From: Jin Yan Date: Mon, 5 Feb 2001 21:34:05 -0800 (PST) Subject: submission Source: direct Title: Just another day arguing Author: VixenXXIII(not 23, it's 10_13) Category: V, MSR(just a dab), H(hopefully) Rating: PG for language Summery: Mulder and Scully have a dispute Disclaimer: Mulder and Scully are not mine. They belong the the holy CC and demons from Ten Thirteen and the tyrant FOX network. I'm poor, don't sue. Archiving: Keep my name. Feedback: Pie@hotvoice.com PLEASE! *********************************************************** "A phoenix?" "Yes a phoenix, you know the legendary bird that was born in fire." "I know the mythology Mulder. I just can't believe you think there's a phoenix out there. This has nothing to do with UFOs you know." "Who said a phoenix is neccessarily earth bound? If you have ever read the X-men, Scully, you'd know that a phoenix is actually an extraterrestrial organism that is nothing more than a ball of energy. It's mission is to protect a crystal that has some sort of mysterious healing power." "You read X-men. You, an Oxford-educated Ph.D. in philosophy, read X-men." "Why, yes, of course, Scully. Haven't you?" "Mulder," *sigh*, "no, I haven't read X-men. We were either too busy moving or I was too busy trying to prove to my brothers that I deserve some respect. Reading X-men was not an option." "Gee. I'm sorry Scully. I didn't know." Silence. After ten minutes... "Scully? Wanna go watch the new X-men movie?" "Mulder, keep your mind on the work. Now about this phoenix sighting, just exactly how accurate is it?" "Nag, nag, nag. Well, according to the file, it's a coupla hikers that spotted the phoenix rising from Lake Tahoe." "Hikers? Lake Tahoe? Oh, no, Mulder, you are not dragging me all the way to Tahoe just so you can look at something that a few delusional hikers claimed to be a phoenix. No way, no how!" "Actually, it's 'hiker'. The others won't support his theory." "Sounds like someone I know." "Oooo, Scully, are you coming on to me?" "When pigs fly, Mulder, when pigs fly." *Oink, oink* A pig flys by the X-files office window. .. "You were saying Scully?" "Stuff it." "In you?" "Mulder...if you don't shut your yap, you'll be missing certain appendages very, very soon." "Does this mean you'll touch it? I think I'm in heaven." "No, Mulder. After your castration, you will personally experience the ten different ways that exists in skinning a person." "Hurt me, Scully. I love it when you get kinky." *Whap* A folder smashed into the wall behind him and spilled it's contents on the floor. "Hey! I worked hard on that report." "Serves you right!" "Common Scully, don't you have a sense of humor?" "That was hardly humor, Mulder. That was just down right perverted." "Oh, this is coming from the Ice Queen?" "Why...you have no right to say that Mulder!" *Slam* The office door closed loudly behind her retreating figure. "Now what did I do?" An hour later... "Hi, Scully. Glad you came back." .. "You're not speaking to me are you." .. "I'm really, really sorry. Whatever I said, I take it all back." .. "I'll even buy you that tofu popsicle that you like so much." .. "Please Scully, promise I won't say anything again. I promise I won't every dispute your theory either." "Stop the kicked-in-the-ass-puppy-dog look Mulder. It's not saving you this time." "You wound me Scully." "So will castration." "Does this mean you forgive me?" "Maybe." "Will a hug help?" "Why don't you try it Mulder?" "Oooo, now you're really coming on to me." "You really want to be castrated don't you?" "No...not really, unless it's you doing it. Then I won't mind." "Shut up and just hug me and get it over with." *Hug* "You smell nice, Scully. Is it raspberry." "I'm surprised you know." "I know a lot of stuff Scully, just not what ticked you off so bad." *Bang* "AGENTS!" "Sir" "Sir" "What the hell are you two doing down here?!" "Nothing sir. Just trying to make ou...up with Agent Scully, sir." "We weren't doing anything against protocol sir." "Good. I want you two in my office in two minutes. And don't be late." "Yes, sir." "Yes, sir." *Slam* "Think we're in trouble, Scully?" "I'm not sure I want to think about it right now." "What do you want to think about?" "How I'm going to deal with Skinner." "Wanna know what I think about when we're up there with the AD?" "I'm afraid to ask." "I like to think about how a nice big burrito the size of his head would taste. I'd put some parprika on the edges to make it look more like Baldy up there and bite into what would be his cerebellum. Mm, mm, good." "Your sick, you know that?" "No, I'm feeling pretty good for once. I'm not in a hospital bed or anything." *Ding* Elevator doors open. "Actually the hospital gown is very becoming of you, Mulder." "Really? If I wear one to work, would you go out with me?" "No, I'd rather see you in it along with twelve dozen IV tubes sticking out of you." "Oh, I see, taking advantage of me when I'm weak eh?" "Mulder...does everything you say have to be an innuendo?" "Who said everything was an innuendo? I was serious about the date." .. .. "Oh." "Oh? That's it?" "Well, what do you want Mulder?! A big 'Oh, yes, I'd love that!'?..." *Ding* Four male agents are staring at her. "Oh, god." "So, Spooky finally made the move huh?" "No. Agent Scully is simply giving me a lesson in the female reaction to the question, 'Would you like a piece of chocolate cake after your lasagnia?'" *Stare* "Okay, whatever you say Spooky." *Scurrying of footsteps* "Nice save, Mulder." "No prob." "And I mean it. I'd love to Mulder." *Clunk* "Mulder? Mulder, if you don't answer me right now, the date's off." "6:00 tonight. I'll pick you up at your place." *Smile* "And Scully...?" "Yes, Mulder?" "Wear that really sexy black dress in the corner of your closet." -Fini okay, so what did you think? Email me with any comments!!!! Please!!!!! okay, that's about all.