Date: 24 Dec 1998 21:54:42 -0800
Subject: In the Dead of Night -- by Humbuggie 1/5 PG


In the dead of night
by Humbuggie
san@net4all.be
  1998

Situation :  This story takes place some time after the movie, with
specific references to "the kiss".

Spoilers : Demons, Detour, The Movie, TFWID and many minor spoilers to
other episodes. 

Type : X-File, M/S UST, lots of Skinner, PG for some graphic language. 

Story : A stakeout ends up in a disaster when Mulder gets infected with a
mysterious disease. While he struggles through the different stages,
Scully and Skinner are forced to watch their friend fight off the darkness
and the nightmares he encounters. 

Archive : Go ahead, just let me know. 

Disclaimer : Do I need to remind you that our beloved FBI-duo are not mine
?  They belong to CC. 


In the dead of night

          Two shots rang out in the dead of night. 

          "Oh god."  She crawled from behind the car with the flat tires,
and pointed her gun in the air, aiming at nothing or no one.  "Mulder? 
Mulder!" 

          He didn't respond to her cries.  Her knees were bleeding, as
were her elbows from the fall on the concrete parking lot.  She hesitated
for a few moments.  If she left her safe haven now, she would become as
vulnerable as Mulder out there in the open.  But she couldn't stay here,
not knowing whether he was the one shooting, or the one getting shot. 

          "Damn it," she whispered and started running towards the open
field.  Why hadn't he listened to her?  Stubborn, hard-headed, and now --
dead, hurt? 

          The thing attacking them was gone.  She didn't know what it was. 
She didn't really want to know.

        "Mulder?"  She had now covered the open area and ran into the
forest.  The rain was dripping on her clothes and hair.  She hated this
kind of weather.  Cold, wet, easy-to-catch-the-flu-type of weather. Her
partner still did not respond to her.  S he couldn't find him.

          She grabbed her cell phone and dialed his number.  Nearby, his
mobile phone started ringing.  She followed the sound of the phone. 
Suddenly, she nearly tripped over him.  His body lay at her feet.  He was
face down, one hand underneath him, the
 other one above his head.  His gun had dropped and lay a few inches from
his right hand. 

          "Mulder," she said breathlessly as her hand touched his throat. 

          She felt a faint pulse.  He moaned as she explored his body,
looking for wounds.  Slowly but carefully she turned him and held her
breath.  Her hand became covered with blood as she touched his left
shoulder. The same shoulder again that always seemed to get hurt.  The
bullet was still inside it, she noticed as she pulled away the clothing. 
The second shot seemed to have grazed his hand slightly cause this was
bleeding as well. 

          "Mulder, can you hear me?"  She touched his face and wet hair. 
Already he was running a fever.  She remembered him having a cold before
they started their pursuit of the suspect.  Lying here on the wet grass
didn't help things.  What else could
 it be ? 

	He opened his eyes.  The pupils didn't seem to be able to focus at
first, until he saw her.  With his right hand he reached out and touched
her face.  "Scully." 

          She smiled faintly and said :"Yeah, it's me.  What happened?" 

          His voice seemed to die away as he said, "I dunno.  All of a
sudden I heard something and ... I dunno." 

	"It's okay, Mulder.  Don't try to talk.  I'll get you out of here. 
Can you get up?" 

	She supported him as he tried to get up from his uncomfortable
position.  He groaned again as she accidentally touched his shoulder and
hand.  He was bleeding badly. 

	"Sit down here," she said, settling him gently against a tree.  He
did what she said, with his head resting against the tree.  He was
breathing heavily, as if he could hardly catch his breath. 

	"You"re bleeding badly, Mulder.  I need to stop the bleeding." 
Her hands professionally started to remove the clothing, tearing the
shoulder and arm of his shirt.  He bit his lip, controlling the pain.  She
held her breath again as she saw the wound. 


	"Listen to me," she said.  "I need to get you to the car, to
bandage you there.  I need the first aid kit from the car, or I cannot
stop the bleeding." 

          "I can't make it, Scully," he whispered. 

     	"Yes you can." 

	"No, listen to me."  His right hand firmly gripped her shoulder as
he forced her to look at him. "You need to get out of here, and get some
help.  I'm only going to hold you back.  He might still be here, waiting
for you.  He used my own gun to shoot me.  " 

	"I'm not leaving you," she said determined.  "As soon as we're in
the car, you'll be fine.  I'll get you to the hospital and you'll be fine,
okay?" 

	"Okay." 

	"Now get up and help me out here.  I can't carry you, Mulder.  You
have to work with me." 

	She supported him until he was up on his feet, then he leaned
heavily on her.  She picked up his gun and tucked it between her belt and
her shirt.  With her right hand she carried her own gun, ready to fire at
whoever was out there.  Step by step they wo rked their way to the open
field.  About 200 yards further the car was waiting for them. 

	"Come on, Mulder."  His breathing became heavier as he leaned more
upon her.  She could feel the strength leaving his body, as if he could no
longer go on.  Mulder, stay with me!"  Her hand touched his face. 

	Confused he opened his eyes and looked at her.  "I'm here, I'm
here." 


	Crossing the field seemed to take forever.  She did not understand
why their attacker(s) didn't attack them here.  This would have been the
most perfect opportunity to get rid of them. Minutes later they reached
the car.  She opened the backdoor and gently put him down on the seat.  As
soon as she loosened her grip on him, his head fell backwards, and his
body relaxed until he lost consciousness. 
 
	"Damn it!" she said as she touched his throat again. 

	He was running a high fever now.  Even in the warm car, he was
shivering and on the verge of convulsions.  Quickly she grabbed the first
aid kit, and bandaged the wound on his shoulder.  She knew the bullet had
to be removed as soon as possible, and her
 partner needed to be hospitalized.  But she was in the middle of nowhere,
at least 10 miles from the nearest town.  Why the hell had they ever come
here on their own?

	As the bleeding on his shoulder stopped, Scully examined his hand. 
Then she saw it.  The wound was not from a bullet.  Someone had injected
him there, tearing the flesh badly in the process.  She could only imagine
how the syringe had been handled when the fluid was injected.  Carefully
she touched his hand.  She knew what this was.  She'd se en it once before
in the file they were now pursuing.

	"Jesus," she said out loud.  Then immediately she grabbed her cell
phone and dialed 911. 

	"This is the 911 operator. What is the nature of your emergency?" 

	"This is Special Agent Scully with the FBI.  I have a medical
emergency." 

	"What is the problem?" the woman on the other line asked. 

	"My partner has been shot.  He"s running a high fever, apparently
from being poisoned.  You need to contact Dr. Walter Gellar in Washington
D.C.  Tell him Agent Mulder has been exposed to the Deming-virus." 

	"Where are you, agent Scully?" 

	"We're about 10 miles from the Arquette Camp Site.  I cannot come
to the hospital myself.  The tires of our car are flat.  We walked into
some sort of ambush.  The suspect planted spikes on the parking lot, but
I've gotten rid of them now."  She wondere d why she even bothered to
explain all of this on the phone. 

	"We'll have an ambulance there in a couple of minutes," the 911
operator said. 

	"You need to notify the local police department as well.  Tell
them that Jerry Campbell is here.  He needs to be found.  He's carrying
the Deming-virus as well." 

	"Copy that, Agent Scully." 

	Scully hung up the phone and turned towards her partner.  His
unconscious body was still lying in the same spot.  She bent over him,
touching his hair.  "Mulder, wake up.  C'mon Mulder, you have to wake up." 

	Mulder didn't hear her.  He was struggling to awake, but he
couldn't resist the darkness he was in.  Through the fog he heard her
voice.

	"Mulder, wake up.  C'mon Mulder, you have to wake up." 

	He reached for her with his good hand.  He felt like shit. 
Something was definitely wrong.  He had been shot before, but had never
felt like this.  Something seemed to take over his senses that kept him
alive.  His brain was none too functional.  His sy stem seemed to be
paralyzed. 

	"I'm here, Mulder."  Her cold fingers grabbed his feverish hand. 

	He opened his eyes and blinked until the blur that was her became
an actual person.  "Scully ... thirsty." 

	She had laid him in the back of the car and his head was lying in
her lap.  He looked at her.  The concern was in her eyes, as much as in
her hands as she made him drink. 

	"Mulder, you have to listen to me," she said as her grip on his
hands became more firm.  "Did Campbell attack you ?  Can you remember who
shot you?" 

	"Campbell .." 

	He remembered vaguely the man with the strange face.  The one who
attacked him before he could defend himself.  He had grabbed his hair and
thrown his face against the ground. He remembered lying there dazed as
Campbell grabbed his gun and pointed it at him. Campbell was very sick. 
His face was pale, yet sweating.  His body seemed to be shivering all
over.  He could hardly stand on his feet. Then Mulder leaped at him.  One,
two shots had been fired.  The first bullet passed him by.  The second one
hit h im point blank in the shoulder.  He immediately passed out.  Then a
sharp pain in his hand awakened him again.  Campbell had done something to
his hand.

	Then he remembered Scully's voice as she approached him.  He
wanted to call out for her, but couldn't.  Darkness came again. 

	"Mulder, listen to me ! Did Campbell do something to you ?  Did he
touch your hand?" 

	He swallowed before speaking.  "Yes." 

	Her hands forced him to look at her.  "I need to tell you this
before you lose consciousness again.  Campbell was infected with the
Deming-virus.  Do you remember that?" 

	"Yes." 

	"He might have infected you too.  Mulder, do you understand me?" 

	Silence at first.  Then, "Yes." 

	"I'm so sorry, Mulder." 

	He nodded his head.  "Scully, don't leave me.  You have to find
out what..." 

	He was having trouble breathing.  Why did his chest feel so heavy? 
"Scully !" 

	She saw him stop breathing.  "Damn it, Mulder!"  She crawled out
of the car, and pulled her partner onto the cold concrete.  Immediately,
she started CPR, working on him until the sirens came closer, and a police
vehicle pulled up on the parking lot. Off icer Tom Cox got out. 

	"He's not breathing!" she shouted to him.  Immediately Cox took
over and helped her until she felt a faint pulse. 

	"He's back," she said with a sigh, then looked around and watched
the ambulance stop next to them.  As the paramedics scrambled out of the
vehicle, she started to give them a run-down on Mulder's condition.  She
could hear herself speak, yet at the same time she wondered who that woman
was that had taken over her body.  How could she be so calm, knowing her
partner was going to die, and there was nothing anyone could do about it ? 

	"You need to speak with Dr. Gellar.  He knows what this virus is. 
You need to get him down here!" 

	"He's already on his way, Agent Scully," one of the paramedics
said.  "We've already contacted him." 
 
	More police had arrived and they were asking her questions now. 
"Why were you here in the forest ?  Where is Campbell ?  Why did you drive
out here on yourself knowing Campbell is dangerous ?  What has Mulder been
infected with?" 

	She didn't respond to any of the questions, only said, "Campbell
is somewhere in the forest." 

	Suddenly she noticed she was shivering like crazy.  "You're coming
with us, Agent Scully."  Said one of the paramedics touched her shoulder. 
She looked at him and nodded her head.  "Yeah, I need to stay with
Mulder." 

	The ambulance doors closed behind her.  She was startled by the
noise they made when they were slammed shut.  The paramedic next to her
attached an oxygen mask to Mulder's face and consulted the hospital to get
a procedure started. 

	She looked at her partner's pale face and knew he was not with
them any longer.  Whatever Campbell had done to him, was enough to make
him go crazy in a couple of hours.  He would have seizures and nightmares,
dreams and traumas.  He would wish he was de ad. 

	Suddenly his hands flung in the air, pushing away the oxygen tube
underneath his noise.  He opened his eyes.  They were wild and strange. 
He cried out.  "Samantha ! Don't you take her.  Leave her alone.  Take me
instead.  I don't care.  You're killing h er.  Don't take her!" 

	Scully grabbed both his hands and held them against her chest. 
"Mulder, it's me.  Listen to me, you're in a dream.  It's not real. 
Mulder..." 

	"He's burning up," the paramedic said.  "A temp of 102.  He's
hurting bad.  This cannot possibly come from that bullet wound." 

	"He's been poisoned," Scully said.  "Campbell infected him with a
virus." 

	"What kind of virus?" 

          "I don't know.  He ran off before we could identify it.  That's
why we were in the woods.  Mulder knew Campbell was dangerous.  He wanted
to stop him before he passed it on to someone else.  Campbell tested the
virus on himself." 

	The paramedic didn't seem to understand what she was saying.  She
didn't even know if she made sense to anyone else but herself.  And
Mulder. 

	Mulder seemed to calm down now.  He was lying in her arms, curled
up against her warm body.  But his body was burning with fever. 
Desperately she cradled him, rocking his head and upper body. 

	"It's okay," she said.  "It's okay." 

	Her soothing voice was calmer than her thoughts.  She knew he
would not be okay.  Not as long as that virus was still in him. 

	The ambulance stopped at the emergency unit of Westfield Hospital
and the paramedics took him in on the gurney.  Immediately a few nurses
and a doctor came to attend him.  He was out cold again, the oxygen mask
still on his face. 

	"I'm Dr. Kennedy," a gray-haired man said, touching her hand
slightly.  "Can you tell me what happened?" 

	Again she gave a run-down of the facts. 
  
	In the small emergency room, the remains of Mulder's sweater was
cut open and removed.  His shoulder was examined properly, as was his
hand.  The routine tests began.  Blood was taken from his veins, his
pupils were checked, his temperature taken. 

	"Prepare him for the O.R.," the doctor said.  "We need to remove
that bullet immediately. I'm concerned about it's location near a major
artery," he added as an explanation to Scully.
 
	"Is Doctor Gellar here yet?" Scully asked. 

	"Not yet.  As long as he's not here we'll run a course of
antibiotics to break the fever and see where it brings us." 

	The steady ticking of the heart monitor abruptly stopped. 

	"His heart stopped again!" Scully said, resisting the urge to run
in there and take matters in her own hands. 
  
	"CPR, now."  Kennedy took over and put a respirator tube inside
Mulder's throat.  Then the compressions on his chest started and continued
until the beating returned, only a few moments later.

	"Damn it," Kennedy said, and turning to a nurse, "Make sure the
blood is examined in a priority status." 

	"Yes, Doctor." 

	He looked at Scully.  "I suggest you stay here while we perform
surgery.  I'll make sure you're taken care of." 

	"I'm fine." 

	"You're bleeding, Agent Scully.  It's time to think of yourself
for now." 

	Scully suddenly realized the doctor was right.  She felt terrible. 
"Thanks." 

	A nurse brought her to a separate room, where she could shower and
put on some fresh clothes.  Then her knees were bandaged, as were the rest
of her wounds.  Afterwards, she picked up the phone and called Skinner. 
She knew she woke him, but she didn't c are.

	About an hour later she returned to the O.R. waiting room.  Nurse
Gerrard checked up on her. 

	"Your partner just came out of surgery.  He's in the recovery
room.  Would you like to see him?" 

	"Is he all right?" 

	"Yes, for now.  His fever is still too high, but we're working on
that.  He's been given an IV with antibiotics for now." 

	Nurse Gerrard brought her to the small recuperating room just
outside of the O.R.  Scully saw a few nurses walking about.  She was alone
at Mulder's bed. 

	Her partner was even more pale than before.  His hand and shoulder
were bandaged.  Tubes ran all over his body.  He didn't respond when she
sat down next to him, and grabbed his good hand. 

	"Mulder, it's me." 

	Still under sedation, he didn't hear her. 

	"He's been put under for at least four hours," Dr. Kennedy said,
entering the small room.  "He's going to the IC-Unit until we know how to
break that fever.  But I hope that Dr. Gellar is able to tell me what he's
been infected with.  To be honest, I've never seen anything like it.  He
was restless, even under sedation.  We had trouble keeping him calm.  He
kept on calling you, and someone named Samantha.  Whoever she is, I think
you'd better get her here." 

	"I wish I could," Scully said softly.  "It would probably be the
best cure for him right now.  But I can't." 

	"Then you stay with him, Agent Scully.  If I heard half of it
right, you're important enough to him to save him." 
---------------------------------------------



PART 2/5

     "What do you mean?" 

     Kennedy looked at her with a serious look in his dark eyes.  "I'm not
sure the antibiotics will work. The blood work came back with very strange
results.  He cannot fight it.  His system is too weak.  By shooting him,
Campbell took away a number of his reserves.  Every human being has
reserves, you see.  When one gets hurt, you're able to pull yourself up on
that extra strength.  By weakening a person, you're weakening his immune
system.  Campbell knew exactly what he was doing." 

     "Did the infection invade his body through his hand?" 

     "Yes.  He injected him with it.  I found traces of it.  Did a poor
job injecting Mulder, by the way.  His hand was bleeding." 

     "Yes, I thought he was shot there too, at first." 

     "Agent Scully, I'm going to be honest with you.  If we cannot find a
cure for that virus, we will have to see to it that Agent Mulder is made
as comfortable as possible.  But chances are he may not survive it." 

     "I understand," Scully said.  "Thank you, Doctor." 

     Kennedy nodded and left her with him.  She sat on the side of the
bed, and touched his hand, bringing it to her face. 

     "You're strong enough to fight this, Mulder.  I'm here.  I want you
to fight it." 

     She hoped he would hear her. 

                                   * * * *

     Mulder opened his eyes against the bright sunshine that flooded the
room.  His was lying on his back, but his head was turned aside, and
caught the sun.  His arms felt stiff.  What happened to him ? 

     "He's awake," someone said. 

     Immediately Scully was there at his side, and touched his face.  "How
are you feeling?" 

     "I'm thirsty."  He could hardly pronounce the words.  His throat hurt
like hell. 

     "You had surgery.  The anesthetic makes you thirsty."  Scully brought
a paper cup to his mouth and helped him drink, supporting his head with
her hand on his neck. 

     "Where are we?" 

     "Westfield Hospital.  Do you remember ?  You were chasing Campbell
and got shot." 

     He nodded his head slightly, exploring the room.  They weren't alone. 
There was a man in the room.  A man with blonde hair, blue eyes.  Mulder
remembered seeing him before.  He had trouble remembering his name though. 

     "Dr. Gellar." 

     The blonde man seemed to appreciate his recognition.  "That's right,
Agent Mulder.  I'm glad to see you're okay." 

     "What are you doing here?" 

     "You've been infected by the Deming-virus, do you remember that?" 

     "No .." 

     Scully sat on the side of the bed and looked at him.  "Mulder, we've
examined your blood. You've been exposed to something that we are not able
to identify.  Campbell was working on something he called the
Deming-virus, remember?  He tested it on himself, and ran off with it.  He
infected you with it.  We do not know what it does yet.  We know that it
will make you very sick and delirious.  You've been in and out of
consciousness since it happened.  Your heart stopped beating twice.  We
don't know how to stop this.  Dr. Gellar will do everything he can to find
a cure, and we are completely dependent on that.  Do you understand that?" 

     "Yes..."  His voice died off again.  Why did he feel so damn tired ? 
He wanted to tell his system to stay awake and listen to what Scully had
to say, but he couldn't.  He just wanted to sleep, and dream. 

	"Rest, Mulder."  Gently his partner stroked his hair, and kissed
him on the cheek. 

He loved the touch of her, the presence of her.  Should he tell her that ? 
No, better not.  He fell asleep, with her hand on his. 

     Scully turned towards Gellar.  "This is a quiet interlude in between
the problems, isn't it?" 

     "Yes."  Gellar turned towards the window and looked outside.  "When
Campbell started acting strange, he had fits.  He started to make trouble
whenever he could.  He was feverish, delirious and dangerous at times. 
There might come a time where you have to tie Mulder up just to prevent
him from hurting himself.  He might hurt you.  I don't know how long it
will take before the symptoms run off.  I don't know if Campbell at this
moment is sti ll alive." 

     "Campbell injected himself about a week ago," Scully said.  "If he's
still alive, he might be able to help us.  We need to find him." 

     "Let the police do that, Agent Scully.  Mulder needs you here.  If
you go and he asks for you, he'll go nuts.  Believe me, he will go nuts!" 

     Scully shivered. 

 
     Dr. Gellar unfortunately was right.  By 2 p.m., Fox Mulder was having
fits of irrationality and delirium -- pulling the IV out of his arm, and
the oxygen tube from under his nose. It was all but impossible to hold him
still. 

     "Mulder, calm down.  Mulder, concentrate on my voice.  Mulder, I'm
here."  Her soothing voice could not calm him.  He dreamed of monsters and
gargoyles, of bees and bugs.  He dreamed of Samantha's abduction, and
Scully's illness.  Everything that had haunted him during his life now
came back to overwhelm him.  He had nightmares of being brainwashed at
Ellens Airbase, of being left behind in the Antarctic.  Of being in that
huge alien ship, struggling to get his partner out.  Of collapsing and
dying on the ice.  All the nightmares an d all the problems now came back. 
He saw his father die again.  He saw his mother with the smoker. 
Everything that haunted him, and controlled his life. 

     "He's becoming dehydrated," Dr. Kennedy said.  "We'll have to
restrain him to prevent him from tearing out the drip.  And you have to
get some water into him.  He hasn't eaten in 24 hours." 

     Restraints were placed around Mulder's wrists and ankles to stop him
from hurting himself. He resisted it, as he resisted the injection that
calmed him down eventually.  Hours later he opened his eyes and saw Scully
bending over him, trying to get some water into him.  He begged for more
than she gave him. 

     "Come on, Scully.  I'm dying here.  Give me water.  Please, Scully." 

     "You can't have too much, at one time," she said, persistent.  "I'm
sorry, Mulder. It will overwhelm your stomach." 

     "My head is killing me.  You have to get me some more medication. 
Please, Scully, just put me under or something.  I can't stand this pain. 
Please, Scully.  Help me, Dana." 

     As soon as he started to use her first name, she turned towards him
and looked at him.  His eyes begged her for help.  She put a washcloth on
his forehead, trying to cool him down.  Hungrily he tried to lick his
lips, as if to get to the sweat on his lip.  He tore at the restrains Dr.
Gellar had put on his wrists.  She couldn't bear to watch it.  Impulsively
she untied her partner, watching him smile silently in gratitude.  She
would have to watch out for him. 

     "He's going crazy," Gellar said to her.  "It's like the symptoms of
rabies.  The more water you give him, the crazier he becomes." 

     "But he needs to have water, or he will die from dehydration.  The IV
isn't working."  She could hear how desperate she sounded.  "Isn't there
anything that helps him?" 

     "Just your presence." 

     She returned to the room to find her partner half asleep.  She could
see the red lines where the padded restraints were holding his wrists. 
She unbuckled them, and rubbed his wrists.  He opened his eyes and looked
at her. 

     "Leave me alone, Scully, before I hurt you." 

     "Never." 

     His hand grabbed her neck, and worked its way up to her cheek.  She
touched it slowly.  He looked at her, whispering,

     "I love you so much." 

     "What?"  Confused she stared at his sweaty face. 

     He looked at her with large, unnatural eyes.  He just blurted it out,
not able to restrain himself from saying what he had wanted to say for so
long.  "I love your friendship, and your presence, and your support and
you -- I love you." 

     She touched his cheek, before saying slowly, "I love you too, Mulder. 
You're my best friend. I don't know what I'll do if you die.  You have to
hold on." 

     His hand grabbed hers, and placed it against his cheek as he turned
to fall asleep again.  "I'm so cold, Scully.  So cold..." 

     Concerned she put a few more blankets on him, and felt his fever. 
She checked it.  It had gone up to 104.  Dr. Kennedy entered the room and
checked Mulder's vitals.  "He's getting worse," she said.  "You have to
try other medication until Dr. Gellar has found the solution." 

     "Agent Scully -- Dana -- please step outside the room with me."  He
turned and left the room. Dazed, she went after him.  He frowned as he
turned towards her.  "I just got a call from Tom Cox.  They found Campbell
in the forest.  He's dead." 

     "What ?  How?" 

     "The virus obviously killed him.  An autopsy will reveal more, I
suppose.  But he was the only one who could tell us what the virus
consisted of.  They did find a vial with the virus.  Dr. Gellar is using
that now to try to come up with an antidote." 

     "And in the meantime?" 

     "We have to make sure Agent Mulder will not be given the chance to
become a dangerous individual." Kennedy looked inside the room.  "Those
restraints will have to come back on as soon as he awakens." 

     "I know," she said.  "But right now they would only do him harm.  I
want you to make sure he sleeps the entire evening and night.  When he
sleeps, he won't hurt anyone." 

     "Except himself.  You do realize that he can have the worst
nightmares possible?" 

     "Yes, but I'm here to convince him they aren't real." 

     Kennedy frowned.  "I suggest you go to your hotel, Agent Scully.  You
look dead on your feet." 

     "I'm not going anywhere.  My boss will be here soon, I'll talk to him
then and discuss this matter." 

     "Okay.  But you are going to rest -- if need be in the chair next to
Mulder's bed.  Perhaps then you'll be able to rest a bit." 

     "Thanks, Doctor." 

     Scully only felt how exhausted she was when she crawled into the
large visitor's chair next to the bed, and immediately fell asleep.  Her
hands across her chest.


     "Scully, wake up.  We've got to go, Scully.  C'mon, wake up!" 

     She had trouble opening her eyes and look into the hazel eyes of her
partner.  "Mulder?"  Instantly she was up, staring at the shivering body
of her partner, dressed.

     "We have to go."  He held his left arm to his body, as to protect the
wounded shoulder.  How he had ever managed to dress himself was beyond
her. 

     "Where do you want to go?" she said surprised.  "You're in the
hospital, remember ?  You're sick." 

     She noticed he had pulled out the IV again.  The oxygen tube lay on
the bed.  Why hadn't she heard him get up and move about? 

     "We have to find the smoker.  He knows where Samantha is.  We've got
to find him, Scully. He abducted her, and now she's gone.  I couldn't stop
him then, but I can stop him now.  We've got to go after him.  Please,
Scully.  Get up and come with me." Waves of dizziness overwhelmed him.  He
couldn't stay on his feet.  He sank onto the edge of the bed, clasping his
head.  "Why am I feeling so rotten ?  We've got to go!" 

     "Shh, Mulder.  It's okay."  She touched his forehead.  He was feeling
even hotter, if that was remotely possible.  "Just lie down, Mulder.  I'll
get someone to help you." 

     "No."  He cradled her arms and pulled her closer to him.  "You're one
of them, aren't you?  I remember you.  You shot me.  You were helping
Krycek.  And then I died.  You killed me.  What about Samantha ?  Did you
kill her too ?  Do you know where she is?" 

     "No, Mulder.  I don't.  You have to listen to me.  I'm your friend. 
Remember?  It's us against them.  It's always been like that." 

     "Why did you become my partner ?  Why did we try to kiss in the
hallway ?  Why did I ever get you out of Antarctica?  What did you do when
I passed out?  Did you call the smoker to get us out of there?" 

     "No, Mulder.  I protected you from the cold, don't you remember ?  I
held you in my arms until you woke up.  You were there, try to remember." 

     He looked at her with a strange look in his expressive eyes.  He
debated silently whether to believe her. 

     She had a feeling she would lose the battle.  "I'm calling someone,
okay, Mulder ?  We'll put you to sleep, so you can rest until you see
things clear again.  Just lie down and let me take care of you." 

     Her hand pushed the alarm button only an inch from him.  He looked at
her.  "It's always been you.  Your so-called abduction.  You were never
gone.  Were you?  You killed my father too!  How many times did you try to
kill me?" 

     She touched his cheek, trying to force him back on the bed.  He
pushed her away.  She was surprised by the strength he still had in him as
he made her fall over the chair, onto the floor.  For a moment, she was
dazed.  Then he was beside her again, pulling her up again.  Her hands
desperately searched for something to protect herself with.  But she
didn't need it.  As the strength left his system, he fell over her, and
hit the floor.  She heard him cry out as he landed on his side, his bad
arm underneath him. 

     "Oh, God," she heard Skinner say as he entered the room, followed by
Kennedy and Gellar. 

     Within a few seconds Mulder was on the bed again. 

     "He's taken a turn for the worse," Kennedy said.  He needs to be
restrained again.  Check the bullet wound." 
  
     Skinner helped her up.  "Are you okay, Agent Scully?" 

     "Yeah."  She pushed the hair from her face.  "I'm fine." 

     "What happened?" 

     "He's delirious.  He wanted to leave to find Cancerman.  Mulder
thinks he has Samantha." 

     Skinner looked at Doctor Kennedy.  "You need to make sure he won't be
able to hurt himself." 

     "I know," Kennedy said.  "The restraints need to be put on again." 

     Mulder's head started to move.  His body was entangled in the sheet
and blankets of the bed. His hands were moving wild, as if to fight off
any attackers. 

     "No, Scully," he mumbled.  "You can't stay near me.  Go be a doctor
while you still can. Leave me alone.  I shouldn't have... shouldn't
have..." 

     Scully looked desperately at Skinner.  "I don't know what to do
anymore."

     "You need to get some sleep.  I'll stay with him so he sees a
familiar face when he wakes up, okay?" 

     She knew she had to obey her superior.  But she was afraid of leaving
her partner alone.  If she hadn't left him alone in the forest, they
wouldn't be here right now. 

     At last she fell asleep in an empty hospital room.  She hated the
smell of hospitals, even though she had studied medicine as her life's
work.  She had wanted to do research, to explore the human possibilities
and the body.  She'd wanted to become a scientist to explore the limits of
the human soul and it's capacity.  But now she couldn't even help her own
partner.

          Mulder opened his eyes again.  They held a mysterious look. 
Skinner was sitting next to him. 

     "How do you feel?"  Skinner said helping him to drink a bit of water. 
The restraints were there again. 

     "I'm fine.  Untie me, please.  I'm okay.  I want to get back to
work." 

     "Don't think about work now, Mulder.  You need to get some rest
first.  Everything else is not important now." 

     "Then at least unstrap me, please.  I need to... I don't need these." 

     Skinner looked at Mulder uncertainly.  He was dressed in the hospital
gown and the IV was back again.  Mulder started to cough, then to choke. 
Suddenly his body didn't seem able to resist the darkness anymore.  He
passed out within a few seconds. The EKG flattened and the alarm sounded
on the monitor. 

     "Damn it!" Skinner heard Kennedy say, as he pushed him aside and
checked on Mulder.

     Immediately they were all around him, trying to revive him again. 
They got him back after a minute or so.  His restrained body was tired and
beat.

     Kennedy unstrapped the bands around his wrists, and injected him with
a sedative.  "If this keeps up, we're going to lose him," he said. 
"Mulder is too weak, and too fragile to survive another attack like this. 
I don't know what to do anymore.  I'm helpless.  I've never seen anything
like it." 

     Skinner knew he didn't want to be the one telling Scully this.  But
someone had to do it.  And somehow, Scully probably already knew she was
going to lose her partner. 

                                        * * * * *

     The soft hand on his face awakened him.  She was close to him now,
actually caressing him as she had never done before. 

     "I'm dying, aren't I?" he whispered. 

     "Yes, I'm afraid you may be." 

     "What can you do for me?" 

     "I don't know." 

     "You have to go now, Scully.  You should have left me out on the ice. 
I shouldn't have survived.  I was too tired.  I'm too tired now.  I can't
fight this." 

     "Yes, you can.  You know that you can.  Please, Mulder, don't give
up.  I can't stand losing you." 

     "It had to come sooner or later, didn't it ?  I took too many risks. 
But perhaps I wanted this to happen.  I'm just so tired, Scully.  I can't
go on." 

     "Don't talk like that." 

	Her hand pressed the wet cloth on his face.  Her hands gave him
the drink of water he needed so badly.  He lay back on the pillows,
exhausted and tired.  His entire body was wet with sweat.  He felt he had
been struggling for ages, for centuries.  He felt so old.  He closed his
eyes.  Immediately the dreams came.  Samantha slipped away from him. 
Scully slipped away from him.  He felt her lips touch his.  Then the bee
sting.  The one thing that shouldn't have happened, happened in that
hallway.  He couldn't bear the thought of losing her.  When they shot him,
he just lay there, knowing that he had lost her once again.  He should
have seen it coming.  He was too dangerous for her.

     "You have to get away," he whispered.  "Leave me alone." 
---------------------------------------------



PART 3/5

     "You have to get away," Mulder whispered.  "Leave me alone." 

     Scully didn't go.  Skinner watched her touch Mulder's hand.  He
watched her caress him.  He hadn't seen this before, or had he?  They were
so fond of each other.  Like lovers without an affair.  Like friends with
nothing in common but the care for one another.  He should have seen this
coming. 

     Scully watched her boss looking at her.  She was afraid of crossing
that line.  But she knew she couldn't prevent it anymore.  They had never
talked about that night, but they should have. 

     She bent over him, and whispered into his ear, "Mulder, I don't
regret the kiss.  I never have, and I never will.  I need to be with you. 
You're my friend.  Don't leave me." 

     He didn't open his eyes, but she could feel his fingers grip her
wrist. 

                                        * * * *

     Four days now.  Days of waking up and slipping back into that weird
condition.  The violence came and went.  The dreams appeared and
disappeared.  His words were senseless and useless, but his dreams brought
out the thoughts she never realized he had.  How many nightmares and
dreams he had.  And every night, over and over again, that thought that he
was the one responsible for it all.  Her abduction, Samantha's vanishing,
his father's d eath.  Even the weight of the world rested on him. 
Everything the man in the car had said before he had been blown to pieces. 
Everything of the world carried on his shoulders.  He was weakened so much
you could hardly see him breathe.  The dehydration w as becoming very
alarming now.  He couldn't hold fluids or food.  Even the IV made him
nauseous.  He felt like dying. 

     Four days of looking for a cure.  Of performing the autopsy on
Campbell in the hope of finding something.  Of testing medicines and
cures, anything that might help him.  Nothing worked.  The fever stayed
high, the delusions remained.  Gellar was desperate. 

     On the fifth day Mulder opened his eyes, not remembering where he
was.  The figure next to the bed was there again.  Her red hair spread
over his bed, as her face lay next to his lap, and her hands still touched
his wrist.  She was asleep.  He looked down at her, not remembering who
she was.  Why was he here ?  What was he doing here ?  Then he remembered
slowly.  The blast of the gun as the bullet entered his shoulder and
knocked him off his feet.  The man, Campbell, laughing madly as he
injected him with something.  He remembered the stir of the syringe as it
broke his skin.  The enormous pain he felt as the substance entered his
flesh and veins.  He had to get out of here.  Campbell was da ngerous.  He
was still out there, attacking other people.  Why was he here? 

     Slowly he freed himself from her grip.  She was obviously exhausted,
since she didn't wake up as he got out of the bed.  Something held him
back.  He looked at it.  Oh yeah, the IV.  His fingers pulled it out, and
let it drop on the floor.  His clothes... where were his clothes ? 

     He opened the closet and got out a sweater and jeans.  His shoes were
there too.  And a T-shirt.  She had brought the things for him.  He got
dressed quickly, ignoring the dizziness in his head.  Campbell had to be
found first. The car... where was the car?  She had to be driving a car. 
He found her coat on a chair next to the window.  Her
 keys must be in there.  He reached for her pockets and found them.  Her
gun was next to it.  He reached for it. 

     She stirred and looked up.  "Mulder?"  Immediately she was cautious
as she got out of her chair and approached him.  "Mulder, you'll be fine. 
Just put down the gun." He looked at her unsteadily.  "I've got to go,
Scully.  You can't come with me this time.  You don't need to be killed." 

     "Where are you going?" 

     "He's still out there, Scully.  He's injected me and he'll inject
others.  He's outside." 

     "Mulder, he's not.  He's..." 

     The door opened.  A nurse came in and looked at him, surprised and
frightened.  Immediately she turned and ran out again.  Mulder went after
her as she ran to the nurse's station.  He saw several others.  Skinner
was down the hall.  He wasn't alone.  There was someone with him. 
Cancerman !

     "Damn you!" 

	Mulder pulled his gun and fired twice at the two men standing in
the hallway.  They both fell.  He couldn't see if he actually hit them. 

	"Traitor!" he shouted before running towards the other side of the
hall, taking the stairs.

     "Sir!"  Scully ran towards her boss, helping him up.  "Are you hurt?" 

     "No, he missed me by a mile.  What was he talking about?  He wasn't
even aiming at me, but at the wall behind me." 

     "He's delirious again," Scully said.  "He doesn't know what he's
doing." 

     "Where is he going?" 

     "He said he was going after Campbell.  He's got my gun and car keys." 

     "Dammit, Scully.  In this state he might think that anyone is
Campbell.  You have to stop him.  Do you have any idea where he went?" 

     "No, not a clue.  I don't know where he is.  He said something about
trying to stop Campbell." 

     "Then he's going back to the site where he was hurt," Skinner said. 
"Where else would he go ? Come on, let's go." 

     Skinner ran downstairs with her and got her in the car.  They were
fast enough just to see Mulder drive off the parking lot.  Skinner wanted
to call in more help. 

	"No," Scully said.  "Just an ambulance and Dr. Gellar.  If he sees
a uniform, he'll shoot.  He doesn't trust anyone.  Whatever this virus is,
it feeds on his paranoia and fears.  He's so weakened he can't resist it." 

     "Then what can we do to help him?" 

     "We have to make sure he trusts us," Scully said.  "It's our only
hope.  Perhaps then he'll be able to see through his visions, and believe
that we are right and he is sick." 

     "And if not?" 

     "He's already been suffering from seizures and heart failure.  I
think it feeds on his health.  If he doesn't overcome it, he will die." 

     "But he's paranoid." 

     "Right now ? Yes, he is." 

     "Perhaps that's it," Skinner said.  "He saw his enemy so he fired at
me, calling me a traitor.  But at the same time he tried to fight it.  He
doesn't see me as an enemy, just what he thinks he's seeing." 

     "There is no way we can stop him from seeing the things he's seeing. 
We've tried it with sedation, with sleep, with us being there.  What else
can we do?" 

     "If he's isolated, he might be able to fight it off, wouldn't he?" 
Skinner said slowly.  "Perhaps that's why Campbell ran into the forest of
all places.  He went nuts in the city.  Perhaps, in the forest, with no
one around him, he would be able to resist his urge to kill." 

     "Then why did he die at the end?" Scully said. 

     "Because he didn't have any water or supplies.  He died of the
dehydration Mulder is suffering from right now, as well.  If we can make
sure Mulder gets food and water into his system, while he fights off this
disease, he might have a chance.  Medication doesn't work, you said so
yourself." 

     "That's right," Scully hesitated.  "But Dr. Gellar needs to be
informed of what we are going to do.  He might still find a cure." 

     "Scully, bear with me for a second," Skinner said.  "Campbell was a
Gulf War veteran, wasn't he?  Perhaps he suffered from Gulf War syndrome. 
Some of the soldiers actually became ill afterwards. We think they must
have been exposed to chemical weapons.  What if he wasn't just looking for
any virus, but for a weapon that would not only make people physically
ill, but would drive them insane at the end?  He was a racist.  Perhaps he
wan ted to deal with other cultures in his own way, not by helping people,
but by killing them." 

     Scully smiled faintly. 

	"What?" Skinner asked. 

     "For a moment, sir, you sounded just like Mulder." 

     "But I make sense, don't I?" 

     "Yes," she said.  "You make sense." 

     "Okay, then get on the phone, call Gellar and tell him what we think. 
Perhaps that will help him find a cure for this thing." 

     As Scully picked up the phone, Skinner suddenly saw Mulder's car veer
off the road.

     "Damn it!" 

	Skinner was out of the car before her and ran towards the site
where Mulder's car had ended up in a ditch.  As she followed him and
approached the car, Scully saw her partner, his head resting against the
steering wheel.  Apparently he had lost consciousness again, but he didn't
seem to be hurt. 

	She opened the car door and touched his throat.  A faint pulse was
detectable. 

     "Mulder, can you hear me?"  Her partner opened his mouth, and licked
his lips, as if to prepare to say something.  "No hospital.  Please.  Need
to find him." 

     "Let's get him out of the car," Skinner said, immediately putting his
hands underneath Mulder's arms, gently pulling him out of the car.  Scully
grabbed his legs, and helped him lie down on the cold concrete.  Skinner
took away the gun and handed it to Scully. 

     Mulder opened his eyes, mumbling.  "Need to find him.  He knows." 

     "Mulder, it's Scully.  Can you hear me?"  He looked at her now. 
"Can't go back, Scully.  Need to find him.  He knows what's going on." 

     "Mulder, Campbell is dead."  She didn't know how else to put it. 
Every other way it would come as a blow.  He died three days ago." 

     "No." 

     "He's gone, Mulder." 

     He grabbed her arm.  "He's the only one... don't you see." 

     "I know, Mulder.  But we're going to help you." 

     "No hospital." 

     "No hospital, I promise." 

     She looked at Skinner.  "We can't take him to the forest, he'll die
of exposure." 

     "What about a motel?  There's one not far from here.  We can take
care of him there.  I'll notify the hospital." 

     "Yeah, a motel," Mulder whispered. 

     Scully and Skinner put him back on his feet, struggling to get him
into Skinner's car.  Scully's would have to be picked up later.  Scully
sat in the back seat, holding Mulder's head in her lap and stroking his
head while Skinner drove. 

     "We're almost there, Mulder," she said softly as her partner looked
at her feverishly, trying to remember who she was. 

     "Why do you keep calling me Mulder ?  Samantha always called me Fox." 

     "Would you like me to call you Fox?" 

     "Yes." 

     "All right.  Fox." 

     He looked at her strangely.  "You're different, Dana.  I wish I could
see why.  You're different ever since that day in the hallway.  I wish I
could hold you again, but I'm so tired.  I don't know why." 

     "I'm holding you right now, Fox." 

     He groaned.  "You shouldn't call me Fox.  It doesn't fit, coming from
your mouth." 

     She felt tears rise in her eyes.  As she looked up, Skinner's eyes
met hers in the mirror.  His concern was just as visible as hers. 

     The motel room door swung open as they entered.  Skinner had rented
two rooms.  One to take care of Mulder, and one to catch some sleep as
long as this ordeal lasted. Mulder gasped.  His heavy breathing became
steady as he lay his head in the soft pillows, and fell asleep, with
Scully's hand in his.  When she was sure he was asleep, Scully got up, and
looked at her boss sitting at the small table. 

     "I didn't get the chance yet to tell you how glad I am that you're
here, sir," she said.  "I know that we've caused you a lot of trouble in
the past, and..." 

     "I've always considered Mulder and you friends, agent Scully,"
Skinner interrupted her.  "Not only that.  I owe Mulder big time.  This is
my way to repay him." 

     "What do you owe him?" 

     Skinner didn't respond, but looked over at the bed.  "Is it safe to
leave him here for a moment or so?  I need some fresh air." 

     "I think it will be.  We'll be right outside, won't we?" 

     Skinner beckoned her to follow him outside. As she closed the motel
room door, he turned away from her, and looked over the parking lot. 
"It's been a year now," he said, "but I still cannot forget it.  The faces
of those kids being infected by the bees." 

     "You are speaking about the children in the playground," she
responded. 


     "Yes." 

     "What did you have to do with it?" 

     Skinner looked at her.  "Mulder never told you?" 

     "No.  I know that he defended you when I thought you were the one
within the bureau being a snitch.  I never understood why.  I thought you
were dirty, but he was so eager to defend you.  I always thought that..." 

     "That I was too strict to be a friend to you?" 

     "Yes." 

     Skinner looked at her straight-faced now.  "I had a deal with
Cancerman.  Mulder came to me when you were first in the hospital, and in
danger.  He demanded to speak with him, thinking he would be the one able
to save you.  I told him not to deal with the smoker.  He was dirty, and I
didn't want Mulder to become dirty too." 

     "But instead you made a deal, is that it?" 

     "Yes.  Only, he didn't live up to his part of the bargain.  I removed
crucial evidence, and Mulder found out.  He could have pinned me right
there, but he didn't.  He said he trusted in me, because of things in the
past.  But my treason and silence made sure a number of children got hurt
badly, and died." 

     "And is that why you are here now ?  To make up for Mulder's trust in
you?" 

     "That, among others.  I've seen what they did to you in Antarctica
and I couldn't believe my own eyes.  I felt like nothing in the world
could be held sacred anymore, knowing that some day, out there, something
is going to happen to kill us all." 

     "So you believed us?" 

     "Yes.  But just like you, Agent Scully, my hands are tied.  I cannot
do anything to help you, nor can I protect you when you go too far.  All I
can do, is pick up the pieces." 

     "And now?" 

     "Now, your partner is in danger.  Not from his demons or his past,
but from something someone else did to him.  All I want to do is help him,
and make sure he survives." 

     Scully nodded.  "Thank you, sir." 

     "Scully."  As she wanted to go back inside, he held her by the arm. 
"What happened between the two of you ?  Are you having an affair?" 

     "No."  She smiled faintly.  "Not even close to that.  We just lost it
for a second.  One unguarded moment, and it happened.  It won't ever
happen again." 

     "Scully."  Again she looked at him.  "If you care for him, and your
care can make him feel better, then don't hold back.  Listen to someone
who screwed up a long marriage because he was too scared to show his
feelings.  No matter what happens tomorrow, it's only today that Agent
Mulder has." 

     For a second she hesitated and thought his words through.  "You are
absolutely right," she said.  "Thank you." 

     She opened the door.  Mulder was not in the room.  Noises came from
the bathroom. 

     "Mulder?"  She knocked on the bathroom door.  "Are you in there?" 

     She didn't hear any response, and opened the door.  The shower was
running.  Ice cold water poured on Mulder's clothed body. 

	"My God."  Scully shut off the water tap and helped her partner
out of the shower.  "What did you do?" 

     "I was so hot," he said, now shivering.  "I just wanted to cool
down." 

     "Help me," she ordered Skinner, who had already grabbed a couple of
towels.  Together, they quickly undressed and toweled Mulder until he was
dry again.  Scully ignored his nakedness, as the doctor in her awakened
again.  "We need to keep this place warm," she said.  "Get it as warm in
here as you possibly can." 

     Skinner obeyed her without hesitation and watched them as she checked
Mulder's pulse.  He had calmed down again, but was still shivering. 

     "I can't get the fever down," she said.  "We'll have to get Dr.
Kennedy in here." 

     "He might go crazy again, seeing strangers in here." 

     "Then I'll have to administer the medication myself.  Can you go to
the hospital and pick up as much antibiotics as you can ?  His shoulder is
still not healed either." 

     "Okay." 

     "And bring some warm clothes with you, as many as you can." 

     "I'll be back in half an hour." 

     Scully had forced Mulder to lie underneath the warm blankets of the
bed.  She picked up as many blankets as she could, just to keep him warm. 
His wet hair was now soaked with sweat.  He was delirious again, mumbling
words she couldn't understand.  All the time his eyes did not leave her
sight. 

     "What's happening to me?" he said with a husky voice.  "Why do I feel
like this?" 

     "You've were poisoned, remember?"  she said laying him back on the
bed gently.  In the bathroom she soaked a washcloth with water and put it
on his forehead.  He tried to keep his eyes open, but she said, "Don't
resist the sleep, Mulder.  It's the best way for you to heal." 

     His hand sought out hers.  "I love you, Scully." 

     "I love you too." 

     She kissed his fingers.  Those gentle, soft fingers. 

     He looked at her.  "I'd would do it again for you," he whispered. 
"I'd kill someone for you." 

     "Don't talk.  Just sleep." 

     He turned on his side, and fell asleep, still covered with the
blankets.

     Half an hour later he got entangled in the blankets, as his still
husky voice now screamed in his nightmares.  His cries were heard through
the thin walls of the rooms.  Fortunately there weren't many occupants. 
No one had come to complain -- yet. 

     Scully sat beside the bed, watching her sick partner.  Never before
had she seen him this vulnerable and sick.  She had seen him shot,
overwhelmed by smoke, and desperately ill after collapsing on the ice. 
But never before had he been like this.  Never before had he let his guard
down to tell her how he really felt.  He would probably never do it again
either. 

     She remembered vaguely how he had found her inside that cave -- or
ship, as Mulder had called it.  How something was inside of her, choking
her, killing her slowly.  He had taken it out, and saved her with a
vaccine that had worked.  Then he had struggled to get her out of there,
dragging her with him until she couldn't go on anymore.  He h ad risked
his own life so many times for her, and now she could not do anything to
help him -- but to be here, and to pray that he would be all right.  Would
he be?  She did not know.  For once, she did not know. 

     An hour later Skinner returned.  "I'm sorry I'm so late," he said out
of breath.  "Dr. Gellar thinks he has a vaccine.  He'll be here in the
morning." 

     "He's been trying out all sorts of medication on Mulder.  Who says
this doesn't make him sicker than he already is?" 

     "It's a risk we have to take.  How is he?" 

     "He's rather calm right now." 

     "Has he spoken?" 

     "Just nonsense.  He's resting." 

     "Why don't you get some rest, Scully.  I'll stay here with him." 

     "Okay." 

     Scully didn't have the urge to resist Skinner.  She was just too
tired to care right now.  As soon as she entered the other motel room,
tears started floating down her cheeks.  She felt as if nothing could stop
them anymore.  She threw herself on the bed, and hid her face between her
hands.  When the tears ran out, she fell asleep. 


PART 4/5

     Skinner listened to the vague words of the agent he supervised He
wondered how many lives Mulder had used up so far.  How many times had he
been here, standing at the brink of death, looking into that abyss?  He
knew Mulder wasn't afraid of dying.  He had told him he had been there
once, and it wasn't a bad place.  "It's as if all the people you care
about, wait for you out there," he had said.  "And then you come back into
a next life, with the same people all over again.  Good and bad.  That's
the irony of fate, isn't it, sir?  That the people you battle your entire
life will be there in your next, ready to battle you again."

     "I don't know, Mulder," Skinner had responded.  "But it's an
interesting thought.  Perhaps you are right, perhaps you are wrong.  How
sure can you be about your hypnosis?  How sure can you be that Melissa was
your wife in your previous life?  How sure can you be that Scully was
there as well?"

     "I'm not," Mulder said.  "But at the same time I am.  It's something
to have a hold on.  When things don't work out, you can think about those
who wait for you." 

     *Are you looking in on them right now, Agent Mulder?* Skinner
couldn't help but wonder. Perhaps he already was there, and this was just
the shell of his body, ready to die. 

     Mulder opened his eyes around 3 a.m.  "I need some water," he said. 
"I gotta have some water."

     Skinner got out of his chair and fetched it for him, supporting his
neck as he drank.  They looked at each other. 

     "Where's Scully?" 

     "In the other room.  She was exhausted." 

     "Skinner... sir, if something happens to me tonight, don't call her. 
She can't do anything about it, and I don't want her to see me die.
Promise me that."

     "You won't die, Mulder." 

     Mulder smiled faintly.  "I'll bet the Cancerman won't make a deal
with you on this one, will he? Then again, if he really is my father, he
might..."

     "Your father?"  Skinner held his breath shocked. 

     "It's a difficult thought to bear, isn't it ?  That he knew my
mother, and had a child with her, and I am that child.  But I'd rather be
his kid, than have Samantha be his daughter.  I want to think of her as my
sister, but if she's his daughter, and he's had her with him all this
time... I cannot bear that thought either." 

     "You saw her.  You told me so yourself." 

     "I saw someone.  I don't know if it was her."  Mulder coughed, and
rubbed his throat as to gather his faint voice.  "I don't know what to
believe."

     "You believe that she was abducted by aliens.  You do believe that
again, don't you?"

     "After what I've seen in the Arctic, oh yes.  Do you think it was
fate that I saw that ship just when I had lost all hope of finding the
truth?  That I almost had to lose Scully to see it?" 

     "I don't know." 

     "I was so determined to believe the government had screwed everybody,
and that they had arranged Scully's abduction.  That they actually
abducted people to... And they probably do.  But to see that ship... I
felt like dying at the spot, with the knowledge that my quest had been a
right one.  And Scully, I don't even know if she actually saw it.  And if
she did, whether she believes what she saw or not.  I simply don't know,
and I don't d are to ask."

     "I think she saw it," Skinner said.  "She's seen and experienced too
much not to believe what you saw." 

     "Do you believe it, sir?" 

     Skinner hesitated, and then said, "Yeah, I believe it." 

     "Why?" 

     "Because of all the things you have done and seen in the past.  I've
never seen anyone more determined than you, Mulder.  I've told you that
before.  If you came up and told me Elvis was still alive and you saw him
singing in Las Vegas, I would believe you."

     "Elvis is dead."  Mulder grinned faintly, patting Skinner's arm. 
Skinner looked at him in confusion.  "I'm sorry to break that news to
you."

     "You must be feeling better, Mulder.  You're cracking jokes again." 

     "Oh yeah." 

     Mulder turned over and fell asleep again.  His good arm rested
underneath his body.  His bad hand was stretched out.  Skinner looked at
it.  Then he pulled the blankets back up, and watched his agent sleep. 


     A noise woke him up.  Something was going on in the room.  Mulder was
out of the bed, stomping around, kicking against chairs.  "Where is it ? 
I've got to find it.  Where is it !?" 

     "Mulder, calm down."  Skinner looked at his agent knocking chairs
over onto the floor. "What are you looking for?" 

     "The vaccine.  I need to find the vaccine for Scully's cure.  She
needs it, or she's dead.  Tell me where it is! I need to find Cancerman. 
He has the vaccine, doesn't he?"

     Bewildered, Mulder turned towards Skinner and grabbed him by the
arms.  His face winced as he felt pain shoot through his shoulder.  Mulder
didn't care about the pain.  He hardly felt it.  "Where is it?" 

     "Scully's cured, Mulder.  She's fine.  You don't need to find it
anymore.  You already found it, don't you remember?" 

     "She's in the hospital.  She's sick.  I remember her on all those
tubes... in her nose and mouth. She was sick.  She..." 

     "She's fine.  She's right next door, sleeping.  Mulder, listen to
me!" 

     Skinner shook Mulder slightly, returning the firm grip on his arms. 
"Scully is fine.  You're the one who's sick." 

     "Me?"  Mulder's voice changed tune, as if he was a child again. 
"Why?"

     "You've were infected deliberately.  You're going to be fine, but you
have to stay calm, okay?"

     "I need to drink.  I need some water." 

     "I'll get you some water, but you need to rest.  Go lie back on the
bed.  I'll get you the water." 

     Skinner forced his agent back on the bed, and went to the bathroom,
returning with a glass of ice cold water.  Mulder looked at it, and then
drank as much of it as he could in one gulp.  "I need more." 

     "You can't overdo it.  Your system hasn't had anything in days." 

     "I need more water!" 

     "All right.  Hang on."  Skinner returned with another glass and
watched Mulder drink it all up. Mulder lay back on the bed, breathing
heavily.  His hands gripped the blankets.  "It's so hot in here.  You need
to open the windows and let some fresh air in." 

     "No, you have to stay warm.  You'll be fine if the windows stay
closed."

     "Let me take a shower then.  Just to cool off.  It's too hot." 

     "You're running a fever, Mulder.  You need to rest." 

     Skinner hesitated whether to call Scully to give Mulder a sedative. 
But he couldn't risk leaving Mulder alone. 

     "Just one window."  Mulder's voice faded again.  He turned to his
side and slept.

     Skinner sighed and quickly hurried out of the room, to the one next
door.  On his first knock Scully opened the door. 

     "I heard noise," she said.  "Is he awake?" 

     "You need to give him a sedative or something.  He's acting really
strange." 

     "I'll be right there." 

     Scully grabbed her bag and went into the other room.  Mulder was
lying on the floor.  Somehow he had managed to slip out of the bed and
rest against the cold, stone floor. 

     "Jesus," Scully said as she took his temperature.  103.  "We need to
get him back to the hospital.  His fever's going up.  We can't do anything
here for him."

     "He'll freak out again." 

     "He's freaking out here, as well." 

     Desperate, Scully looked at her boss.  "We can't do anything for him. 
He's dying, and there's nothing I can do."  Her shell caved in.  Skinner
pulled her close to him as she started to cry.  She hated herself for
crying, just as she hated herself for not being able to do anything.

     "Wrap him up in warm blankets," Skinner said.  "There are some fresh
clothes in that bag.  I'll notify Kennedy and Gellar that we're bringing
him back.  Have you seen my cell phone?" 

     "I don't know.  Did you leave it in the car?" 

     "Guess so," Skinner mumbled and walked outside. 

     Mulder opened his eyes as she started dressing him again, then
covering him with the blankets. "Scully ...  you need to get me outside. 
I need fresh air.  I'm so hot." 

     "If I do that, you'll get even worse, Mulder," she said softly. 

     "What are you doing?" 

     "We're taking you back to the hospital.  I cannot treat you here." 

     "No, take me outside.  Please." 

     "I can't." 

     "You have to, or I'm going to die.  Scully, listen to me."  His hand
grabbed her arm so firmly she held her breath against the pain.  "I don't
know how I know this, but you need to get me into the woods.  I need to be
in cold air, as cold as I can.  Every time I am in a cold surrounding, I
feel my head clearing up a bit.  Please, Scully.  Cold air,
 rain, whatever.  Please." 

     She looked at him.  "You're delirious, Mulder.  You'll die." 

     He closed his eyes, leaning against her. *I don't wanna wrestle.* Now
he had to. With all the might he had left in his system, he pushed her
aside, until she fell on the floor.  Dazed she reached for her head, and
looked up as he opened a window and actually tried to climb out and get
out in the cold, open air.

     "Mulder, no!" 

     She stumbled onto her feet, and went after him.  He was faster than
her.  Dropping the blankets on the floor, dressed in the t-shirt and jeans
Skinner had left in the bag, he had crawled through the window and run
into the woods right outside the motel.

     "Skinner!" She shouted as she opened the door.  "He's gone." 

     "What ?  Where?" 

     "Into the woods." 

     The two of them immediately ran in the direction Mulder had taken. 
Scully knew that her partner would run as fast as he could, even in his
delirium.  Why the hell didn't he listen to her ?  She felt herself crawl
on her feet again after tripping over the root of a tree.  Why couldn't he
ever listen to her ?

     "Mulder ! Mulder!" Both of them called out his name.  Scully knew he
would be hiding from them.  Probably delirious, having waking nightmares
of past encounters in the woods.  He would not be able to see to his own
safety. 

     "Damn!" Skinner said.  She'd never heard him curse so much as these
days.  "Where the hell is he?" 

     "We have to keep looking." 

     Fox Mulder watched the skies and embraced the cold that now covered
his entire body.  He felt better already, or did he?  His face and hands
and arms and legs were now covered with rain.  He fell down in a pile of
leaves and gazed up at the stars.  The stars seemed to change into little
green flies that covered him.  He screamed as they seeme d to attach to
his face and arms, and then changed into the black oil that entered his
mouth and nose.  Suddenly he heard something behind him.  Quickly he
turned around.  What the hell was that ?  He couldn't see anything, but
the leaves were moving.

     *I don't wanna wrestle.* "No!"  He screamed out loud now, protecting
himself from unseen enemies.

     "Mulder!" Two hands touched his shoulders. 

     He looked up at Scully's face, covered with the black oil.  "Get it
off you!" he screamed, trying to get the oil off her.  "It's all over
you."

     "Mulder, there's nothing here.  You're okay.  It's okay."  Softly she
caressed him, until he quieted down in her arms.  Then his hands grabbed
hers again, and went up her face, until he could force her to look at him.
"Why won't you talk about it?" he said, almost crying.  "I need you to
tell me you saw it.  Tell me you saw it!" 

     Skinner watched them carefully as Scully fought back her own tears. 
"I saw it, I saw it," she said, as she had done on the ice.  "I saw it as
good as I see you now."

     Mulder started to cry now.  His body shook as he was held by her.  He
seemed to choke on his tears.  Then he turned silent in her arms.  Skinner
bent down and looked at him.  "He's passed out again.  He's soaking wet. 
We've got to get him in the car and to the hospital." 

     "Wait."  Scully suddenly realized her partner didn't feel as hot as
he had been just an hour before.  "Feel his fever.  It's going down." 

     "What?"  Skinner touched Mulder's hand.  "You're right.  Do you think
the rain helped?"

     "Perhaps that's why he wanted to shower so bad.  And why he kept on
asking to be outside.  If we keep him wet and even cold, he might
improve." 

     Skinner got on his foot and looked around.  "Right now I don't think
there is another choice, Scully.  I have no clue as to where we are." 

     "Can you try your cell phone?" 

     "It doesn't work out here.  We're too deep in the forest.  We'll have
to try and make our way out in a few hours.  It'll be light in an hour or
so, I suppose.  It's after 5 a.m." 

     Scully looked at her partner still cradled in her arms.  "Leave it to
Mulder to find his own cure," she whispered, as her mouth touched his
forehead and hair. 

     "Keep on doing that, G-Woman."  She looked up and saw straight into
Mulder's eyes.  He smiled at her faintly. 

     "I guess you would like that, wouldn't you, G-Man?" she responded
with a smile. 


---------------------------------------------



PART 5/5

     Mulder was even capable of getting up and walking out of the woods by
himself, even though Skinner had to support him most of the time.  It
didn't take them too long to find the main road again, and from there they
made their way back to the motel. 

     "Your clothes are wet again, Mulder," Scully said as she brought him
inside the room, immediately opening all the windows, to let the cold in. 

     "Since you are going to let me shower this time, that doesn't really
matter, does it?" he responded. 

     She helped him into the bathroom, again ignoring his nakedness when
undressing him.  Despite her continued concern that he might die from
hypothermia instead of the virus he was exposed to, she let him shower in
cold water. 

     Mulder seemed to be right.  As he got out of the shower and dressed
in a warm cotton robe, he seemed to be feeling better. 

     "What do you think?" Skinner said as he watched Mulder lie down on
the bed and fall asleep. 

     "I think we should get him back to the hospital, and give him regular
showers there.  It seems to be the only thing working so far.  But what
are going to do ?  He cannot go on like this for much longer.  We have to
find that cure!" 

     "I just called Gellar," Skinner said.  "He promised to meet us at the
hospital with the vaccine he wants to test on Mulder.  I told him about
the showers and the rain." 

     "And?" 

     "Let's just say he was rather pissed at the idea of us taking the
risk of exposing your partner to cold water.  He says Mulder will die if
we continue like this." 

     "At least it helped for now." 

     "Yes, it did.  But Scully, for how long?" 

     Scully woke her partner, and helped him dress.  Then they walked to
the back of the car, and she got in next to him.

     "My head is still pounding," he said.  "I don't know what to do about
the noises I hear.  But at least the dreams seem to have stopped." 

     She caressed his hair.  "We'll find a cure, Mulder.  I promise." 

     He looked at her, troubled, trying to remember everything he had said
and done over the past few days.  He could hardly remember it.  Faint
visions of speaking to her, kissing her perhaps. She was his friend, but
would she some day be more than that? He closed his eyes and rested. 


     In the emergency room Mulder was put on a bed again, and watched
numbly as the nurse put in another IV, before wheeling him to his room. 

     "You need to get some fluids inside of you, Mulder," Scully
explained.  "You held down the water, but you still cannot eat anything
without getting sick.  This IV is the only thing that can actually give
you nutrition." 

     "I understand," he said.  "Thanks, Scully." 

     "Whatever for?" 

     "For not giving up on me." 

     "Never." 

     Mulder didn't even object when the oxygen mask returned to help him
breathe better.  He listened to the sound of the monitor checking his
heart rhythm.

     "Look who's back."  Dr. Kennedy entered the room and smiled.  "You
seem to be feeling a bit better." 

     "I am, actually," he said.  "Thanks for the inquisition.  Now, when
can I get out of here?" 

     "Not for a couple of days, I'm afraid," Dr. Kennedy continued,
checking on his fever.  "You're down to 101.  Very good.  Now, let me talk
to your partner for a moment, if you will." 

     Mulder closed his eyes. 

     Scully followed Dr. Kennedy outside.  "I think he's over the worst
now," she said.  "But he needs to shower regularly.  Cold water seems to
help stop this virus, whatever it is.  It sounds irrational, but that's
how he can be helped." 

     "And the vaccine?" 

     "We're still waiting for Dr. Gellar." 

     "Come to my office for a moment.  Your partner will be okay.  He's
sleeping." 

     Scully followed the doctor to his office, where she found Skinner
seated as well.  "I think you should know something strange," Dr. Kennedy
said.  "We've found some very strange components in Agent Mulder's blood,
as you know.  But something else has come to my attention.  Every time
Agent Mulder seemed to be feeling a bit better -- the times he was lucid
-- he immediately took a turn for the worse, as well.  Could it be that he
is being administered something that may have a bad reaction to this
virus?" 

     "What do you mean?" Scully said.  "On purpose?" 

     "I don't know.  Perhaps it's one of the medicines that interacts with
the virus.  I simply do not know." 

     "Wait a minute," Skinner said.  "Has he been getting worse after one
of Dr. Gellar's injections? You have a list of them in this file, don't
you?" 

     "Actually, yes, I have." 

     Dr. Kennedy opened the file and checked.  "You're right," he said. 

     "Dr. Gellar has been trying out vaccines on agent Mulder, hasn't he?"
Skinner said.  "What if he was testing new versions of that virus?"

     "You mean using Mulder as a test subject?"  Dazed by the thought,
Kennedy stared at Scully and her boss.  Scully got up.  "When exactly is
Gellar going to inject Mulder?" 

     "I think right about now," Kennedy said. 

     "Shit!" Skinner and Scully started to run towards Mulder's room.  As
she opened the door, Scully saw Gellar empty a syringe in Mulder's arm. 
Her partner was sleeping. 

     "Drop it!" Scully got out her gun and pointed it at the doctor. 

     "What the hell is this?"  Gellar said angry. 

     "What did you inject him with?"  Scully replied.  "Another version of
that virus ?  You never meant to heal him, did you?" 

     "I don't know what you're talking about.  I've been helping your
partner, healing him.  Not killing him." 

     "Tell that to the authorities."  Skinner handcuffed the doctor and
pushed him in the arms of a waiting FBI agent. 

	"Oh, hell!"  Now it was Scully cursing as she checked up on her
partner.  "He's worse.  Look, he's feverish again.  In a minute he's going
to..." 

     Mulder started to convulse.  His hands clenched, his body jerked
until he had freed himself from the strangling blankets.

     He felt so hot, so desperately sick.  "Samantha!" he screamed as he
saw her abduction again. He felt Scully's lips on him, before she got
stung.  Her body as she fell on the floor, and said something was wrong
with her.  He felt so desperate as he tried to help her.  And then, when
he was unable to move because of the shot to his head, he could not free
himself from that terrible numbness that prevented him from saving her. 
"Scully!"

     "I'm here, Mulder."  Her voice seemed to go through his mind as a
knife.  He knew she was there, but he couldn't listen to it.  Not like
this.  And then the darkness returned. 

     "He's going into cardiac arrest.  Get some help in here!" Scully
shouted towards Kennedy.

     Immediately they were there again, working on him until his body
reacted again, and his heart started beating again. 

     "We need to get him under ice cold water," Scully said.  "It's the
only thing helping him to fight this fever.  Help me!" 

     Despite Kennedy's protests, Scully managed to convince the nurses to
help put her partner under a shower.  His unconscious body had to be held
up.  He didn't even respond to the cold water anymore.  He was in a
dreamlike state. 

     "Come on, Mulder!" She almost shouted it, resisting the urge to hit
his head and have him listen to her.  It seemed to take hours before he
opened his eyes, and looked at her, dazed.  He didn't know where he was. 

     "Let's get him dried off and back into that bed.  Turn off all the
heaters, and keep his face and hands wet."  Scully almost spit out the
words as she started to take the initiative. 

     Skinner watched from afar. Once back in the bed, Mulder started to
convulse again, trying to kick off everyone except Scully.  He clutched at
her, as if she was the only one protecting him now.  He cried in her arms
as he was tormented by his nightmares.  He held her until she almost broke
her back in the uncomfortable position. 

     "Don't leave me," he begged as she went to the bathroom for a
washcloth. 

     She had the nurses wet his hands, legs and feet.  She stayed near his
face, so he could see her as he woke up. By nightfall, his condition
seemed to approve.  He finally fell asleep in a dreamless state. 

     Skinner returned.  She hadn't even noticed he had left.  "I've
checked up on our Dr. Gellar," he said.  "It seems that he helped Campbell
create that virus, and probably was the one who injected it into him as
well.  He must have, because if Campbell died, he must have received
several injections of the drug.  Gellar admitted he was looking for a way
to strengthen the effects, so that one injection would be enough to knock
someone out for days.  He used Mulder as a test, Scully.  Now that the
injections have stopped, the virus will lose its strength, and Mulder will
get better.  But it will take some time.  We don't know how much damage
this whole ordeal has done.  Mulder might not be himself any more when he
gets well.  We just don't know." 

     "He will get well, and he'll be himself again."  Scully said it with
as much determination as she possibly could.  "I can feel it." 

     "I hope you're right," her boss said softly.  "I really hope you're
right." 

     "And the virus?" 

     "We don't know what it is.  Gellar refuses to tell us.  The labs are
checking it out, but the chances are we might never find out." 

     "It doesn't matter," Scully said.  "As long as Mulder's okay, I don't
care what it is.  With Gellar arrested, no one else will be subjected to
this, will they?" 

     "Not a chance." 


     By morning, Mulder opened his eyes and looked around -- for the first
time with a clear head.  Scully sat next to the bed, smiling as he looked
at her. 

     "What happened?" 

     "Gellar was injecting you with the virus," she said simply.  "We
found out, and you're going to be fine now." 

     "No more attacks?" 

     "No more attacks, I promise." 

     She laid her hand on his arm as to confirm her own words.  No more
attacks. 


     They sat together in the sun.  She watched him as he ate a cup of
yogurt.  "I'm glad to see you eating again," she said.  "Eight days
without food is a long time, Mulder." 

     "Wanna have some?" 

     "No."  She smiled.  "Thanks for the offer though." 

     The color was gradually coming back to his face.  For the first time,
she felt again a bit of that strength that so belonged to her partner.  He
watched her watching him. 

     "Scully, tell me honestly.  What did I say to you?" 

     "Nothing that I didn't know already." 

     "Like what?" 

     "Like the fact that you feel guilty about what happened to me.  That
you think everything I do or that happens to me, lies in your hands.  That
you force me to be with you and to work with you.  All of this is not
true.  I chose my own path, and I continue to walk on it." 

     "What else?" 

     She frowned her forehead.  "Nothing.  But do you remember what I told
you?" 

     "I don't know."  He stared in front of him.  "I remember you saying
things about believing.  I'm not sure if I heard it right.  I..."  He
nodded his head and turned away from her.  "I can't separate the dreams
from reality.  I don't know what's wrong and right." 

     She put her hand under his chin, forcing him to look at her.  Slowly
she bent forward and kissed him softly on the lips.

     "This is right," she said.  "Just like it was the last time." 

     She got up, and left him on the bench in the sun.  Dazed and confused
his eyes followed her leave. *Yeah, it was right.* He smiled as he touched
his lips, savoring the taste of her. 


The End

---------------------------------------------