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  ML's e-mail address has changed to: msnsc21@yahoo.com
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From: ephemeral@ephemeralfic.org
Date: 30 Aug 2001 05:33:48 -0000
Subject: It Was the Bubble Gum by ML by ML
Source: direct

Reply To: msnsc21@aol.com


Title:  It Was the Bubble Gum
Author: ML
Email: msnsc21@aol.com
Distribution: Ephemeral, Gossamer, if anywhere else, just ask!
Spoilers: small mention of Three of a Kind
Rating: PG-13
Classification: Humor, Vignette
Summary:  Just a little romp, filled with cliches and silliness.

Notes at end.

Disclaimer: The characters mentioned in this story are the property 
of TenThirteen, Chris Carter, Fox Broadcasting, and the actors who 
gave them life.  I mean no infringement, and I'm not making any 
money from this.


It Was the Bubble Gum
by ML

Scully ran her hands down Mulder's slick chest, smeared with 
olive oil from their little food fight in the kitchen just 
moments ago.  She giggled softly and pulled the string of 
bubble gum out from her lips and watched, fascinated, as it 
strung further and further away from her mouth, like gutta-percha
unwound from the center of a golf ball.  She stuck it on Mulder's
shoulder, and he stuck his on her shoulder, and they giggled 
together at their cleverness.

Mulder smiled loopily and did a little oil painting of his own, 
cursing a little when he found that Scully was now too slippery 
for him to get a grip where he most wanted to touch her.  She 
didn't seem to mind too much--his touch was enough to make her 
shudder and sigh against him.

Mulder kissed her and could taste the whipped cream on her lips.  
It only made him want to taste more of her.  He ran his lips down 
the side of her throat, seeking out any stray dollops of the 
sweet topping.

x-x-x

This was the scene Byers walked in on.  "Oh my God.  It's worse 
than I thought."

Byers stood in Scully's doorway, doing his best to avert his eyes 
while trying to figure out exactly what happened.  He still felt 
a little woozy himself from the aftereffects but he'd made 
Frohike drive him over.

The two on the floor were oblivious to their surroundings as they
concentrated on each other.

Frohike stood just behind Byers in the doorway, eyeing the two
half-naked FBI agents on Scully's living room floor.  "Guess we'd
better get the gum away from them," he said without enthusiasm.
"Though if I'm gonna get bitten by Scully, I'd rather it weren't 
like this."

"Has Scully ever bitten you?"  Byers asked Frohike.

"Of course not, why would she?" Frohike said.  "But I bet she has 
a grip like a bull dog.  A French bull dog."  He raised his eyebrows
and bared his small, crooked teeth.   "Grrr."

Startled, Byers gave Frohike a searching look.  "You didn't pick 
up any of that chewing gum, did you, Frohike?"

"Nah.  But I have a good imagination."  He grabbed the wads of 
gum, which had fallen on the floor and were in imminent danger of 
being stuck in some very inconvenient places on the two writhing
bodies.

"How in heck would you know how a French bull dog bites?"  Langly 
said as he came through the door.  He blanched and almost did an
about-face.  He was even more modest than Byers.  "Holy shit!  
What's got into them?"

"Byer's babe's bubblegum," Frohike intoned sadly.  "What a waste.  
Too bad Scully didn't come over with Mulder.  Could have been 
fun."

"Come on Frohike.  We've gotta do something," Byers said, still 
trying to keep his eyes averted.

"What?  Throw cold water on `em?  We couldn't do anything for you.  
It just hadda wear off," Frohike reminded him.  "Say, what possessed
you to go to that rave, anyway?"

Byers glared at him.  "If you'd taken the bus into the shop when 
you were supposed to, none of this would've happened!"

"It was Jimmy's job.  Can I help it if he got himself kidnapped 
again?  The big dope."

"Don't change the subject, Frohike..."

While Byers and Frohike argued, Mulder and Scully were getting 
more amorous on the floor.  Finally an especially loud moan drew 
the Gunmen's attention, and Byers dragged Langly and Frohike out 
of the living room and into the kitchen.

The kitchen was a shambles.  Streaks of flour decorated the 
cupboards and countertops.  A spray can of olive oil lay on 
its side by the sink, the golden liquid dripping slowly from 
its spout.  An aerosol can of whipping cream lay next to it, 
traces of the cream about its nozzle.  A bowl of berries sat 
on the table, unmolested except for one large bite out of the 
biggest strawberry.  A cooling rack of scones sat next to the 
bowl, and a smell of something burning emanated from the oven.

Byers grabbed a towel and pulled the rack of burnt pastries from 
the oven.  The acrid smell of burnt butter and sugar filled the 
air.

"I think we can figure out what happened here," Byers said 
solemnly.  "We can reconstruct the events from what we see.  
Mulder must have come over here after he left our office.  
Scully was, obviously, doing some baking."

Frohike reached out and broke off a piece of scone.  "Candied 
ginger.  Yum."

Byers smacked his hand.  "Mulder had already been chewing the 
gum, and he offered Scully some.  When he began to act strangely, 
it was useless for Scully to resist him.  He probably overpowered 
her."

"I don't think she put up that much of a struggle," Frohike 
said.  "Looks pretty mutual to me right now.  Why didn't the 
same thing happen to you?"

"I -- I don't really remember what happened," Byers said with a 
troubled look.  "I remember the bus stalling out, and this girl
stopping to ask if I needed a lift."

"I guess you never learned not to accept rides from strangers," 
Frohike said.

"Her name was Carrie," Byers said with dignity.  "I went to school 
with her mom, Dolores Claiborne.  I thought I could trust her."  
He muttered in a very low voice,  "She looked like Suzanne."

"A girl, half your age, driving a Plymouth Barracuda she named
Christine?  Who takes you to a club called The Dead Zone?  Are 
you nuts, Byers?  Mulder's always said, `trust no one,' and you 
even said it to him.  What got into you?"

"I should have taken her advice, but I thought she was joking," 
Byers said.  

"What did she tell you?"  

"'Never take candy from a stranger.'  And then she laughed."

"Well, you should never have left it lying around, Byers, that's 
for sure."  Frohike glanced through the door to the living room.  
"And Langly should never have offered them to Mulder."

"How could I know that Mulder was out of sunflower seeds just 
then?"  Langly said in an aggrieved tone.  "He doesn't usually 
chew bubble gum.  Besides, I'd had some, too.  I was drugged."

"No kidding," Frohike said.  "I guess I'm the only one with any 
brains in this outfit."  He jerked his head toward the door.  
"Looks like they've passed out.  Got any bright ideas?"

Langly shrugged.  Byers just looked stricken.

Frohike grinned.  "Cheer up, Byers.  Mulder probably won't kill 
you.  But Scully might."

The three men sat in the kitchen for a while.  Byers absent 
mindedly ate most of the strawberries while Frohike and Langly 
picked at the scones, and made a bigger mess in the kitchen.

The two agents in the living room slept on.  Every now and then,
one of the Gunmen looked in on them to make sure they were still
breathing.   Eventually, Byers found a cotton throw to put over
them for modesty's sake.  He shuddered to think what was going 
to happen when they woke up and found themselves in such a state.
Scully still hadn't quite forgiven him for Las Vegas.

After what seemed like several hours, Mulder and Scully started to
stir and moan again.  Byers recognized the symptoms and convinced 
the others that it was time to go.  They quietly sneaked out the 
back door before either of the agents knew they had company.

x-x-x

Mulder revived first, sat up, and very wisely wrapped Scully in 
the throw.  He sat on the floor, waiting for her to catch up to 
him.  His head, and other parts of his body, throbbed.  He 
couldn't decide if he was coming out of a really good dream, or 
what he remembered really happened.

Scully's first words were a groaned, "Oh my God."  She sat up too
quickly and swayed right into Mulder.  Unfortunately, at least 
from Mulder's perspective, she had the presence of mind to keep 
the throw wrapped around her.

"Mulder, what happened?"  She was having trouble meeting his eyes.

"I dunno, Scully, but the earth moved,"  he said solemnly.

"Did we do ... what I think we did, Mulder?"

"Dunno, Scully.  What do you think we did?"

Scully wrapped the throw around her a little tighter.  "Maybe it 
was a dream."

Mulder spread his hands out and gestured at his glistening chest.  
"I don't usually spread olive oil on myself when I sleep, but I 
suppose it could be true."

Scully unwrapped herself just enough to look at her own body.  
"Oh my God," she groaned again.  She stood up unsteadily, then 
swayed again and was just barely caught by Mulder's arms.  He 
picked her up and carried her over to the couch, settling in 
with her on his lap.

"Could have been worse, Scully," he said, nuzzling her ear.  
She went very still, but didn't pull away.

"I can't see how," she said without much conviction.  She didn't
exactly melt against him, but he felt her muscles sag just a
little.

"Could have been Frohike," he said.  That did the trick; Scully 
giggled and relaxed against him.  They sat for a while.  Mulder 
still felt lightheaded, but he was determined to take full 
advantage of an opportunity he'd waited a long time for.

"Can't fight City Hall, Scully,"  Mulder observed. 

"What's that got to do with anything, Mulder?"  She turned and 
looked at him with just the hint of a smile.  He could see a 
smear of cream at the corner of her mouth.

"I'm just saying ... no sense in letting an ... opportunity like 
this ... go to waste ..."  Mulder filled each pause with a kiss.  
"I think someone did us a huge favor here, personally,"  he told 
her, and kissed her again.

"Just remember, no good deed goes unpunished, Mulder," Scully 
reminded him as she kissed him back.

"Well, I'm ready for my punishment, Scully," he said tenderly.  
"Do your worst."

end.


This was written in answer to a challenge on the IWTB list.  
Elements:

1) One character does a good deed for another
2) Mention, or discussion, or use of character(s) from
Stephen King's work.
3) A Plymouth Barracuda
4) John Byers attending a rave
5) A French Bull Dog
6) Bubble gum
7) Balls of any kind
8) Olive oil
9) Scones
10)An original character who gives the character(s) in #1 some 
sage advice

All present and accounted for, in some form or another!
I hope you had as much fun reading it as I did writing it.
Feedback will get you virtual ginger currant scones!
mailto: msnsc21@aol.com

find my other stories at:
http://www.kimpart.com/mlfic.html