From: DiLisky@ix.netcom.com Date sent: Mon, 16 Jun 1997 11:34:35 -0700 Title: I Wouldn't Change a Thing (or The Note) Author: Kristyn Collins Rating: R (for bad language) Classification: VA Spoilers: Gethsemene Summary: Scully is so angry at Mulder for killing himself, she begins to rip up his office. Then she finds something addressed to her on his computer. DISCLAMER: USUAL STUFF. I AM NOT CC OR 10-13 OR FOX ENTERTAINEMENT. THE CHARACTERS ARE NOT USED BY PERMISSION. AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is not really a M/S romance. (Since, afterall, Mulder isn't really in it). There could be a romance implied or just the deep waters of thier friendship, depending on how you look at it. It's appreciate any feedback. DiLisky@ix.netcom.com or Danaphile@aol.com. Also, this is a kick-ass Scully story. Don't be alarmed. She's fiesty. She has all that drive in her, I know it. If you don't like sappy stories, bale out NOW. I Wouldn't Change a Thing By Kristyn Collins Scully exited the stairwell and pounded her way down the hall. She was so pissed she thought she'd burst. So Fox Mulder was dead. Yeah, right. He was stronger than that. She knew him too well. He was dead, bull shit. He was not dead! The fucking bastard has ditched her again, leaving her with nothing but his damn office and the x-files! She threw open the door to the hot, smelly downstairs office. She'd never noticed before, but no one seemed to have dusted this room in a long time. The first thing she did when she got into his office was throw the little sign on his desk that said "Fox Mulder" down on the ground and stomp on it. It didn't break, but she made a nice little scratch. She went over to that wall with that damn "I want to believe" poster on it. She had to look at that stupid poster everyday she was in this office. No more. Scully tore it down ripping it up into little shreds. , she thought, disgusted. Ever since telling those old bastards about the fake alien, she'd been in some mood. Two days ago, Skinner had informed her that since Mulder was dead, the x-files project was shutting down. He'd then very solemnly asked her to pack her partners things, because he didn't want to subject Mrs. Mulder to more pain. Scully had agreed, but she had no intention of just packing everything. Oh, no, she was gonna screw everything up first. Then Dana spied the computer on his desk. she said to herself. As she turned on the computer, she thought, But she answered herself too, She supposed her anger was her way of dealing with the grief that her partner, if he was dead, wasn't coming back ever. And the fact that if he *had* faked his own death and never told her, he wouldn't be coming to see her in a while. She typed in his password. TRUSTNO1. The computer clicked over to the hard drive. She began trashing some important files when she noticed something in a folder labeled, "Personal Thoughts." It was labeled To Dana. "Well, it is addressed to me, so I guess I can open it." She mumbled out loud. But something made her hesitate. Perhaps it was the use of her first name. It seemed to intimate for him to use her first name. Also, the date said the file had been created right after she was diagnosed with cancer. That was odd, she thought. He's been saving it for half a year, and never even bothered to tell me. She doubled clicked and up popped the note. It was a short note, but the meaning was clear. She almost choked when she read it. It said: Dear Dana, If you are reading this, then for some reason you are in my hard drive, and I have probably died, or been injured, or have decided to give you this letter. It means a lot to me, Scully, that you read all of it. Right now, you are suffering. I don't know when, or if , you will get better. But if you do, I have promised myself that at some point I will tell you exactly how I feel about you. Over the past year, I have come to trust you like no other. It scares me, because everyone else I have ever trusted has been taken away from me. I just needed to let you know that having you for a partner has been the best thing that has ever happened to me. I wouldn't change a thing, Scully. Not flukeman, not the bugs, not anything. Except Duane Barry. I would have shot the bastard when he was holding me hostage if I knew that he would take you and that you would still be suffering from him three years after. But the reason I wouldn't change a thing is that everyday you were at my side. Every time I needed you, you were there. I have just come to realize how strong you are, and how much I need you even though you don't need me. I needed to tell you, because I wasn't sure if you ever knew. Dana, you are the best friend I have ever had. The only person still alive that I trust with my life. And I love you, Dana. I love you. Fox Mulder Dana Scully finished the letter and printed it out. She took the piece of paper and folded it into quarters. Then she pressed it to her heart. she thought. A tear rolled down her cheek. Even if he had left her, she could never be in doubt about how he felt about her. And though she would have to wait a long time to see him again, be it alive or on the other side, she would always know that the four and a half years that she spent with Fox Mulder were not in vain, and she was comforted by this thought. She had been afraid that when he shot himself or run off, he had forgotten all about her. But this note showed that her fears were unfounded. He had never forgotten. She wiped at the tear, but there were more following it, so she just let them come. She tucked the note in her pocket, and began to pick up the mess she made.