To: x-files-fanfic@chaos.taylored.com Date sent: Sat, 23 Aug 1997 18:27:17 -0700 From: obliviousme@juno.com (Marcia Estarija) disclaimer: characters and situations of the x-files belong to chris carter and fox broadcasting. they have been used without permission. no copyright infringement intended. classification: v h a (???) rating: pg-13 (some "vulgar" language) summary: A newly hired waitress encounters the CSM for the first time. author's notes: Just a quick story that does not contain Mulder or Scully. I was watching some old episodes and I felt an urge to write only about the CSM! Hope you enjoy it! :) comments: hopefully, you have lots of them! please send them to: obliviousme@juno.com Inconsiderate Jerk (1/1) by Marcia Estarija ********************* The Cigarette-Smoking Man steps into his favorite diner. The diner is very old-fashioned. The waitresses still wear those simple turquoise dresses with white aprons. He sits down in a booth and searches for something. Unable to locate whatever it is he's looking for, he turns towards the chatting waitresses standing behind the counter. He catches the gaze of a waitress he's never seen before. He doesn't smile nor offer any expression of friendliness; he simply stares at her. "What's his problem?" Jenny, the new hire, asks the others. The others laugh at Jenny's question. "That, there, is the coldest, most conniving man I've ever met," says Mary, the oldest of the group. "He comes in everyday. Never says a nice thing." "Hey, Jenny," interrupts Linda, "I think I'm speaking for Mary too, but you should probably help the guy. Even though he's an asshole and all, he's probably the worst regular we've got. Don't expect anything more from him than his order." Jenny smirks at her co-workers as she grabs a menu and heads for the highly-respected customer. "Good morning," she says, naturally and happily. The CSM doesn't even look up at her. She plops the menu atop the table. "Our specials today are - " She is quickly shut up with the motion of his hand. His gesture is as if he is shoo-ing away an annoying fly. Jenny can't help but let out a "hmmph" as she walks back behind the counter. "The nerve of that man..." she growls as her co-workers laugh. "Who does he think he is?" "We told you he's the worst," Linda reminds, "If you can bear with him, you can bear with anyone." "Jenny," Mary starts, "You're the sweetest gal I've ever met and I know this man here is a major pain. But sometimes worlds collide and this is a job you've been hired to do." "Oh, I know, I know," Jenny utters, "I'm not gonna quit over this jerk or anything, I just can't believe he's so...so rude. Like he owns the gawddamn world or something." "Some men think they do," Mary says wisely. The women agree. Suddenly, the CSM's gaze is affixed on Jenny again. "Shoot," Jenny says under her breath as she returns to his side. "What can I get you, sir?" "I'd like a cup of coffee," the CSM says, staring blankly in front of him, "Black." Jenny jots down his order. "Anything else?" she asks, looking at the top of his head. "That's all for now," he answers. Jenny grabs the menu and turns away briskly. Cheap bastard, she thinks. "Wait," the CSM calls out, "Give me today's newspaper." Jenny cannot believe this man. "No 'please'? No 'excuse me'? No 'thanks'?" Jenny says, exasperated, as she searches for the morning edition behind the counter. "It's over there, hon," Linda directs, suddenly feeling bad for pushing this jerk into Jenny's hands on her first day. "Near the register." Jenny takes a deep breath and walks over to the register. "Thanks," Jenny says, offering a weak smile. "Just think, my shift just barely started." "Here's that cup of black coffee for that nice gentleman," Linda says, pushing the mug towards Jenny. Jenny nods as she tucks the newspaper under her arm and grabs the mug. She returns to the CSM. She drops the newspaper on the table. "Here's your newspa-" she stops, watching this man light a cigarette in front of her. She places the mug down. "Sir, this is a non-smoking establishment." The CSM puffs the cigarette and turns slowly to face her. "Who says?" he asks. "The government says so," Jenny answers, her cheeks red with anger. The man chuckles. "I am the government," he says, nonchalantly. "Sir," Jenny says, trying to control her temper, "It would be greatly appreciated if you'd respect our other customers by putting that cigarette out. This diner is full of signs declaring that it is a non-smoking establishment." The CSM continues puffing his cigarette, ignoring Jenny's presence. "Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave if you don't stop," Jenny says, her patience nearing its edge. The CSM does not acknowledge Jenny. "Sir!" Jenny yells, grabbing his arm. His cold eyes turn to meet her gaze. "I've watched presidents die," he says, as if those words meant something to Jenny. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Jenny yells, incredulously. "If they did die, it's probably because of all that damn smoke coming from your dirty mouth!" She grabs the cigarette from his hand and plops it in his cup of coffee. She snatches the newspaper from him and tucks it protectively under her arm. "Get the hell out of here, you old, smelly jerk!" Jenny says, moving aside so that the CSM could step out of the booth. He looks Jenny over and smiles slyly. He gets up and walks towards the door. Jenny watches him the whole time, steaming mad. He turns one last time towards her. "You will be sorry," he says and walks out of the diner. Jenny runs to the door and throws it open. "Thanks for ruining my first day, asshole!" Jenny yells at the CSM's back. She closes the door and looks at the astonished faces of everyone inside the diner, co-workers and customers alike. She quickly opens the door again and shouts, "And have a nice day!" "Maybe you should take an early break," Mary suggests as Jenny slowly returns behind the counter. Jenny puts the newspaper back, next to the register. She looks up at Linda and Mary, a very sorry look on her face. "I'm going to be fired, huh?" she asks. "Nah," Linda assures, "The boss doesn't like him much either." "Go on, take a break, Jenny," Mary repeats, patting her on the back. "We'll clean up his mess." Jenny nods her head and smiles. "I'll be in the back," she replies. She walks through the greasy kitchen and heads for the back door. The fresh air outside calms her senses. She reaches into her pocket for her lighter and her camels. Her eyes open widely as she stares at the cigarette in her mouth. Spitting it out and dropping her box of camels onto the ground, she cusses to herself and kicks them all far away from her. "I give up! I quit!" she screams to the blue sky. She jumps on top of the cigarettes, smashing them down to the ground. Realizing she is going crazy mad, she starts laughing. She laughs so hard, tears start streaming down her face. "Damn cigarettes!" she yells. *********************