@hotmail.com Rating:PG Category:S, R Spoilers:None Keywords:Mulder/Scully Relationship Summary:After Mulder is injured during a rutine investigation Scully does some soul searching and looks for help with some unresolved feelings (about Mulder). She finds this in a place that she least expects it. Disclaimer:I do not own The X-Files or any or the characters/actors. Warehouse Rockville, MD January 3, 2000 10:13 AM "Mulder, I'm scared." Those were the first words that came tumbling out of Scully's mouth when she realized what was going on around her. She knew it wasn't suppose to happen this way, not here and not now. They were in an old deserted warehouse, and had been divided from the others. It was just a typical search for smuggled drugs but it had taken a turn for the worse. She could see no one now but in a way she felt as if they were in the middle of a crowd. Scully suddenly turned her head when she heard a strange and distant sound that was only know to her. When she turned around a man was holding an odd looking gun staright at her. At that moment in time everything seemed to stand still all around her, the air was still as well but the danger that was present in the room no longer seemed to be a threat. The fact that her life, not to mention her partner's life was in danger seemed not to phase her. She drew her gun with such grace and speed that it seemed that she wasn't even in control of herself anymore. She then focused the gun on the gunman but nothing happened. The word gun rang in her head for that seemed an eternity but she didn't act on it. When she was a young and attended Quantico she was trained to yell gun when she saw a threat with a gun. But now is seem that all she could do was dive to the cold floor to get out of harms way. With her gun still aimed at the gunman she was brought back to reality when a thud suddenly broke through the deafening silence. Instantly she knew what that sound was, it was Mulder. His body had just hit the cold, dust covered floor. Scully suddenly emptyed an entire round into that piece of garbage that shot her partner. Scully just hovered over Mulder in a protective manner and tried to shield him from a danger that no longer existed. Yet she did not shed a tear in fear that Mulder would find out her weakness. She was scared for Mulder's life but what terrified her even more was the fact that Mulder would find out that she was scared more than she had ever been scared in her life. Shady Grove Hospital Bethesda, MD January 4, 2000 1:26 AM As Scully sat in the hard chair in the cold and gloomy hospital she waited. She waited for the news that could either relieve her of hours of endless suffering or make the harsh reality come crashing down on her. She had been in this area too many times in the past seven years. It had either been her in those drab rooms or someone she cared for deeply. Finaly, she made it into Mulder's hospital room. Luckily Mulder wasn't in too bad of shape. Although he had taken a bullet to the shoulder but any condition other than perfect wasn't good enough for Scully. Scully approached Mulder in a carful manner and asked the question that had dwelled in her head for hours. "Mulder, are you okay?" "Yeah, it just kinda hurts." Mulder replied while trying to get up. "No" Scully continued,"Don't try to get up. Relax." She layed a hand on Mulder's good shoulder and gently pushed him down. "Well, I wanted to tell you..." She hesitated with a gulp. "I'm sorry. I mean I wasn't a good agent. I let you down and..." "No, no! You're one of the best agent I've seen and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. And just because of one stupid incidents you are making yourself out to be some kind of...some kind of" Scully jutted in, "Monter, freak, creep." "Yeah. But I wouldn't go that far. You certainly don't look like one. I mean you're not ugly, actually you're kinda cute, if you don't mind me saying so." Mulder rushed these last lines out in fear that he might never get the express the true feelings that were burried deep within his soul. At lease this was a hint he could give. "Thanks" Scully replied while looking at the ground in a shy manner. Scully broke the silence with something that she needed to tell Mulder. "I just wanted to tell you that I don't think that I'm perfect and I was scared that day. I know that I don't tell you this very often but I actually felt kinda freaked out. And I was the most scared for you." As She said this her pride drained out of her like the water out of a popped water balloon. "I know what you mean." He replied with empathy and she just walked out with a solem look on her face. If was then the questions soared through her head. Questions that she never even thought of suddlenly popped into her head. What if she shot that creep before he hurt Mulder? Or what if she had pushed Mulder out of harm's way and saved him from any pain? These questions were too hard on her and the confusion was unbearable. She needed some kind of releif from this ongoing stress. She was like a shaken can of soda, the confusion and guilt were building up inside of her and she was about to burst. Regression Hypnosis Center District of Columbia January 7, 2000 12:01 P.M She now stood in a room that mulder had stood in some time ago. Even though she didn't agree with the unorthodox practices of regression hypnosis, she had turned to this for help. There was an elderly man siting at a desk as she entered the calming room. "So, Dana you know Fox." The Docotor said. "Yeah, actually You could say I need a little helo figuring out our relationship." This was rushed out of Dana's mouth. "Oh, I actually heard what happened a couple days ago. Why don't you tell me about it." She told the who tangled tale and tehn they talked a bit. "As you know I am an FBI Agent and a ver professional one at that. Well I like to think that I am. Latley I have been carrying an amount of ever-growing guilt. I think that this is caused by my actions last weekk and endangering my partner's life. I know that that's a part of our job but I feel that I was somewhat responsible for this whole mess!" She started to weep while telling this woeful tale, "I don't know what to do, who to trust, or if I can even trust my self anymore. I believed that by coming here and admiting all my problems I'd fell better." "Well, do you?" The doctor cut in. "Yeah a little. Stull I am desperate for some advice about it." "What kind of advice?" "Well I want to know is there anything wrong with what I did, and how come I feel so responsible. I feel as if I am protecting my child or brother from a bully of some sort. Stull I don't know if it's wrong to have these feelings?" "No of course not, you two have trusted each other with your lives and in order for this you must have a very close relationship." The docotor advised. "Thank you." Scully said as she walked out of the room. I95 Maryland January 7, 2000 6:41 P.M As Scully drove along in her car she knew what she had to do, and she had to do it now. She drove on the highway and straight to Mulder's house without thinking of petty details. She had to do this before she backed out and it was too late. Mulder's Apartment District of Columbia January 7, 2000 7:33 P.M As Scully knocked on the door she got ready for what lay ahead. Mulder showed up at the door and asked her to come in and so she did. "Mulder, I need to tell you something and I don't want you to interrupt me." "Okay." "Last week in that warehouse I know that I endangered your life and I wanted to say that I'm really sorry. Still, I feel guilty after everyone telling me it wasn't my fault and that I should get over it. I think that I have this guilt because i didn't just let a person down," she paused,"I let down someone I love. You are the center of my life Mulder, adn I feel that if you know this you might find someway to forgive me. We have lost a lot of people together, my dad, your dad and mom, and so on. When I saw you lying on the floor bleeding I wasn sure that I was going to loose another person." She began to cry. "I just wanted to know if you feel the same way too?" Mulder took a second to situate himself and then proceeded. "Well yeah, I kinda thought you knew. I've always loved you." Scully raised her head and the two looked lovingly at each other with deep admirable gazes. Mulder looked into Scully's eyes and it seemed to look straight into her soul. As the two embraced eachother in a hug Scully began to get misty. "I was afraid I was going to loose you Mulder. I couldn't deal with it. Because I love you." She finaly admitied it. Mulder drew in for a kiss. As their lips touched a shot of energy shot through Scully. As they drew back a sense of reliefe went through them. Now it was out in the open. The only question was what to do about their new found love. "I love you Mulder." Scully said with love in her eyes. "I love you too Dana." Mulder answered back. "Mulder my name is Dana. Call me Dana. Please." Scully requested. "I love you Dana. I've always loved you." He admited as me became chocked up. The two just stood there in Mulder's apartment for minutes enjoying their new love. E-Mail me @ scullymulder60@hotmail.com. If you would like to see a sequal please e-mail me. Find my work at www.extremepages.com.