From: Scully4946@aol.com
Date: Sun, 3 Jun 2001 15:55:44 EDT
Subject: Kibbles and Bits
Source: direct

Mulder's apartment
11:21 p.m. (hehe)

Special Agent Fox Mulder was in the middle of his daily mud bath ritual when 
he heard the distinctive screams of boys in the middle of their adolescence. 
He put on a towel and all he saw was a group of little boys chasing a poor, 
defenseless cat down the alley. He ran outside in a burst of boyish 
sensitivity towards the creature.
"Hey, you pompous little twits! You leave that poor thing alone!" Mulder 
yelled as the boys backed up against a dumpster in fright. If you don't know, 
it is not a very comforting sight to see a man half-naked and screaming like 
a constipated weasel. Not to mention that he was covered with mud. Once the 
stupid children ran away, Mulder picked up the cat and held it high above his 
head. "Greetings from planet Earth. Oh wait, thought you were a cockroach. 
Shows what happens when you have mud in you eyes. I think I'll name you 
Kibbles."

Scully's apartment
6:06 a.m. (hehe)

Special Agent Dana Scully had just woken up to get a bowl of Raisin Bran when 
she accidentally stepped into an alternate dimension. Once she regained her 
senses, she noticed a cute little dog munching on a pentagram. 
"Hmmm.....that's odd. I think I'll keep him and I'll name him Bits!" So, 
reinvested in the thought of owning another dog, Scully found some way to get 
back into reality. I can't remember how she did it, but she persuaded a 
magical whale to grant her that request. Unfortunately, severe consequences 
occurred after that. It just so happened that when she regained consciousness 
on her kitchen floor, the Smoking Man was hovering above her.
"AAAAUGH! Get out!" Then she rubbed her eyes and when her vision came into 
focus, it turned out that it was Mulder. "Ooops, what are you doing here, 
Mulder?"
"Oh, but I'm not Mulder!" the mysterious figure said. Scully then rubbed her 
eyes again and it turned out that it was Skinner.
"Skinner, what are you doing here?"
"Ok, this is getting old. This is your brother, Bill."
"Why are you here?"
"Just shutup! You know what? I can't take this anymore!" Bill Jr. screamed. 
"You don't know what torture I have to endure every single day. It just so 
happens that every time I try to kill Mulder, you or some annoying, sensitive 
fan of his ruins my attempts. I just have to say that if I can't kill him, 
then I'll settle for the next best thing!" Then Bill held up a gun just as 
Mulder (really. It's him) burst through the door and shot him in the 
shoulder. Then Bill said,"That's it. I will not rest until I ha....." It was 
then that he passed out from his overdose of Potassium Cyanide. Then Scully 
laughed as Bits started walking on top of him. I'm not sure how Kibbles or 
Bits have anything to do with this story, but it was a cool idea, right?

The moral of this story is to make sure that you buy Pet One for your 
precious animals. For it will make them live longer and all of that stuff.