From: Starbuk42@aol.com
Date: Wed, 9 Sep 1998 19:12:20 EDT
Subject: NEW: Late Night Confessions (1/1) by M


Title: Late Night Confessions
Author: M (Starbuk42@aol.com) 
Rating: PG 
Category: SA, UST/slight MSR
Spoilers: The Movie (FTF), slight and somewhat vague. Post-Movie, Not
Flickfic. 
Summary: Title says it all. (Always wanted to say that.<g>)
Archive: Gossamer. Anywhere else, just ask first. I'll let you.
Disclaimer: Mulder, Scully, and any other characters mentioned belong to CC,
1013 Productions, and Fox. They are used without permission. This is for
entertainment, not profit. 
Feedback: Is more than graciously accepted. I will also accept constructive
criticism. And if you just want to tell me you read it, I'd like that too. E-
mail to Starbuk42@aol.com
Notes: I just know someone's used this title. I can just feel it. But again,
it just fit. Well, I'm flying solo this time. My editor is unreachable. I
don't believe there are any huge problems. Sorry. Well, read on, and tell me
what you think.
Enjoy!


Late Night Confessions by M

      "Scully," he said softly as he tapped her shoulder. "Scully, we're
here." Looking down at her now, "Scully," he said, a little louder. "Scully,
wake up." He shook her shoulder gently.
      "Ok," she murmured sleepily, not opening her eyes.
      "Scully," he said once more as he knelt before her in front of the open
car door. He carefully placed a strand of hair behind her ear. She shifted her
position in the seat, turning her face away from him. "Come on, Scully." He
moved his hand to her shoulder once more.
      "Mmm, hmm," she said almost inaudibly. He could tell she wasn't getting
up anytime soon.
      "Alright, Scully," he said, locking the door. Carefully, he slid his
arms under her body then lifted her slowly out of the car. "Always wanted to
do this," he whispered to himself. He kicked the door shut as gently as he
could and began walking to the motel room, being careful not to wake her
peaceful form. 

      She felt herself being lifted up slowly and into someone's arms. Someone
warm, someone familiar. It felt so good. So good to be held, she thought to
herself, still half asleep. Her eyes were still closed. She felt his warmth.
So close. It felt so wonderful to have someone's arms around her. She lifted
her head slightly and placed it against his shoulder. Mulder. She had known it
was him before, but now it was clear in her head. Mulder. So good. She could
almost see his beautifully handsome face. His lush, full lips. They would
taste so good. She could almost imagine running her tongue slowly over them,
pressing her own lips against them. She moved herself closer to him, pressing
her breasts against his chest, moving her head closer to his. Closer. She
breathed in deeply. His scent was intoxicating. She could almost taste him.
She almost had. His mouth was right there, touching hers ever so slightly. She
was so close. So close. She moved her face closer to his neck. So close. Then
she felt herself being lowered. Something soft beneath her. A bed. His arms
were still under her. His body was still close. He was hovering above her. She
felt his breath against her cheek. His face was right in front of hers. His
lips were so close. So close. Just a little closer and she could press her
lips to his. Just a little closer. A little closer... No! she said to herself
as she turned her face away. I shouldn't. I can't.
      "What?" he asked, pulling back slowly.
      "Huh?" she asked, her eyes now wide open.
      "No?"
      "No," she repeated. Not a question, not a statement, just somewhere in
between.
      "Yeah," he said, pulling his arms out from under her and sitting up on
the bed.
      "What?"
      "Huh?" He paused and laughed softly for a moment. "You said, 'No' all of
a sudden."
      "I did?"
      "Yeah."
      "Oh," she said sitting up against the pillow. She moved her eyes away
from his and turned back to her 'dream.'
      "Scully?"
      "Yeah," she answered, startled.
      "Sorry."
      "No, it's alright. I guess I kinda spaced out."
      "I'm sorry I woke you. I know you're tired. I'll leave you alone," he
said getting up from the bed. 
      "Yeah. I'll see you tomorrow." She watched him stand and then looked to
her right, noticing for the first time that there was another bed in her room.
She was about to ask Mulder about it when he interrupted.
      "Uh, actually, Scully, we're sharing a room," he informed her as he
turned around and stared down at her. She looked back up at him with question
in her eyes. "Well, something got screwed up when we requested the rooms."
      "They didn't have an extra one?"
      "It's a small place. All the other rooms are either taken, reserved, or
being renovated. But we did get the honeymoon suite. See how big it is."
      "Two beds?"
      "Well, I don't know. Maybe it's the 'We're-having-trouble-with-our-
marriage suite.' Hey, look at the bright side, Scully. At least I won't be
able to kick you in my sleep."
      "What a relief," she muttered under her breath.
      "What?" he asked, lowering his head a little.
      "Nothing," she replied.
      "Ok," he said, nodding. "Look, I'm really sorry about this, Scully," he
said sincerely. Moving across the room to his own bed, he sat and took off his
shoes. "There was nothing the manager could do."
      "It's not your fault," she sighed.
      "I won't bother you. I promise," he said, lying down.
      "No, Mulder. It's not like that." Leaning forward slightly on the edge
of the bed, she said, "I don't mind. Really."
      "You sure?" he asked looking over at her.
      "Yeah, I just like a little privacy sometimes. That's natural, isn't
it?"
      "Yeah, I guess," he said, turning on his side and resting his head on
his arm.
      "Y'know, I'm not real tired right now, and I know you're not gonna fall
asleep anytime soon. Why don't we talk a little?"
      "About what?"
      "I don't know. Anything. Come over here so I can hear you." He got up
and sat down beside her once more.
      "Like what?"
      "Whatever you want," she told him as he put his hands behind his head
and lay down across the bed. Then, pulling her shoes off, Scully swung her
legs up and sat cross-legged next to him. 
      "Y'know, this case was a complete waste of time," he informed her after
a few moments of silence.
      "Yeah." Just like Mulder to think about work before anything else, she
thought to herself.
      "I was pissed we actually got it. I mean, the local law enforcement
could've handled this crap. There was no X-File here, right? I mean, you
didn't find anything abnormal when you did the autopsy, did you?"
      "Only the food in his stomach," she deadpanned. He chuckled slightly at
her comment. Watching him laugh, she started to smile. Soon she found herself
laughing as well.
      "Yep. That's Arkansas for ya. Good southern eatin'," he drawled. "Yeah,
and how about that sheriff? Jesus, what an asshole. Their department's as bad
as DC's. Probably worse."
      "You wanna talk about something other than work?"
      "Sure. If this is bothering you-"
      "No. It's just all we've been doing is working for...I don't know. It's
just everything is about work. And all that is is just pain and...and sorrow."
She sighed deeply.
      "I'm sorry, Scully. I didn't know you felt that way."
      "It's not your fault. I mean, that's what we do. We see death and all
these evil things all the time. That's my job. I like my job, but sometimes I
just need to get away from it a little. We all do."
      "If I could take that pain away from you, I would. In a second. You
don't deserve that."
      "Mulder, I'm ok. Really. Work doesn't bother me. I just want to talk
about something else, and here we are, still talking about work."
      "I understand. It's just, everything in my life is related to work.
You're the only *real* friend I have. You and the Lone Gunmen. And you're all
related to work."
      "But I'm also your friend outside of work."
      "Yeah, I know." A moment of silence passed between them before Mulder
asked, "You hungry? I mean, we didn't really have dinner."
      "Not really."
      "I don't think they have room service. I could go out and get
something."
      "No. It's ok, Mulder. I mean, unless you're hungry."
      "No. I just wanted to make sure you weren't."
      "I'm fine."
      "You sure?"
      "Yes," she said, slightly annoyed.
      "Ok, well, I have a confession to make."
      "A confession?"
      "Well, it's not really a confession, I guess. I'm not sure what to call
it. Maybe an observation."
      "Ok. Go ahead."
      "Well, when I was carrying you in here," Oh shit, she thought. Here it
comes. "I felt you kinda rub up against me." She felt her heart race a little
faster. She nervously rubbed her hands together. "I mean, you were sleeping,
but then you just kept moving your head closer to my neck. I guess you were
just dreaming or turning in your sleep or something," he concluded, looking up
to get her reaction. "You don't remember any of that, do you?"
      "No," she replied coolly. Good, that didn't sound bad, she thought. He
nodded in response. "Is there any particular reason why you decided to share
that with me?" she asked, trying not to flush.
      "Not really. Just something I noticed," he answered casually.
      "It didn't have any effect on you?" Her eyebrow rose, displaying the
classic 'Scully look.'
      "Not at all." Ah ha! she thought. He's lying. She smiled slightly to
herself.
      "What?" he asked, noticing her grin.
      "Nothing," she replied, the smile completely gone from her face.
      "Y'know what I think? I think you do remember doing that. I think you
were awake, or at least partially, and you can't admit it." Her eyes widened
in surprise.
      "Well, y'know what I think?"
      "What?" he asked sitting up.
      "I think it did have an effect on you. I think you were shocked, maybe
aroused. But _you_ can't admit it."
      "So, you're saying I'm right?"
      "Are you saying I'm right?" But before he could answer, "Y'know what?
Never mind. Forget it. Come to think of it I am tired. Could you get up?" He
rose from her bed a little confused. Standing slowly, he turned and watched
her untuck the covers. Suddenly he was upset.
      "I don't understand you! You say you wanna talk, but the minute we get
to something you can't communicate honestly about without showing a little bit
of emotion, and possibly a little vulnerability, you close up and push it
away. Why is it so hard for you?!"
      "What the hell are you yelling at me for?!" she practically screamed.
      "I mean, it's like you build this wall up around your emotions, and you
won't let anyone in," he continued as if he hadn't heard her.
      "Oh, I have a wall," she said sarcastically. "I don't see you being Mr.
Expressive."
      "Well, I'm trying, Scully. I'm trying Goddamnit! I'm trying to be open.
I'm trying to let you in. But you won't let _me_ in!"
      "Well, I can't help it if that's the way I am," she explained, turning
away from him.
      "You just frustrate me so much! You're driving me crazy, Scully!" She
pretended to ignore him. "Damnit, Scully! I love you, Goddamnit! But you're
impossible." Her eyes widened a bit at his confession, but she didn't move.
"You just make me wanna do something stupid, something insane." He stopped all
of a sudden. Scully thought he was going to leave the room, but he crossed to
her, catching her by surprise. Spinning her around to face him, he swiftly
pressed his lips to hers. The anger in his expression quickly disappeared. He
pulled away slowly, his face still close to hers. The shock was registered
equally on both their faces.
      "Uh...," Scully started.
      "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry, Scully," he said looking away from her. "I
didn't mean to...it won't happen again. I...I'm sorry," he said as he started
to walk away.
      "No. Wait," she said, grabbing his arm. "I'm sorry. You have nothing to
be sorry for, Mulder. I'm glad you did what you did." She paused and looked
away from his eyes. "You're right. It is hard for me to express my feelings
openly to anyone. We both have that problem. But that's just the way I am.
That's the way I've always been. I've always been independent, and part of
that independence was not having to share my feelings with anyone. I dealt
with them myself. I realize you're trying, Mulder. But it's just harder for
me." She sighed and looked back up at him. "I love you too. And I'm trying
_now_. Can you forgive me?" 
      "Always, Scully," he replied softly. She gently ran her hand down his
cheek. He closed his eyes at the contact.
      "I really am tired, though," she admitted, withdrawing her hand. He
opened his eyes slowly.
      "I'll let you sleep, then."
      "No. Stay with me." He knew what she meant. 
      "Aren't you afraid I'll kick you?" 
      "I'll take my chances," she said with a smile

The End
Well? How was it? Good, bad, ok. Tell me. Please?-->(Starbuk42@aol.com)