From: "Casey Fox" Date: Fri, 15 Dec 2000 15:27:01 -0500 Subject: Casey Fox 3 Source: direct "It's Gonna Be Me" By: Casey Fox Spoilers: One Breath, Milagro, Closure, Requiem (a little) Rated: PG 13 (Language, Adult Situations) Category: V Summary: Excerpts from Mulder and Scully's diaries, with a lot of insight into the thought of our heroes that you don't see on the show. Some scenarios are made up, and some are from the show. Enjoy. Author's Notes: This fic has not been Beta read. Any mistakes are mine and mine alone. Send all comments, flames, and other stuff to sculder_1013@hotmail.com ************** 11-14-94 Dear Diary: It's now been three days since Scully was found, and I don't think I've ever felt so many emotions at the same time. I was so scared that I was going to lose her. I was a mess. I didn't eat. I didn't sleep. To top it all off, I am completely and hopelessly in love with her. I think that is what scares me the most. Where would I be if something happened to her? God, she has NO idea how much she means to me. She's my partner, my best friend, and...she's my life. I would give up my quest for the truth for her any day. No aliens, cigarette smoking assholes, viruses, computer chips....NOTHING comes before my feelings for Scully. Mulder ............................................. 4-19-99 Dear Diary: I feel like I'm walking on air. Last night, after getting my heart played with by Padgett and almost ripped out by Naciamento, I cried in Mulder's arms for an hour. I was so scared. Mulder insisted that I not be alone and offered his bed for the night, and he would take his usual spot on the couch. We must have spent 3 hours talking before the inevitable happened. He kissed me. It was sudden, but it was the best kiss I ever had the pleasure of returning. I felt like all the loneliness disappeared. What happened next was completely impulsive on both of our parts, but well needed. We confessed our feelings for each other and we..well...had sex. Wonderful mind-blowing sex at that. God..I'm definitely going to hell now. Dana Kate ............................................. 2-14-00 (Valentine's Day!) Dear Diary: Yesterday proved to be trying for both Scully and I. After spending most of my adult life looking for my sister, I finally found her. Unfortunately, she's dead, but she's much happier now. Even though I am feeling more emotionally stable today, I had a major breakdown last night. Even through the thick and thin of the whole situation, Scully was still there for me. She held me in her arms and comforted me. Her words of courage and strength were like a huge band-aid for my soul. I am grateful for her and always will be. If anything, the "truth" is that Scully and I were destined for each other. I don't dare tell her, because she'd probably tell me that I was crazy. Shit...let's be honest. She's my soul mate. I am 100% hers and she is 100% mine. It may seem like bullshit to everyone else, but I believe. I believe that Scully and I were made for each other. We belong in each other's arms and in each other's lives. Spooky ............................................. 12-25-00 Dear Diary: Mulder is still missing. It's getting harder and harder to make it through this double occupancy pregnancy without him. Here I am, seven months pregnant, praying for a miracle. I found out that I'm having a girl and a boy. Her name is Elizabeth Hannah and his is Jason Carter. I don't even really know what last name they should have. I completely believe Mulder will be returned, so rationally I would think they should have his last name. That's my final argument. I am so sick of explaining my actions regarding their names to Billy. Mom completely understands, which I'm grateful for, so Billy's opinions don't technically count. Oh well. I just wish Mulder would come home so he could see how much I, Elizabeth, and Jason miss him and need him. Day ............................................. 10-13-05 Dear Diary: I don't know what I did to deserve the perfect live I have. I am married to the love of my life. Jay and Liz are the most precious children anyone could ever hope to have. Sometimes I pinch myself to make sure this isn't a dream. Once I assure myself that I am, in fact, not dreaming, I look at my loving family as an even bigger blessing. Fox Mulder has the wife, children, house, and happiness that he never thought he would or could have. Life is looking good and I'm looking forward to everything is has to offer. Papa Mulder ******************************** Please send Feedback! It feeds my creativity. If I don't know what sucks about my stories, then I'm just going to keep producing less than pleasing fanfic. Please don't let this happen. sculder_1013@hotmail.com. Thanks! "That was Detective Manners. He said they just found your bleepin' UFO." -Scully "Scully?" "Yeah?" "I love you." "Oh, Brother." -Mulder and Scully, Triangle