Subject: NEW: Intermission (1/1) From: ravenwrite@juno.com (Kristine J Lemay) Date sent: Mon, 22 Dec 1997 23:27:34 EST Intermission by Kristine Lemay Copyright Kristine Lemay 1997 Distribution: Do with it as you will--but let me know about it. Please, keep my name and my address attached. Rating: Probably PG-13 for a couple of not so nice words. Spoilers: Lots of little ones from the U.S. fourth season. Irresistible, Christmas Carol/Emily, Leonard Betts, Redux, Redux II Summary: Everyone seems to have forgotten the fact that cancer is not cured just because it is in remission. Scully gets a reminder. Classification: Vignette. Loads of Angst. I'm not sure if this counts as MSR or not--the idea is there and it's resisted. You tell me. Disclaimer: Since I'm not a megalomaniac, I'll just admit it. They ain't mine. Big surprise, huh? And all these years, you thought...sorry. They were created by CC and co, but they belong to David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson--and anyone who really wants to dispute that...but hey, this is my first posting, and I want to be friends! Obviously, I'm not making any money--from this, or anything else, so please don't bother suing me. Authors Note: While I've been writing fiction for awhile, I'm new to fanfic. Please let me know what you think...and now, without any further delays... Intermission by Kristine Lemay She stared. For a long time. This shouldn't have surprised her. She was a mature woman. She had been through hell and back, with Pfaster, Van Blundht, that Flukeman, the Mothman thing, gaining and losing a biologically impossible daughter in a matter of days. For pities sake, she had gone through medical school. She knew what remission meant. Special Agent Dr. Dana Katherine Scully should not have been surprised. The trip from her bi-weekly checkup to the office was a blur. Somehow, she managed to beat Mulder there. She sat down at the desk she had finally managed to wrangle out of him, opened a file, and stared at the contrast of black and white and color photographs, but comprehension did not come. There hadn't been any nose bleeds. She wasn't tired like she had been. She felt better than she had since she met that damned Leonard Betts. She knew it wasn't really his fault, but something in her heart couldn't help thinking that if she'd never met the more literal Cancerman, none of this would have happened. Her forehead wandered down to be supported by hands that were still too thin, too pale, too weak--she couldn't go through this again. *Damn it, I did everything they told me. I ate all the right foods, I said my prayers, I left their goddamned chip in my neck--what right does it have to come back? I was supposed to have beaten it, why is it back?* She didn't hear the door open, didn't see the name plate that still, after five years, read Fox Mulder, Special Agent. She'd meant that to be her next project, after she got a desk. Lost in her own world, gradually folding in on itself, perhaps it was understandable that she jumped when the one mentioned on the offending nameplate spoke. "Scully? Are you okay?" She could see in his eyes--his jaded, beautiful hazel eyes--what he expected. Her typical answer, the one that allowed him to shut down, to give an automatic answer and turn away, to not care, to not give a shit. "No, Mulder, I'm not okay. I'm not okay at all." For a moment, she fought the tears. For just a moment. Then it occurred to her that there might not be too many more opportunities in her life to experience tears. Once again, after the briefest of interludes, the phrase "life is too short" had taken on a whole different meaning. Mulder was there before the second tear had hit her cheek, as he always was when things got really rough. He went to his knees, unaware of the grime from the basement floor settling into his Armani. He wrapped her up in his broad shoulders and long arms. There was something different about the way he touched her, the way he kissed her cheek like he'd done when she was in the hospital with her cancer--this damned cancer. "Dana," he murmured, her proper name almost caressed in his throat, and sounding just as wrong as it always had. "What's wrong? Emily? Is something wrong with your family? Talk to me." "The cancer--" she whispered, and felt him holding back a chuckle. "You're fine. Everything is going to be fine." He was rocking her just a little, his hand in the small of her back, trying to comfort. "It's back." He went rigid, a piece of steel in her arms, holding her. "What? Scully, they said--" She pulled away from him, Dr. Scully taking over for the cancer ridden Dana. "They said that my cancer was in remission. And it was. And now it's not." "But the chip--and everything--" "Maybe it was faulty, Mulder. Maybe he was planning this all along. Maybe our Morley-inhaling buddy figured that you would be on his side by now, and I would once again become expendable." His hands were still on her forearms, still holding her, still grounding her. "But I don't want to waste my time on this, Mulder. I have other things to do." She tried to stand, but his hands remained firm on her. "Waste your time--Scully, come on. We got to the bottom of this before, we can do it again." "Mulder, I don't have the time. It's growing faster this time." He was just staring now, those beautiful hazel eyes more lost than she had ever seen them before. "I need to deal with this, Mulder. I need to get some things in order. I need to see Chuck--I haven't seen him in almost five years. I would have left so many things undone before. I don't want to do that again." She moved to stand again. This time he didn't stop her. "I need to see Skinner." She slipped past him as he knelt by her desk. She had her hand on the doorknob before he spoke, his voice low and shaky. "Dana...please don't leave me..." She felt something inside her shut down, abrupt and absolute. "It's not my choice, Mulder, believe me." He crossed the room and caught her hand. "I love you, Dana." The tears were there again, but she still didn't feel. "Please don't, Mulder." "I do. I have since the day you walked in here with the FBI's most unwanted. I never said anything because I was afraid of losing you the way I've lost everyone. But--please--if we have even a little time left, let's not waste it. Let's spend it together." "Mulder..." she whispered, and could choke out no more. She smiled just a little and leaned forward to press her lips to his in what she meant as a chaste, friendly kiss. His arms were clutching her body to him instantly. A million images flashed through her mind--his gentle kisses when she was in the hospital, the warmth of his arms always around her. "Fox..." she whispered into his lips. He tried to deepen the kiss, his angle shifting, his lips opening. She pushed him away, not quite sure why, but needing to be away. "I'm sorry, Mulder. I can't. I just...can't." She watched his face crumple, his hazel eyes going dead. *Just like mine.* She turned away and walked out the door that led to the rest of her life, leaving him behind, pretending not to hear the sobs as the nameplate of Fox Mulder, Special Agent seemed to rattle precariously against the door. She just kept staring. And she didn't feel a thing. ***************************** So, what did you think? No, really. Please, tell me. Comments and criticism more than appreciated--flames will be used to burn my yule log.