From: Corrin Date: Mon, 05 Oct 1998 09:56:00 -0400 Subject: NEW "Ill-bred: Eyes of God" by Corrin (1/1) ------------------------------------------------------ Ill-bred: Eyes of God By Corrin Rating: PG Spoilers: A bunch of Ascension, and several very oblique bits regarding One Breath. This takes place in the "interim". Disclaimer: Oh, are they *ever* not mine- A companion to Ill-bred, (which I've re-titled "Ill-bred: Again" now that it's a series!) Special thanks to all those wonderful people who dropped me a note to tell me that they liked the first one. You have no idea how much that has meant to me. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The day I return I don't go to her room at first. I can't. Not after everything. I had been messier than I planned; I had been unsuccessful to my own over-trained mind. I thought he had, perhaps, sniffed me out. We always know each other. It's part of the deal. He might not have known what it was about me that made his cells resonate when I was near, but he would be on edge nonetheless. Hello, you. I know you. Hello, Mulder. I love you. I think this as I lay in my cell. I think love, and wisdom, and that vibration of recognition that makes it feasible to continue. I look up, and see her there, a child who I've grown past in those short months. A child, livid with the emotions of betrayal. "What is *she* doing here," Sam says in a breath, and her eyes are dry as a brushfire. "You already know the answer to that." She throws something hard at my head. I'm sure she meant to miss, meant to shatter the glass against the curving grey walls of the hull. It all takes a moment to register, a moment to feel the tiny shards in my face, in my arms. I dare to blink, and sigh in relief when there are none in my eyes. "Don't lose your temper, Samantha. It's hardly becoming." "You aren't my father. Don't try to sound like him." I stand up then, crossing the room in one fluid motion to grab her, ignoring the tiny droplets of blood which flow from the slices in my arms. "No, I'm not. And you should thank your lucky stars for that. Look what he's done. Look what he's doing to her." She shoves away from me, and my blood smears on her palms. "*You're* the one who did it. I saw it all. I know what happened. You did it. You-" she stops, and the tears at last fall on her cheeks. She raises her hands to her eyes to try and hide it, and draws long bloodstained marks down her face. War paint, I think. "I?" "You. You told them she was a problem. You stopped that tram. You killed-" she hesitates for a moment, and her eyes grow wide in horror. "Oh God, Alex. " "Who showed you? Who told you?" I glare suspiciously at her, but she turns away. Her laugh, amazingly, is bitter. Her, bitter! "I see it all, Alex. You know that. I'm the eyes of God." It was the game we played as children, when we stood before the monitors, and watched the people. We saw everything, and they saw nothing. "Shut up, and tell me." She turns towards me, and smiles softly. She lifts her arms, as if to embrace the room, and she is bleeding my blood from her palms, from her eyes. "I didn't need to be told, Alex. I can see your face. I can see your eyes. I love you, and I can see your hate." I say nothing in this moment, because there is nothing to say. I had failed, but it was not Them. I failed her. "I see it all, Alex. I am the eyes of God." "Stop saying that. You're crazy. Being here, just here, watching- it's making you insane." "Like it's made you?" "I'm not-" "That's right my love, killing him would be a sane action." I shove her and she flies against the hull, and cries like the child she is. "Shut up, shut up!" I scream. "I didn't kill anyone. You want killing, you want death, go talk to your *father*." "Maybe I will," she whispers, still looking away. "And you can trust that when I do, I will fix things." I snort. "You don't have the slightest conception of what is really going on there, do you?" She turns and faces me, and her face is a mask of blood and hatred. "Neither do you. You went there. You tell me what you saw." "I saw people crawling around on the surface like so many ants." Sam is silent, and I take that as my cue to continue. "They have no idea what's happening." "He does." "They are unhappy and ignorant." "Tell me about *him*." "They have no idea how little is protecting them from utter annihilation." "That's not what I want to hear." "It's what you need to hear, Sam. It's what you need." "What I need?" she gasps. "What I need is to understand why you could take her, why you could do that to him! We're supposed to be on the same side!" She holds her hand in front of my face and all I can see are my bloodstains. "This blood on my hands? It is your blood, Alex, yours. But the blood you tried to spill today- that blood belongs to me." I know, Sam. I know. I love him for it. I love him for all I see of you in his face. "It was a sacrifice that had to be made. You know that." I repeat the mantra we had been given since our earliest memories. "If he dies, it will be for the good of all of us." She closes her eyes for a moment, and I wonder what strength she is drawing from to argue with that conditioning. "We were not made to be sacrificed, Alex. We were not made to be destroyed by the ignorance of mere men." Her words mean nothing if they are arbitrary terms. "'Mere men' like your 'father'?" She shrugs. The balance has changed. She has a plan. A momentary fear flashes into my mind. The world has grown so much for me in the last few months; a few more surprises shouldn't floor me. I wonder if her Lessons have been different than mine. "Sam, what are you-" "You failed, Alex. You failed us. They know now where you stand and can use you for it. Your allegiance should have been to your own kind." "These are merely words, Sam. You aren't fooling anyone. I know you don't believe them." "I do." "You lie!" I scream at her strange, calm eyes. He has those eyes, too, I think. "If you believed that you would kill her to save him." My words are merely bait. She could never kill anyone. "What do you mean?" "They aren't keeping her. She is merely a tool to keep him in line. And they plan to use her." She nods. "As they use me." She turns to leave, but stops at the door. "Goodbye, Alex." Concession of stalemate? "Sam." "Yes, my love?" "You can't stop Them." "I know," she says, and she believes it. "I have always known that. But neither can They stop us." I open my mouth to speak, but cannot voice the fears she has shaped in my mind. She'll go against them to spite me, to show me it can be done without death. "What do you have planned, Sam?" She always watches, but she has never before attempted to act. Why now? What is it about this woman that moves her so? I won't admit that I know the answer. She still loves him more than me. Which is fine. "I thought for once I'd try to be God's Hands. I owe them that, at least." "You owe them nothing. You are the only free person left." Her soft smile again. "Then it is time for me to owe." End ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Get it? Please tell me at corrinblue@yahoo.com