From: Toma! Date: 26 Apr 1999 06:04:42 -0700 Subject: [xfcreative] Killer Kool-Aid, Sexy Waiters and Misunderstandings. 1/6 MSR Title: Killer Kool-Aid, Sexy Waiters and Misunderstandings Author: Toma E-mail: terrytoma@sprint.ca Rating: PG (Just some language) Category: S,R. Keywords: MSR Archive and Feedback: Yes and Yes. Just let me know, K? Summary: Scully's had enough. Disclaimer: I don't own 'em. Suing me would cost them more than they would get. Notes: A lot of this is completely implausible, but bear with me, I'm doing this for my own enjoyment and to learn. The ending isn't the best one around but it's all I could think of and I guess I just ran out of steam, if someone else wants to pick up where I left off please feel free. Besides the next step would have taken me into an area I'm not ready to travel yet. Speaking of which I would love to collaborate with someone that has traveled down that road. Best way to learn is to do, right? ;-) Anyway, I would love some *constructive* criticism, or just general views. To Meghan, Thank you so much for your hard work. I know I've already told you but hey, doesn't hurt to say it more than once. She's the one that made this readable. Killer Kool-Aid, Sexy Waiters and Misunderstandings. *~*~* J. Edgar Hoover Building Woman's Restroom Friday April 2nd 2:48 p.m. Dana Scully walked into the ladies' bathroom, shaking her head. "Met Online," she muttered to herself, almost disbelieving. It had taken her months, maybe years to gain Mulder's trust and acceptance. Then she finds out he turned it all over to some anonymous woman without even a second thought. Just when she thought she had all the rules and regulations figured out in this complicated partnership of theirs he goes and rearranges everything. Lately it seemed he was pushing her further and further away both personally and professionally, running hot and cold and changing his mind every 5 minutes. Her head was beginning to spin trying to keep up. At some point last spring she had finally thought things were coming to a head for them with the hallway thing and then Antarctica. Now she was almost positive she had been dead wrong. How she could have been so wrong, she still wasn't sure, but it was becoming more obvious by the day. Although she believed he must have been at least entertaining the thought that they might become more, in the end he must have decided it wasn't what he wanted. Enter Diana Fowley. Never in all their years as partners had she ever felt as far from Mulder as she did that night in the Lone Gunmen's office, not even in the first months of the partnership together. Back then she had had at least the hope of gaining his trust and respect. Now, after everything, she had gone through and done, for him, he had treated her with disrespect and tossed her aside like a disobedient puppy when she dared challenge Fowley's intentions. That was the last straw, she had done anything and everything humanly possible to show him what he and the work meant to her, all for not. It was time to face facts, and the facts were that she had no place in his personal life. That was solidified when she found out he was seeking companionship online. After the night in the Gunmen's office she was slowly realizing she may not even hold a place in his professional life anymore either. How could they work effectively as a team without the trust she was so sure they once shared, that she at least relied on? It had been three days since the Detweiler case and he still had yet to mention it. Other than a few questions for the report she hadn't either. When she thought back to those couple of days she cringed. Her behavior at the height of her frustration had been less than professional, that somewhat scared her. Dana Scully - emotionless, stone faced ice queen. Unfortunately those facades fell like cement at the mention of Karin the online 'friend'. Suddenly she felt herself becoming overly territorial, and the claws came out full force. Mulder didn't even notice. Whether it was the case that had held his attention or the woman in question was another mystery destined to remain unanswered. It made her believe it was time to let it all go. Whether or not she could was another story. Coming out of her reverie, she realized she'd been standing in the stall staring at the wall in front of her for far too long. Giving herself a mental shake, she finished her business and went out to the sinks to wash her hands. She looked in the mirror in front of her and examined her face for any changes. Her hair was a mite more dull than the usual copper, instead it was more of a muted brown that had lost its shine. Her eyes also had lost the once bright blue twinkle, they were now empty and hollow like she felt. Was this just a reflection of her hopelessness or was this all really affecting her health? A slight squeak from the door announced a new arrival in the women's bathroom. Turning her head slightly in that direction, she noticed Holly, one of the few people at the bureau she could consider a friend. "Dana!" Holly smiled. Scully scrutinized her for a moment and wondered what it would be like to have a normal life, one with nothing more than the regular everyday problems to worry about. Holly was a petite brunette who always seemed to have a bounce in her step, with eyes that didn't hold that lifeless sheen that Dana's seemed to have permanently acquired. A life with no conspiracies, no mutants, no bugs and no constantly watching over your shoulder. She saw in Holly what she desperately wanted. She sighed and covered it with a big and very fake smile. "I haven't spoken to you in ages! Ever since you and Mulder got the files back you're constantly on the go. How is it going?" The last was asked quietly. Holly not one to stick her nose in but a very observant person had noticed the strain between the partners. She used to have high hopes for the two. They used to be so close and had something so special she could only dream that one day she would find something half as good. Those hopes were fading fast. "I'm doing okay, Holly. And you're right Mulder and I have been very busy lately you know with all the extra terrestrials, government conspiracies and all," she said with a snort. Holly noticed the sad smile that Scully was trying very hard to improve upon and made a quick decision. "You know, Dana, you look like you could use a break. Me and the girls are meeting tonight at 8, want to join us? Just a few drinks, some light conversation and leaving the rest of the world behind. It might do you some good." Scully thought about it for a minute. Maybe she could lose her self in inane conversation and alcohol for one night. What harm could it do? Maybe it was just what she needed. Her smile grew and she agreed, asking for details. "Great! Meet us at the Drover pub around 8. You'll have a great time." She didn't wait for anymore response, worried that Dana might suddenly change her mind, she turned on her heel and went in search of another restroom. End of 1. J. Edgar Hoover Building Mulder's Office Friday April 2nd 3:05 p.m. Mulder was sitting at his desk contemplating their latest case. How could he have been so stupid as to trust someone he barely knew? His behavior as of late was completely unlike him and he knew the reasons - in one word, Scully. Last spring they had been closer than ever, sharing, trusting and generally very close to crossing that invisible line in the sand. He was terrified the repercussions of that would be irrevocable, but he had been lost in the moment at that time and didn't even see what was happening right under his nose. When he finally realized the way things were heading, that the inevitable was finally coming to pass, he forced himself to pull back. To push Scully as far away as he could without making her leave permanently. Although he was now afraid he had been overzealous in that department and one of these days he would walk in to find her transfer request sitting on his desk. The problem was no matter how far or how hard he pushed there was no escaping what was truly there. All he really was accomplishing was hurting the person he cared for most in this world. Diana and Karin had been distractions sought out and failing miserably. That fateful night in the Lone Gunmen's office he was sure he had found the perfect way to ease Scully far enough away to get some reprieve from the ache inside. All it had accomplished was to put that sad look in Scully's eyes. He then sought out another way to find some relief. The Gunmen were always telling him how relaxing the internet was - no time restraints, there at the flick of a button and completely anonymous. He thought of it as a way to talk to people without repercussion, telling them only what he wanted them to know. He thought he had found a perfect way to be able to sort through his feelings with no fear of Scully ever finding out. He met Karin in a professional singles chat room. He never intended to meet her in person so he had let himself go a little, talking about Scully once in awhile although never revealing what she truly meant to him. His plans of anonymity had failed when Karin e-mailed him about the case. He wrestled with himself for all of five minutes before he had groaned and realized that no matter what he just didn't have the willpower to pass up a possible X-File. They had flown to Los Angeles, Scully unusually distracted - it seemed to help her forget her regular fear of flying. Barely 5 sentences passed between them on the seemingly never-ending flight. That was the norm these days, they never talked anymore. Not unless it was about a case and was a necessary evil. He had thought this was what he had wanted to accomplish, but now that it was happening the ache simply grew instead of lessening. Late night or weekend phone calls were now limited to work-related topics only, no more calls to simply ask how the other was doing or to curb the nightmares. It was killing him. He almost couldn't bear to be around her anymore. The hurt he saw in her eyes cut him so deeply he feared he would drown in the blood. To know that he had caused it only made it a thousand times worse, causing him to feel nauseous. Apparently all his hard work was paying off, but God how he wished he could take it all back. How could he make it right? How could he change the last 6 months? His wants of what seemed like eons ago were now thrown out the window, the pain was quickly overtaking the fear. He may have been able to handle his own pain simply grinning and burying it but every time he looked at Scully and saw the desolate look that was caused by the tear in the partnership he died a little more inside. Razor blades tore up his insides at every glance, with every darkening of the circles beneath her eyes and every pound she shed. It was just too much anymore. He had to fix this. With his new resolve firmly in place he spun around in his chair to stare at the new poster behind him. Thinking about how the hell he was going to fix the possibly lethal amount of damage he had caused. Looking back to the last case, he remembered Scully's behavior. She had been downright bitchy towards Karin, something he rarely saw in her, but he knew the reason for it. She saw something that he had been oblivious to, an apparent threat to his well being. He would have done the same thing, but it was still so unlike her to be blatant about something like that. Maybe he had caused more damage than he thought. Sighing he still sat transfixed by the poster as he heard Scully enter the office. "Hey Scully," he said without turning around. "The meeting with Skinner didn't go as bad as I thought. Think he's glad to have us back?" Scully stopped mid-stride to stare at her partner's back, trying to figure out the soft timbre to his voice, the one that usually made her forgive him instantly. But this time he wasn't going to get away with everything that happened that easily. That soft voice that normally made her melt inside only infuriated her now. She had felt bad for him after the case and softened somewhat to help try and relieve some of the guilt he was feeling. Later that night, alone in her apartment, she had gone over everything that had occurred over the last few months, every hour of every day she played over in her mind since Antarctica and with each of those memories her hurt grew. What hurt most was that she couldn't really figure out why, just when things should have been better than ever, he decided he no longer needed or wanted her. Well whatever it was he just couldn't make that all go away. She looked around the newly refurbished office. Still no second desk and still no name plate that should have told her everything she needed to know right there. No matter how much she hurt though, for some reason she just couldn't make herself walk away. It was almost as if there was an invisible thread holding her to him. Maybe she was a masochist and just figuring it out now. With a snort of self disgust she avoided the friendly question, her resolve to make him hurt as much as she did in place. No matter how petty that was, she couldn't help it, the senselessness of it all making her feel ill. "Look Mulder, I'm heading out early. I have some personal things to take care of and I'd appreciate if you would leave me to them." Mulder spun around in his chair, stunned. Not because she was leaving early but at the tone of her voice and the words she had just spoken. At his startled stare she elaborated. "What I mean is if a case comes up don't call me. If it can't wait 'til Monday you'll just have to take care of it yourself. I have plans." Mulder simply continued to stare, wide-eyed. Not only was she giving him her full permission to ditch her but the ice in her voice scared him. "A...Alright. Scully, is everything OK?" he asked cautiously, a slight tremble in his voice that seemed too much to control. "No, Mulder everything is not alright, but hopefully it will be. " She turned and headed out the door before she lost her control and ended up a heap on the floor. Mulder couldn't move, couldn't speak and almost forgot to breathe as he stared at the back of the office door Scully had just shut in his face, thinking to himself, Oh God what have I done? End of 2. Dana Scully's Apartment 6:55 p.m. After leaving the office she had headed straight toward the nearest mall. Shopping always helped to make her feel better and it seemed it had been ages since she had lost herself in the mindless task. Wandering the brightly lit halls of the mall and searching through the endless racks in the boutiques did manage to lift her spirits, if only a little. Now she was in the middle of donning the outfit she had purchased for this night. The green silk shirt clung to her curves as she fastened the buttons, the soft shiny material felt cool but luxurious against her skin. She looked at the three quarter length sleeves and turned in front of the mirror to give the blouse a more critical look. She nodded to herself and undid one more button, leaving a daring three open. She was satisfied that the green silk gave off the effect she was looking for. Overtop her black sheer stockings she pulled up the expensive skirt she had spent far too much money on. It wasn't something she could wear to the office, making it a probable one time wear, but she didn't care. The shimmering knit black fabric had an elasticity that made it mold to her body - just what she needed. It was in league with this year's style by being mid calf length but had a slit up the back that went up just past the underneath of her knees, showing off her calves when she walked. Along with the black sandal-type heels she thought the outfit went together perfectly, elegant but a little more daring than she was used to. After agreeing with what she saw in her full length mirror she made her way to the bathroom to start the hair and makeup process. She put on a little more makeup than usual and was a little bolder with her color choices. Then she turned to the problem that was her hair. A new short cut made it difficult to wear more than the one style. Nevertheless the green collar on her blouse screamed wanting to show off her neck, the color enhancing the white skin perfectly. So with a few combs and pins she swept it up in a matter of minutes, curling the shorter strands around to frame her face. Satisfied she looked to the clock. Seven o'clock. A few more minutes and it would be time to head out. Grabbing her small black purse she stuffed in what she would need for the night and picked up the phone to confirm the directions. ~zZz~zZz~zZz~zZz~zZz~zZz~zZz~zZz~zZz~ Drovers Pub 8:15pm Dana Scully pushed open the door and almost choked on the thick smoke that filled the air. The place was dark, making it hard for her to find the parties in question. She glanced around the room, spotted 4 women sitting around a table and recognized Holly. Deciding a drink was indeed needed to get the night rolling she headed towards the bar and placed an order, pointing the table out to the bartender. Then she went to join them. Holly looked up as Scully approached. "There you are! I was worried you had changed your mind." Scully noticed Holly's genuine smile and smiled back at the friendly woman, thanking the gods that at least someone had noticed she needed a break. "Hi, sorry I'm late but you wouldn't believe the amount of traffic there was this time of night. Must be all the people heading to their cottages, getting ready for summer." Holly nodded her head in agreement. "Well have a seat and I'll introduce everyone." She motioned to the table. Before she had even finished seating herself Holly broke into the introductions. Pointing to the slender blonde to her right she started. "This is Carrie, she's a clerk down in transport." Scully smiled to the seemingly shy blonde, and turned to the next person at the table as Holly continued. "This is Lela." She pointed to a tall busty brunette that unfortunately reminded her too much of Pheobe and Diana to be of any comfort. "She's SAC Green's secretary, or personal assistant as they like to be called," she said with a sly grin towards Lela. Lela simply glared back at Holly and stood to shake Scully's hand. As Scully turned to the next woman at the table her breath caught. Damn! This night was supposed to be about forgetting work and there sat Kim the AD's 'Personal assistant'. "And I'm sure you are acquainted with the last of the group?" Holly asked, looking at Scully, and saw the tension develop in her body. Kim noticed it as well and tried to put Scully at ease. "Dana I assure you that *anything* said or done here tonight does not leave this table. That's one of the rules to these little excursions. Please don't let my presence bother you. I'm here to let my hair down as much as you are." Kim didn't want to be the cause of ruining her night out, after all she probably knew more of the problems plaguing Scully than anyone else at the office, besides the AD, of course. Scully let out the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding and her body visibly relaxed. "Thank you Kim, I really do appreciate it. I really think I need this tonight." Holly and Kim nodded their agreement as well as the other two women at the table. Although they had never met Scully before, she and her partner were legends of their own amongst the clerical staff. From what they'd heard she could definitely use some down time. With a happy sigh Scully started to wonder where the drinks were, as the waiter finally decided to grace them with his presence. Walking up to the table with a tray of drinks he began to distribute them. All eyes around the table grew wide. "I take it you reallllllly wanted to let you hair down Dana?" Lela asked with a laugh as three shooters and some red concoction was placed before each of the ladies. Scully blushed a little "I think that can be arranged," Kim quickly announced before Dana could become uncomfortable. Dana's grin grew as she turned to pay the waiter. When she turned she noticed for the first time the waiter was gorgeous, dressed in tight faded blue jeans and a white, very tight T-shirt that made the muscles in his chest unbearably noticeable. The sandy blond curls, deep green eyes and tanned skin didn't help matters either. Not the kind of guy you wanted to spend the rest of your life with but definitely one you could spend a few hours in bed with. With a gulp she reached one hand into her purse for the money while the other reached towards the table for the first shooter of the evening. As the alcohol warmed her insides she handed the money to the statuesque man before her and graced him with a thousand watt smile which he quickly reciprocated with a wink and walked away. "Whoa," Dana exclaimed as she glanced around the table to get the other women's reaction. They all sat dazed, mouths open eyeing, the retreating backside. "Looks like Mulder's got some competition," Lela said, breaking the silence. No one answered, all turning to stare at her. Not even here 15 minutes and someone had to go and bring up Mulder. Lela looked around the table, not being able to figure out her faux pas. Scully, determined, to have a good time tonight, changed the subject quickly. "Drink up everyone, these drinks cost a fortune and I will not have them go to waste," she said with as much of a smile to her voice as she could muster at that particular moment. They each finished off their third shooter and slammed the shot glasses down onto the table. "OK now what exactly is this?" Carrie asked eyeing the red drink before her. Scully grinned at the question. "It's called a Killer Kool-Aid, very good and very potent. The last time I drank these was in college. I woke up the next morning on the bathroom floor of my friends' dorm room and barely remembered a thing from the night before! I just thought it would be appropriate for tonight," she finished off staring at the drink. Everyone stared at the remaining drink before them, grabbed it and guzzled it down in about 5 seconds flat. As they finished, they stared at one another peels of laughter falling over the table. "It's good to know I'm not the only one with problems," Scully exclaimed after the laughter had somewhat died down, then raised her arm to call the succulent waiter back over. Kim looked at her sadly. " No Dana you aren't the only one but at this moment I think yours surpass everyone else's here." At that statement Holly also gave her a knowing smile. Scully sighed, feeling the alcohol loosening her up, she addressed Kim. "It's not that bad really, Kim, nothing we won't get past." She tried to sound convincing, not wanting to bring up the depressing topic. "Like hell it isn't that bad Dana. I've been with the AD since before you were assigned. I may only be a secretary but I see what's been happening. Mulder is being a prick, treating you like shit. That Fowley bitch is just dying to get her hands on him , and from what I can see he almost seems to be letting her. What the hell is wrong with him? Even *I* can see she's up to no good! If he can't see what he's got sitting right in front of him maybe he doesn't deserve you Dana." She finished her tirade and took in a deep breath. "Sorry, I guess that was a little uncalled for." "Maybe you're right," Scully muttered under her breath. During the outburst Carrie had ordered for the rest of them and the waiter had returned with another shooter and Killer Kool-Aid for each of them. Apparently even though the blonde was shy she was perceptive, everyone needed the drinks. Scully threw back the shot, trying to buy some time to gather her thoughts. "It's OK Kim, I do see where you're coming from but it's not really like that between Mulder and me. It's not the romantic interest that bothers me. It's the fact that he seems to have placed more trust in her than he has in me." Holly rolled her eyes while Kim tried to understand what she was hearing. She couldn't possibly believe what she was saying - maybe - she just didn't want to reveal too much to co-workers, so she tried to draw her out. "Remember Dana, *nothing* leaves this table," she said as she trapped Scully's eyes. Maybe I should slow down on the drinks, Dana thought as she blurted out, " Alright, you're right, it's bothering the hell out of me! 6 years of trust and waiting only to be tossed aside for some two-faced bitch!" She covered her mouth quickly - a little too late, as she realized the words were spoken aloud. But as she looked at everyone she saw the knowing nods and began to feel a little more at ease. "I always thought that one day it would be right for us, but now I'm beginning to realize that he never had those intentions. It hurts like hell." "I'm off to the ladies room, back in a few," Kim said as she stood and glanced around the table to the quiet women. "Alright Dana, enough of the depressing conversation, no more talk about work or Mulder. Agreed?" Scully looked up to Holly and nodded enthusiastically and with a large voice she called, " Where the hell is that impeccable specimen that is posing as a waiter?!?" The mood was lifted and the women picked up the laughter as the waiter strolled back to their table. "You called ma'am?" he said whispering into Scully's ear as she turned 15 shades of red. "Uh... another round please," she answered a little more quietly. The last of the sentence was drowned out by the band that had begun to play, but he seemed to get the idea. Before running off to grab the drinks he leaned down once again and said, " You know, those of us that are posing as waiters do get breaks now and then. How about a dance later on?" Scully glanced up at him, feeling her flush deepen, she slowly shook her head in the affirmative. He stood and smiled. "Good I'll just go grab those drinks for you fine ladies now." She turned back to the table to see the huge smiles of the rest of her squad and the unanimous "Hoo Boy!" started off yet another round of laughter. End of 3. Fox Mulder's Apartment 8:45 p.m. Mulder lay back on his couch thinking about Scully's behavior. He was worried that things had gone beyond fixable. The final words spoken between them made him fear he was all too right. A dark feeling of forbidding settled over him, a funk that nothing he would normally do seemed to be able to lift. The Gunmen had called him earlier to invite him out for a beer or two and a discussion on the latest conspiracies. He had passed, knowing that nothing he did right now was going to get him out of his mood and not wanting to subject his friends to it. 'What a mess,' he thought to himself. What the hell was he going to do? Help, he needed help. Reaching for the phone he punched in a number that he very rarely dialed. Probably not the perfect person to bring into this scenario. But really, what choice did he have? The Lone Gunmen were out - the day he took advice on relationships from them was the day he would officially announce himself a lost cause. Them and the person who was now answering the phone were about the only friends he had, so this was it. "Um... Sir, hi, it's Mulder." He said, beginning to rethink his position. Ah Hell, Skinner could keep a secret, he'd proven that more than once. He also knew he could trust him with this. Secretly he knew Skinner was pulling for them and right now he needed all the cheering he could get. "Mulder? Something I can help you with?" Skinner replied, questioning. "Ah yeah, but Sir this is personal. I was wondering if I could talk to you." "OK" he drawled, not comprehending. "Um, Kim keeps telling me about this Pub a few blocks away from the Hoover, wanna join me there for a drink?" Skinner asked, still wondering what this was about. "That would be great Sir, see you there in an hour?" Skinner gave him the address and Mulder rushed to pull on some jeans and head to his car. ~zZz~zZz~zZz~zZz~zZz~zZz~zZz~zZz~zZz~ Drover's Pub 10p.m. After discussion of work and Mulder was outlawed Scully found herself having a great time. She had more alcohol in her system right now than she had had in general over the last few years and it was helping immensely to loosen her up. She learned more about the women she was with, they laughed, told jokes, did a little male bashing -- and admiring -- and generally just let loose. She couldn't remember the last time she had let herself just be Dana, not Special Agent Dana Scully MD. When all the extra titles were removed from her name the rest of the stuff went with them too, the walls, the paranoia, and the emotional scars fled. Leaving only the woman behind it all, the fun loving and caring Dana. Dana was the woman she used to be before the conspiracies, the million near death experiences and before Mulder. The woman that loved and enjoyed life, and for at least tonight she was back. For the first time in a long time she was laughing all out belly laughs. It felt good. It felt good to let go and just be, even if it was only for a little while. The fact that she was three sheets to the wind probably helped a little, but she didn't care how or why it was happening. She was just glad it was. The pulsing beat of the band changed into a softer smoother beat as a slow song began to ring from the band's amplifiers. At that moment the subject of a lot of tonight's discussion came back to the table and held out his hand to Dana in a silent request for the dance earlier promised. Dana grabbed his hand before she had time to change her mind and followed him out to the dance floor. He pushed them past the many couples on the floor and stopped in the middle to turn to her. He placed his arms around her waist and began to sway to the slow melody. The alcohol in her system lowering her inhibitions caused her to reach up and place her own arms around his neck, and she leaned her head into his chest to stop the slight spinning of the room. Closing her eyes, she began to imagine the man holding her as Mulder and snuggled a little closer, her foggy brain losing a little of its grip on reality. ~zZz~zZz~zZz~zZz~zZz~zZz~zZz~zZz~zZz~ Skinner stood outside the pub dressed casually in denim, leather, cotton and cowboy boots, waiting for Mulder. He had said an hour and it was now going on an hour and a half later. He began to worry, could this have something to do with a case and he just didn't want to be overheard on the phone? His worry faded as he saw the man himself turn the corner. "Sorry about that... traffic was a bitch," he said as he walked up. "No problem Mulder, but what the hell is all this about?" Mulder looked down to the pavement, not knowing quite where to start, so he motioned for them to enter the bar. Pushing open the door, he made a quick sweep of the dark room and stopped dead in his tracks. There in the middle of the dance floor was Scully practically molded to an extremely good-looking guy. Eyes closed swaying to the slow song and a small smile playing about her lips, she looked like she was in heaven. What the hell? he thought to himself and turned to the men behind him. "Uh maybe this wasn't such a good idea," he said to Skinner, his heart falling to his toes. Skinner looked at him curiously, then glanced over his shoulder to see what had caused the sudden change in mood. What he saw surprised him a little - not the fact that she was with someone per-se, but the fact that it wasn't the man that was standing at his side really did shock the shit out of him. "Mulder, maybe we should stay and keep an eye on her. She looks a little unsteady." Skinner was glad to see Scully looking happier than she had as of late but was a little worried she would do something rash with everything that was going on. Besides, these two belonged together. He couldn't fathom what was happening. Mulder turned to look at Scully again and cringed when he saw the man caressing her back. Maybe they should stay, just to keep an eye on her of course. "Alright, but I don't want to bother her. Lets just get a table near the back," he told him. ~zZz~zZz~zZz~zZz~zZz~zZz~zZz~zZz~zZz~ Kim turned to Holly and pointed out the two men standing in the entry way, then she pointed out Dana and the yet-to-be-named waiter on the dance floor. Holly frowned. Uh oh, she thought, trouble was a-brawn'. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. To hell with it. Dana deserved to have some fun and if Mulder doesn't like it, screw him. Kim was right, if he couldn't see what was right in front of him maybe he didn't deserve her. She watched Mulder's face drop, the hurt she saw could have been scooped up and packaged. Shit. She watched as the two men seemed to be in the middle of a discussion, probably deciding whether to stay or go, and was partly relieved, partly afraid as they moved to a table in the far back corner. They proceeded to order drinks, Mulder never taking his eyes off the compact body of Dana Scully. The next question on her mind was whether or not to tell Dana that Mulder was here. She decided to play it by ear for now and see how the rest of the night went as the slow song rolled out its last notes. ~zZz~zZz~zZz~zZz~zZz~zZz~zZz~zZz~zZz~ "Well, my break's over but if you're interested I'd love to meet you after my shift," the waiter told her. At the sound of his voice Scully was pulled from her daydream and frowned at the fact that she couldn't pretend it was Mulder anymore. She didn't know how to reply - sure he was gorgeous, but was she ready for something like that? She agreed while deciding if she changed her mind she could just slip out early. Then made her way, stumbling only once or twice, back to the table. The mood around the women had been subdued during her jaunt on the dance floor. As she wondered why they seemed to shake it off and looked to the man still holding Dana's hand for another round of drinks. End of 4. E-mail: terrytoma@sprint.ca "Hey Mulder, this isn't like Scully," Skinner stated, concern evident in his voice. Mulder tore his eyes away from Scully to address him, "No it isn't like her at all , but she's been acting out of character more and more lately." He seemed to grow more depressed as he stared down into his beer. "What's going on Mulder?" he asked softly. "I screwed up, as usual." he replied and explained a little to Skinner. Diana, Karin, the Gunmen's office fiasco, Skinner's face grew more grim with each sentence. Not even attempting to dispute Mulder he nodded and muttered almost inaudibly, " That you did Mulder," and then a little more loudly he said, " Maybe it's time to stop screwing up and fix it." Staring Mulder directly in the eye. "You're absolutely right but how the hell do I do that? I screwed up bad. I've hurt her more over the last few months than I care to admit and now I don't know how to fix it, trust me I've been thinking about it. That's why I called, I was hoping you could help." "Admitting that to her might be a start Mulder," Skinner's voice of reason answered him. " It might not fix everything that's been done, but at least it's a start." Mulder looked up wondering if she would even listen if he tried, after everything he'd done..... Downing some liquid courage he motioned for Skinner to follow him and stood to join the women across the room, if they'd let them. ~zZz~zZz~zZz~zZz~zZz~zZz~zZz~zZz~zZz~ Approaching the table Mulder heard a particularly raunchy joke coming from none other than Scully's mouth and nearly choked on the surprise. Her words were slurred but he would never mistake that voice. Apparently having a sailor for a father hadn't escaped her. The laughter that followed almost made him re-think his idea of announcing his presence - too late, Holly had already noticed him and smiled. Scully was still laughing, oblivious to his presence behind her, and jumped as a hand landed on her shoulder. The laughter stopped abruptly as everyone around them waited to see her reaction. When she turned around she gasped. "Mulder what the hell are you doing here?" she gritted out. Uh oh coming over here. bad. idea. "Well hello to you to sunshine," Mulder ground out, trying to hide the hurt. "Believe it or not Skinner and I decided to do some male bonding and come out for a few drinks, saw you and decided to come over and join you. That's if you don't mind?" She obviously did mind, obvious by the glare he was receiving but decided there was no way in hell he was letting this chance slip away. Kim answered before Scully could. " We don't mind at all Agent Mulder. Sir nice to see you. Grab a chair guys. " Introductions were made and Scully sat quietly fuming wondering why she couldn't just have one night. One night to let loose and forget! She did not want to sit here watching Mulder stare at Lela's chest. Right at this moment that was not something she could take. Conversation resumed, no one noticing that neither Scully nor Mulder joined in. ~zZz~zZz~zZz~zZz~zZz~zZz~zZz~zZz~zZz~ The people seated around the table were trying very hard to ignore Mulder and Scully's somber moods. Even Skinner was getting into the swing of things, pounding back the pints of draught like water. He also hadn't been out in a long while and found he was enjoying this. If it wasn't for the two silent agents he would be having a perfect time. As it was though everyone tried to get passed it and continued with the jokes. Scully heard a deep baritone laugh and it broke her from her silent fuming. She looked up to see that the sound had come from Skinner and couldn't suppress a small smile of her own. Not realizing until just then that she had never once heard the AD laugh. It was a nice sound, breaking her from the funk she was in. Mulder too looked up and laughed, not at the joke but at the sight of the AD having a good time. He noticed Scully's smile and with his eyes pleaded with her to let it all go for now. She wasn't buying it. The minute he looked at her the smile fell and she returned to staring at her glass. The band finished a song and the bar was silent for just a moment before the lead singer announced, "Last call". The hustle of people rushing to the bar and patrons calling to the waiters broke that silence. She looked up to see the bronzed God leaning over her and decided to play this for all she was worth. Take that Mulder! You wanna throw women in my face? Two can play at that game. Mulder watched with rapt attention as Scully pulled herself up a little, and draping one arm over the man's shoulder pulled him down further and whispered something into his ear. His eyes narrowed as the waiter stood, winked, leaned down again and whispered something back, causing Scully to giggle. Giggle? What the hell is going on here? Mulder thought, glancing over at Skinner to see if he had also noticed the exchange. Of course he had, everyone at the table seemed to be staring at Scully. Skinner sat slack jawed and it would have been a funny sight to see had Mulder's heart not been half way through ripping in half. Holly also seemed stunned but Kim sat there with a smug smile. He glared at her and she just shrugged. Scully seemed satisfied with herself as she slowly turned back around when the man walked away. She zeroed in on Mulder immediately to catch a reaction. The alcohol in her system caused her to be more arrogant than she would have been normally. She locked eyes with him and her smile faded. He looked like he was dying right in front of her. Literally. He had grown extremely pale and he slumped down in his chair unseemingly able to hold himself upright. As she stared she remembered feeling exactly like that just a few months ago, that thought made her heart once again grow cold. Damn him, it was OK for him to do it to her but let her try to have some fun and now *he's* hurt? uh un! Her eyes narrowed to slits and she looked away at the waiter who was now returning with the last round of drinks. The table was eerily quiet, the man whose name she still hadn't caught looked from one person to the other. He found Dana's eyes as he placed the drinks down on the table. "I'm done, are you ready?" He asked quietly, almost questioning. Before she could answer she heard Mulder. "Scully don't, don't do this." He was pleading, begging, not caring that there were 5 other people around the table also hearing it. Well at this point she didn't care either. She didn't answer him, she just stood reaching out for Mr. Waiter's hand and began to walk away. "Please Scully, don't," she heard him call before she could finish the third step. She spun on her heel, glaring at him. "How dare you," she said quietly, venom dripping from her voice. "Leave me alone Mulder, you've shown me what you want and if you have suddenly changed your mind tough shit! I'm tired of waiting, I'm tired of being hurt and most of all I'm tired of being alone! Get over it!" She spun back around. pulling her prize behind her, and didn't see Mulder sink back into the chair defeated nor the pools that were welling up in his eyes. Skinner sat back watching the whole scenario take place. He'd gotten over his shock and now knew Scully's behavior for what it was. He wasn't about to let her make a mistake like this. Normally this was Mulders department but right now Mulder was unattainable. It was up to him to do his best to help out two people that meant a lot to him. He stood and ran after the couple. "Scully! Wait!" He yelled as he pushed open the door to the bar. She stopped as did the man at her side. The waiter took one look at Skinner then at Scully and decided that this just wasn't worth it. He gave her an apologetic shrug and walked away in the opposite direction. "Gee thanks Sir, there goes my date for the evening," she sighed, looking up to her boss. "Just as well Scully, he's not what you want and we both know it," he stated. "Christ Almighty, who the hell are you to tell me what I want?" Uh oh she'd never spoken to her superiors that way, but then again it was oddly liberating. She didn't back down, placing her hands on her hips and glaring up at him, daring him to continue. "Shit, you're right. But If it wasn't so damned obvious I wouldn't be sticking my nose where it doesn't belong. Scully, talk to him. He came here with me tonight to sort through this only to find you draped over some guy. I know you're hurting. He's hurting too. The only way to stop this is to talk to him. You have to resolve this, one way or another it has to be done. Don't let it fester anymore. There's a coffee shop just over there, can I tell him you'll be waiting there?" She looked up, realized he was right, and nodded. One way or another this had to be stopped. End of 5. E-mail: terrytoma@sprint.ca She watched as Skinner re-entered the bar, presumably to tell Mulder where she would be. As the door shut behind him she turned and started walking in the direction of the coffee shop. Once she got there she slid into a booth and ordered a cup of coffee. She crossed her arms over her chest like a petulant child and stared down at the table. Damn him she didn't want to be angry anymore but what else could she do? If she forgave him just like that there was no doubt in her mind that things would just continue on as they had been and she would be left once again standing on the side lines. Just as the coffee was placed in front of her she heard the bell over the door chime, signaling someone's entrance. When she looked up she saw Mulder slowly walking towards her, head down. He slid in across from her and just stared at the table. She wasn't about to be the first one to talk, this was his mess, let him reach out for a change. Her arms still folded across her chest, she simply stared and waited. He broke the silence. "I'm sorry Scully," he said as he looked up into the angry eyes of his partner. "Whatever for Agent Mulder? For ruining my night? The first fun I've had in years?" she replied icily. "Well that too but mostly for everything I've put you through in the last little while." He looked back down to the table not knowing where else to go from there. Resignedly she asked, "Why, Mulder?" He once again looked up into her eyes and saw a softening that made his hopes soar: maybe there was still a chance. But good God could there be anymore pressure? "We were getting too close to that line Scully." At her confusion he elaborated. "You, me, hallway ring any bells?" Suddenly she got angry again. "Damn it Mulder! Too Close? If this isn't what you wanted why did you try and stop me tonight? I am so sick of this. You don't want me but you don't want anyone else to have me either?! " Oh Shit, she's completely misunderstanding, he thought as she continued almost yelling at him. "Would you PLEASE make up your mind? I feel like a fucking yo-yo! Do you or don't you? On second though don't answer that, I think I'll just be on my merry....." "Scully stop. Just stop!" She trailed off mid sentence at his interruption. She looked at him, not sure wether she should let him go on or not. In the end her heart made the decision for her, she sat back down. "Please just sit and let me explain?" he asked and at her nod of affirmation he went on. "Shit, I don't know where to start. Alright how about I start by saying that you mean more to me than anything or anyone else on this planet. That said I also need to tell you that you scare the shit out of me for just that reason." He looked up, waiting for her to rebuff anything he said. When she didn't, he sighed relieved and continued. "In the hallway I didn't think. I reacted. I reacted to the thought of you leaving. That was wrong. But once it had happened I realized there was nothing I wanted more than to finish it. That scared me and that was when I started pushing you away. I thought I was doing the right thing Scully, for the both of us. After all what the hell good would I be to you? A paranoid, moody borderline schizophrenic, just what every girl wants." He hung his head. Scully was wiping away an errant tear when she felt his hand on her own and heard him start up again. "After awhile I started to see what I was doing to you, I could've handled what I was doing to myself Scully. I've felt this ache before, I could deal with that, but when I looked at you and could almost feel the same ache coming from you I knew I had to stop this. I couldn't hurt you like that anymore. I decided to do whatever I could to fix it and now here I am." He held his hands out palms up, giving her the chance to make some decisions, to take the lead. Whatever she decided he would have to live with it, good or bad. She was still staring at him with watery eyes while he finished. She opened her mouth a few times before any words would escape, finally finding her voice, she responded. "You're right Mulder, you've hurt me. A lot. Right now I don't know what to think or how to feel, all I do know is that yes I want this to stop too. No I *need* this to stop, I can't go on the way things are. But I don't know if I can just let this go. I don't ever want to feel like this again. I don't know if I can trust you with this anymore." The last was said with a hand over her heart and a voice so quiet and sad that it nearly broke his heart. "Please Scully, give me another chance. You have to believe me when I tell you it won't happen again. I've come to realize that any problems this may cause don't matter. All that matters anymore is seeing you happy again, and if in the process that means me getting everything in the world that I want well then so be it," he said finally with a smile. The tears that up until now she had managed to keep back began to fall in a slow steady stream. He moved from his side of the booth to join her at hers. Hooking a finger under her chin and raising her head to stare into her eyes, he kissed away the tears. "Please Scully, give us a chance. I. Need. You," he said between butterfly kisses to her cheeks. "You make it too damned hard to stay mad at you Mulder." She smiled. "Let's get out of here." He didn't need to be asked twice. He placed a few dollars on the table to pay for the coffee and grabbed Scully's hand in his own, threading their fingers together. She looked down to the joined hands and, raising them to her lips, she kissed each one of his knuckles, then dropped their hands back down to their sides. Together they headed for the door to the shop, a small smile gracing both of their faces. END.