From: Chris Teena Date: 30 Jan 1999 15:36:50 -0800 Subject: I Would Not Stop for You (1/1) TITLE: I Would Not Stop for You (1/1) AUTHOR: Chris Teena EMAIL ADDRESS: ChrisTeena1@hotmail.com *all* feedback welcomed =-) DISTRIBUTION: Do as you wish. Just keep all info and disclaimers with it. SPOILERS: Tithonus RATING: PG-13 at most I think CLASSIFICATION: V SUMMARY: An unseen character's thoughts before and during the shooting scene. DISCLAIMER: I don't own 'em. I'm just borrowing 'em. Ah, my old friend, you always did amuse me. What is the name you go by now? Ah, yes, I remember. Alfred Fellig was your best friend in boyhood and you've assumed his name. I doubt you even remember him, you bastard. His name is probably a vague echo to you. You spend so much time looking for me. For most of your life you've done nothing *but* look for me. Yet, you don't even know I'm here, watching and silently laughing as you lie to Dana Scully, another old friend of mine. Love lasts only 75 years? If your lucky, my friend, it lasts *much* longer. I've seen it last through eternity. Not everyone murders love like you did. You were married to a saint, but even she couldn't love you in the end, could she? I remember when I craved you. You were so full of life and the love of life. You drew people to you like the flame draws the moth. You also drew me to you, but I could never take you. He wouldn't let me. It wasn't yet time for you to leave. I remember how your life glowed from you on the day you meet Melissa (You can't remember her name, you prick? How like you.). You two were actual soulmates that found one another; You both had waited to meet one another instead of rushing into marriage out of fear of being alone like most people do. I remember when life started to seep out of you. I stood there in amazement and amusement when you put a bullet into your good friend Alfred on a duelling field. I gladly claimed him even as I mourned for you and him. Your jealousy of his friendship with Melissa surprised me--even I could see the only common link between them was a deep love of you. Your friend Alfred didn't even like women, not that he could admit that to you or even himself during that era. Melissa tried to forgive you. She loved you so much. You wouldn't let her, though. You hated her and yourself for what you had done. The image of Alfred reaching for you as he died wouldn't leave you would it? Remember how you just stood there offering him none of the comfort he asked for, coldly watched as I took him? You turned to alcohol--Death in a bottle, I call it. Numbness and I have a lot in common. People ran from you instead of towards you as bitterness and hate ate the life out of you. You forgot compassion and love. I seldom came around you after you changed; What did you have that I wanted? Some life, but so little it was laughable. Other flames were brighter and I sought their warmth. Then you died. I was so busy during the yellow fever epidemics in the 1790s and we were such old friends back then that I let you see me take some of the others. You had had a "long" life even if you had only lived in the first 25 years of it. I made the mistake of thinking you were ready to go. After all, you had no joy and no love for which to live. Then you lost all of your humanity. When I came for you, you closed your eyes and prayed that the only person who had showed you compassion in more than thirty years would die instead of you. You had *nothing* that I wanted any more so I took her who was so full of what I crave two weeks early and left you alone. You started really looking for me in the middle of the next century. You'd realized that you felt nothing but contempt for your fellow human beings and that even knowledge no longer interested you. I wouldn't even let you catch a glimpse of me. You were among the few walking dead and I had no reason to stop for you. When you started snapping the pictures in the 1920s, I laughed. Did you really think I could be captured on film? When you murdered two people in desperation, I laughed even harder. Technology was changing so fast that you lost what little connection you may have had with humankind in your mind. Your desperation was amusing, but did you really think I would take your cold soul when I could have two warm ones? Dana, dear, we are old friends, too. I wish you didn't feel such fear at my coming, but, then again, your desperate need for life fills me with a wonderful feeling. Yes, Dana, I know you want to live now, even more than you did when you fought the cancer that was eating your body. You have found a renewal in purpose. Your compassion and love will be enjoyed. I've always admired your courage as I watched your life from the sidelines. You were a bright flame. With your death, I'll soon be receiving two more souls. Your mother and Mulder are two more souls full of compassion that I will enjoy taking. Ah, Ritter, don't feel so bad. It was her time to go; You are an unfortunate pawn in a larger game. Your suspect will live and your partner will die. I doubt that will be good for your career, but it cannot be helped. Yes, Ritter, why don't you go get help? That way you won't have to what as her life seeps from her into me. Ah, Fellig, taking pictures even in pain. Dana was right you know. That wasn't me in that picture and you do show a contemptible lack of compassion for your fellow human beings. I was made to take their lives, but I still mourn their loss. Life is a gift and you wasted yours by not living. What's this? Your *not* going to take the picture? Your reaching out your hand to offer her, one of the dying, comfort? I feel a seed of compassion come alive in you. Fellig, you always have amazed me. Finally, you understand a little. I hear you tell her not to look, still thinking that closing your eyes "saved" you so long ago. In some ways, your compassion is selfish, but it *is* compassion. Dana, I'll come back for you later. After all, you will never become him. You will always love and always feel compassion. You'll not allow your flame to go out. I'll have to take him now just in case he looses that little speck of life again. Fellig, my old friend, its time to look me in the face. Your life is mine.