From: ephemeral@ephemeralfic.org
Date: Mon, 25 Oct 1999 22:33:22 -0500
Subject: REP The Janitor by Randi
Source: direct

Reply To: danasdds@yahoo.com


Title: The Janitor (1/1)

Author:  Randi

E-Mail:  danasdds@yahoo.com

Rating:  PG-13 

Classification:  MSR

Spoilers:   I don't think so.

Disclaimer: They are not mine, they are 1013's creation, I just
borrowed them.

Summary: On his last day at work, an old janitor reflects about
his life as a federal employee.  The Janitor is part of The Foxy
Files (www.angelfire.com/fl2/thefoxyfiles).   Enjoy it!  Feedback
will be greatly appreciated.

Special thanks to Live_a_lie.


The Janitor
by Randi


What a great day!  Retirement Day!  I have waiting years and
years for this dream to come true.  I feel happy, but at the same
time I feel sad.  

This morning I decided to go to work as earlier as possible. 
There were too many things to do.  After all these years I want
my reputation to be perfect as the first day I started working for
the federals.  For the last three weeks I have been training a
young man.  In my days no one needed a training.  He is good. 
He is young, smart, and strong.  He is going to marry soon. 
That's the reason he accepted this job.  He needs money.

Everything was normal until 4:30 PM.  Every single employee
of this building gathered at the conference room to say farewell
to their old friend.  I was surprised.  I never expected something
like this.  Gifts, gifts, and more gifts.  You never know how
many friends you have until the day you decide to retire.  Idiots! 
I'm still strong enough to clean this complete building twice a
day.

Oh!  The things that I have seen and heard in all these years. 
Many of the secretaries will miss me.  Mr. Gossip will be history
in a few hours.  I better go back to work, there are many things
to do around here and I must be sure that this young man knows
what he is doing.

He was suddenly interrupted by a sweet low voice.

"Hey, how are you doing today?"

"I'm fine, Doctor.  You heard the last gossip?"  She gave him  a
look'.

"Nope.  I just arrived to perform an autopsy.  Anything I should
know?"

"Today is my last day here.  I just bought the frame for my car's
license plate,  Retired.'"

"I'm glad for you, but I think I will miss you."  She was honest,
the only honest person in the building.

"I will miss you too, Doctor Scully."

"Good luck, old friend."  

"Thank you, Doctor Scully.  Hey, everybody left earlier today. 
Don't return home too late.  That's an order to a pretty lady." 
Before she left, she hugged him and kissed his forehead.

What an honor for this old man.  The beautiful doctor just
hugged and kissed me.  Ladies, you want a good one, the latest
gossip?  Too late.

I remember her when she started to work in this building.  A
doctor.  She came directly from the university.  Young,
innocent, beautiful, honest, and green.  Yes, green with capital
"G."  She was so innocent that she fell in love with one of her
instructors at the Academy.  Many times I saw him waiting for
her and then she came with that stupid grin in her face.  A kiss
here, a kiss there, and they finished with a passionate kiss.  

She was the youngest teacher and maybe that's why all the
students loved her.   I remember her beautiful smile and her soft
laugh.  She was the only doctor who smiled at me.  There were
times when she even shared her lunch with me.  A doctor.  What
are titles for?

Then she was transferred to the Hoover Building.  I heard that
things went bad and they returned her back to this ugly building. 
Her smile was gone.  I also heard that she felt in love again with
a weird man.  Gossips!  Gossips!  I love them.  The secretaries
told me that at the Hoover Building she was known as Mrs.
Spooky.

I'm an old man and I know about love.  Once I loved, and I
loved forever.  As soon as I saw her stupid grin again in her face
I knew she was in love.  He used to visit her very late, when no
one else was in the building except for the security man and
yours very truly, the janitor.  The famous Mr. Spooky in person. 
Mr. Little Green Man.  He also had that stupid grin in his face
when he was in the hallway, but as soon as she was around he
tried to hide it.  She did the same thing.

I was more stupid than both of them.  I always knew when he
was going to visit her and always left one of the back doors
unlocked for him.   That was our little dirty secret.  I learned to
recognize their language.  I thought that he was deaf and they
 spoke' in sign language.  They talked to each other in silence. 
The only physical contact was his hand on her back.  Idiot!  If
I were he, my hand would be more to the South, directly to her
butt.  She is small, but has a great butt.

Few months later, I heard that she disappeared.  God!  I heard
he went crazy looking for evidence trying to find her.  The last
 spooky' thing I heard is that she was kidnaped again and he
went to Antarctica looking for her.  Nobody believes them.  The
only thing I believe is that she is in love.  After all these years,
she has once again that stupid grin in her face.  

Keep moving.  All work is done.  You can go home and enjoy
your first night of retirement.  All I need is a beer.  

As I observe all the floors of this old, ugly building for the last
time, I stop in front of the door where Doctor Scully is
performing the autopsy.  I want to say good night to her, but I
don't want to scare her.  Must of the time she does her work
alone.  Well, after all she is Mrs. Spooky.  

Wait, I think I heard something.  I open the door slowly and
there she is:  talking to the body.  Oh, my God!  That's the body
of her partner.   From where I'm standing, I can see only her
face and her hands.  She is standing there, staring at his naked
body.  Touching every single cell of his dead body like she used
to do when she arrived for the first time here.  It seemed that she
was reexamining him over and over to memorize every detail of
his limp body.  

Oh, my God!  What is she doing?  She is naked!!!  Oh, Virgin
Mary!  I can't believe what my eyes are seeing.  She is gone
crazy!  She is insane!  Poor woman!  This woman needs help! 
She just  jumped over the table and straddled the body.  Jesus
Christ of Nazareth!  I can't!  I can't!  She is insane!  I don't
need a beer.  I need vodka!

"Slap!" The old man shut the door nervously and escaped
hysterically from the building.

"What was that?"

"Uh?"

"That sound."

"Uh?"

"Scully, you said it was safe to do this here, that nobody will be
around at this late hours.  What do you thing it was?"

"Coitus interruptus, Mulder..."


FIN