From: Ten <kristena@ocean.com.au>
Date: Tue, 11 Mar 2003 09:54:30 +1100
Subject: "Learning to Breathe" (1/11) by Ten
Source: xff

TITLE: "Learning to Breathe" (1/11)
BY: Ten
E-MAIL ADDRESS: kristena@ocean.com.au

CATEGORY: S, MSR, Angst, definitely goes into Alternate
Universe
RATING: High R (consensual adult situations not gone into
in great detail)
SUMMARY: Scully and Mulder help each other to recover
after "One Breath" and learn how to make the most of
their second chance.

TIMESPAN/SPOILER WARNING: Set post-"One Breath", refers
back to episodes in season one and two. "Firewalker" does
not happen in this universe. It branches off on a
different tangent.

Notes:
Often on the show I was disappointed with the paths they
took in the mytharc, or the way in which they went down
those paths and the resolutions (or *lack* of
resolutions...). So with this story I decided to really
go into alternate universe - in my version, Scully's
abduction did happen, but Scully did not get a chip
implanted or her ova taken, so there are no Emilys or
cancer on her horizon. The image of Dana on the table
with her abdomen blown up was Mulder's imagination
running away on him. Disregard the 'branched DNA' phrase
in the show. From what can I recall of an interview I
read years ago with a scientific advisor who joined the
show at a point after these eps, she got the writers to
stop referring to 'branched DNA' because it was not
actually possible in humans, or something along those
lines.

Location-wise, I have put Scully's apartment in
Georgetown and I deliberately haven't stated just where
in D.C. Maggie Scully lives. The season one and two
episode guide has her in Baltimore, but then some friends
pointed out the cost of a taxi ride for the characters if
they went from Maggie's place to Mulder's (and vice
versa), so I decided to keep that vague ;)

ARCHIVE INFO: It goes to Gossamer through xff. Can be
archived anywhere as long as my name, addy and disclaimer
stay intact.
FEEDBACK: I love to know who is out there in the ether!
THANKS TO: Gerry, Debbie, Mac, Suzanne, Judie and Sally
for all the beta help - after the amount of times you
each went through it and all the hard work you put in, I
won't be surprised if you can now recite large tracts of
this story in your sleep. If you are, I'll pay the
therapy bills <G>. And to E, M and others who have been
very encouraging and waiting patiently for me to finish
this for a long time.

My website for all my X-Files fanfiction, thanks to the
wonderful Arria, is at
http://bitter-moon.com/tenxffic/index2.html

DISCLAIMER: The X-Files, the episodes referred to, Mulder
and Scully and all other characters from the show belong
to Chris Carter and his team of writers, Ten Thirteen
Productions and Fox Broadcasting, and are used without
permission. No copyright infringement is intended, no
profit will be gained. Characters not recognised from the
show are mine.


The X-Files: "Learning to Breathe" (1/11)
By Ten, posted March 2003

xXx

November 1994
Saturday, Mid-afternoon
Maggie Scully's house:

Dana stretched as she came out of the bedroom, fresh from
her nap.

It was surreal to know that she had 'missed' the end of
summer and most of autumn. The days were shorter and
colder. It was like she had been placed on pause while
the rest of life had gone on, and finally been awakened.

Perhaps not so much by a prince's kiss, as by his
voice....

Dana was tugged out of that thought and fragment of
memory by catching a glimpse of herself in a mirror.
Perhaps it would be more accurate to say that only her
mind had been placed on pause, because her body did have
two noticeable changes, things she was still getting used
to. Her hair was longer. Her figure was fuller too - ten
pounds heavier than her normal weight.

I probably didn't get much chance for exercise, wherever
I was....

But she was alive. And back. And determined to return to
work as soon as possible. That was what she focused on.

Tiring easily and the extra weight were the only remnants
of her ordeal. Both could be worked on - she was pacing
herself and gaining strength with each passing day. A
remarkable and rapid recovery considering the state she
had been discovered in at the hospital, and how close she
had come to dying. Today was the third day since her
discharge from the hospital.

Dana was about to reach out for the stair rail when she
noticed black marks on her fingers. They were stained
with newspaper ink, from a stint of reading before she
went to sleep. The floor of her room was piled with
papers, magazines and scientific journals. She wanted to
catch up with the world, to get her mind working again.
She had to stay off work until she was cleared for duty,
but that didn't mean she was going to be idle.
She knew the papers upset her mother, a tangible reminder
of the days and weeks and months that had passed. Maggie
had removed the household's calendars. Dana was unsure
whether this was done while she was missing or when she
came here to recuperate. So she only read her stockpile
in her room.

While Dana went into the bathroom and washed her hands,
she also reflected on how her elder brother was dealing
with her recovery. Bill's most recent phone call had been
yesterday. During their conversation it quickly became
clear that he thought she was going to make a career
change from such a dangerous job after what had happened.
Or rather that he expected her to, for 'everyone's sake,
especially yours'. Dana had steered the conversation away
from that subject, knowing it would lead to an argument.
One would definitely come, but she did not feel like
having it just yet.

Dana left the bathroom and headed downstairs. Her mother
smiled as she came into the living room. It was a smile
of joy and relief, tinged with a degree of worry that
Dana knew would be around for a while to come.

"I had a great sleep; I feel fine," she said with a smile
of her own before Maggie could ask. Then she had a
question of her own. "Has Mulder -"

But Maggie shook her head the second she made the 'm'
sound. "Still nothing."

Dana had barely heard from Mulder during the last three
days, and he had not come over. Was her partner all
right?

He had visited her in the hospital after her remarkable
recovery, but only a few times, and for relatively short
periods of time. That both hurt and worried her.

When Skinner had come to the hospital to see her, the
A.D. made brief mention of the X-Files division being
reopened. Any further discussion on the subject or on her
own future was deferred, he told her, until after she was
discharged and had a chance to get 'settled'. Whatever
that meant.

"Will Krycek help Mulder out in the department in the
meantime, or someone else?" Then Dana saw the
uncomfortable look on Skinner's face. "What?"

The A.D. said grimly and somewhat reluctantly, "Krycek is
missing and has been since soon after you went missing on
Skyland Mountain. There is evidence that he was working
for the Cigarette Smoking Man and that he hindered
Mulder's efforts to find you."

She stared past him at the wall, absorbing the news.

Skinner cleared his throat, still looking uncomfortable,
and said, "As for Mulder, I made him take some time off.
This week and next week too."

Dana could only imagine how much arguing must have taken
place on that matter before Mulder saw sense, but her
mind was more preoccupied with the revelation about
Krycek. Another in a long line of people who had betrayed
Mulder....

She had no intention of *not* going back to the X-Files.
And what Skinner told her sealed her determination. She
and Mulder would be partners again. Them against the
world. They would keep searching for the truth and for
those responsible for her kidnapping.

Kidnapping seemed an easier term to handle than
'abduction'. The latter brought to mind all those files
her partner had stored in his office of supposed
abductions by aliens.

To Dana it seemed more likely - and also much easier to
handle - that humans were the ones behind her
disappearance. Probably the same people who had killed
Deep Throat. And to her relief she had no implants or
anything else of the like that had been found on Duane
Barry or from the other cases she and Mulder had
investigated.

Now, in Maggie's living room, Dana turned her thoughts
solely to Mulder. Her partner.

Even after the division had been shut down, she never
thought of Mulder as her 'ex-partner'.

She had tried calling him that morning, but got his
answering machine. She asked him to phone back. It was
now mid-afternoon, and still nothing.

He could have gone out for the day....

She sighed and asked her mother, "I'm going to make some
tea; do you want some too?"

She saw Maggie begin to say she would do it herself. But
the older woman held back with an effort, knowing how
important regaining independence was. Especially to Dana.
"Yes, thank you, dear."

Dana would have loved a nice, strong coffee, but she was
under doctor's orders. Her doctor wanted to see her again
in another week and had prescribed vitamins to aid her
recovery.

While busy in the kitchen, Dana wondered how much longer
she would stay at her mother's house. Maggie would be
happy to have her here for however long she wanted. The
thought of going back to live in her apartment in
Georgetown after the way it had been invaded made her
feel uneasy. Yes, there had been intruders there before,
notably Eugene Tooms, but this last break-in had
surpassed that in spades.

Dana remembered Duane Barry breaking the window -

Then she tried not to remember it. Maggie had told her,
when asked, that the apartment had been cleaned and
repaired. She also said Skinner had organised it, so Dana
knew the cleaners were from a crime scene cleanup
company. Physical evidence of her abduction would
definitely be gone.

In a few more days she would go back there for an hour or
two and see how she felt. It might be time to move
somewhere else.

Dana brought the cups in, gave one to her mother, then
sat in her favourite chair. The living room was decorated
with some of the bouquets of flowers sent to her while in
the hospital or since her release. But Dana ignored the
patches of bright colours as she leaned back, instead
sipping her tea and reflecting.

She felt that she was handling things better than
everyone else seemed to be doing. She couldn't remember
the last three months, and had managed to accept that -
but for her family and friends it was another matter.
They knew every moment of that long stretch of time. Her
mother was holding up pretty well, all things considered.
Mulder....

"Dana. Dana!"

She blinked, realising she was staring blankly at the now-
cold remains of her tea. "Huh? Sorry, Mom." Maggie smiled
at her. "I was just thinking about Mulder," Dana
confessed, though she had a feeling that her mother was
well aware of that fact. "Why he hasn't...."

"There could be a lot of reasons why Fox hasn't come
over."

Dana looked out the window. "I know...."

"Fox is probably using his leave to rest and relax, now
that he knows you're all right. And he may feel
uncomfortable about coming here. He could feel like he is
intruding. Just like in the hospital." Maggie sighed,
recalling his arrival when Dana was just out of her coma
and awake. "When Fox came in, I know Melissa and I should
have given you two some time alone, but after all that
had happened I just couldn't let you out of my sight. Not
just then... I did try calling him yesterday to invite
him over, but there was no answer."

Dana knew another reason Mulder might not have come - he
could feel like he had failed because he hadn't managed
to find her.

She considered her mother's words. "Intruding... That's
possible. And that's why," or one of a number of reasons
why, "I'm going to go to his apartment to visit him." She
held up her hand to forestall her mother. "Mom, I'm fit
enough. I'll take a taxi and be careful not to overexert
myself. I need to do this."

I have to see him.

"Dana -"

They were interrupted by the sound of the front door
being unlocked and opened. Melissa appeared in the
doorway. Maggie smiled, getting up to greet her while
continuing to Dana, "I'm not going to stop you from going
to see Fox. But I will drive you there. Yes, I will," she
stated firmly as her younger daughter opened her mouth to
protest. "Then I'll go do some shopping nearby. There
were some shops I wanted to visit in Alexandria anyway.
Missy, you might want to come with me. And then, Dana,
you can phone me and I'll pick you up again when you are
ready. Or I can be back at a certain time."

"Sure, I'll come," Melissa said, slipping into the
conversation as if she'd been part of it all along.
"You'll need me."

Dana tried to keep hold of her exasperation. "Thanks for
the offer, but I can get from the sidewalk to Mulder's
apartment and back down again unaided!"

"Yes, *you* can," Melissa replied cryptically.

Dana looked at her sister, who returned her gaze calmly.
Dana started to ask what that comment was supposed to
mean, then decided she should be grateful that at least
Missy wasn't trying to argue against her going.

"You go upstairs and get ready," Maggie told Dana. "I'll
try phoning to see if he's at home and if there's
anything he wants us to bring or get for him."

xXx

When Dana returned downstairs, she asked her mother and
sister if Mulder had answered his phone.

"We didn't try. Melissa insists that he's there," Maggie
said, picking up her bag.

"Did you call him before you came here?" Dana asked her
sister.

"He's at his apartment," Missy replied. "Trust me. Now
come on, we're wasting time and you're the one who wants
to see him."

Dana could hardly argue with the latter, so she got in
the car while debating whether to ask further questions.
If she had tried calling Mulder herself, there was a
chance that there would be no answer anyway, but that
wouldn't have stopped her from wanting to go to his
apartment to check.

There were some other questions that she did decide to
ask. "Mom, you said that Mulder kept in contact with you
over the last three months, even when there were no new
leads about me. How... how was he during that time? How
did he seem?"

She saw her mother hesitate, searching for words. Dana
had seen in the hospital that Mulder's face was thinner.
He looked wrung out. There was a haunted quality in his
eyes that his happiness could not completely hide. A few
things that Maggie said over the last few days during
conversation about her partner had stayed in her mind and
worried her. Dana asked Skinner similar questions when he
came to the hospital. The A.D. was somewhat evasive.

"Please. I have to know," Dana insisted to her mother.

"Fox took your disappearance very hard. He always looked
and sounded tired, but driven. Lost." Maggie paused.
"Once I found him asleep on the sofa in your apartment
when I arrived to do some cleaning. Fox wore your cross
constantly. I think he put it on a larger chain so that
he could."

Dana reached up and fingered her necklace. "What else?"

"When he first saw you when you were in the coma, he went
ballistic at the medical staff, demanding to know what
had happened to you. Security guards had to drag him
away."

A faint recollection came to Dana. Of Mulder yelling, of
her wanting to reach out to him, but she was unable to.

Then Melissa said, "When you were in the coma and he
thought he couldn't do anything to help you, he was
blaming himself and wanting to find and punish whoever
was responsible. I told him that whoever did this to you
had an equal horror coming to them. His response was:
'Including myself?'"

Dana sat quietly, gladder than ever that she would soon
be with her partner.

Maggie did not go into Fox's reaction about the
discontinuance of life support. The execution of Dana's
living will had been something she had not yet been able
to discuss with her daughter in any detail. Dana knew the
medical facts from talking with her doctor, but not the
emotional reactions that had accompanied the decisions.

Maggie knew that they would have to deal with that issue
at some stage in the near future.

xXx

Dana knocked on Mulder's apartment door. Her ears
strained for any sound of movement. She wanted to see him
so much - in fact, she couldn't admit just how much
because she could not fully comprehend it. Yet.

She knocked again.

Nothing.

"Perhaps he's in the bathroom or asleep," Maggie
suggested.

Dana sighed and reached into her pocket.

"Dana," Maggie said uncomfortably, "You're not going to
pick the lock?" She knew her daughter could pick locks -
that aspect of Dana's FBI training had proven useful once
when she and her husband had shut their keys in the car.
Bill had been amused at Dana's new skill. It made Maggie
feel somewhat uncertain and embarrassed though. Then she
nearly laughed, realising that their reactions were
ironic, seeing as Bill was the one who had disapproved of
their daughter joining the FBI.

"No need, Mom." Dana produced her keyring and selected a
key, focusing on putting it in the lock instead of
checking out her mother's expression. Yes, Mom, I have a
key to my work partner's home. I've had it for quite a
while. She cleared her throat. "I'll go in first. If
Mulder is asleep, I don't want us all trooping in all of
a sudden." Especially not when he could have his gun
nearby...

Dana turned the key and opened the door a crack, while
gently calling Mulder's name. Receiving no response, she
pushed the door further inward -

- and stared at what looked like the aftermath of a war
zone.


END PART ONE OF ELEVEN

(2/11)

xXx

Furniture had been upturned, upholstery slashed,
possessions shattered and scattered on the floor.

Oh God. Has he been robbed? Did he do this himself in a
rage?

And if it was robbery, had it just happened? Were the
intruders still here, and was Mulder all right? Perhaps
that's why he hadn't answered the door - he couldn't.

Her hand went to the place she usually kept her holster.
Nothing. Damn.

At the same time, Maggie and Melissa saw the wreckage and
reacted to it, Maggie gasping.

Then Dana noticed something. Fingerprint powder liberally
covered the surfaces. And there were other signs that an
investigative team had gone over his apartment too. "He's
been robbed. It looks like a police or FBI team was
here." Unless Mulder had dusted for fingerprints himself.

The overwhelming desire to locate her partner drove Dana
into the apartment. Her training made her scan the
surrounding area as she made her way past the kitchen,
but she could sense that there were no intruders in the
apartment. Besides, her main focus was on the living
room, where she could just see through the doorway that
someone was lying on the couch.

"Mulder!"

At the sound of her voice he moved his head and mumbled
faintly, but his eyes were closed. Dana hurried over to
him, having to navigate around the coffee table.

Upon reaching her partner, she knelt down next to him,
her eyes taking him in. "Mulder? It's me." He shifted
again.

He was lying on his side. Mulder was wearing a t-shirt,
jeans and an unzipped coat. He wasn't covered by a
blanket. It was like he had come in and collapsed on the
couch without bothering to take his coat or even his
hiking boots off. Were these the same clothes that he'd
been wearing when he last visited her at the hospital?

Dana couldn't see his gun. But she could see that his
face was gaunt and pale. He hadn't shaved for what looked
like days.

"Mulder?"

She touched his hand. He moved but still did not wake up.
He was breathing deeply.

She repeated his name louder, then pinched his ear.

"Mulder!"

"Mmmm?" He opened his eyes and looked at her, but there
was no recognition on his face. He was still too much in
dreamland.

"Mulder, wake up!"

"Tired...." he said softly.

She touched his face, his forehead, feeling for a
temperature and also simply to touch him. Worry was
building, though at least he was responding. He wasn't
feverish. Her hand went to his wrist, checking his pulse.

"Dana."

She looked up at her sister, who was holding out a
medicine bottle. "It was on the computer desk with a
glass of water," Melissa said.

Sleeping pills. He couldn't have.... Dana hastily took
the bottle, wanting to grab Mulder and shake him and
yell: 'How many did you take?', but her brain was telling
her that Mulder had not overdosed. His vital signs were
strong and the bottle was almost full.

"Mulder, you took sleeping pills?" she asked.

"Yeah." He blinked and became more verbal. "Couldn't
sleep.... Gotten out of the habit.... But now... not
gonna get a phone call in the middle of the night....
She's back...safe.... Had to sleep...." His forehead
creased. "She is okay, isn't she?"

"Yes. Yes, she is," Dana managed to say. Oh, Mulder....

"Good." His eyes drifted shut again.

"What about your apartment, Mulder? What happened - it's
a wreck!"

A faint trace of a smile appeared on his face. "Always
is.... Gonna clean up... before Scully sees it and
freaks."

Too late, partner. Dana found it hard to keep her voice
steady as she asked, "Mulder, are you all right?"

A nod, eyes still closed. "Yes. She's back. She's
alive...."

With that, he went back to sleep. Dana realised that she
was still holding Mulder's hand. After checking his
pulse, she hadn't withdrawn it. Her hands shaking, Dana
sat back and pulled her gaze from her partner. Melissa
and Maggie were standing close by, careful not to touch
anything.

Dana said, "The phone - I need to call -" She started
looking for it, but both Melissa and Maggie went for
their cellulars. Melissa dug around in her bag and found
hers first, handing it to her sister. Dana phoned
Assistant Director Skinner, trying his cellular number
first because she was not sure if he would be in the
office. He answered and greeted her warmly.

"Sir, I've just come to Agent Mulder's apartment, and it
appears to have been ransacked," she said.

"Yes, so I found out when I saw him on the day you came
out of your coma." There was a trace of discomfort in his
voice.

Dana stared at her sleeping partner. So it had happened
that long ago?

"Did Mulder report it to you?" she asked Skinner.

"No. I found out about it when I went to his apartment,"
Skinner replied. "It had occurred the night before. I
sent a team around, but no evidence was found about who
was behind it."

And there won't be, Dana thought. "I see." She looked
absently at the coffee table, where a half-eaten bowl of
cereal sat atop of the chaos.

Skinner could tell from Dana's tone that she knew the
score. And it also didn't sound like Mulder had been
spending his time off cleaning up the mess. But hadn't
Mulder reassured Scully when she saw the state of the
place? Unless she didn't believe him.... "Isn't Mulder
there?"

And how did you get in if he wasn't?

"Agent Mulder is here. He's...." Dana hesitated. If she
said 'In no fit state to tell me,' Skinner might assume
Mulder had gotten drunk. Since he was off duty, he could
of course do so if he pleased, but she didn't want to
give that impression. There was the truth - taking
sleeping pills wasn't like taking cocaine, but she felt
very protective of her partner in this condition. "He's
asleep and I didn't want to disturb him."

"Oh." Skinner decided to leave it at that. "Well, neither
of you is to rush back to work, even for desk duty."
Skinner was about to ask if he could come and see her on
Monday, to discuss matters, but he knew that Dana would
not be happy with that, no matter how diplomatically he
worded it. So instead he said, "Would you be able to come
see me sometime on Monday at my office, so we can go over
things such as when to schedule your re-certification
appointments?" And discuss her plans.

They quickly settled on a mutually convenient time.

"I'll see you then, sir."

Dana ended the call and looked down at the prone Mulder,
then at her sister and mother. "This place was ransacked
when I was still in the hospital, the night before I woke
up. And it doesn't look like Mulder has bothered with it.
If Skinner hadn't come to see Mulder, he might not have
even gotten around to reporting it...."

"I think he had other things on his mind. More important
things," Melissa said as she took back her cellular.

"Skinner said the apartment has been examined. No clues."
Dana felt a surge of anger well up in her and found
herself directing it at her sister. "You knew that Mulder
was here. If it was one of your 'psychic flashes', then
why didn't you know about this," she waved her hands at
the damage and at Mulder's condition, "and tell me
earlier?"

Melissa held back from pointing out that Dana didn't
believe in psychic ability - either Melissa's, or her
own.... "Some things I can sense more strongly than
others. All I knew was that he was here and exhausted."

Dana, you sensed yourself that he needed you, Melissa
thought. You just don't realise or *want* to recognise it
in that way. The implications are too frightening to your
belief system. You're rationalising it out as being
worried over him because you hadn't heard from him, but
you *are* hearing from him, just not in a conventional
way. I think I was picking up on him *through* you,
through the bond I could sense when you were out of your
coma and Mulder came to visit you in the hospital.

Melissa held back from telling her sister about her
theory over this bond. But when Maggie went into the
kitchen, Melissa did tell Dana quietly, "On the night
that we thought you were going to die, I tried to contact
Mulder to tell him, but no one was answering. I came
here. He answered the door but was reluctant to let me
in. The apartment wasn't trashed at that stage but all
the lights were off. He was distracted. It was like he
was waiting for something."

In a very dark place - not just physically.

xXx

The living room was crowded with the four of them and all
the clutter, so Maggie retreated into the kitchen now
that she knew it was safe to do so. She would be summoned
if anything was wrong. She took the bowl from the coffee
table with her, to get rid of the remaining cereal and
milk and wash the bowl. The contents seemed relatively
fresh, so that was some indication that Fox had actually
eaten something today.

When Dana was missing, he had kept in touch often, via
both phone and visits. On most of his visits, Maggie made
sure he went home with something to eat. Soup, a
casserole, sandwiches. It gave her a way of feeling even
a tiny bit useful, because she thought that cooking would
probably be the last thing on Fox's mind.

He usually returned the bowl or the container. Sometimes
he forgot and sometimes he would return several at once.
Maggie did not mind. What was a piece of plastic or china
compared to a missing child?

Now Maggie stood in the small kitchen, looking at the
mess. Whether this disarray was more from the ransacking
or the way Fox kept his kitchen, Maggie was not sure.

She checked out the fridge. Some items looked ready to be
thrown out. There were a lot of things in the freezer.
Maggie assumed that was because he wasn't home all that
much - too busy looking for Dana or working himself to
death.

xXx

Dana felt a burning in her throat and eyes as she gazed
at her partner. Tears that she had refused to shed for
herself were far more easily poised for Mulder. She heard
Maggie re-enter the living room and glanced up at her.
"I'm not leaving him here, Mom."

"Good," Maggie said, just as firmly, "because I had no
intention of doing so either. The problem is, how are we
going to get him down to the car?"

"It looks like he's in the middle of the effect of the
pill." She assumed it was most likely only the one pill,
because even one usually knocked him around as well as
out. So he avoided them as much as possible. His
exhaustion was probably exacerbating the effect this
time. "If I can wake him up enough, we can sleepwalk him
to the elevator and then to the car. With the three of
us, we should be able to manage."

Maggie nodded. "You and Melissa had better pack a bag for
him then."

"His overnight bag might be around here," Dana said. "Or
it might be in the trunk of his car."

Dana was able to locate Mulder's overnight bag in his
bedroom. The contents had been rummaged through and a few
items were strewn around nearby.

One dress shirt on the floor smelled and looked like it
had been in the proximity of a fire....

She decided to take what was in the bag - there were
enough casual clothes in there to do him for several days
and they seemed clean. A pair of his sneakers were in one
of the compartments. She added a few items and made sure
his shaving kit was there.

Dana remembered the stunned look on her mother's face
when she had produced a key to Mulder's apartment. She
wondered what Maggie's expression would be like if the
bag needed to be packed from scratch. Because Dana would
have gone around the bedroom, knowing precisely where
everything was kept - or at least was kept before the
ransacking - including Mulder's underwear. A legacy of
the times he had been in the hospital and she had needed
to bring him fresh clothes.

She found his gun in the desk drawer he usually kept it
in when at home.

All seemed ready. Dana decided to do a quick check of the
rooms, just to make sure that nothing had been left on or
plugged in that shouldn't be.

Maggie joined her in the kitchen. Dana surveyed the
contents of the fridge as well. The time for sorting
through the fridge and kitchen cupboards and throwing
things out would come later.

Despite his bachelor image, Mulder rarely had a pitiful
supply of groceries. A food service delivered it when he
emailed in an order, which would be left with the
building supervisor for Mulder to collect. Mulder didn't
want anyone in his apartment in case an informant visited
or someone was searching or bugging his apartment... And
with his lifestyle, the delivery was convenient.

Maggie said, "He *did* eat, Dana. Often he would meet me
for lunch, and he would order a decent meal. Both in size
and content. He would eat it. But I got the impression he
wasn't really tasting it - just eating as a function, a
process. Something that had to be done to keep his
strength up."

"But he's thinner... Mulder has a high metabolism. He can
eat a lot and not gain any weight. Even if he was eating
- or perhaps eating in front of you because he had to -
he was losing ground." Dana sighed.

"I found these." Maggie showed her daughter a bottle of
vitamin and mineral supplements on the counter. Next to
it was a number of empty power bar wrappers.

Dana examined the bottle. It was an off-the-shelf
supplement from a drug store.

"Should we pack that in his bag?" Maggie asked.

Dana hesitated, then said, "Knowing Mulder, he probably
bought them but kept forgetting to take them regularly.
The power bars would have been more convenient for him.
This supplement looks very much like one a layman would
buy instead of what a nutritionist would recommend, and
so probably wasn't helping him that much."

"At least he was trying. Anyway, you're home and safe, so
that's a great amount of stress removed from him, and
we're going to make sure that he gets some decent meals.
He should begin gaining ground instead of losing it or
being in limbo."

Dana nodded. And she could keep a close eye on him.
"We'll take them along just in case, but I don't think
they'll be needed." She handed the bottle of vitamin and
mineral supplements and the bottle of sleeping pills to
Maggie.

She felt her spirits flagging rapidly, and self-blame was
a large part of it.  Shoving her recriminations aside for
the moment, she finished her quick appliance survey and
then hurried back into the living room and to her
partner's side. Maggie put the bottles in Mulder's bag,
then picked it up to take with them.

Dana reached over and zipped Mulder's coat up. At least
he was dressed enough to get down to the car.

The sooner they got him out of here, the better. "Mulder?
Mulder!" He stirred. She shook him. Gently at first, then
with more force. "Mulder!"

He mumbled and moved his head.

It broke her heart to have to rouse him from his much
needed and deserved sleep (and hopefully peace), but
there was no choice. She pinched his earlobe. "MULDER!"

His eyelids fluttered, then snapped open. He stared at
her.

"Mulder, it's me."

"Scully?" He was staring at her as if... she were a
goddess. "Please be here. Please don't be a dream...."

"I'm here. I'm real."

He was still half asleep thanks to the sedative in his
system, but at least he knew who she was. "Don't leave.
Not again...." he said.

"I'm not going to. I want you to come with me. Can you
get up?"

Somehow she managed to convince him to sit up. She paused
Mulder there for a minute, not wanting him to stand too
suddenly and collapse.

"Hello, Fox," Maggie said gently. Melissa chimed in a
'Hi'. Mulder registered their presence, but that was
about it. Both of them could see that he was still so out
of it that he wasn't bothering to ask what they were
doing in his apartment or how they got in. The only thing
he seemed to notice or care about was that Dana was
there.

With Dana's encouragement, Mulder stood up. He wobbled a
little, blinking. Melissa wanted to go and stand beside
them, knowing that Dana would not have the physical
strength to prop him up if he became dizzy or stumbled.
Unfortunately, with all the rubble on the floor, there
wasn't enough room.

Somehow the three women were able to guide and help
Mulder through the minefield and out his apartment door
without incident. He didn't ask where they were going or
why; he just went along with the flow - or rather where
Dana led him. A moth to her flame.

In the elevator the women leaned him against one of the
walls and kept talking to him, worried that otherwise he
would go back to sleep and start sliding to the floor.
Dana asked him questions, like his name and address, to
keep him alert. She was relieved when she received the
correct answers.

They got him into the backseat of Maggie's car, careful
not to bump his head. Dana immediately raced around the
car and got in the back herself. She fastened his
seatbelt and watched as he leaned back against the
headrest. He was asleep again before Maggie turned the
key in the ignition. Melissa sat in the front passenger
seat and moved her seat forward to give Mulder more
legroom.

Dana had ached to talk to him again, to see him again.
Now she couldn't really talk to him, not yet, but she
could look. Would she dare touch?

Upon waking from her coma, she had seen medical staff and
very quickly her mother and sister. While confused, she
was happy to see them, but it was Mulder she looked for
and asked for.

At an intersection, Maggie looked at her backseat
passengers. She could tell that Dana was holding Fox's
hand. She doubted it was just to check his pulse.

"Do you think we should take him to a hospital?" Maggie
asked her younger daughter.

The question jolted Dana from her worried vigil. "His
pulse is strong and aside from the expected drowsiness
caused by the sleeping pill, he seems all right. I'll
keep an eye on him. And once we get back to your place,
Mom, I'll check to make sure that he's not anemic or
suffering from low blood sugar."

"But those require blood tests, don't they? And a
laboratory?"

"My med bag has self-testing meters that will soon tell
me whether he's suffering from either. I just need to
prick his finger, put a drop of blood on the special
testing strip and stick it in the meter for the required
time."

Dana was glad that her med bag was at Maggie's - she had
asked her mother to bring it there before she came home
from the hospital, to be able to run checks on herself if
needed.

Maggie gave a brief stare in the mirror. "You keep meters
like that in your bag?"

"With Mulder, it pays to have a well stocked med bag that
covers every eventuality. If the meter readings show
trouble or I get the feeling that his behaviour isn't
just from exhaustion and the sleeping pill, then he's
going straight to the ER for an EEG and CT scan."

Melissa said, "He's all right. What help he needs, he can
get at Mom's. Food, for one thing." She did not elaborate
on what the other things might be.

Dana said, "Besides, you have to be just about dying to
get admitted to a hospital. They won't take him just to
fatten him up."

"Then that will have to be our job," Maggie remarked. She
knew that this excursion had proven to be more stressful
and tiring for Dana than expected, even if her daughter
wouldn't admit it, so the sooner she got Fox and Dana to
her house, the better.

Maggie and Melissa spent some of the car trip quietly
talking about what Melissa was up to at the moment. When
Dana had disappeared it had been difficult for Maggie to
contact her eldest daughter, who was travelling and
working in Europe.

Now Melissa was back in D.C. and was employed as a
masseuse and aroma therapist on weekdays. She planned on
staying in the area for the moment, sharing a house with
two friends in Takoma Park.

When the Scully women arrived at Maggie's house, Melissa
went in first to get the sofa bed ready in the living
room to avoid the logistical nightmare of getting Mulder
upstairs to a bedroom.

Melissa debated for a moment about turning the thermostat
up, then decided to leave it. She pulled the bed out,
then hurriedly grabbed the bare essentials from the linen
closet upstairs - some blankets and sheets. The rest
could wait until Mulder was safely in bed. She loosely
threw one of the sheets over the mattress - they could
tuck it in when settling him.

They were able to wake him again in the car without too
much trouble, and he knew Dana, though was still 'foggy'.
Then the Scully women got him inside, into the living
room. As soon as Mulder was lying on the sofa bed, he
fell asleep again. The trio of females quickly tucked the
bottom sheet under the mattress before it got tangled up,
then Dana unzipped his coat while Maggie and Melissa each
set to work on a foot. By the time they had removed his
boots and socks, Dana had removed his coat by herself.

Maggie raised an eyebrow. Melissa smiled.

Dana flushed. This wasn't the first time she had
'stripped' Mulder. And she found herself thinking that
unfortunately all of those times had been for 'business'
- Mulder injured, Mulder exhausted after profiling,
Mulder dripping wet and in danger of hypothermia - rather
than for pleasure.

Focus, Dana.

Then attention turned to the next article of clothing to
be removed. Mulder's jeans. Suddenly the atmosphere
changed from amused to awkward.

"Well...." Maggie said. "We could let him sleep in them.
The waist is loose."

"In that case, it will be easy to get them off once
unbuttoned and unzipped," Melissa said. She didn't have
to be psychically gifted to sense the territoriality that
was positively radiating from Dana's aura.

Maggie could sense it too. Even the neighbours could
probably feel it. Maggie briefly wondered what Fox would
think of three women standing over him, discussing
whether or not to divest him of his jeans. But the
problem remained, as did the feeling of possessiveness
coming from her daughter.

Margaret said, "Melissa, honey, could you come help me
get some pillows and more blankets, so we can finish
making up the bed?"

Her elder daughter struggled not to laugh. "Sure, Mom.
Those pure wool blankets are much heavier to lift than
the wool blend ones." Missy and her mother hurriedly
exited.

Dana barely noticed. She sat down beside Mulder and
tenderly ran a hand through his hair. She would have
stayed like that for a long time, but with the cold
weather she wanted to get her partner undressed and under
the blankets as soon as possible.

xXx

When Maggie and Melissa returned, the jeans were neatly
folded over an armchair and Mulder was lying on his side,
covered by the blankets that were already there. Dana had
taken his wallet and a few other items out of the pockets
of his jeans and put them in a side section of his
overnight bag. She took a pillow from Maggie and gently
raised Mulder's head to put it in place.

Maggie went to give her the second pillow, but Dana shook
her head. "He only sleeps with one."

And with you? Maggie found that question on the tip of
her tongue. She would not ask it though. Could not.

Besides, she didn't think so.

But she could not help thinking how Dana had Fox's key.
And of his own reaction when he first arrived at Dana's
hospital bed after she had been found. Yelling in fury at
the staff, demanding answers, then having to be dragged
away. The reaction of a lover, not a friend or work
colleague.

Maggie reminded herself that her daughter and Fox spent a
lot of time on the road while on cases, in motel rooms,
so it was logical that Dana knew Fox was a one pillow
man.

Still, this was one rare instance where Margaret was glad
that her husband was not around. Or Bill Junior....

Then Dana stepped away from the bed and said quietly,
"Actually I will need that pillow, and another. If a
person is deeply sedated, there's the danger of
aspiration if they aren't lying on their side. With one
sleeping pill and a normal reaction to it, there wouldn't
be a problem, but even one pill can really knock Mulder
around."

"Then it's a good thing that nothing happened to him
while he was on his couch earlier," Maggie said.

Dana nodded. "True, though with that couch and Mulder's
height, lying on his side would be the more comfortable
position." She hesitated. "From his reactions, his sleep
is light enough now for position not to be a problem. He
still might not be able to stay awake, but he's not in
danger of aspirating."

Maggie picked up the tone in her voice - and the fact
that Dana had still asked for another pillow regardless.
"But...." she asked leadingly.

Dana looked down at Mulder. He was still lying on his
side, on the left half of the bed, facing outwards. "A
pillow or two behind his back to encourage him to stay on
his side wouldn't hurt," she admitted. It would make her
feel better.

Maggie nodded. "I'll get another."

She ended up bringing a few pillows down. Dana selected
what else was needed from the piles that Melissa and
Maggie had presented to her and the three women fixed the
bed up. When Mulder awakened they would move him
upstairs, or if dinner was ready at that stage, move him
upstairs later on.

If he stayed.

Dana didn't intend to give him a choice in the matter.

Melissa fetched the med bag from upstairs. It was a large
version of the typical black medical bag.

Dana pulled out the required meters and set them up. She
tried waking Mulder to explain what she was going to do
and why, but he didn't seem to care.

Though when she pricked his finger, he started and
muttered something about vampires.

The meter readings showed that Mulder wasn't anemic or
suffering from low blood sugar. Dana did a few more tests
for her own reassurance, like listening to his heart and
lungs. She checked his neuro signs as best she could
despite knowing it was a waste of time until he was
properly awake, then packed her gear away.

"Would the sleeping pill or pills have affected the meter
readings?" Melissa asked, making sure to keep her voice
down.

"Not that medication, no," Dana answered. She had checked
to be sure.

With that out of the way, Maggie went around the room,
closing the drapes. "I'll start dinner soon. Melissa,
will you be staying?"

"Yes. I think I'll stick around overnight, too."

"Wonderful. It will be nice to have both my girls home.
And I'll be as quiet as I can in the kitchen." She
indicated the sleeping Mulder as she said the latter.

There was plenty of food already ready in the fridge,
some of which Maggie had prepared or started to prepare
while Dana was napping, and leftovers. Maggie had wanted
to ensure there was a lot on hand any time that Dana felt
hungry, and a range of things to see what appealed to her
appetite. So having two extra at the table tonight was
not a problem. And the bounty in the fridge meant less
time was needed rattling around in the kitchen, cooking,
so that reduced the chance of disturbing Fox. If she and
the girls wanted to talk, they could go into the sunroom
and close the door.

Though hopefully.... "Dana, do you want to go upstairs
and have another rest for a while?" Maggie asked. The
determination and adrenalin that had fuelled Dana on
their 'rescue mission' were most likely ebbing by now.
Maggie looked at Dana, who looked at her sleeping partner
and then to the remaining blankets and pillow that were
piled on the other sofa. Then Maggie knew that if her
daughter did agree to another nap there would be no 'go
upstairs' about it.

xXx

The partners were alone in the room. Dana was about to
settle down on the sofa when Mulder stirred on the sofa
bed. Immediately she was at his side. She quickly saw
that he wasn't awake yet. He shifted, face drawn. "No,"
he mumbled, upset. "No...."

"Shhhhh. Shhh, it's okay." Dana stroked his face and ran
her fingers tenderly through his hair. "It's all right,
Mulder." He leaned into her touch and settled back down.

Around ten minutes passed. Mulder did not become restless
again. Dana eventually tore herself away from his side.
"I'll just be over here," she whispered, wondering if the
reassurance was more for him or her. She lay down on the
sofa under a few blankets and watched Mulder's huddled
form until she couldn't stay awake any longer.

END PART TWO OF ELEVEN

(3/11)

xXx

When Dana woke up, she could hear muted noises coming
from the kitchen. She rolled over and looked across at
the sofa bed, her eyes adapting to the dark. Mulder
appeared to still be sleeping. She got up slowly - so as
to not wake him and also in needed deference to her own
recovering body - turned on a nearby lamp, and quietly
padded over to check on him. Yes, still asleep, but she
had a feeling he would wake up soon.

She quietly left the room to go to the bathroom and then
check in with the dinner preparations. And to ask Maggie
some more questions about Mulder during her missing time.

xXx

Mulder slowly opened his eyes.

A bed. He was in a bed. Motel room? He raised his head,
which felt like it was stuffed with cotton, and looked
around, blinking in the lamplight.

He was... This was a living room? A sofa bed?

The room looked vaguely familiar, but he couldn't place
it. Lots of flowers.... He felt hung over. As Mulder sat
up, he thought he heard a noise somewhere. "Hello?"

He was trying to get his brain back online. A jumble of
thoughts galloped through.

I am Fox William Mulder.
Scully is missing.
No! She was found. She's safe. She's okay.
Sam is still missing.
I'm so tired.
Where am I?
How did I get here?
What are those pillows doing there?

His emotions crashed back and forth, all in those few
seconds of thought. He stumbled to his feet and swayed
dangerously. Then a woman entered the room.

Scully.
It's true, she's alive.
My mind isn't playing tricks. She's right here in front
of me.
And I'm in my boxer shorts.

Dana almost laughed when the befuddled Mulder gasped and
grabbed at a blanket, pulling it across his front. Whose
dignity was his sleep-addled mind protecting - his or
hers? After all of those times in motel rooms when he had
paced in front of her in his boxer shorts while
expounding a theory that had come to him at three in the
morning. Or the rarer times when she had accidentally
stumbled across him just out of the shower, when he was
naked and rummaging in his suitcase for his underwear.
Completely unselfconscious.

He certainly had the body to be.

"Mulder," she began, stepping forward. Her hand was out
to reassure and steady him as he stared at her, dazed,
blanket still clutched in position.

Then behind her came Maggie's whispered voice. "Is he
awake?" She heard her mother and sister enter.

It was overload. Mulder let loose a startled yell and
dove under the covers. Again Dana's first instinct was to
laugh, but she did not. Just as well - for a second later
Mulder's face appeared and there was nothing funny about
his anguished expression. "Where am I? What's going on?"
he pleaded.

"Mulder, it's okay.  You're *not* dreaming. You're at my
mother's house. Remember?"

He sat up and looked around, recognising the room.
"But... I can't.... How did I get here?" Completely
disoriented, he was breathing heavily and shaking.

Melissa turned the main living room lights on as Dana sat
next to him on the bed and put her hand over his own left
hand, which currently had a death-grip on a clump of
blanket. "It's all right, Mulder. We went to your
apartment earlier and brought you back here. You'd taken
a sleeping pill, so that's why you can't remember much."

"Oh." Mulder rubbed at his face with one hand, the hung-
over feeling explained. He realised that his other hand
had stopped clutching the blankets, instead slipping
easily into a clasp with Scully's fingers. "But... why?
Why did you bring me here?"

The trio of women exchanged looks. How much to tell and
how to tell it?

"Well, Mulder -" Dana began.

Maggie's voice cut in, gentle but firm. "You looked like
you needed some good meals and some good sleep and we
were determined to make sure that you got them, young
man. The first of those meals is almost ready."

Mulder stared at Maggie. Dana felt that burning sensation
again, knowing all too well what it was like to wake up
in a strange place with no recollection of arriving
there. Missing time. She recaptured his attention with a
squeeze of his fingers.

"I know it must seem like you've gone through the looking
glass. I'm sorry, Mulder. We just couldn't leave you."
Dana waited for Mulder to recall the state of his
apartment and make some comment.

"Oh, okay." He still seemed too dazed to make the
connection. But then he looked alarmed. "You went to my
apartment?"

"Yes."

"Oh. The maid hadn't come yet..." he said uncomfortably,
attempting humour.

Dana wanted to ask more about it, but not now. Not with
her mother and sister present and not with Mulder like
this. "I told Mom and Missy that your office clutter was
even worse," she replied lightly.

He gave a faint smile and shifted on the bed. "Um... I
need to...visit...."

"Of course. Do you remember where it is?" Maggie asked.

"I'll show you," Dana said quickly.

Maggie picked a thick robe up from where she had draped
it over the back of a chair earlier. She held it out to
Mulder. "Here. This was my husband's bathrobe."

"I couldn't -" Mulder said.

"He wouldn't mind. You need to keep warm."

Mulder looked down at what he was wearing. And his
sluggish brain knew that when he had crashed on the couch
in his apartment, he had been wearing a lot more.

"That's right, Mulder. You slept through three women
stripping you," Melissa said blithely.

He blinked. "Oh. Okay...." was his only comment as he
took the robe and put it on, trying to work out if she
was joking.

Dana shot Missy a murderous look. "Peace, Dana," Melissa
sent back. "The man needs some humour."

Mulder was staring at them in bemusement. "Don't worry,"
Melissa couldn't help adding. "Dana only let us near your
extremities."

He laughed. It sounded rusty. And Dana felt a tiny bubble
of jealousy in her that she had not been the one to make
him do that. But she quickly shook it off. She did feel
like retorting to her sister that she knew from personal
experience that Mulder's extremities were extreme. But
she held her tongue.

"Define extremities," Mulder fired back at Melissa with a
grin, then he glanced at Maggie and blushed.

Margaret *was* shocked - not by the banter though, which
Fox seemed to fear was too off colour for her
sensibilities. He seemed to forget that she had raised
two boys. And Dana may not have told him that Bill Senior
possessed a typical sailor's vocabulary.

What had really caught Maggie by surprise was that she
had known Fox Mulder for months now, but this was the
first time she had actually heard him laugh. She had seen
a sweet joy on his face when he first visited the out-of-
danger Dana in the hospital, but here was amusement. His
expression was firmly in the 'sunnier side of the
spectrum', as Missy used to say.

And it made him look so handsome that if she were still
as young as her daughters, she knew it would take her
kneecaps out....

xXx

Dana and Mulder headed towards the downstairs bathroom.
He was wearing the robe and a pair of his socks that Dana
had quickly fetched, seeing as the floor wasn't all wall
to wall carpeting. She watched him with the eyes of a
physician, checking his gait, his balance, his hand-eye
co-ordination. She had also observed the way he talked
and interacted in the living room. To her relief, he was
passing those neuro checks.

And Dana wondered if Mulder was embarrassed or annoyed at
being basically kidnapped from his apartment....

"Scully?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you okay?" The last time they had been together was
when she was still in the hospital. Mulder knew it had
been days since he had seen her, but was alarmed that he
didn't know exactly how many. Or even what day and date
today was....

"I'm okay, Mulder," Dana reassured him. She wanted to add
that he was the one they were all worried about, but
thought that would make him more uncomfortable.

They were outside the downstairs bathroom now. The
partners stopped and hesitated. Mulder absently rubbed at
his finger, then noticed it bore a pinprick and stared in
confusion.

"That was me," Dana said. "I was checking to make sure we
didn't need to take you to a hospital."

"Oh."

"After dinner you can have a shower if you like. There
won't be enough time now."

"Shower?" He knew they were intent on feeding him, but
had assumed that was it - a meal then a cab ride home. A
shower sounded like they also had plans for the evening
and night. Unless he wasn't smelling all that pretty...

"Yes. You're our houseguest." Dana was giving him a firm
look.

Trying to find a diplomatic solution, Mulder ran a hand
over his rough chin. "I haven't got my shaving kit.
Designer stubble is very in, but if I have a shower I
don't have anything to change into."

"We've got your overnight bag in the living room.
Everything is in there." With that announcement, Dana
mentioned she had to get something from her bedroom, and
left him alone.

He stared after her. They had even brought along his
overnight bag? Well, that explained the socks....

Mulder realised he was 'trapped', so to speak. They would
not take no for an answer. His mind raced, trying to
think up an excuse that would get him out of here after
dinner. They would probably be insulted if he tried.

Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn.

How did he get into this situation? One minute he had
been asleep on his couch, the next -

He had to make the best of the situation, he told
himself, admitting defeat. Just for one night, then the
Scully women would be happy. He could last for one night,
surely. Perhaps knowing that Scully was nearby would help
him.

Mulder wondered what the Gunmen would think if he told
them about waking up here sans his jacket and pants.

Then suddenly he remembered something and thanked his
lucky stars. When chasing a man who stole Scully's blood
sample at the hospital, the man had gained the upper hand
before X stepped in. The incident had left Mulder with a
collection of bruises. They were fading now but Scully
would have been alarmed if she saw them and then started
wanting answers he really didn't want to give her.
Fortunately the marks were mostly limited to the places
covered up by his t-shirt and boxer shorts, so Mulder was
fairly sure they had escaped detection. He'd hit the back
of his head against the floor with enough force to
temporarily daze him, but he didn't think that left a
mark. If it had, his hair was a good cover.

He had been very lucky, not only in the placement of the
bruises, but that no serious injury came out of the
beating. His body had ached for days afterwards, but he
had moved freely enough, able to compartmentalise the
discomfort - too distracted by Scully's condition and his
burning desire for revenge. Then his hatred of himself,
which led to him tendering his resignation. Waiting for
Scully's kidnappers.... The happiness of seeing her alive
and awake.

A few minutes later Mulder came out of the bathroom. He
was thirsty, so went into the kitchen.

Maggie was there, stirring something on the stove. It
smelled good. I might actually be hungry, he thought. It
would be interesting to see if his tastebuds were still
on vacation. They smiled at each other, Mulder somewhat
awkwardly.

His eyes popped at the amount and variety of food already
out, ready to be moved into the dining room.

Margaret told him, "After we have soup, the rest is
smorgasbord, Fox. You can have whatever you want in
whatever amount you want."

"Great." He knew that Maggie kept glasses and mugs in a
certain overhead cupboard. He nodded at it and asked,
"May I?"

"Of course. Help yourself. There's juice and milk in the
fridge as well as water. Dana wouldn't be happy if you
got dehydrated," she joked.

He leaned against the counter, sipping at some water.
"Mrs Scully -"

"Maggie," she said with a smile. She wondered if he would
then gently insist on being called by his surname the
next time she said 'Fox'. No, actually she knew he
wouldn't dare.

He looked down at his feet. "I'm sorry about...."

Maggie turned from the stove and stared at him. "Sorry
for what, Fox?"

Mulder was on the edge of blurting out about the state of
his apartment and the condition he was probably found in,
especially since he couldn't remember, but changed his
mind at the last second. "For before. How I reacted when
I woke up. I didn't mean to be so...ungrateful...."

She came over and put a hand on his arm. "You were
nothing of the sort. But if you feel you must do penance
for your very understandable reaction, then you can do so
by eating dinner."

xXx

It was dinnertime. Once everyone was seated, Maggie bowed
her head, closed her eyes, and said, "Bless us, O Lord,
and these thy gifts, which we are about to receive from
thy bounty, through Christ, our Lord. Amen."

Her three guests all said 'Amen', though Maggie knew that
Melissa and Fox were only doing so out of politeness and
respect. Dana still attended church on major holidays but
did not attend weekly. Maggie did not want to hazard a
guess on how long it had been since Dana last attended
confession. Her younger daughter still had deep faith
though, and that was important.

Melissa had long ago abandoned Catholicism. Maggie well
remembered her husband's reaction when Missy first said
'Goddess' instead of 'God' in front of them. And then
steadfastly stuck with it.

Maggie had been disappointed, but she also understood her
eldest daughter, who had inherited her own free
spiritedness, only magnified at least four-fold. Maggie
had quelled some of her own 'wilder tendencies' because
they were just not acceptable during the time she was
growing up. Then by the time that the 60's and hippydom
hit full time, she was already a young married woman and
mother with a husband who was trying to build a career in
the conservative navy.

During the 60's, when a protest march was shown on the
TV, her conservative husband would often grumble and
jeer, but Maggie would be silently cheering or
empathising with the marchers, as long as they didn't do
anything violent.

But somehow she and Bill had just 'clicked', despite
their different outlooks. Much like Dana and Fox....

She returned her attention back to the meal. Dana had
told Maggie that her partner loved chicken soup, so she
felt safe serving it up first. And soup would probably be
best to ease him back into proper eating and, just like
with Dana, recovery of his appetite. He said that one
ladleful would be plenty. Maggie didn't press him. Dana
was progressing in the size of her portions, but was
still not eating as much as usual. Her mother hoped that
was not because of her weight gain.

Melissa started talking to Dana about something. Maggie
didn't pick up on the subject, because she was distracted
by Fox. He had picked up his soup spoon and dipped it
into the bowl, but his hand was shaking, in danger of
spilling the contents. He glared at it, as if willing it
to cease, then quickly glanced around the table to see if
anyone had noticed.

Maggie fortunately was not the first one he looked at -
Dana took top billing, of course - so she had time to
move her gaze elsewhere. Her daughters were still
chatting. Maggie picked up a roll from a pile on a small
platter, broke it up, and dipped a piece into her soup.
"There are rolls and crackers here if anyone wants them."

Fox blushed slightly and gave her a grateful look before
proceeding to use the bread to soak up the soup and then
eat with a far less noticeable 'shake factor'.

Maggie thought he should be all right with the rest of
the meal. 'Stabbing' food involved less of a shake factor
than scooping.

As the minutes passed she could see that Fox was not
reacting to whether something was hot or cold or
satisfying. Just like at their lunches, he was eating
like it was a mechanical process, something automatic,
instead of savouring a bite. Maggie reassured herself
that Fox would soon regain the habit of eating for
pleasure.

Mulder's mind was also on his appetite. His tastebuds had
seemed to vanish along with his partner. Over that
frantic, empty time, he *had* eaten. He had not felt like
doing so, but made himself eat proper meals as often as
he could manage on most days, because he knew he had to
keep his strength up to keep searching for Scully and his
mind clear. The trouble was that everything just tasted
bland, or like cardboard. Even his favourite fast foods.
Also, the stress and worry and rushing around and
everything else took weight off him, despite his
preventative efforts. For once his metabolism was working
against him. He would not have really noticed his weight
loss at the time if he didn't have to adjust his belt
notch when dressing for work. At that point he tried not
to wolf food down, taking it more slowly instead, but
although the gradual weight loss stopped, the pounds were
not going back on.

Now, sitting in Maggie's dining room, Mulder could
actually have a meal without his brain churning away. His
thoughts had been occupied with locating Scully and his
stomach often felt sick with worry, amongst other
emotions. When he took a mouthful of dessert he realised
he was getting a little of his sense of taste back. Or
perhaps it had been there all along, when he was too
distracted to notice or care.

Mulder and Dana both surreptitiously tried to observe how
much their partner was eating, wondering if the other
wasn't having as much because they weren't one hundred
percent, or in an attempt to not make their partner feel
bad about their own relatively small portions.

I'm to blame for this, Mulder thought.

Worrying about me has made him like this, Dana thought.

xXx

Maggie and Melissa insisted that they had the dishes
covered. The dishwasher wasn't working and a repairman
was coming the following week, so mother and daughter
were going to do it the old fashioned way. Maggie said,
"Dana, take Fox upstairs and make sure he knows where
everything is so he can have a shower now if he likes."

Mulder could not believe the kindness he was being shown.
How could Maggie treat him like a son after he had caused
her daughter to be abducted?

He tried to put that to one side and went upstairs to the
bathroom. After a brief 'tour' of the room, Scully left
him in there. She had given him his overnight bag. Now he
rummaged through it. The bag had been packed thoroughly.

Yep, as he thought, they were determined that he would
stay the night....

Just then Scully's voice came from the other side of the
door. Talking to him. Asking if he needed anything.

She's checking to make sure that I'm all right.

That set off a mixture of emotions: the act touched him,
while at the same time he felt guilty that she should
feel it was necessary, and there was also a little anger
at the close watch she was imposing on him like he was a
child. Plus he was putting the whole family out. And he
had worried Scully...

Once Scully was reassured and had left, he got his
shaving kit out. A few weeks previously he had purchased
an electric razor, wanting to avoid ordinary razors after
the incident with Kristen on the vampire case. With the
shaking hand he had tonight, an electric razor was just
as well. Shaving brought a set of painful memories. But
at least not as painful as they could have been.

Painful enough of course, because a young woman was dead.
Kristen had taken the group of vampires with her,
including the ex-boyfriend who kept pursuing her.

Mulder's mind filled with images of Kristen shaving him,
cutting him - deliberately? - then they were kissing, a
part of their minds casting off rational thought and
wanting escape, however temporary, from their personal
hells.

Fortunately, while Mulder's heart and most of his mind
had been shoved aside in this insane desperation, his
body was also suffering, and could not get up to par.
Literally.

Thank God.

Instead he and Kristen had ended up talking through a lot
of that night, easing their demons in a better way. He
hoped that had given her some measure of comfort before
her death.

Everyone who came near him suffered....

xXx

When Mulder came downstairs and into the living room,
Dana looked up and noticed that the beard stubble had
actually contributed most of the colour to his face. Now
it was gone. He had shadows around his eyes. But with
more good meals and more sleep, the natural colour would
start to come back and he would fill in. Mulder was tall
and thin to start with - it wouldn't take that huge a
loss of weight to make a difference in his appearance.
Enough to be noticeable.

At least she had seen him eating.

She kept reassuring herself about him. The weight she
judged that he had lost over three months was not really
all that fast - she knew it had been gradual from her
quizzing of Maggie about Mulder's physical appearance
during that time. The body gradually adapted. The effects
could be less visible, like his immune system perhaps not
being up to snuff.

If he didn't gain ground, she would then get a
nutritionist involved.

Having come to that decision, Dana turned her mind back
to the present.

The sofa bed had been folded away. Dana was lying on one
of the sofas, watching a channel that was running a
comedy night, while her sister sat on the other and their
mother occupied an armchair. Dana's position, taking up
the sofa, was not so much to be comfortable or because
she was tired - she had an ulterior motive. When Mulder
entered the room and hesitated, she sat up and indicated
that he could join her. She was sure that Maggie and
Melissa were wise to her ploy but that she had been
casual enough for Mulder not to suspect.

It worked anyway. Mulder smiled and sat down next to her.
It was as close as they could get or dared get. And soon
enough it would be time to turn in and they would be in
separate rooms.

Dana's choice of viewing was also geared towards Mulder.
She wanted to see him laugh again and lose himself in
some silliness. They had gone through enough drama.

The four also chatted amongst themselves when the screen
did not captivate their attention. Light subjects.

Dana felt herself tiring. She could see Mulder's jaw
muscles ripple as he clamped down on a yawn. Now to get
Mulder to bed without creating any undue embarrassment
for him.

"Well, I think I'll go get ready to turn in," Dana said.
"Mulder, I'll show you your room."

He looked startled. "My room?"

She pointed to his sleepwear and her father's robe.
"We're hardly letting you go anywhere like that.
Remember, I said that you are our guest."

"I know, but...."

Maggie nodded. "Fox, I've made up the bed in the spare
room for you."

"Upstairs? But I thought I'd be down here." He indicated
the sofa. He had thought that the bed was just
temporarily packed away so they could all sit in the
living room for a while.

"We don't want to leave you down on the sofa bed all
night!" Maggie replied.

"He's used to couches," Dana said, while wondering why
Mulder was looking so uncomfortable - she felt it was
something beyond him feeling that he was imposing on the
household. But what?

"And used to motel beds. But seriously, Maggie -" It felt
strange to call her by her first name. He didn't think
he'd done anything to earn the right. "- the sofa bed is
fine."

"Fox, this house has four bedrooms. Plenty of room for us
all. You'll be much more comfortable upstairs," Maggie
said.

Mulder felt a sinking feeling in his soul. He'd feel a
lot better if he could stay downstairs. Not only because
there would be a TV in the room....

But he and Dana were tiring and he could hardly expect
the rest of the family to have to stop entertaining
themselves in the living room and go elsewhere just
because he wanted to remain on the sofa to sleep.

And also if he kept protesting that the sofa bed was
fine, the ladies of the household were going to press him
until they had the answer why.

Not a chance. He had been lucky enough to get away with
it this afternoon.


END PART THREE OF ELEVEN

(4/11)

xXx

At the top of the stairs, Dana looked at Mulder. "Okay,
as you know, the bathroom is in the middle here. My room
is on the right and Mom's room is just across the hall.
Missy is sleeping there," Dana pointed to the room
nearest to her on the left, "and you're across from it."

Dana led her partner into his room. His overnight bag was
there and the sheets on the bed were turned down. An
extra blanket was folded at the foot of the bed.

"I could get used to such luxury."

You'd better, partner, she thought, because I have no
intention of letting you out of this house just yet.

Mulder walked over to a bookcase and examined the titles.
Dana recognised some of them as books not taken by her
and Missy and the boys when they left home, and some that
her parents had collected over the years.

"Some late night reading?" she asked.

He smiled. "Perhaps." If he couldn't have television on -
this room didn't have one and he wouldn't want to keep
anyone awake with the noise - reading was the next best
thing.

"Do you think you'll be all right on a mattress?" Dana
continued. "I mean - seeing as you practically live on
your couch."

"I've had to get used to mattresses when we're in motels.
And to get used to sleeping in different beds. I'll be
fine."

Dana gave him a searching look. He gave her his best
reassuring look.

Perhaps it wasn't enough because she hesitated and said,
"We put the bottle of sleeping tablets in your bag. In
case you needed them."

"Oh. Thanks." Taking one wouldn't do any good. Besides,
he'd already gotten plenty of sleep today. Well, more
than he had been lately, anyway. Hopefully enough to
cover tonight. And then if he could get through breakfast
tomorrow, he could get a taxi back to his apartment and
keel over on the couch and catch up on whatever sleep he
would lose tonight. In his own apartment, alone, it
didn't matter if he -

Scully was talking. He pulled his focus back to her and
saw a mixture of reluctance and resolution at war on her
face.

"Mulder... I know it's not my business, but.... Those
sleeping pills. You hardly ever take them, apart from
when you're in the hospital or recovering from an injury
on the scale of when you were shot in the leg. When you
woke up at your apartment you said you'd gotten out of
the habit of sleeping. And then I saw the date on the
bottle. That's a prescription from *after* I woke up from
the coma."

"Seemed as good a time as any to get some sleep."

"Mulder -"

"Scully, if I said that I'd gotten out of the habit of
sleeping, it was just an expression. One coming from a
drugged-up mind at that. So there's no need to read
anything into it. No one can survive without sleep -
well, apart from those soldiers Krycek and I
investigated." He pulled a face at that hated name.

Dana hesitated. Mulder did have a point. She just hoped
that he had not cheated himself of enough sleep in his
desperation to find her. She knew how he had bouts of
insomnia that were tied to difficult cases or personal
crises. Afterwards he would crash and then get back to
normal sleeping patterns. Until the next time.

Mulder for his part had no intention of telling Scully
just how much her disappearance and his frantic search
had affected his sleeping patterns, beyond even the usual
difficulties when he was in an 'insomnia patch'.

There had been too much to do, leads to follow and
recheck, and not enough hours in the day to do it all,
especially if your body started bitching for rest. But,
just like with eating, he had tried to ensure there were
regular periods where he gave himself as much rest as
possible - he hadn't wanted exhaustion to lead to
carelessness and to him making a mistake that would cost
him Scully permanently.

Good thing Scully didn't know that he had actually dozed
off at the wheel of a car while pursuing Duane Barry.

Once Mulder had received the news that she had come out
of her coma and was all right, and saw for himself, he
thought the crash that he had been trying to stave off
would now happen and then things would be back to normal,
without the nightmares. But it was like he was going
through reaction or delayed shock - exhausted, but unable
to zonk out. The sleep he was getting just wasn't
refreshing him. As for the nightmares.... So he had
gotten the sleeping pills.

Scully seemed to be buying his reasoning, fortunately. He
said to her, "I shouldn't need anything to get to sleep
tonight. But at least I have them if I need them. Thank
you."

"Okay." She gave him a quick reminder that if he did take
any pills, he was to make a 'pillow barricade' to
encourage him to stay on his side. She inwardly winced at
how mothering she was probably sounding, but over this
issue, she couldn't help it. "Well, it's been a long day.
I'll let you get settled in."

Before she moved away from his side there was one thing
she had to do. She didn't dare examine the need. But she
could not leave the room without doing so. She touched
his hand. His fingers closed gently over hers for a
moment. As quick as a beat from a butterfly's wings, but
containing emotion deeper than the ocean.

A connection, however brief, before they parted for the
night.

Dana reluctantly took her leave. It was on the tip of
Mulder's tongue to ask if she wanted company...

She left the door slightly ajar. Mulder waited a minute
then quietly went over and closed it.

Then he examined his surroundings more closely. With the
main light off, hopefully the glow of the bedside lamp
would not show strongly to anyone in the hallway.

He selected a book from the shelf and settled down in bed
to read it. He didn't want to get too comfortable -
heaven forbid that - and he doubted he could keep the
wolves at bay for the whole night. He had to try though.

About forty-five minutes later there was a soft rap at
the door. "Come in."

Maggie's head cautiously appeared. "I was just about to
go to bed when I saw your light on."

Well, that answered that question.

"I wanted to make sure you didn't need anything."

"I'm fine. I was only going to read a chapter of this
then go to sleep, but I guess I got caught up and didn't
notice the time. I'll turn the lamp off now."

"No, you don't have to."

Maggie looked tired too. Mulder again chalked this up to
his fault. He was like a disease.

When Scully's mother went to bed, Mulder wondered whether
he could sneak downstairs to the sofa and spend the night
there. Then, when discovered, he could spin a tale about
going down for a glass of juice or a snack then feeling
awake so he decided to stay up and watch TV and conked
out on the sofa without realising...

Unwittingly, he rested his head back against the pillow
as he considered the idea.

A minute after this strategic error, he was asleep.

xXx

Maggie sat up, blankets and wits scattered, mind still
packed with sleep. She stared wildly around the room in
the moonlight.

Someone was yelling. Nearby. Crying out. Desperate.

Maggie practically vaulted out of bed.

"Scully! Scullyyyyyyyyy!"

Fox.

The fear struck her that Dana had been abducted again,
but as she hurried for the door she knew it was much more
likely that Fox was having a nightmare.

Maggie barrelled out her bedroom doorway and almost
collided with someone. Dana. Her daughter had stumbled
out of her room and was staring up the hallway. Melissa
was already in the hall - her bedroom being directly
opposite Fox's.

Poor Fox had stopped yelling, but Maggie doubted that he
had simply yelled out then kept on sleeping. The young
man could not be that lucky.

Fortunately the moonlight was illuminating the hallway.
Melissa knocked on Fox's door, then opened it and went
in. Margaret turned to her younger daughter before Dana
could move up the hallway. "Honey, Melissa and I will
help Fox. You go back to bed - you're only in your
pajamas. One of us will come and tell you when he's
settled." Maggie had automatically snatched up her
bathrobe on the way out of her own room and was putting
it on as she spoke - she was in socks and it was carpet
underfoot, so she was dressed enough for now.

Dana nodded and was turning away as Maggie hurried
onwards. Margaret was relieved and too worried about Fox
to realise that her daughter had been too easy to
convince. Or to get a good look at her face.

Melissa entered Fox Mulder's room to find him standing by
his wrecked bed in the lamplight. He was hauling clothes
out of his overnight bag, the residual terror on his face
being overtaken with grim determination.

Mr Mulder was about to check out of Motel Scully.

He glanced up, for a second mistaking Melissa for her
sister. Realisation didn't alter anything though.
Ashamed, he dropped his look and concentrated on grabbing
a turtleneck sweater. The sweat pants could stay on. Just
his coat and boots to go after that.

Melissa didn't say anything. She simply stood and
watched. Like she was sentry for someone. Of course,
Mulder thought. As he was struggling to get his head
through the turtleneck, he heard the 'someone' enter.

"Fox, are you all right?" Maggie asked. Then instantly on
the heels of that, when she processed what he was doing,
came her emphatic: "Fox!"

"Mrs Scully, I can't stay here. You've seen - or rather
heard - why. I shouldn't have stayed at all...." He
started putting on his boots, vaguely aware of Melissa
disappearing back out into the hallway. "I'm so sorry."

"Fox, you are not leaving," Maggie said.

"I'll call a taxi. It won't take long." His wallet was in
a side pocket of the bag - he'd seen it earlier. Scully
must have put it there. So he had the means to leave.

Even if he didn't have the taxi fare, he would walk.

"Fox -"

"I've disrupted the whole household. Especially Dana."
Mulder was relieved that his partner hadn't come racing
into the room. Hopefully she had slept through his
performance - she might be on sleeping pills herself.
Sleeping pills wouldn't keep nightmares at bay though.
For him anyway. That was why he hadn't taken one tonight.

"How many times a night are you getting these
nightmares?" Maggie asked.

He didn't meet her eyes, but somehow she was still able
to pull the truth out of him. "It varies. Since Dana came
out of the hospital, not as much."

Then what on earth was it like before that, Maggie
wondered.

"And I'm sure it will keep getting better, but I can't
stay here in the meantime."

"Fox, of course you can. How about a compromise? If you
sleep downstairs on the sofa bed -"

"I'll be more trouble than I'm worth. I don't want to
take any focus or attention away from Dana's recovery, or
from you getting some rest yourself in your own house
after all you've been through and with caring for her."
Mulder had finished with his laces and had put his coat
on. He grabbed his overnight bag and stuffed a stray sock
back into it.

Maggie could see he was so upset and rattled about his
nightmare and about disturbing everyone that gentle
persuasion or logic were not going to bring him around.

"I'm sorry, Mrs Scully. Thank you for all your kindness.
I'll phone in the morning and explain to Scully." He was
not looking forward to making that call and facing his
partner's wrath, but it would be for everyone's good.
"Can I use your phone to call for a cab?" His cellular
hadn't been in the bag.

Like Melissa's reaction, Maggie kept staring at him, arms
folded. Mulder could not think of anything else to say.
The sooner he went downstairs and phoned for the taxi,
the better. He gave Maggie another apologetic look as he
hefted his bag. Then he took a deep breath and headed out
into the hallway.

The hallway was deserted, for which he was grateful -
half-fearing that Melissa had raced to fetch Scully.
Though as he approached the stairs he could see a strip
of light under Dana's bedroom door and cursed himself
even more strongly.

But even so and even though he knew that she was here and
safe, he still ached to see her and hold her. To reassure
himself that she was all right, and to tell her....

Mulder heard footsteps follow him downstairs. Maggie
seemed to have accepted 'defeat' and was probably going
to wait with him until the taxi came, then make sure the
front door was locked after he left. He picked up the
phone that was on the table near the front door and
glanced back, expecting to see Maggie behind or next to
him. She wasn't.

He looked around. Maggie had positioned herself at the
front door. In front of it. In a battle stance. It seemed
to him that she had 'inherited' Dana's knack of giving a
small body a large presence - it was like the door was
blocked by a ton of boulders.

Maggie knew her objective: to keep Fox here. She had
assessed the situation and his mental state and decided
on her strategy.

Pretend he was one of her sons and let rip.

"Fox William Mulder, you seem to be under the impression
that you can just waltz out of here when you feel like
it. Well, this is not a bed and breakfast or a day-care
facility or a motel. This is Alcatraz with chintz! You
are under my care. And until I am satisfied that you are
on the road to recovery, here you will stay. That is an
order. There is no room for negotiation."

She hated being so hardline with the young man,
especially after his nightmare, but she knew it was the
only thing that would work - for tonight at least, when
he was tired and upset enough to respond to the
discipline.

Fox stood in the hallway, phone in one hand, bag in the
other, staring at her. She could see on the periphery of
her vision that Dana and Melissa were watching from the
first floor landing.

Onward, Maggie. Press your advantage home. Pray to Bill
and God for backup. "If you are worried about disturbing
the household any more with your dreams, then set the
sofa bed up and sleep down here. Simple. And then if you
really live up to your first name and sneak out of this
house tonight, I will have no hesitation in instigating a
foxhunt. You will be tracked down."

There was a pause. Maggie meant every word that she had
said. And she could tell from the look in Fox's eyes that
he knew that.

Then Mulder put the phone receiver down. Without saying a
word, he turned and walked, completely subdued, into the
living room with his bag.

Maggie looked upstairs. Dana had a tight grip on the
railing - not so much for balance, Maggie knew, but as an
indication of how vested she had been in the outcome of
this confrontation. Even as she noticed her daughter's
hands, they started to relax their grip. Melissa gently
steered Dana, who did not resist. They disappeared back
towards Dana's room.

xXx

From the moment that Maggie took over Operation Stop Fox,
Melissa also had her hands full - with her traumatised
sister.

She had left Mulder's bedroom and gone to Dana's room,
finding Dana sitting on the edge of her bed, still with
nothing on over her nightgown, staring at the wall.
Melissa doubted that trying to coax her to get back under
the covers would work. She took a blanket and wrapped it
around Dana's shoulders, waiting for Dana to articulate
what she was processing.

Dana's head moved slightly, from side to side. Then tears
brimmed in her eyes and words flowed out of her mouth.
"So many nights.... We'd be on a case, in adjoining motel
rooms... and he'd have a nightmare and be screaming his
sister's name.... In so much pain.... And I'd wish and
pray that he wouldn't have to suffer those dreams
anymore, that they would stop. What sort of twisted
answer is this? I've replaced Samantha!"

Heartbreak and anger built in her. "It's not fair! Not
for him, not for me...."

Melissa had located her sister's slippers and put them in
front of her during this. Dana crammed her feet into them
while saying, "We should have left him down in the living
room in the first place, so he wouldn't think we'd hear
his yells... I knew he was worried about something. I
should have figured it out..."

Melissa said, "The nightmares couldn't be prevented. And
he never would have told you about them voluntarily. What
you know about, you can deal with. Or help each other
deal with." Melissa didn't know how much of her
explanation Dana was actually hearing, but she had to
try. "It's something he thought he could handle on his
own, but he can't."

Dana's fist hit the mattress. "It's not fair! He's been
through enough already in his life. Oh God, the way he
was calling my name...."

Melissa thought, Oh Dana... it may sound awful, but I
think this is what is going to bring the two of you
together.

Dana suddenly roused herself and leapt up. "He's going to
leave. He can't leave! He can't...." She raced out the
door, the blanket still clinging to her.

She cursed herself for giving in to her shock, for not
racing straight to his side....

She halted at the landing, seeing her mother and Mulder
facing off at the front door. She could not see Mulder's
expression but she could hear her mother's authorative
words.

And she knew that Mulder would not be going anywhere.

Still, it wasn't until her partner went into the living
room, outmaneuvered, that she could release her deathgrip
on the railing and breathe again.

For now.

xXx

Early hours of the morning:

Maggie blinked. Her eyes opened and she lay still,
listening. Yes, there was a noise. Noises.

Dana's bedroom door.

Straining her ears, Maggie could just make out her
daughter's progress along the hall. She did not hear the
bathroom door or the sound of slippers on tiles. Which
most likely meant that -

Yes, the faint creak of a stair.

Had Dana heard Fox yelling and gone down to check? Or
just needed something from the kitchen? Perhaps she had
her appetite back.

Though it was unlikely that she would have heard Fox if
he was having a nightmare, because the living room was on
the other side of the house, underneath Melissa's
bedroom.

A few minutes later, Dana came back upstairs, into her
room and all was quiet.

Juice or milk, Maggie surmised. And a peek in on Fox
while there, just to reassure herself.

At least the marine drill sergeant routine had worked. If
Fox had absconded, Dana would hardly come demurely
upstairs again.

xXx

Around 4.30 am Dana went for another nocturnal wander....

Maggie lay staring at the ceiling. Dana must be setting
the alarm so she can do regular checks, her mother
realised. And Fox must be asleep when she checks on him,
otherwise he'd have proof - literally personified - that
his being in the household was affecting Dana's recovery.
And at that, he would be out the front door like a
rocket.

She knew that Dana would quickly go back to sleep once
she returned to bed - providing all was well downstairs -
because exhaustion would kick in. Also, the ability to
nap at will thanks to medical training had been something
Dana had not lost. She had proven she still had that
talent in the last week. And she could sleep in if need
be.

Still...

Maggie sighed, got out of bed and crept downstairs. Thank
God for the illumination the full moon provided - it
prevented her or Dana from having to make a blaze of
lights to mark their paths, though Maggie could find her
way around here well enough in the dark if need be. This
house was one she and Bill had bought not long before he
died, long after all their children had flown the nest,
so Dana was not as intimately acquainted with the noisy
steps or spots and how to avoid them.

Maggie tiptoed to the living room doorway, half expecting
to bump into an exiting Dana at any second. But when she
looked into the living room, she saw that her daughter
was at Mulder's bedside.

She knew what drove her daughter to do this, and knew she
could not prevent her.

Dana was taking a risk though - if Mulder woke up and saw
her there....

A lamp was on - no, it was the television. On but with
the sound turned down. Maggie wondered if Fox or Dana had
put it on. She wouldn't put it past her daughter to have
decided it would make a good, non-embarrassing nightlight
for her partner.

From where Margaret stood, she could not see much of
Dana's face. Dana was standing there, watching Fox, whom
as far as she could tell was curled up on his side, as if
in a ball, asleep.

Had they missed a nightmare?

Dana turned a little and for a moment Maggie thought that
her daughter had seen her. But Dana's head had bowed
downward and now Maggie could see more of it in the
light.

Dana was praying. Her eyes had closed and her lips were
moving soundlessly.

Maggie quietly went back upstairs. She was sitting on her
bed, making her own prayer, when she heard Dana
returning. Margaret got up - making sure to make some
noise so that Dana would not get startled when she stuck
her head out the doorway.

"Is Fox all right?"

"I think he might have had another nightmare. One we
didn't hear," Dana replied.

Maggie opened her mouth to say 'Well, he managed to go
back to sleep - that's something' but she couldn't say
that without Dana finding out she had come downstairs.
"Did he tell you?"

"No. He's asleep. It's just the way he's curled up - sort
of hunched."

Maggie knew that wasn't the only thing on her daughter's
mind. "Dana, I know you're worried, but he's not going to
go anywhere. He wouldn't dare."

That brought a smile. "I know, Mom. I think he'll even
come and ask you for permission to go to the bathroom
from now on."

Dana knew her mother had a point. Making Mulder sleep in
the living room had been a winning strategy to keep him
in the house, but it meant that he was now too far away
for her liking. He needed someone nearby.

She on the other hand didn't need someone nearby. She
just needed him.

Maggie had hoped that 'catching' Dana in action would
prevent her daughter from doing another check. Or that
the agreed logic that he 'wouldn't dare' go anywhere
would reassure her pragmatic daughter, to the same
effect.

But in this case, she had her doubts that logic was on
her daughter's mind.

Margaret came to a decision. No more subtlety. "Dana,
I'll take the next shift."

"Huh?"

"Don't set your alarm clock. I'm going to set mine for
another two hours. I'll check on him."

Dana fumbled for words. Ohmigod, Mom knows! were the
first words to spring to mind.

"Honey, in two more hours it will be pretty much the time
I usually get up anyway. So it won't be any trouble." In
the last week she had been sleeping in, especially since
Dana was.

Dana blushed. Busted, big time. She always used a clock
radio as her alarm - tonight she had the volume set soft
enough so as not to wake anyone else when it went off,
but loud enough to do the job.
The thought occurred to her that her mother was going
about this in a commendable way.

She's not treating me like a child or telling me what to
do - she's giving me the choice, despite how worried she
must be about me.

"Thanks, Mom. I know you'll take good care of him.
Before.... when he was yelling.... He just sounded
so...."

"I know, Dana, I know. I heard it." I felt it, Maggie
thought, even though I wasn't the one he was crying out
for.

"If you would check on him, that would be great." She
hugged her mother and they both headed to bed.

Maggie managed a tired smile as she set her own alarm.
Yes, it had been a hectic day and night. But Dana was
back and under this roof and Fox was safely in the fold.

At least the night was nearly over.

The morning would bring its own challenges though. Fox's
post-nightmare middle-of-the-night vulnerability would be
gone. He would not be so malleable. Now came the task of
convincing him to stay longer. So hopefully the willpower
of three Scully women could keep him here for today and
the next night at the least.


END PART FOUR OF ELEVEN

(5/11)

xXx

Sunday morning:

Mulder rolled over onto his front. Warm. His mind
drifted, laden with sleep, gently gravitating between
wakefulness and dozing.

Shouldn't be lying here, relaxing.
Why?
Something...
Something dark. Awful. Emptiness.
Scully gone. Missing. Abducted.

His eyes snapped open and he pushed himself upright with
a gasp. Why was he resting? He should be looking....

No, wait. She's back. Returned.
In a coma. Dying.
My fault. They - humans or aliens - took her because of
me.
Now my signature on the paper - they're pulling the plug.
And no one will listen to me.
Though why should they?

Then full wakefulness kicked in. Mulder's brain hit him
with everything else, including where he was and the fact
that Dana was in the same house, and he took a huge
shuddering breath and collapsed back onto the pillow.

That was one enormous grouping of fear and panic and so
much else that could be popped like a bubble. The
associated guilt over all those events was still in
residence though and not likely to be going anywhere. In
a way, he could handle that. It kind of slotted like a
Lego block onto the big tangle of feelings he had about
Sam and her disappearance.

Part and parcel of being Fox William Mulder.

Sam's disappearance had cut a piece from his heart. But
Scully.... Her abduction, then lying in that hospital
bed, dying. No piece this time. The whole lot.

He had only comprehended that he loved her after she was
taken away....

Mulder hauled himself out of his thoughts. The action
nearly required a crane.

He thought back to the night's events. He couldn't help
feeling pissed off that a tiny woman was able to order
him around, as noble as her intentions were. He wanted
out of the house more than ever now, as a matter of
principle. Plus his original reasons for leaving still
stood.

Well, he had stayed overnight. Maggie would probably
insist on getting at least one more decent meal into him,
and then he would go.

xXx

Maggie and Melissa had both risen early in the morning.
They spent time in the sunroom, enjoying the light and
each other's company, catching up on missed time. And
rebuilding some bridges.

When Mulder and Dana got up, no one mentioned the events
of the night. But both FBI agents were hesitant around
each other.

Dana was still trying to comprehend that she now held the
'starring role' in Mulder's nightmares.

She wanted to reach out and embrace him and never let him
go. But at the same time....

Time. What a difference it made. Last night, before
Mulder's nightmare, she had promised herself that the new
day would bring new communication between them. They
would really talk. She planned to turn her lost time into
something positive and learn from it. Not to waste a day.
And not to let Mulder spend the rest of his life
torturing himself over it.

She still wanted today to be the day.

But how to climb over this newest obstacle? Or perhaps
not so new, but one now larger and stronger than ever
before.

Even if she did manage to get past her fears and begin a
talk about issues that really needed to be discussed, she
doubted Mulder would be as willing.

Maggie serving up breakfast broke Dana out of her
thoughts - partway at least.

Her partner had just ducked out of the room to dial into
his answering machine to check for messages, but he would
be back at any moment. So Dana quickly said to her
mother, "Give Mulder some more on his plate. I don't
think he's eating enough."

Maggie did as asked, then put more on Dana's plate and
said, "The best way to get him to eat is to set an
example for him." That would be the key - they both had a
lot of recovering to do and could help each other do it.
Having Fox to focus on would keep Dana from becoming
depressed.

They can 'compete' with each other, Maggie thought.

"Are you going to go to Mass, Mom?" Dana asked when they
were all at the table.

Mulder blinked. He had forgotten that today was a Sunday.

"Yes. Then I'll do the grocery shopping and we'll have
lunch," Maggie said. As they ate, she saw that Fox's
hands were no longer shaking.

The phone rang just when breakfast was winding up. The
caller was Dana's friend Ellen, so Dana went into the
living room with the cordless phone to continue the
conversation.

Mulder helped Maggie and Melissa gather up dishes. He
quietly took a deep breath. He was about to state his
intentions and it felt like he was about to step out,
deaf and blind, onto a road: no way to tell if he was
about to get run over or safely across. "Maggie, after
lunch, I'll go home."

Dana's mother halted in the act of putting some cutlery
on the sink. "Fox..." Her voice was understanding, but
sad. "I told you last night what my mandate was about
leaving this house. I still hold to that. Even just one
more day."

"I appreciate your concern and all the help, but I really
do need to go back home. You saw the mess I have to clean
up, for starters."

"That mess isn't going to go anywhere for another day or
two. It would probably be best if you didn't live there
until it was cleaned up anyway. And there are no fish in
the tank to feed."

"Well, apart from the mess, I have to collect the papers
and so on."

"You could make an arrangement with your landlord over
the phone, or go do those tasks, then come back here."

"Maggie -"

"Well, if you want to go, you're a grown man. I can't
stop you. But I'd like to see how you're going to
convince Dana to let you out the front door." Even with
this morning's post-nightmare discomfort, Maggie was sure
her daughter would object to him leaving.

Mulder knew that too. What was he going to say to Scully?

"Mom," Melissa said, "if you want to make the next Mass,
you're going to be late if you don't leave now."

Maggie looked at the clock. She had really been looking
forward to going to Mass - and really needed to. However
she did not want to leave with this issue hanging over
their heads. She could miss this one and wait until the
next one today...

But Fox had said that he wouldn't leave until after
lunch. So hopefully he could be convinced otherwise
before then. "Fox, how about you talk it over with Dana
while I'm gone? If you can reassure her, then that's the
main thing and you'll go with my blessing."

"No foxhunt?" he asked with a touch of a smile.

"No foxhunt," she promised. "We'll talk this afternoon?"

"Sure."

xXx

Mulder had insisted on washing the breakfast dishes.
Melissa was drying them.

Dana had just gone upstairs to have a bath - feeling safe
in the knowledge, no doubt, that Melissa would 'keep an
eye' on her partner, though no one had mentioned Mulder's
plans to Dana yet. Maggie had left for church while she
was still on the phone, and Melissa kept silent on the
subject.

Mulder was busy trying to work out the best way of
informing Dana - a way that let him out of the house
alive and with dignity intact. Splitting an atom would be
easier.

He almost started laughing. Here he was, thirty-three
years old, a grown man, and yet three women - non-
relatives at that - were trying to decide what was best
for him and not making it at all easy when he disagreed.
He did appreciate their concern and care very much. But
was his presence in Maggie's house what was best for
*them*?

Mulder pushed that to one side for now. Then he found
himself thinking about Samantha.

"Mulder? Mulder!"

"Mmm?" He looked at Melissa absently.

She smiled at him. "If you wash that plate any more,
you'll wear a hole through it."

"Oh. Here." He handed it to her, embarrassed.

"Thinking about anything in particular?"

"I just.... My sister," Mulder said quietly as he set to
work on the next plate.

"Dana said she was taken when you were twelve."

"Yes." He wondered whether 'taken' was what Scully had
actually said or whether it was Melissa's term. He said,
"I was just thinking - if Sam wasn't taken all those
years ago, what would she be like today? Her personality.
I just can't help imagining how things would be now.
Whether my parents would still be together. Happy...."
But would he have met Scully anywhere along the way?
"Though I guess I'm picturing some perfect 'Leave It To
Beaver' situation."

"I can guarantee that's fairly rare," Melissa said with
an understanding smile. "I fell out with my parents over
my lifestyle. It was mainly with Dad, the disapproval,
but Mom backed him up. I guess she had to."

Mulder remembered when he and Maggie had found Melissa at
Scully's bedside in the hospital. It was the first time
he had met Scully's sister, and also the first time that
Mrs Scully had apparently seen her elder daughter for a
while. He recalled that Maggie was surprised and a little
cool. They did not hug in greeting.

Melissa said, "I loved my father but we just couldn't
communicate properly. He was so black and white about
everything."

"I have a feeling that he wasn't thrilled about your
career choice?"

Melissa nodded. "Dad saw the whole massage career as
absolute nonsense. He was so proud of Dana going to
medical school."

"And then she went into the FBI."

"He wondered where he went wrong with both of us. The
boys had been good little 'sailors', going into the
Navy." She shrugged and gave a forced smile. "Oh well,
water under the bridge or into the ocean. Anyway, you and
I should have a good talk sometime about any psychics or
psychic activity that you've encountered. I'd be very
interested."

"Sure." He tried to work out how to ask about her own
talents in that area, without making it sound like a chat-
up line. He certainly didn't intend it to be. Melissa was
great, but...

She wasn't her sister.

Before he could say anything, Melissa said, "I can sense
things sometimes about people. Most often when I'm in the
same room as that person, but there are exceptions." She
hesitated. "When Dana was missing I couldn't get a sense
of where she was or if she was alive. Nothing like that.
I may have been too far away, but I've seen spirit
transcend distance and much more so many times that I
hoped it would be the case between Dana and me as well."

"Your mother said she had a dream about Dana being taken
away," Mulder said quietly. "Then it happened."

"Mom's sixth sense surfaces every so often. The boys
don't have it - they're very much their father's sons -
and until recently I didn't think that Dana did either."
Melissa had been overseas travelling for most of the time
that Mulder and Dana were partners. She thought that
might be a reason why she had not picked up on their bond
earlier.

Before Mulder could ask about her comment, Melissa bit
her lip and continued, "When it came time to decide about
Dana's life support, I honestly thought that she was
going to die. I could sense it. What a thing to be wrong
about...." Her voice shook.

"Instincts and feelings are all that we have to go by,"
he told her gently.

"You believed that she would live."

"I hoped. I do understand your and Maggie's points of
view though. The choice you made - Dana's choice. And I'm
sorry for the things I said to you at the time. Over that
whole time." Mulder swallowed. "That night when the
doctor said that Scully was going to die, you left the
hospital to come and tell me, despite the fact that you
could have missed being there if the time came." He had
been waiting for Dana's kidnappers. Waiting to dispense
justice to them - the only thing he thought he could do.
When Melissa came bearing her grim news, expecting him to
return to the hospital, he had refused. And promptly
received a tirade about his behaviour and about what
really mattered. "Thanks for making me make the right
choice."

Melissa managed a smile. "You would have come regardless.
Eventually."

They had automatically continued with doing the dishes
while having their conversation. There was a pause. Then
Melissa put the last plate away and looked out the
window. A cold, but clear day. "I'm going to go into the
sunroom and do some meditation." She exited.

The sunroom was at the back of the house. Dana was
upstairs. Mulder knew that when Dana indulged in a bath,
she spent a long time in the bathroom. If she wanted to
be quick, she had a shower instead.

He realised that no one would hear him phone for a taxi
or leave - provided they stayed where they were until the
coast was clear and providing the cab showed up quickly.

Mulder wondered how morally ethical it was to sneak out
of the house while Maggie was gone and while her
daughters were otherwise occupied. But he had to take the
opportunity. The Scully women deserved to have their
lives back, without him muddying the waters.

He had told Maggie they would talk this afternoon and so
they would - across a phoneline. And he hadn't actually
*promised* that he would stay.

He called for a cab before he changed his mind - giving
the cab company specific instructions for the driver to
park outside the next door neighbours' instead of
directly out front. The dispatcher was sure they could
get a cab to him quickly.

Mulder's bag was still downstairs and his coat was on the
rack, so he collected them. His wallet was in his pocket.

So far so good. He wrote a quick but heartfelt note of
explanation and thanks, and propped it on the hall table.

xXx

Dana loved bubblebaths. They were so warm and soothing
and relaxing and a thing of beauty and a joy forever.

They *never* failed to make her feel better.

Except for today. She felt on edge.

Which was really annoying, because after last night and
after not being able to relax around Mulder at breakfast,
she really, really needed the magic to work.

That was probably why it wasn't working. This problem was
a doozy.

But something....

Something was wrong. She just couldn't put her finger on
it.

Is this what it's like for Melissa, she found herself
wondering, then rolled her eyes at herself.

Dana decided that once she had finished her bath and got
dressed, she would go downstairs and talk to Mulder about
what had happened. No shying away from it.

Enough soaking for now. She went to pick up the soap, but
instead found herself getting up, out of the tub. Her
hands hastily grabbed a towel and skimmed most of the
foam off her body, then dumped the towel on the floor and
picked up her bathrobe. Dana put it on. What on earth am
I doing? I'm still wet! she thought as she opened the
bathroom door and stepped out.

xXx

For once Mulder's cab-karma was good. It had arrived in
good time. Mulder could just see the hood of it. He went
quietly into the front hallway and put his hand out,
towards the doorknob.

"Don't."

Mulder jumped so high he nearly left an indentation on
the ceiling. He whirled around. Scully was standing at
the top of the stairs in her bathrobe, hair pinned up,
gazing at him.

"Scully -"

"Don't."

Then Mulder was in her embrace on the landing, with no
recollection of the journey up the stairs. Not that he
cared. He was too busy hugging back, his face pressed
against her hair.

"Promise me," Dana whispered into his coat. Into his
soul.

He nodded, so overwhelmed with emotion that he could
barely speak. "I promise...."

Melissa, who had been listening and watching, stepped out
into the downstairs hallway and looked up at the
oblivious pair. Only a few words had been spoken, but
there had been as much feeling and meaning in them as the
entire balcony scene from 'Romeo and Juliet'.

Dana's first 'Don't' had been 'Don't leave'. The second
had been the knockout blow though. With a slight change
of inflection and emphasis, the same single word had
become: 'Don't leave *me*'. He hadn't. He couldn't. And
now he had vowed not to and a barrier between them was
gone.

One barrier anyway, but it was a big one.

Melissa went out the front door, having to step around
Mulder's discarded overnight bag first, to deal with the
cab.

Mulder and Dana were busy giving each other the embrace
that they had both been wanting and needing since their
reunion at her hospital bedside.

At the time they had briefly held hands and their eyes
said so much, but with Dana's family there and the weight
of everything that had happened, the partners kept at a
distance. When Mulder gave back her necklace and hastily
left the room, Dana had wanted him to stay longer. But he
couldn't. They were in emotional overload.

Now she held him on the landing, and he felt thin.... It
was like a weight transference had taken place between
them.

If only I could take away his guilt that easily, she
thought.

Perhaps I can. Today is the day, after all, when we're
going to have that talk.

But she pushed all thought of weight and talk aside and
just concentrated on how it felt to hold him and be held.

The sound of the front door closing jolted them.

Mulder looked down at Melissa. "The cab -"

"Has been shooed." She picked the note up off the hall
table and the bag up off the floor.

"Thank you." Then Mulder turned and looked at Dana.
"Scully - you're wet!"

"You didn't give me time to towel off properly," she said
wryly.

"Go do it then. Or finish your bath. Before you catch a
chill."

"Your maternal side is coming out. Now, if I go back in
there, will you still be around when I come out?"

"I promised." He had bound himself to her with those
words; he had felt it. A vow so strong.... This one he
would not be able to break, or try to. "And you seemed to
know what I was going to do anyway. How did you manage
that?"

"Women's intuition," she replied, then hastily returned
to the bathroom.


END PART FIVE OF ELEVEN

(6/11)

xXx

While adding more hot water to the bath, Dana tried to
logically justify her actions, and couldn't. However, the
end result was what mattered to her.

But despite having 'headed Mulder off at the pass', she
still felt strange when she slipped back into the water.
A different kind of strange.

Something to do with the water. But it was at just the
temperature she liked...

No, it should be colder. No bubbles. Thicker.

Thicker?

What on earth did that mean?

Was it a memory? A memory from her abduction?

Before she could try to catch it or shove it away, it was
gone.

She took several deep breaths and focused on finishing
her bath as quickly as possible.

xXx

Maggie started taking groceries out of the back of the
car. Melissa appeared, coming and picking up some bags.

"How is everything on the home front?" Maggie asked.

Melissa smiled. "There's no need to have that talk with
Mulder this afternoon. Well, you can, but he's not going
anywhere."

"Dana convinced him? They talked?"

"Not in so many words." In fact, words had been almost
incidental. "But yes."

Dana and Mulder appeared, also snagging bags. Maggie
couldn't quite put her finger on it, but Melissa was
right - something good had happened between the two. Once
all the groceries were in the kitchen, unpacking began.

"Where does this go?" Mulder asked, holding up a can of
soup.

Maggie said, "This is a naval house. It doesn't 'go', it
is 'stowed away'."

He smiled. "Of course."

Dana showed him the appropriate spot in the pantry.
"After lunch, I'm going to go around the block a few
times, for some air. Interested, Mulder?"

"Sure. Providing the weather holds."

Then a nap. If she had one, Dana reasoned to herself,
Mulder would be more likely to lie down too.

Too bad it couldn't be together....

Dana pulled her focus back to the groceries. Then she
noted some of the things she was pulling out of the
carrier bags. "Mom, are you going to make a chocolate
cake?"

"Yes. Leave those out on the counter, please, dear. I
think I'll make a start on it after lunch. Do you like
chocolate cake, Fox?"

"Like? I consider it oxygen."

Maggie had thought so.

Dana put the cake mix down on the counter, feeling like
she had forgotten something.

Yeah - three months! she thought ironically.

But as soon as conversation had turned to cakes, it was
like something was tugging at her brain. Oh God, I'm not
going to have a flashback, am I? She felt panicked.

Then a memory dropped into place and she was relieved. It
wasn't to do with her abduction. It was to do with food.
The last time she herself had actually made a chocolate
cake, instead of buying one or having some of her
mother's, was for Mulder's birthday.

Last year.

Suddenly relief was the last thing she felt.

"Dana!" Maggie cried out, seeing her daughter go pale.

"Scully?"

Dana turned, her hand to her mouth. Maggie was afraid
that Dana was about to be sick or faint - and Fox had
bolted to her side, ready to catch her if she did
collapse. But she just stared up at him.

"Mulder, your birthday.... I missed your birthday...."
Dana said, her voice choked.

"Hey... It's okay," he said earnestly. His hands, which
had been hovering at her waist to steady her if needed,
now moved to either side of her face. "You couldn't help
it. And I got what I wished for. You back, safe. That's
all that matters."

She tried to joke, seeing that she was upsetting him.
"Talk about a late present."

"Worth the wait."

Wanting to stop everyone's worry about her, Dana managed
to give him a smile then returned to putting the
groceries away.

He probably hadn't even realised it was his birthday when
the date arrived, she thought. Even if he had, he
probably wouldn't have cared.

Mulder had given her a 'Superstars of the Superbowl'
video and her cross.

And, she was sure, the will and strength to come out of
the coma.

What had she given him? More agony. More guilt.

Maggie's voice broke through her introspection. "Why
don't we have a celebration tonight? For Fox's birthday
and Dana's recovery and just for everything in general."

"Life, the universe and everything," Melissa said.

The more Margaret thought about the idea, the more she
liked it. They needed some fun. "I'll put some candles on
the cake. We can dress up too."

"In what?" came from Dana, though she was still somewhat
distracted.

"You girls could go shopping. Or we might be able to find
some 'fashion disasters' from the past stowed away
upstairs. Or we just worry about knockout hair, make up
and jewelry."

"Do I have to worry about that?" Mulder asked with a
quirk of his lips.

"Not the last three. But I've got an idea for you,
Fox.... I'll explain later." Maggie saw that he looked
vaguely alarmed and uncomfortable at all the fuss. Sure
enough, Fox approached her after Melissa and Dana had
gone upstairs to have a look in some wardrobes and
chests.

"Maggie, I.... You really don't have to go to all that
trouble."

"It's not just for you, Fox. It's also a celebration that
Dana is back and well. I think she needs something like
this, don't you? It will do her good."

That trapped him neatly. "Sure."

xXx

Dana wasn't really interested in going through old
clothes. But she had needed to talk to Melissa on her
own. "Missy, could you do me a favour?"

"Sure. Name it."

"After lunch could you go pick up some things from my
apartment? There's something in particular that I really
want..."

xXx

At lunchtime, Maggie was pleased to note that both Mulder
and Dana were regaining their appetites. It probably
helped that they were so busy talking they most likely
didn't notice how much they were consuming, so were not
getting self-conscious about it.

Though Mulder was aware that he was getting more of his
sense of taste back.

Afterwards, Dana said, "Ready for that walk, Mulder?"

The sun was out and the wind was not strong, but Dana
eyed her partner, judging whether he was wearing warm
enough clothing.

They headed off along the pavement, occasionally darting
little looks at each other.

Mulder wondered if their silence was comfortable or
strained. He couldn't tell. There was something he wanted
to ask, but wondered if he should wait. After a minute,
he decided to ease into it. "Your mother is great,
Scully."

"She is indeed. Mom likes you."

Can't imagine why, he thought, but kept that to himself.

"I think Melissa likes you too," Dana continued. "She has
a lot of similar beliefs. You'd have a lot to talk
about." Why on earth am I saying that?

Mulder gave her a sidelong look, then said, "In my
experience, discussions and debates about the paranormal
tend to be longer and more stimulating when one of the
parties has an opposing view."

Dana felt a rush of relief and an embarrassed blush.

"How long do you think you'll stay here?" Mulder gestured
behind them, in the direction of Maggie's house.

Up until yesterday, her answer would have been 'Until I
feel I'm ready'. That had changed. Now it was 'Until I
feel *you're* ready'. But of course she couldn't tell him
that. "I'm not sure."

"You didn't go with Melissa back to your place. Not that
I'm saying you should have...." Mulder trailed off,
worried that his words were coming out wrong and that
Scully would become too uncomfortable and think that he
perceived her as weak or broken.

She replied, "It's okay. I'll go back there in the next
few days for half an hour or so and see. We could drop in
there on the way to your place."

"My place?"

"To start restoring the wreckage."

"Oh."

Dana hesitated, then said, "Mulder, what happened with
your apartment?"

He fumbled for an answer, wondering if she was deflecting
him about her own apartment.

"What happened?" she repeated gently.

"Not here," he said quietly. "We might be overheard. I'll
tell you later." If she raised the matter again, that
was. And only an edited version of events, which
hopefully would satisfy her enough to stop digging.

Passing a house, they saw it had a 'For Sale' sign in the
front yard. Dana slowed down and examined the property
and home thoughtfully.

Mulder asked, "Thinking of moving?"

"Yes. I haven't decided yet. I could go back to my
apartment. I did after Tooms' little visit. But...."

"No one would think any less of you if you moved out,
Scully."

"I know. And I think it is time for a change. Staying in
Georgetown would be great, since it's so close to work,
but there is the expense to consider."

 "Would you get another apartment, a townhouse, or a
house?" Mulder asked.

"Apartment, definitely - I can't afford a house, as much
as I would love one. And with the way we're always haring
off on another case in some obscure location, I wouldn't
have the time to spend on keeping up a yard or dealing
with all the other problems that are currently being
handled by my landlord."

"True. Though I have wondered how you could afford to
live in Georgetown on a government salary." It wasn't a
topic he had brought up in the past. She had never really
mentioned her finances and he hadn't wanted to pry. But
with a place like hers the tenant would have to have a
roommate to make the monthly rent, Mulder thought. And
Maggie had a lovely old detached house, which definitely
indicated old money. The question was out of Mulder's
mouth now before he could stop it.

"Do you remember me mentioning my Great Aunt Jessie?"
Dana asked him.

"Yes. You went to her funeral not long into our
partnership."

"The apartment in Georgetown is where she lived. I was in
a garden apartment near Quantico. When I applied for
field agent status and ended up assigned to the X-Files,
it was also the same time that she was about to go into
an assisted living facility. Her health was failing -
though in the end her death came quicker than we all
thought. A sudden stroke. She knew I loved her apartment
and she also knew what a convenient location it was in.
So she spoke to the landlord, then announced to me that
he was willing to cut the rent for twelve months because
they had been friends for years and because it would be
nice to have a law enforcement presence in the building.
So that enabled me to afford it. Then when Dad died he
left us kids each some of his life insurance policy.
Melissa used hers to continue her travels. I invested
mine, and use it for my rent."

"But when the X-Files were closed and you were assigned
back to Quantico, you still stayed in Georgetown. Despite
the commute." Mulder considered the timeframe. The X-
Files had been closed in May, over a year after he and
Scully had started working together, so she would no
longer be getting the rent cut. But there was her
father's money....

"Getting *anywhere* in D.C. is quite a commute, as you
well know! I didn't see the point in moving. I had faith
that the X-Files would be reopened. Plus with an
apartment that nice at a rent I could afford, there was
no way I was going to give it up if there was a chance
I'd be working in D.C. again any time soon. It is too
hard to find places in Georgetown or any decent area in
D.C." She smiled, then sobered. "Dad's insurance money is
not going to last forever. I have to make a decision soon
about what to do - whether to move somewhere else or
continue to live really carefully and keep that
apartment."

Dana silently gave thanks that her medical costs were
being absorbed by Worker's Compensation, seeing as she
had been kidnapped due to her job as a federal agent. She
continued, "Mom taught me well about budgeting. She
raised four kids on Navy pay, after all. I remember
thinking back when you were on that flukeman case that I
had plenty of time to start looking around if I did
decide to move elsewhere."

Mulder dropped his gaze to the pavement and Dana
regretted her last comment. She gave his arm a gentle
squeeze and opened her mouth to tell him something she
had been wanting to for days, but he quickly asked a
question about Maggie's home and how long she had lived
there. Dana glanced around again to make sure no one was
within hearing distance, then said, "Aunt Jessie was
wealthy and she had no other family. She left the bulk to
my mother. That's when Mom and Dad bought the house that
Mom's still in. If any of us kids had still been
studying, my parents might have helped us out there, but
they expected us to all work for our living. No
handouts."

Mulder now had the answer to how Maggie had been able to
afford to keep up the apartment lease while his partner
was missing.

"I was pretty lucky to have my trust fund," he remarked.
Early on in their partnership, Scully had made a comment
about the contradiction between his tailored suits and
his shoebox of an apartment, so he had explained about
the trust fund his grandparents set up for him years ago.
And how the apartment was so conveniently located that he
hadn't bothered finding somewhere else. It performed its
function, and with his life and quest he had no need for
a house and all its required maintenance. He remembered
that Scully's face had a sad look at that comment, at him
putting his life on hold.

"So, you're going to look for an apartment, but you'd
like a house somewhere along the line?" Mulder pressed as
they kept walking.

"Who wouldn't? Present company excepted, of course."

He shrugged. "If you could afford that one back there,
would you buy it?"

"No."

"It's close to your mother."

Dana laughed. "That's a little too close! As much as I
love her. No, if and when I buy a house, that's not the
type I had in mind."

They went around the block while discussing the type of
house she did like, then they decided to do another lap
or two.

"Mulder?"

"Yeah?"

She stopped walking and faced him, making another attempt
at saying her piece. "I know that a talk about all that's
happened will have to wait until another time, but there
is one thing that can't wait. I need you to know that
what happened to me isn't your fault. That I don't blame
you. And most importantly, I need you to believe and
accept that."

He dropped his eyes from hers and swallowed. Then he
nodded and resumed walking.

Dana fell into step beside him. She knew that despite
Mulder's nod he wouldn't accept absolution readily. But
she was determined to work on him. This was a start.

A car horn sounded. Dana turned. Her first thought was
that it was Melissa returning, but surely this was too
soon.

Mulder was distracted and didn't really register the
horn. But when a car pulled up beside them he was
startled and felt sudden panic, thinking these were the
shadow people, about to grab Scully or kill them both....

Skinner was in the driver's seat. "Hello, Agents. Do you
want a lift?"

"I'm surprised to see you here, sir," Dana said.

"I was in the area and decided to drop in before I went
back to the office. It's good to see you both out and
about."

Dana and Mulder got in the car and Skinner drove the
short distance to Maggie's house. Inside, the A.D. was
greeted by Mrs Scully. She took him into the kitchen
while Mulder disappeared upstairs briefly to the bathroom
and Dana answered a call from Melissa, who was trying to
locate some of the things Dana had wanted.

Skinner sat at the kitchen table. "I didn't see Mulder's
car out the front. Did he get a cab over?"

"No," Maggie replied. "After Dana spoke to you yesterday,
we brought Fox back here with us. He's staying here until
his apartment has been fixed. And until he's got some
more meat on his bones."

Skinner nodded in full understanding. That phone call
yesterday was still fresh in his mind. What Scully had
*not* said had told him plenty. And Mulder was still pale
and thin.

Now that Dana was back and well on the road to recovery,
Mulder should quickly follow suit.

Should.

There was that percentage of uncertainty though, Skinner
mused. Did Mulder now consider investigating X-Files too
much of a risk? Had 'They' found his ultimate weakness
and given him so much of a jolt that he would give up?

And would Scully let him?

The agents and Maggie sat down with him at the table for
an afternoon snack. Maggie served coffee and cookies.

Skinner asked, "Is tomorrow at 2.00 pm still fine for our
meeting, Agent Scully?"

"Yes, sir," she said firmly. "I'm looking forward to
returning to the X-Files division as soon as I can be
recertified. Mulder and I have work to do."

Skinner subtly checked out the reactions of her mother
and partner to this, wondering if it was old news to them
or not.

Maggie's eyes said: 'It's not what I really wanted to
hear but it was what I expected to hear. It's her
decision and her life.'

Mulder looked uncomfortable, then his face became
expressionless, as if realising what Skinner was up to.

"Mulder, we have to make a time to meet and talk too,"
his boss said.

The younger man nodded, not with much enthusiasm though.

Melissa returned as Skinner was about to leave, and he
and Mulder ended up walking out to his car alone, both
lost in their own thoughts.

Skinner hesitated, his hand on the car door handle.
"Mulder... when Scully was still in the coma and you were
feeling responsible.... When you asked...."

Mulder realised what his boss was referring to. His
memory flashed back to himself asking, 'What if I knew
the potential consequences, but I never told her?'

And Skinner's reply: 'Then you're as much to blame for
her condition as 'Cancerman'.'

Now Skinner was standing beside his car, feeling guilty.
"I should have been more understanding." Considering
Mulder's frame of mind at the time.... Then Mulder's
resignation arrived on his desk. He was lucky that was
all. It could have been much worse.

Mulder shrugged. He couldn't think of how to reply to
that, but tried. "You wouldn't accept my resignation. You
told me why."

"I should have told you when you first started talking
about blame." Then the A.D. said, "So, I gather you
haven't told Scully about handing in your resignation."

"No."

"Well, I rejected it, as I told you in the basement when
you were packing. And as I told you when Scully was still
in the hospital." The latter was when he had ordered
Mulder to take time off. The younger agent had still been
debating with himself about whether or not to leave the
Bureau, especially once Scully was out of her coma.
Mulder had baulked at taking two weeks - if he was going
to come back, he didn't want that much time to have
passed. But Skinner eventually convinced him that after
the roller coaster ride of the last three months, he
needed that much time to regroup and consider, regardless
of what he ended up deciding. And left unmentioned was
recovery time, which his boss could see was definitely
required.

Now, out by his car, Skinner pressed on, "Or are you
thinking of handing me another resignation? Things have
changed," the A.D. reminded his agent. "She's back. She's
all right. And she wants to bring whoever did this to
justice."

Mulder looked stricken, but resolute. "In your meeting...
can you ask her if she'd consider a transfer? I'm staying
and I'll find the ones responsible. She's paid enough of
a price."

Skinner was glad to hear that Mulder was not going to
quit, but.... "I don't think she's going to agree to a
transfer."

"At least ask her," the younger man insisted with a
fierce determination.

Skinner was reluctant but also wanting to keep the peace.
"I will."


END PART SIX OF ELEVEN