From: Leonora O'Reilly <gillyfanatic@yahoo.com>
Date: Wed, 11 Apr 2001 23:20:12 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: Janus 
Source: direct

Title: Janus
Author: Leonora O'Reilly
Summary: An ironic tale of obsession.
Disclaimer: I don't own Mulder or Scully. No copyright
infringement is intended.
Feedback: I adore feedback with all of my heart. 
E-mail me at gillyfanatic@yahoo.com    	
Author's note at the end.

**********************************************************************************************


Scully. There were times when he was just happy to see
her. She might be simply doing paper work or sleeping
next to him in the passenger seat. He'd smile to
himself upon occasion, just knowing that she was all
right. The fear was always there that something
horrible could happen. She might leave him. Disappear.
The thought haunted him. Sometimes it would hit him
all of a sudden and he'd call her. Each ring of her
cell phone seemed agonizingly long. As soon as he
heard her say "Scully" his whole body would relax. She
was still there. Still in one piece. Of course, it was
only a matter of time before she wouldn't answer. 

He'd find himself obsessing over her safety but
constantly hiding it. She would only be angry at him
for thinking of her as weak. She was strong and
independent. She didn't want him to worry about her.
He couldn't help it. He tried to tell himself that he
was being ridiculous- that she would hate him for
thinking these things. He didn't want her to hate him
but he'd suffer through it to keep her alive. 

Whenever he parted company with her his heart would
race. Would this be the last time he saw her?
Occasionally he would forget and they would leave each
other with tension between them. He felt even more
anxiety when this happened. Tonight he had left the
office feeling slightly nervous. He hoped she'd be all
right on the drive home.

He found himself thinking about her as he entered the
hotel. As he sat down at the bar next to a pretty
brunette, he kept reminding himself that everything
was fine. Ordering the brunette a drink and flashing
her a smile, he couldn't help but wonder if Scully was
home yet. Hopefully she was safe and asleep in her
bed. Bed. Good idea. The brunette agreed. Mulder
thought of calling her to make sure she was okay as he
entered Room 203. Wrapping his arms around Lily- yes,
he thought she said her name was Lily- he decided not
to call. If she was asleep he'd only wake her up. She
needed her sleep. She wouldn't want him to worry.
After all, he didn't want to do anything to hurt her.
He'd never do that.


Author's note:
This was inspired by a short story of the same title
by Ann Beattie. Janus is a Roman god of two faces. The
original "Janus" was the story of a woman's attachment
to a bowl given to her by her lover. I know that
sounds crazy but it was full of irony and that's what
I intended to do with this piece.
4/12/01