From: Scott Miller Date: Thu, 23 Apr 1998 18:43:01 -0500 Subject: NEW: Irreversible (1/1) by Lisa & Scott Miller Irreversible Rating: NC-17 Categories: SRA Keywords: Mulder/Scully Romance Okay folks, its time once again to withdraw from the shadows of lurkdom to post another gem of fanfiction to brighten your already sunny days. This time Lisa and I teamed up and played tag with a story idea. See if YOU can find the breaks (good luck). Fox Mulder and Dana Scully are comfortably within the deep pockets of one Mr. Chris Carter and his production company. I am certainly not reaching into his pockets to get anything, much less Mulder and Scully. Feedback is a complicated issue here. Sure we want it, but make sure you email both Lisa and me, Scott Miller . Thanks, and Enjoy. Irreversible, by Lisa & Scott Miller Sunlight was never Mulder's ally. An advantage to being in the basement of the FBI was the ability to lose track of time. No pesky dawn to wake him on an all-nighter. Unfortunately, those days were over, and the dawn light brought him groggily to consciousness. He tried rolling over to avoid the warm glow of the sun, only to nearly wake his sleeping partner. Shit, he thought, How did I forget she was here? He took a moment to look at her peaceful expression, from the way the red locks of hair fell over her forehead, to the slight part of her lips. He sighed, wishing he could wake her. He carefully put the offending lock of hair back in place with his index finger. She shifted slightly, affected perhaps by the sunlight now allowed to invade her view. Scully was still half-asleep and rolled over to the right, coming in contact with something warm. She didn't want to get up just yet. Mulder knew he should awaken her, but the feeling of her soft, warm body next to his felt too good. The instant she realized where she was she would jump away from him. So, he decided to stay still prolonging this rare moment as long as possible. Mulder closed his eyes in thought. Such a strange turn of events had brought him to this place. Amazing that just the other day, they'd been fighting, and Scully had even suggested leaving him. He shuddered at the thought. But she wasn't leaving him, she was here, and he smiled at the thought that she'd be with him for quite some time. He almost chuckled aloud. The argument had been over something trivial, but he'd been stubborn. That's what she had gotten angry at, his inability to compromise. He sighed as sleep crept up to claim him once again. Scully slowly lifted her lids against the intruding sunlight. She was met not only with the golden warmth, but with the vision of her partner. Her mind flooded with the events of the recent past that had brought her... and him to this place. It seemed ridiculous now that she would have ever considered leaving the Bureau. But things had been different the last two days. * * * "Mulder, we can't hand in a report like this." "Why not, Scully?" he asked thumbing through the pages contained in the shiny binder. "All these eyewitness accounts are from people who are .. well questionable." "Look, Scully I know this people live in a rural town, but that doesn't mean they aren't credible." "They all claimed to have seen UFO's outside of a bar, Mulder." she stated. "There has been sightings in this town dating back 50 years." "So your report claims." "What the hell is that supposed to mean, Scully. I thought this was our report?" her partner asked, raising his voice a little. Mulder had been irritable over the last few days. The case was sketchy at best, but he'd had a strong feeling about it at the start. He was being too defensive, and he knew it. "Nothing. Forget it." "No, you don't want your name on it, right. Of course, you've never believed." "That's not what I meant." she said looking into his eyes. "Well, what is it? What did you mean?" Mulder asked leaning over the desk inches from her face. "Its just that... you're not helping. Skinner's going to want a solid report, and frankly, I don't blame him. There's no telling who else reads it. It just needs to be grounded in fact." "Are you saying you're unwilling to accept that a mass sighting of an Unidentified Flying Object could be fact?" "Mulder, that's not what I mean." "By all means Agent Scully, tell me what you mean." Mulder's voice was accusatory, and it was pissing Scully off. "God dammit Mulder! All I'm saying is you need to consider the consider the possibility that it was... a mass halucination!" "Jesus, Scully! I would have expected that kind of response when I met you, but not now, after all you've seen..." "What I've seen has only shown that thing aren't what they seem. You were spring loaded to believe on this case, and why? Because it involved an abduction. Of a little girl." Mulder's pupils constricted in fury. Scully tensed as she noticed the black hue they had taken. She regretted the words the instant they left her mouth, but it was too late now. Before she could say anything else, Mulder pushed her out of the way and made for the door. Scully knew she shouldn't have brought his sister into this. It was always about Samantha, though, wasn't it? What if he found her? Would he just accept that she was here or would he want to make the people responsible pay for causing her abduction almost two decades ago? However, she feared this personal quest he was on would kill him before he finds the truth. Scully only hoped she would be there to save him before that happened. She wouldn't lose him. She couldn't. But Dammit, he wasn't considering her point of view. He never seemed She almost wondered if Mulder considered her a partner, at least when it came to his opinion. Did he think she would just believe 'he's the boss,' without question? She sighed. She didn't need this now, not after everything she'd been through. Scully sat down dejectedly on her desk, opening the top drawer. She reached her hand far in the back, and pulled out a small, worn envelope. She'd written it years ago, when she wasn't sure if she could tolerate Mulder's obsessive arrogance. It was her letter of resignation, just waiting for her to sign and date it. She chuckled, amused that there was a time she would even consider using the letter. Not now, she respected Mulder too much, and more than that, she cared for him more than she could even admit herself. Scully threw the letter back on her desk, knowing that it was time to go find Mulder. He should have cooled off enough by now. She too grabbed her coat and walked out the door. Twenty minutes later, Mulder walked back into the office and switched on the light. She wasn't here. Good. He was still a little upset with her, anyway. He sat down at his desk looking over the report again and did notice many inconsistencies in it. However, her outburst was unprofessional and it hurt him. Mulder looked over at her desk and saw an envelope on it that he didn't remember seeing earlier this afternoon. Getting up, he slid the letter out of the envelope and started to read it. Her resignation letter. No! She couldn't do this to him! Couldn't she? The past few years have been filled with tragedies for her. Her abduction. Her sister's untimely death. Her cancer. They were all his fault. Scully had every right to leave. It was only natural that she would want to get away from someone who caused her so much pain. Mulder never thought that the best way to protect her meant that he had to let her go. Shadows had begun to creep over the landscape, casting eerie shapes and lines across the grounds around the reflecting pool. She passed several benches, all empty. The weather was cold, and the sun was setting, so she wasn't surprised. The Jefferson Memorial had been similarly vacated. The air was silent, and Mulder was no where in sight. She sighed. 'Where is he?' Mulder glanced around the empty, darkened office. His anger had been replaced by an empty ache. He almost felt nauseated. His eyes passed over the chaotically covered wall. A shot from the moon landing, several shots of alien craft. His diploma from Oxford. He shifted his gaze right, and his eyes fell on the poster. "I want to believe," he mumbled aloud. He chuckled nervously, disgusted with the emptiness of the words. Suddenly a flury of anger surged from the center of his chest, anger at himself, and the futile quest his life had become. In a grand sweep of his arm, he ripped the poster straight down the middle, falling with a shred of paper to the ground. He then realized how much Scully meant to him. The feelings he had for her went beyond being partners and good friends. He had been afraid to tell her, waiting for the perfect time, but there wouldn't be a perfect moment. How many more times would she have to be hurt or her life threatened before he would muster the courage to confess his love for her? Besides, what did he have to lose now that she is going to resign? Scully went by Mulder's apartment. She knocked on the door. getting no answer, she let herself in with the key. He wasn't there and his place was in disarray as usual. She couldn't search this whole city hoping she'd run into him. Walking out and locking back up she thought he must be still mad at her and wouldn't be in the mood to talk so she decided to go home. An hour later, there was a knock at her door. Scully opened it only to find Mulder looking hurt and angry. He walked in and sat down on her couch. She followed him sitting down beside him waiting for him to tell her what was on his mind. "Mulder, I'm . . ." "No let me finish, please. I need to tell you this." Scully was silenced by his words. His tone of voice became more serious. "Scully, I wished things could have worked out differently, but I can understand why you want to leave. The things that have happened to you these past six years are more than anyone should ever have to go through in one lifetime. I'm responsible for all of it and can't help thinking that you shouldn't have been assigned to work with me on the X-Files. Knowing what I know now, I wouldn't have let you get anywhere near me. I wish more than anything that you could have a normal life safe from everything and everyone that could possibly harm or hurt you. I ...failed you and all I wanted to do was protect you and I couldn't even to that right." Mulder reached into the pocket of his suit jacket and pulled out the letter. He placed it on the coffee table in front of her and set a pen down beside it. Scully looked at it. He didn't understand. She started to say something to him, but he interrupted. "I wish that I was the one person that could have made you happy, Scully looked at it. He didn't understand. She started to say something to him, but he interrupted. "I wish that I was the one person that could have made you happy, Scully." Mulder began to touch her hair softly combing it back from her face. "I just want you to know that I ...care about you very much. I love you. Never forget that." Scully was unable to speak. Did she hear that right? Did he really say that? Tears began to surface. She wasn't going to leave him especially not after this. She loved him too much. Mulder waited, hoping she would sign the letter, or slap him, or do *something*, but she just sat there, staring down at the piece of paper she had written long ago. The pit of fear in his stomach swelled, as his eyes filled with tears. Scully looked up, her eyes filled with quite a different emotion. "I wrote that letter years ago when I wasn't sure if I could be your partner. There was a time I was thinking about a transfer. But that was a long time ago, Mulder. I don't want to leave the X-Files." She paused, knowing her next words would be irreversible. "I don't want to leave you." Mulder felt the tears of joy come to his eyes as well. She was staying. It was a long time ago. A misunderstanding! Now there was no turning back. he had told her how he felt. It was done. Scully reached for his hand squeezing it gently. "I'm not going anywhere, Mulder." She moved closer to him and he took it as a hint. Mulder framed her face in his hands and kissed her gently. Finally after all this time. She moved closer to him pressing her body against his which deepened the kiss. They were both surprised at the passion that was unleashed by it. However, neither wanted it to stop. It felt right. Scully gasped as he pulled away, startled at the lack of contact. She looked up cautiously, afraid at what thoughts might have stopped Mulder. But he was smiling. A grin she had never seen. One untainted by pain or guilt, but pure contentment. "Scully, I..." "I know." "No, let me say it." She stared at the dark brown pools of his eyes, waiting for him to continue. "Scully, I love you." She closed her eyes and smiled. "I love you too." He kissed her forehead, pressing his lips between her eyebrows. Then, stepping back and holding out his hand, he spoke. "Then show me." She took his hand and nodded. Walking to the bedroom, Scully couldn't believe this was actually happening. She would finally be able to feel Mulders hands all over her body. Touching her. Caressing her. She shuddered at the images it evoked, anticipating what she'd only dreamed. Scully all of a sudden felt nervous and excited at the same time. Mulder turned on the bedside lamp illuminating the room in a soft warm glow. He noticed how that simple act made her features look even more beautiful. Scully moved closer to him needing to touch him. She began to take off his suit jacket and unbutton his shirt loving the feel of his warm skin under her fingers. The shirt and tie fell to the floor forgotten. It still wasn't enough for her as she pulled the white undershirt off and over his head. She trailed her fingers down his chest. Slowly. Mulder stopped her by covering his hands with hers. "Your turn," he said, the passion evident in his voice. Scully reached down to the buttons on her blouse, but Mulder turned her hands away. Scully was trembling as he slowly removed her clothes, piece by piece, until she was standing before him with nothing left to the imagination. Mulder's eyes slowly slid over her body. She was even more beautiful than he thought. "You won't be needing those," Scully whispered, hastily unbuttoning Mulder's jeans and pulling them to the floor. Her hands were shaking as she slowly pulled down his boxers, heart pounding as he too joined her nakedness. Unexpectedly, Mulder chuckled as he pulled Scully by the wrists and fell backwards on to her bed. He stopped as her weight came on top of his own. Turning serious, Mulder stared deep into Scully's eyes, reading every emotion in the blue pools. "Scully.." "Yes, Mulder.." She silenced him with a deep kiss, moaning softly as Mulder's hands slid over her smooth skin, from the top of her back to the curves of her thighs. Scully broke the kiss, turning her lips instead to the soft skin of Mulder's neck, down to his collarbone and shoulders. She raked her nails softly across Mulder's exposed nipples, invoking a deep intake of breath from Mulder, whose eyes were closed in pure bliss. Suddenly turning up to kiss his chin, Scully spoke, "Tag, you're it." Mulder laughed softly as he rolled over on the bed. "A game, Doctor? You should know, I always win." "Shut up and kiss me, Mulder." Mulder did so without another word, exploring every crevice of Scully's silky mouth. Better than every fantasy, Mulder thought to himself. He sucked her lower lip gently into his mouth, then kissed her chin, moving lower onto her neck, down to her adam's apple. Mulder ran a hand through her soft hair just as he closed his mouth on her left nipple. Scully let out a yelp and arched to him, grabbing his hair with one hand, the bed sheets with the other. "Oh, Mulder!" she shouted. Scully twitched in pure euphoria, losing herself after so many years of anticipation. This was much better than she had imagined. She never thought his mouth would feel this good on her skin. This warm. Mulder circled her nipple with his tongue applying slight pressure which elicited another moan from her. Scully closed her eyes and arched her head back onto the pillows as his mouth became more demanding lightly nibbling at her breast. Her hand joined the other one to tangle in his thick hair. Mulder paid the same loving attention to her right breast. Sucking it gently between his lips. He could feel her writhing beneath him, her moans of pleasure arousing him even more, especially since he was the one causing her control to slip away little by little. Mulder wondered for a long time what it would take for Scully to lose control and now he knew. And he was the one responsible for it. Scully felt his mouth continue its journey down her body making it harder for her to think about anything else except the sensations of his mouth on her skin. She reached out for him, trying to clutch his shoulders before the pleasure threatened to send her over the edge. She wasn't sure how much more of this she could take. She wanted him now. And she had him, around her, on her, and inside her, breaking every fantasy to pieces with the extacy of reality. She pressed him against her as he slid in and out, in a deliciously smooth rhythm. She groaned his name into his ear, then backed away to relish the look of pure determination in his eyes. He was biting his lip as he sent wave after wave of sensation through her. Then, he opened his eyes, and it hit her, every pure emotion, from love, to desire, to friendship, to relief, to bliss and back radiated from the dark pools of his eyes. And she lost it, shutting her own eyes as she tightened on him, squeezing her thighs as the ripples of orgasm shocked her. She stifled a scream as Mulder kissed her neck. "Oh Mulder... you're.. I feel... so good, so good..." Mulder moaned as he thrust one final time, freezing every muscle as his own release radiated through him, from his belly downward to his toes. "Scully!" She squeezed him tighter inside herself as he came, holding his head in her hand while he crashed into her. Slowly he relaxed and stayed still, nearly immobile. Silence passed for a moment. "Mulder?" He let out a barely audible "mmph" against her neck, then brought his right hand up to caress her face. "That was..." "Indescribable?" She nodded, a smile crossing her face. Mulder stroked her shoulder absently. "I'm so glad we did this." "You're glad? How do you think I feel." "With any luck, spent." Scully growled, flipping over on top of Mulder, still nestled inside her. "Not a chance, G-man." * * * Scully snuggled closer to Mulder. Her lover, it dawned on her. First partners, then friends. Now lovers. This just added another facet to their relationship strengthening the bond even more, if that was possible. It was nice not to wake up in her bed alone; to have someone next to her. And not just anyone, but the man she realized she loved. Scully watched him sleep. He looked so peaceful now, the worry lines smoothed in the innocence of slumber. No one would guess all the inner demons he battled constantly. The part of him he tried to keep under control while continuing on this journey. She wished she could help him, do anything to ease his struggle. If only they hadn't waited so long. Her eyes filled with tears thinking about all the time they had lost. The time they could have been together physically; even if emotionally they already were. It shouldn't have taken a misunderstanding to bring herself this close to Mulder. Of all the things that happened between them over the years - good and bad - and it took a simple mistake to admit her feelings for him. Scully didn't even notice that Mulder had awakened. Embarrassment flushed her face, as she quickly tried to brush the tears away. "What's wrong?" Mulder asked her, his voice filled with the all to familiar concern. Scully turned to look at him. "It took us this long . . . why didn't we do this sooner? All the time we wasted when we could've been . . . together." she said blinking back tears. Mulder wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close. "Shh.. It doesn't matter, we're together now," he whispered into her hair, "Thats what matters. We can make up lost time." He smiled softly. She smiled back, and sealed their brighter future with a kiss.