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  This author's e-mail address has changed to: xanaduxf@yahoo.com
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***DISCLAIMER***: All "X-Files" elements and references
in this story belong to Fox Broadcasting, Chris Carter,
and 1013 Productions, and I am making no money from it.

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I'm Nobody's Prince Charming
by shannono
shannono@iname.com


Vignette, Angst, Mulder first person, Mulder/Scully UST

Rated PG

Spoilers for "The X-Files: Fight the Future"

Summary: Mulder muses on his quest, and Scully.

Thanks: To Catwoman, for okaying this one. <g>

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I'm Nobody's Prince Charming
by shannono


One cool fall day, when I was about 10 years old, Sam brought
me one of her storybooks and asked me to read her the story of
Sleeping Beauty. Being the *wonderful* big brother I was, I
teased her about it, but then I gave in and settled into Dad's
big recliner, Sam's tiny body nestled against me, to read her
the book's simplified version of the story. How Sleeping
Beauty was cursed, through no fault of her own, to sleep for
a hundred years, until her Prince Charming came and awakened
her with a kiss.

As I read, my arm wrapped around Sam while I offered varied
voices for the different characters, my mind drifted to
another version of the story I'd just read. In this one, the
ending was not all happiness and love, as her book and Walt
Disney portrayed it.

In the end of this story, while the Prince does awaken the
sleeping princess, he does not win her heart. This despite
his courage, and his bravery, in fighting his way through a
dense forest in search of a legend, the basis of a story he'd
only heard about.

Some days I feel like that Prince Charming.

The connections are obvious. I spend my days searching,
probing, looking for something intangible, something I've
heard about and possibly even caught glimpses of from time to
time.

For that prince, it was his princess. For me, it's always been
"the truth."

How ironic that they are becoming one and the same.

My "truth" is at home now, enjoying a last few days off before
returning to work. I sit alone, in the dark, as per usual,
staring at the wall across from me.

Hmmm. Could use a coat of paint ...

Another corollary: In the darker version of that fairy tale,
the prince is not quite a fine, upstanding member of the
community. In fact, he's a bit of an outcast, looked down on
by the other young men.

Well, not to his face, of course. He is a prince, after all,
and could probably have his detractors arrested if he was so
inclined.

But the prince isn't that kind of person. Sure, he's had his
problems from time to time -- fights, run-ins with various
authority figures, a bad romance or two. He's no saint, but he
is -- deep down -- a good guy. Honest. Loyal. And, as I've
said, brave enough to risk his life on a legend, out of simple
curiosity.

No, he didn't do it for the glory. He did it just because he
needed to know if it was true.

Cuts close to home.

The idea of "getting the girl" was secondary to the prince. He
thought about the possibility, in the back of his mind; a
reward for the success of his mission. But his main focus was
always the quest.

So was mine.

Until about three weeks ago, when a minute in the hall changed
two lives.

Forever.

I don't know whether that brief brush of lips would qualify
for the fairy tale's "wake-up" kiss. But it sure woke me up.
Woke me up to a world of possibilities I'd kept sublimated so
long that it was physically painful when they rushed to the
surface.

The tight jeans didn't help, either.

The first thing I did, of course, was shove the whole thing
back of my mind. I can't think about it. I won't let myself.

I live for my quest. Not for her.

Shit. I don't even believe my lies to myself any more.

But I still can't let myself think about it. I want to, God,
I want to. But I know I'm just setting myself up again if I
do. It'll never happen, not to me. My luck doesn't run that
way.

Sure, I could hope for the fairy tale ending, where I get the
truth, and the girl.

But I know better.

I'm nobody's Prince Charming.