From: Ten <kristena@ocean.com.au>
Date: Wed, 12 Mar 2003 10:07:50 +1100
Subject: "Learning to Breathe" (7/11) by Ten (High R)
Source: xff


TITLE: "Learning to Breathe" (7/11)
BY: Ten
E-MAIL ADDRESS: kristena@ocean.com.au

xXx

Mulder phoned the Gunmen to catch up with them and find
out if they had any information for him. They didn't and
they were surprised to find out where he was calling
from.

Then a thought occurred to Mulder. "Langly, I need a
favour."

Maggie made the cake and started preparing for the
evening meal and celebration. While she was doing this,
Dana went to rest in her room and Mulder agreed to go
upstairs and nap in the spare room. He wanted Maggie and
Melissa to be able to use the living room if they wanted
to and Maggie had been worried that the noise in the
kitchen might keep waking him up. He crossed his fingers
that the nightmares would hold off.

When Dana got up she found Mulder was still asleep, so
she returned to her room to wrap his present and then go
through the clothes that she had asked Melissa to fetch
from her apartment. Dressy clothes, so that she could
pick something to wear that night. Her mother had assured
her that she had Fox 'covered' in regard to clothes for
dinner. Maggie was going to get him to try some things on
when he awakened.

xXx

Mulder woke up with a feeling of unease.

Perhaps I had another nightmare....

He couldn't remember it, but perhaps his subconscious was
telling him that he had yelled out or something. Or
perhaps Skinner's visit and Dana's firm intentions about
returning to work were jangling on his nerves.

He got up and went downstairs to the kitchen for a drink.
While he was there, Maggie appeared from the direction of
the sunroom, to look at the cake in the oven. As she
checked the oven settings, he opened his mouth to speak,
then closed it.

Maggie must have sensed something, because she turned to
him and asked if he was all right.

"Why are you being so kind to me? How can you stand
having me around?" he blurted out.

"Oh Fox... Dana being abducted was not your fault. And
you did everything you could to look for her." Maggie
came over to him.

"But I didn't find her."

"Not physically, perhaps. Certainly not through lack of
trying. But you did bring her back. I'm sure of that."

Mulder shook his head.

Maggie's face was intense. "You're the one who never gave
up on her, Fox. When she was missing, I was so sure she
wasn't coming back that I went and ordered her
headstone!" She dropped her voice to a whisper on the
last sentence, even though she was fairly sure that Dana
was upstairs, out of earshot. She had not told her
daughter about the headstone.

Maggie continued, "When she was in the coma and the
doctors said the outcome was hopeless, I let them take
her off life support and I waited for her to die. You
didn't believe it was the right thing to do. And you were
right." She knew he was a sensitive man and was feeling
for her. "It is really me that has guilt to live with,
not you," she said. Tears were now forming in her eyes.
"And I'm her mother...."

Mulder swallowed. It was like when Scully had told him on
their walk that she didn't blame him. He wanted to
believe he was absolved, but how could he?

He reached out for Maggie and held her as she cried
softly.

"It's okay," he said soothingly. He talked gently to her,
telling of the frustration he had felt when they went to
turn the life support off, but not blaming her for doing
it. "I know that you and Melissa were in pain too."

Maggie found that the last minutes had helped vent a lot
of her guilt, which was a strange thing, because it had
started out with her trying to get Fox to be released
from his own. How did that happen? Was there never any
end to the surprises that this young man was capable of?
He had no professed religious faith, yet his faith in
Dana's recovery had completely eclipsed her own.

And she still needed to have a talk with Dana some time
in the near future about those dark days and decisions.
She knew that Dana would not blame her choices, but it
was a confession she needed to make to finish the healing
process.

"Thank you, Fox," Maggie said as they stepped apart. She
wiped at her eyes with a self-conscious smile. "I did
mean what I said about it not being your fault, and I
think you should talk to Dana about that to really put
your fears to rest."

That strange feeling was back, overriding even his guilty
feelings. A pull. Even before Maggie said that he should
talk to her daughter, he knew that needed to see Scully.
Right now.

Mulder nodded. "Is she upstairs?"

At Maggie's 'Yes' he hurriedly made his way to Dana's
bedroom. He knocked on the closed door. "Scully?"

There was no answer. He called softly again, then tried
the knob. The door opened.

He briefly noticed a lot of journals and newspapers
sitting in neat stacks, but his focus quickly went to his
partner. Dana was sitting on the floor with her back up
against the bed. She was crying.

"Scully?"

She jumped. As he moved into the room she hastily wiped
at her face.

"What's wrong? Are you all right?" Mulder asked, dropping
to his knees beside her.

"Yes, I'm fine."

"Then why are you crying?"

"Nothing. It's okay."

"Scully...."

She looked up at him and saw just how worried he was. How
scared.

"I just - it seems so stupid!" Dana said.

"Well, whatever it is, it obviously doesn't feel stupid
to you. Please tell me." He touched her cheek.

She gestured at her clothes.

Mulder looked. She was wearing a very pretty top and
skirt that she had never worn to work. They were more
'dressy' than business clothes, but not overdone. He
briefly wondered if they were Melissa's clothes, but no,
these were more Dana's style. "They look great."

"*They* look great." She waved a hand at the full-length
mirror nearby, that she had been staring at. "*I* don't."

"Scully...."

"They don't fit properly anymore. I can't do the zip up
on the skirt and I look so.... I just wanted to look good
for tonight...." For you.

"Dana."

His rare use of her first name got her attention.

He reached out and cupped her face in his hands. "You are
beautiful." She didn't look convinced. "Even when I came
to see you in the hospital, the first time after you woke
up, you looked so beautiful. Despite being in a hospital
bed and gown and sheets and after going through what you
did."

Dana stared at him and realised he was telling her the
truth. Or at least the truth as he saw it. And wasn't
that what mattered in this case - what he thought?

"Scully, look in that mirror and see what's really there.
A beautiful survivor. That's what matters. You're alive."

Dana blinked, struggling to control tears that this time
were nothing to do with her weight. She hugged him.
"Thank you," she whispered in his ear.

"You're welcome."

As they continued to hold each other, she reflected again
on how Mulder had given her so much. He would say that
all he did was take from her, to her detriment, but that
was not true. When she told him in the hospital that she
had the strength of his beliefs, she had known somehow
that she was paraphrasing words he had said to her,
without conscious memory of actually hearing them. But
they had been so important.

Now she wanted to give something to him, both as a gift
and a message.

When the hug ended, Dana reached over onto the bed and
picked up a wrapped package. Mulder had been too focused
on her to notice it. It was about as tall as her hand.
"Mulder, this is something I bought for you back in July,
for your birthday."

"July? And you're saying you're late? More like you were
early!"

"And I want to give it to you now, instead of at dinner."

She handed it over. Mulder was surprised by the weight.
Sitting comfortably beside Scully on the floor, up
against the bed, he opened it and found a miniature
bronze bust and immediately recognised who it was.
"George Ellery Hale."

"After your little trip to Puerto Rico I contacted the
Palomar Observatory and found out that they had a
souvenir section. Not a large one, but fortunately my
timing was right, because they had some of these. Limited
edition. I thought about giving it to you in July - when
the X-Files division was still closed and you were
thinking of leaving and you were doubting yourself. It
seems even more relevant now. A symbol of faith, just
like my cross. Please don't give up."

A warmth went through him at the thought she had put in
to choosing his present. He was deeply touched by her
gesture. "It's perfect. Thank you." Another hug. I could
get used to this, Mulder thought.

Eventually it had to end.

"I'd better decide what to wear for dinner," Dana said,
surveying the clothes that were draped over a chair.

"It doesn't matter what you wear, Scully. Just as long as
you're there." They smiled. "I'd better see if I can
squeeze in a shower before you women all descend on the
bathroom to get ready."

"Just don't use up all of the water."

"Yes, ma'am. Come on, George." He picked the bust up and
left.

Dana frowned slightly. Mention of showers and water was
causing something to niggle at her brain. Something she'd
forgotten... Regarding what though, she had no idea.

After a minute of trying to work out what, she gave up.
It would come to her eventually.

xXx

While Mulder was having his shower, Dana went down into
the sunroom. Melissa was there, meditating. But she
opened her eyes when her sister came in. "Find something
to wear, Dana?"

"It wasn't as easy as I thought, but yes."

"Good."

Dana sat down and stretched out, gazing out the glass
patio doors. "Thanks for bringing those things back for
me from my apartment. Sorry for the hunt you had to make
for the bust." She hadn't been able to remember which
closet it was in. "It was worth the effort though. Mulder
loved it. I couldn't help giving it to him - I couldn't
wait until dinner."

"Not a problem."

Dana was thinking happily about the look in Mulder's eyes
over his birthday present and her reasons for giving it
to him. But then Melissa spoke and completely pulled her
out of her thoughts.

Missy remarked, "I have to admit, little sister, that
even with my perception, out of all the men I pictured
you possibly falling in love with, someone like Mulder
was low on my list. Not in regard to his looks, but his
beliefs. But of course, opposites attract."

Dana stared at Melissa. "What are you talking about? He's
my best friend."

"That's often how the best relationships begin."

"Perhaps, but I'm not in love with him."

"I've never seen you look at another man in that way."

"What way?" Dana frowned slightly in annoyance. At her
sister's continued gaze, Dana said, "Missy, he and I have
both been through a hell of a lot lately. It's concern
that you're seeing! I'm worried about him."

"You're more tactile and demonstrative with him than with
anyone else - apart from people who are immediate family.
Though even then it can be hard to get a hug out of you."

"Excuse me?" Dana asked in disbelief.

"You're not really a touchy-feely person, Dana," Melissa
reiterated. "But with Mulder...."

"What are you talking about? Again, we've been through a
lot, and it has just been a few times. A few touches."

"Yes, and there's so much emotion in each one that I feel
like I shouldn't be in the same room." Missy smiled.
"There's something incredible between the two of you. But
you wouldn't call it love?"

At Melissa's steady gaze, Dana said, "Look, I care for
him very much. Mulder is a unique man, so yes, you could
say I feel something for him in a way that is also
unique. But again, that's because of all we've been
through together and how much I respect him."

"Then how *do* you feel about him? Do you feel jealous
when other women pay attention to him?"

Phoebe immediately sprang into Dana's mind.

I was just concerned that he would get hurt. That's all,
she told herself, even as she felt an urge to give the
woman a good right cross if she ever saw her again.

The mystery woman on Mulder's answering machine when he'd
abandoned a lunchdate to go to Puerto Rico chasing
aliens.

And the women who gave him admiring looks on cases and in
the FBI hallways.

But with those examples, Dana had felt a certain sense of
security. Mulder's quest and long working hours tended to
curb his social life. And he didn't care, happy to pay
that cost. He seemed to think about UFOs the way most men
thought about sex.

Not getting any response, Melissa pressed on. "How far
would you go for him?"

I have lied for him - something I wouldn't do for anyone
else. I went to Puerto Rico in search of him. I traded
what looked like a strange fetus for him when he was
kidnapped.

"When the X-Files division was closed down and you didn't
have to see him anymore, did you miss him? Did you seek
him out?"

The ache of not seeing him every day. Worrying about how
he was, whether he was coping with the loss of the X-
Files. Her indignation and worry when Mulder would not
meet her for lunch; instead he insisted on laying out a
set of rules for contact if needed, like they were two
spies who could only risk meeting when they had important
information.

How frantic she felt when she found him lying on the
floor of the observatory in Puerto Rico. At first she was
sure he was dead. Her desolation. Then he took a breath,
and so did she.

Frantic again when he was stuck on what turned out to be
the flukeman case, and he announced he was considering
quitting the Bureau.

And again when he was held hostage by Duane Barry.

How she had woken up in the hospital, wanting to see
Mulder even more than her own family. How she had felt
when he came into her room.

"Dana?"

She looked at her sister. She opened her mouth to answer,
not sure just what would come out. Then the thought
occurred that Mulder could easily wander in or approach
and overhear. Or that he might have already.

But then she was aware that she could still hear the
clunking of the hot water system in operation. Her mother
was in the back yard talking over the fence with a
neighbour, so that noise had to be Mulder still in the
shower.

"I'm waiting," Melissa prodded.

Dana said, "How I feel about Mulder.... Well, it's hard
to describe. I've never really felt this way before," she
admitted. Then comprehension dawned. She had never felt
like this because she had never been this deeply in love
with anyone before. "Oh God...." she said very quietly.
"I didn't... I didn't realise."

"Congratulations," Melissa said with only a faint hint of
irony. "It's love."

Dana leaned back heavily against the cushions of her
chair, feeling like she was reeling in shock. Suddenly a
whole lot of things fell into place and made sense.
However, the revelation was not without reservations,
fears and possible complications that Dana's innate logic
immediately brought to the forefront.

After a long pause, she said, "Melissa, I might feel that
way about Mulder, but he doesn't feel that way about me."
Dana couldn't help the sad tone in her voice.

"Oh, he does. It doesn't take a psychic to see it. That's
one thing you don't have to be worried about."

"His feelings are the guilt he feels over what's happened
to me," Dana explained, trying to convince both of them.

"You look in his eyes and see guilt, but try looking
deeper. There's love behind it."

"Love for me like his love for his sister," Dana
corrected.

"He loved his sister very much. Just like with you."
Melissa suddenly stopped and gaped at Dana. "Or are you
saying that he *thinks* of you like a sister?" she asked
incredulously.

"Yes. Perhaps I'm subconsciously filling the void for him
-" Dana broke off, realising that Melissa was breaking
into a grin. "Missy! It's not funny!"

"I know. But do you *seriously* think that Mulder sees
you in that way?" Was Dana that blind?

"Yes. There are a lot of comparisons. We were both
abducted. Now I've replaced her in his nightmares."

"The only thing *that* proves is how much he must feel
for you. Not *how* he must be feeling."

"Melissa...." Dana thought of all the times that Mulder
became so protective of female victims and she saw this
as a projection of his sister onto them. Why not onto her
as well?

And his quest was the most important thing in his life.
There was no room for romance, for an ordinary life, in
it. She couldn't allow herself to hope.

Could she?


END PART SEVEN OF ELEVEN

(8/11)
xXx

Mulder looked at his reflection in the mirror. He
adjusted the cravat. It was a band of silk worn around
the neck, wider than a tie, but not as wide as a scarf.
He had been introduced to them at Oxford, due to being
invited to a ball that a friend's very wealthy parents
held each year.

The cravat added a touch of class to his appearance,
which was a good thing, considering that the Scully women
were dressing up for him tonight.

Any help I can get....

He supposed he was as ready for this celebratory dinner
as he ever would be. Time to get downstairs. He opened
the bedroom door and stepped out, to find Dana coming
down the hallway from her bedroom.

They stopped and stared at each other.

Mulder could see that Scully had done something with her
hair - curled it somehow. She had told him earlier that
she had been thinking of cutting her hair back to the
length she was used to, but then decided to leave it long
for now. He liked it long. She was wearing lipstick and
eyeshadow in shades that he had never seen her wear
before. She blushed though, her expression self-conscious
under his gaze.

He didn't know that her self-consciousness wasn't just
from what she was wearing. But Dana was glad that it
provided a handy 'cover' as she tried to come to terms
with her epiphany. She had so much to absorb....

Feeling like a teenager greeting his prom date, he walked
toward her. "You look great."

"That should be my line." She nodded appreciatively at
his outfit.

"Wearing Charlie's clothes was your mother's idea." They
weren't a close fit, but would do the job.

"And whose idea was the cravat?"

This time it was Mulder's turn to feel self-conscious. He
tugged slightly at his collar. "Your mom's. Guess I
really do look spooky now."

"Mulder, it really suits you."

"Well, if you think so, I won't stick with my plan of
spilling something on it and then being able to ditch
it." Actually, considering the admiring look she was
giving him, he considered whether he should bother going
back to ties after this. He held out the crook of his
arm. "Can I escort you downstairs?"

Dana slipped her hand into position. Smiling, they went
to dinner.

xXx

Maggie hid her smile of relief behind her napkin. Dana
and Fox had eaten well tonight - the most either of them
had consumed while under her care. Talk was animated and
lively. Fox had been extremely charming the whole time,
stating how lucky he was to be in such company.

He insisted on Dana helping him blow out the candles on
the chocolate cake, because, after all, this was a
celebration for her too.

When pieces of the cake were handed out, Dana hesitated.
Mulder looked at her.

"I'll have some," Dana said. "But just a little. It's
very rich and I'm very full."

Mulder put a larger slice in front of her than she had in
mind. "Eat it," he ordered, and she did.

While eating his second slice of chocolate cake, Mulder
noticed that his tastebuds were in full swing again at
last. It was delicious. His appetite was growing in leaps
and bounds too.

Maggie gave Mulder a packet of sunflower seeds as a
birthday present - she had wanted to give him a lot more,
but she knew he was already uncomfortable at the fuss,
and that he felt he was getting plenty already through
her hospitality.

He smiled - it had been a while since he had cracked a
seed. Or at least with any enthusiasm.

And to complement Maggie's present Melissa gave him a
ceramic dish that was beautifully made and glazed.
"That's to hold the seeds and spent shells in. There was
a smashed bowl in your apartment that looked like it was
used for that purpose."

Melissa was staying tonight too, then would go back to
her own place in the morning and on to work from there.
Her first massage appointment was not an early one, which
helped.

The doorbell rang. Mulder looked at his watch. "This
should be my contribution." He went to the door and
returned nearly dwarfed behind three beautiful bunches of
flowers. He proceeded to hand them out.

"Fox, how on earth did you find a florist open at this
hour and on a Sunday?" Maggie asked.

"I know people." Mulder turned to Dana. "Langly's sister
is a florist. I guess you've already got plenty of
flowers, but -"

These ones were from him, so that made all the
difference. "These are lovely," Dana said. "The others
are on their way out anyway, so they needed replacing."

Mulder was glad, because flowers were all he could think
of on short notice.

While her sister and mother bustled around sorting out
vases and water, Dana looked at Mulder. Her feelings for
him had changed or grown somewhere along the way since
their first meeting. She could not be sure when. But
Melissa was right, it was love.

The question now was what to do about it? She was not
naive enough to think this was a crush that would just go
away, but things would be much simpler if it did....

The times that she had been asked out, she had used the
excuse - both to the men and herself - that at the moment
work was taking up all her time. It was to a degree the
truth. She really wanted to concentrate on her career.
However, work often was quite busy, but not all the time.
And once she was back at Quantico teaching, she could
have fitted in a social life if she chose to. But she
didn't.

Or she told herself that the guy in question just wasn't
her type. She hadn't admitted to herself what living,
breathing template she was measuring them against....

The excitement she would feel upon entering the basement
office - it wasn't just to see what new and challenging
case Mulder had come up with. It was to see him, to hear
that voice, to have her mind stimulated in ways it never
had before.

It was all so clear now.

That night the partners stayed up later than they had the
previous night. Then everyone retired to their respective
beds - Mulder's being the sofa bed.

xXx

Floating. Not in dreams and sleep, but in water. Not
water... wrong consistency. A liquid.

Completely submersed. Surrounded. Suspended.

In a cylinder? A tank?

Suspended in time as well?

Something in her throat, keeping her breathing.

Occasionally there was an electric current or jolt
through the liquid, making her arms or legs move, or
letting her brain have a few thoughts - a few seconds of
awareness.

Exercising her body and mind. Keeping it viable. Or
testing it.

xXx

Dana sat up. Her alarm had not gone off yet for her first
Mulder-check of the night - it was not due to for another
fifteen minutes - but what she had seen and felt in her
dream was enough of a wake up call. And this time she
could remember it.

But was it just a dream or actual memories from her
missing time?

She forced herself to analyse it.

If the dream was a real memory, it seemed that 'They' had
kept her in a kind of hibernation. So her hair and nails
grew and her body stockpiled reserves.

If it was true, it was frightening, but being kept on
'ice' was more manageable than many of the things she had
read about or heard during cases. If of course
hibernation was the only thing that had happened to
her....

Though it had echoes of the case where Mulder had told
her about seeing the live bodies in the tanks of liquid.
Deep Throat had told her and Mulder that these were
humans who were experimented on and given alien DNA.

Dana told herself that scenario had not happened to her.
It couldn't have. Nothing had come up in her hospital
tests.

Plus there was no such thing as aliens.

But something strange had been in that Erlenmeyer flask.
She could not deny it.

Breathing deeply, Dana got out of bed. Enough analysing
for now. Push it aside until the morning. Turn the alarm
off and go check Mulder.

xXx

Maggie's ears opened her eyes. Oh, not again!

Practise was making Dana quieter in her Mulder-patrol,
but not perfect.

She listened to her daughter begin round one of her self-
imposed duty. The thought of another night of this to-ing
and fro-ing....

This has to stop, Maggie thought. Right now. She got up.

xXx

Dana stood watching her sleeping partner, the feelings
her nightmare had dredged up gradually dissipating. Or
retreating, for now, as she focused on the other big jolt
she'd had in the last day.

She wanted to reach out and hold him like they had
earlier. And to talk.

There were things she wanted to say to him, but was she
just reacting or overreacting to everything that had
happened? Yes, she loved Mulder and her abduction had
taught her the value of living life and not wasting a
day. But what if they both let events get to them and
rushed in, then woke up and knew they had made a mistake,
that they had just clung together like two survivors from
a shipwreck?

Or what if he didn't feel that way? Dana had wanted to
believe Melissa's assurances, but what she really needed
was proof. Direct from the source.

But how? And when?

And the risks to their friendship and partnership....

She checked her watch in the lamplight. How long should
she stay down here? Then she heard footsteps on the
stairs.

Damn. I disturbed Mom again!

She put a smile on and met her mother at the bottom of
the stairs, trying to come up with an excuse. "Sorry, Mom
-"

Maggie wordlessly lifted her right arm and handed her
daughter a large, soft object.

Dana stared at the gift. "A pillow?"

"Your pillow." Maggie then took her daughter by the
shoulders, turned her around, and gently but firmly
marched her back through the living room entryway.

"Mom - what...?"

"It's a double bed. You're a smart girl, Dana. You do the
math."

"Mom...." Dana gaped at her. Stunned. Almost scandalised.

"*Goodnight*," Maggie said firmly and left the room. Now
it would be a good night for all, she hoped.

Margaret found Missy waiting for her at the top of the
stairs. "Way to go, Mom! But how come you wouldn't let me
have Jeff in my room when we stayed with you last year?"

"Because, to be frank, you two were in lust, not love."

Melissa grinned, not at all offended. It was the truth,
after all. "Plus Dad was still alive and nearly burst a
blood vessel at the thought."

"That too."

Mother and daughter returned to their respective rooms.
As Maggie got back into bed, she looked at the photo of
her husband on the dresser and smiled.

"Yes, Bill, I have just given our daughter permission to
sleep with her work partner under our roof. But I doubt
they'd be able to get up to anything. Regardless, they
both deserve some comfort, and he's the one. Her soul
mate."

xXx

Dana had encountered many things while on the X-Files,
but this was....

Her mother had just given her permission to sleep with
Mulder.

Well, not even permission. An order.

There was another sofa in the room, but Maggie hadn't
said to sleep on it. She had specified the *bed*.

Okay, Dana knew it wasn't exactly like she and Mulder
were going to have rampant sex, but still....

She shifted from one foot to the other. She was thrilled
and scared to death at the same time at the prospect of
actually crawling into bed with a warm, sleeping Mulder.

Deep down, if she really was honest with herself, this
was what she had wanted to do all along. Where she wanted
to be.

Mulder changed position in his sleep, but didn't wake up.
Somehow he had slept through Maggie and Dana's quiet
conversation. Dana edged over to the bed.

She put her pillow in position and took her robe off,
draping it over the sofa arm. She pulled the covers down
on the vacant side - enough to let her get in. Then she
did just that, hoping she didn't disturb him. Once in
bed, she turned onto her side so that she was facing
Mulder.

Once again, he stirred a little, then kept sleeping.
Which was just as well, really, because what on earth was
she going to say to him in explanation when he woke up?

But that didn't matter for now. She was with her partner.

Together they were capable of so much. She hoped that
their combined presence would keep the nightmares at bay
tonight.

xXx

A misty, ethereal lake.

Her father waiting for her.

But then Mulder's voice....

They were not nightmare images. They were memories.
Clearer than the fragments she already had.

Just as Dana was surfacing from sleep, carrying them with
her, they were swept aside by a realisation.

Mulder was in her arms.

She opened her eyes. Night-time still, but enough light
to see by - whether from moon or lamp she didn't notice
and didn't much care.

She and Mulder were on their sides. Her chin was resting
in his hair. His arms were around her waist and his head
was against her chest. When she carefully raised her head
and looked down, she could see that his eyes were closed.
She could feel his breathing and heartbeat, the rhythm of
peaceful sleep.

Her own heart was beating more quickly, not just from her
dream. Holding Mulder felt wonderful, but she could not
remember how they had ended up like this. Had one of them
had a nightmare and the other reached out? Or had they
automatically gravitated to the middle of the bed, being
used to having the whole expanse exclusively, and so
collided and tangled?

Or had it been a subconscious pull - the need and desire
to be together?

It didn't matter. Even the distance of a foot or two
between them when she had first gotten into the bed was
too far. Now it was bridged.

He was asleep in her arms and he looked relaxed and
content. Emotions swelled in her.

And she remembered her dream of the lake.

You brought me back, Mulder.

After her nightmare earlier, she had hoped the night
would pass quickly. Now she didn't want it to end.

Mulder stirred. He mumbled, "Scully...." but his eyes
were closed and Dana could tell he was still asleep.

"I'm here, Mulder. It's okay," she whispered.

He gave a contented sigh, then was quiet.

It was strange how natural this felt, considering she was
used to sleeping alone.

Yin and Yang, she found herself thinking. In opposites, a
whole.

He looked so beautiful at rest.

Mulder's arms tightened briefly, as if in a hug or a
'yes, she's here' motion. She answered by gently running
a hand up and down his back and then stroking his hair.

At one point, half asleep, she was vaguely aware of
shifting her position from lying on her side to settling
onto her back, and taking Mulder with her, so now he was
partly lying on top of her. The weight was not
suffocating or uncomfortable. It was right.

xXx

Mulder drifted contentedly. No nightmares. Wonderful
dreams instead. So comfortable. He could stay like this
forever.

His pillow moved.

Huh? What the -

Then he realised what his pillow felt like.

But no - surely it couldn't -

He opened his eyes, raised his head slightly and looked
up. "Scully?"

Her smile seemed both shy and happy. "Morning...."

Ohmigod!

Mulder was too surprised to move. His head had been
resting between... right between her....

Oh
My
God....

It was on the tip of his tongue to blurt out: What am I
doing up close and personal with your chest?

Well, not 'skin to skin' personal, skin to pajamas
personal. But surely close enough.

Out of the zillions of thoughts that ran through his
head, Mulder found himself verbalising only a few. For
now. "How did I get into your bed? I don't sleepwalk...."

Her smile was still shy, but amusement was creeping in.
"Um, I've got news for you, Mulder. This is *your* bed."

His eyes nearly popped out. She was right. The sofa bed.
The living room.

Then how on earth?
Should I move from where I'm lying?
Don't want to, that's for sure!
But I'm too heavy -
Should I let go of her?

However he was aware that Scully's arms weren't moving
from their hold around *him*, so there he stayed, though
his mind was racing in contrast. He managed to say, or
rather babble out, "Oh. And here I was, about to
apologise for encroaching on your bed and sleep. Though
if your mother comes in now and sees us like this, she's
going to think I'm getting a little too hospitable in her
home."

Scully's smile grew broader. "Mom practically tucked me
in with you."

"You're kidding," he said in disbelief.

Dana had finally found something her partner was
sceptical about. "I think Mom thought we'd both sleep
better."

"She did?" As much as Mulder was enjoying being in
Scully's arms like this, he was still trying to piece
together how this had happened. "Scully... did I have a
nightmare? Did you hear me and come in and fall asleep
here while making sure I was okay?"

Perhaps she held me and I clung to her and she couldn't
disentangle herself, so she lay down to keep comforting
me while getting some rest. Perhaps.

Then he saw that while his partner had a pillow
underneath her head, there was another pillow next to
it... There had definitely only been one last night.

From the moment that Mulder woke up and stared at her,
Dana knew that she should let go of him. Decorum,
professionalism and all that. Well, her 'Scully' persona
knew she should and thought that she should, but her
'Dana' persona was not quite so inclined.

If she let go of Mulder, he would then take that as a cue
to get up. Perhaps he would still stay in the bed.
Perhaps not.

But she did not want to let him go. She was too full of
the feelings that she now had a name for, and full of her
remembrance of Mulder's part in her survival. Those
things and her second chance at life were making her want
to not only 'seize the day', but 'seize the Mulder'.

To hold him, if just for a little while longer. They both
needed this and deserved it.

Dana knew she had not gotten into bed with Mulder on his
first night here for a few reasons. One was worry about
her mother's reaction when it was under her roof. But
mainly because Dana had been scared about her own
feelings and reactions. Even though at the time she
didn't know them for what they were, before Melissa
forced her to see the truth.

Now Mulder had an uncertain expression on his face. She
knew he didn't want to move either, but he was wondering
if he should.

She became aware that she had not answered his question.
They had just been staring at each other, lost to all
else.

"I came down here to check on you." No need to mention
just how many times she had been doing that - she would
just let him think it was a once off. "And Mom told me I
should stay down here."

Mulder looked doubtful. "You mean to say that your mom -
your Catholic, 'do the right thing' mother - was
perfectly happy for you to be in bed with me?"

"I think she has you pegged as a gentleman." Not to
mention probably not capable of getting up to anything
hot and heavy at the moment anyway. Damn. "And I think
she knew that each other's company was what we needed.
Holding isn't a sin," Dana pointed out. "And Mom's not as
staunch and rigid a Catholic as you seem to think. My
father was one in many ways, but as for Mom - well, where
do you think Melissa got her spirit from?"

"Pixies?" he suggested impishly.

"Stick around Mom long enough and you'll see it come
through in different ways. Mom and Dad usually presented
a united front though, and with four very headstrong kids
and a husband away so often, she had to be more firm and
strict than she probably would have liked. In this
particular case - you and me - perhaps she was happy to
make an exception."

"Oh. Okay. Um, what time is it?"

"Not time to get up yet."

"So... it's okay if I...." The words stumbled out of
Mulder's mouth.

Dana looked serene. "I'm not complaining."

A long gaze, then Mulder put his head back down and
closed his eyes. He couldn't help noticing that Scully's
heart and breathing were fast, as if the wait for his
decision and reaction had been strenuous. Important.

We're just holding. It's nice. We like it. We deserve it.
It's just like hugging.

Horizontally.

He wanted to stay like this. Not just until they had to
get up, but from now on. For every day for the rest of
their lives.

But he couldn't think like that. Well, he could fantasize
about it, sure, but he couldn't act on it.

Scully deserves better.
She would never think of you in that way.
This is just the two of you reacting to all that's
happened.
Comforting. Reassuring. Healing.
Nothing wrong with that.

For now, he could stay here. They could remain like this
for a little while longer.


END PART EIGHT OF ELEVEN

(9/11)
xXx

Kitchen
Breakfast

Maggie made no direct reference to the night's shared
sleeping arrangements. Indirect, yes. "Did you sleep
well?"

"Very," Mulder found himself replying, meeting her eyes.

Wow, he thought. I didn't even stumble or stutter. I
guess I used up all my shock and lack of poise earlier
this morning. Though let's see how I go with actual
sentences.

At his answer, he briefly saw a very Melissa-like grin on
Maggie's face as she turned to the stove. Scully was
right, he realised.

Maggie had also asked Dana the 'sleep well' question -
earlier, when Mulder was in the bathroom.

Her daughter had simply smiled and replied, "I'm glad you
made me do my math, Mom."

"As long as there was no 'multiplication', dear." Maggie
winked. Even if there had been, at least it was with the
right man. She was sure that Fox and her daughter would
get together eventually. A baby could speed that up. So
could the ordeal both had endured.

Maggie watched happily as Fox spread a generous helping
of jam over his toast. He bit into it with great
satisfaction.

After breakfast, it was time for Melissa to leave. Her
bunch of flowers from Mulder had been carefully placed in
the car. She hugged her mother and sister, then turned to
Mulder.

"Your dark places aren't so dark anymore. Keep moving
towards the light." She flicked a look towards Dana, then
got into her car with a smile, before he could say
anything or react beyond an amused look.

After breakfast, Dana and Mulder went for another walk.
The day was cold, but rain and snow were holding off, so
they went further than on Sunday's trek.

Mulder was glad to get the exercise. It was strange to
have a decent night's sleep, then get up in the morning
and not dive back into the abduction casefile. The
process of going over and over every aspect of the file,
trying to find anything that could lead him to her....

But those responsible were still out there and his sister
was still missing, so as soon as Skinner would allow it,
he would be back in the saddle.

Scully's meeting with Skinner was this afternoon and the
A.D. would be asking her if she wanted to resign or
transfer.

Half of Mulder hoped that Scully would get back in the
FBI saddle -

And ride off in another direction. Away from him. To some
other division or department. New challenges. More
safety.

The other half of Mulder... well, it was selfish.

But the thing was that she COULD 'ride' again.

Mulder broke out of his thoughts and contemplated a
nearby house. He pointed. "Hey, look at that place,
Scully. I can just see you on the porch swing, yelling at
your kid not to climb that damn tree."

And if he or she was your kid, Dana thought, I can
certainly imagine them trying. "No. Too gingerbready. I'd
feel like I was waiting for Hansel and Gretel to show
up."

Mulder kept on pointing out houses. They turned it into a
game. "That part of that house with the garage from that
house and the tree from that one...."

xXx

Maggie's house:

Mulder was actually feeling quite content. He'd had a
good night's sleep in Scully's arms - well, it was
actually the most restful night's sleep he could remember
- had enough of an appetite at last to put away a hearty
breakfast, got some exercise and was now at the kitchen
table reading the sports section.

The phone rang. Mulder looked up briefly. Maggie was
upstairs vacuuming and he thought Scully was sorting some
laundry, but she should hear the phone.

It kept ringing.

Mulder hastily got up and went out into the hall. He put
the receiver to his ear. "Scully residence."

There was a slight pause, then an angry male voice
demanded, "Who the hell are you? What are you doing
answering this phone?"

Dana hit 'start' on the washing machine and headed for
the front of the house. She wondered who had called and
assumed that either Maggie had picked it up or Mulder had
answered and taken the phone up to her, because the
vacuum had stopped.

But then Dana saw Mulder standing by the hallway table.
The phone was up to his ear. His body was stiff, as if he
was standing at attention. And his face.... Mulder's eyes
were staring at the wall, *through* the wall as if it
wasn't there. Whatever he was seeing in his mind's eye
was not good.

"Mulder?"

No response - to either her or the caller. His raised
hand was shaking slightly but his haunted expression did
not waver.

Dana moved closer. "Mulder? Who is it?"

She could hear a voice. It was a male, either yelling or
speaking very loudly. Dana could not make out the words
or who it was. She turned and hurried to the upstairs
extension, past her puzzled mother.

Dana picked up the extension and a familiar voice
streamed out of it, berating without pause.

"-ck are you there for, anyway? Trying to alleviate some
guilt? Do her a favour and leave her a-"

"Bill, what the hell do you think you're doing?" Dana
interjected.

"Dana -"

"Actually, I know what the hell you're doing and you're
to stop it, right now!"

"It's not like the guy's disagreeing with me," her elder
brother protested.

"It's not like you're giving him a chance to!" Poor
Mulder, she thought, standing there and 'accepting'
Bill's browbeating as a punishment that he deserved.

"I'm just -" her brother continued.

"Bill, shut up or I will shoot you. Mulder, I'm sorry.
Ignore my idiot brother and hang up the phone, okay?"

There was a pause, then a click.

Bill tried again. "Dana -"

She cut in, giving Bill a taste of his own medicine.
"Mulder is a guest in this house. Do you seriously think
that Mom would have him here if she felt he was in any
way responsible for what happened to me? She doesn't
blame him. I don't blame him. And I will not have him
subjected to your crap!"

"You and Mom have always been too... kind-hearted."

Dana knew he had been about to say 'soft'. "Bill -"

"Why is he there? You're not going to return to being a
field agent, are you?" Bill asked in a suspicious tone.

"I certainly am going to. I want to."

"You were kidnapped because of one of his cases! Even
though you didn't work with him anymore! Please tell me
you're at least going to shift to a different division -"

Dana cut in. "I'll discuss this with you later." Or deal
with you later. "Right now I have to see what damage
you've done."

Damn. Just when things were going so well....

xXx

Outwardly Mulder did not look overly perturbed, but Dana
knew that inside was another matter. He had waved off the
apologies from both Scully women, saying there was no
need.

But Dana approached him again soon afterwards. "Mulder,
I'm sorry. Bill had no right to say those things."

"He did. He's your brother. I remember what it was like -
looking out for my sister. Not wanting anything bad to
happen to her."

"Bill doesn't understand what happened. So he's only got
pieces to react to. But that doesn't make him right."
Bill had taken the information the family had given him
and formed his own conclusions about who was at fault.
Mulder was the 'logical' one, to his point of view.

"I've caused enough trouble without causing a rift
between you and your brother," Mulder said. He knew he
sounded a bit angry, but he couldn't help it. Anger at
Bill, at himself. Even at Scully for not blaming him....

"Causing a rift? There's always been one, to a degree. He
always was a bully. One of the appealing factors of Navy
life for him was that if he got high enough in rank he
could boss people around." Dana could sense that she had
probably gotten as far on the subject with Mulder as she
could for now. She looked at the time. "Anyway, soon we'd
better head over to your apartment and make a start on
the cleaning. I'll drive us over and take along a change
of clothes so I can get ready for my meeting with
Skinner."

"You don't have to help. I appreciate the offer, but I
can -"

"We can."

He couldn't help but smile at her determination. "Sure."

"We can check out my apartment tomorrow."

xXx

Maggie saw Dana and Fox off at the door, knowing they
would be back at her house by dinner.

The Gunmen were waiting outside Mulder's apartment
building in their van. He had asked them to come along
when he was on the phone with them on Sunday. They piled
out of their vehicle.

"Scully, welcome back!" the trio chorused.

"Thanks. And thank you for the flowers when I was in the
hospital, Frohike. They were lovely." Melvin blushed,
then Dana saw he was looking at her closely, and she felt
herself blushing in turn, self-conscious about her
appearance.

He seemed to pick up on that. "Scully, you still look
hot. It's just great to see you again."

She smiled. The boys had brought along bug-sweeping
equipment at Mulder's request. They hauled the gear up to
Number 42, then stood staring through the doorway at the
mess when Mulder opened the door.

"Geez, Mulder, man. Do you mind clearing us a path so
that we can actually move around in there?" Langly asked.

"We're going to pick up plenty of bugs - of the wriggly
kind," was Byers' comment.

Mulder just shrugged, not interested in going into the
details of what had happened. The landlord was still
letting him lease the apartment, which was a relief.
Apartment-hunting for himself was something he could do
without. He just had to replace what was broken or
damaged here, and pay for any repairs.

They all set to work. Mulder checked his answering
machine, finding a message from his mother on it. He
phoned back but got her own answering machine, so said
that he would call again that night.

He tried to recall how long it had been since they had
spoken. His birthday, probably. Scully had still been
missing, so there was nothing to celebrate. There was
only the quest to find her. It had completely eclipsed
even his quest to find his sister.

Mulder found himself wondering how long it had been since
he and his father had spoken, but he wasn't sure if his
ability to count went that high.

xXx

Dana cleaned out the fridge and was about to haul a
garbage bag of the leftovers out to the trash when Mulder
appeared next to her and came with her. She felt both
bemused and a little annoyed.

Does he think I'm going to be abducted while putting the
trash out?

But it could also be a basic desire to have her company.
Even when she was in his kitchen and he was in the living
room, she wanted to go and be with him. Could she dare
hope that he felt the same? That this wasn't just worry?

The Gunmen eventually declared the apartment bug-free.
Mulder offered to phone for takeout for everyone, but the
trio said they had somewhere to be. When he inquired,
they got cryptic and hurriedly left.

Dana voiced her thoughts, "Do you think I made them
uncomfortable?"

"No, I just think they wanted to give us some time
alone." He gave a mock leer. "So, do you want to phone
for a pizza?" While awaiting her answer, he continued
picking up the pieces of a statue that his mother had
given him years ago.

Dana looked at the remnants. "Are you going to try to fix
it?"

"No. The bastards really did a number on it." They had
started a list on a legal pad of things he needed to
purchase as replacement items.

There was a pause. Then Dana said, "You haven't told me
what happened here."

"Because there's nothing to tell. Nothing that I know of,
anyway. I came home and found the place trashed. Skinner
sent a team around. They found no leads and none of my
neighbours could provide any information."

"Do you know who did it?"

He stopped his gathering and stared at her. "If I did, I
would have told Skinner, wouldn't I?"

"And you know just as well as I do that some people
manage to keep out of reach of justice. And they have
plenty of underlings to do their work for them."

Mulder shrugged and said, "I'm pretty sure it was some of
Cancer Man's cronies, but it's hard to put an APB out on
nameless, faceless people. Justice will be served though.
Eventually. I'll make sure of it."

"Do you know why they did this?"

"Looking for my special collectors issues of Celebrity
Skin, I guess. They were probably just rattling my cage."

"Or they were searching for something," she said.

He countered with, "Well, they would have left empty
handed, because there was nothing here." I should have
been, Mulder thought. Waiting for them, like X
instructed. And then instead of nothing they would have
each gotten a bullet.

But in the end, he knew he had made the right choice. To
be at Scully's bedside.

Dana kept pressing. "Skinner told me he found the
apartment like this when he came to see you on the day I
came out of my coma."

"Yeah."

"When did it happen?"

"Sometime the night before."

"While you were at the hospital with me."

He nodded, startled. How did she know that? Maggie must
have told her. Then again, when Scully woke up she had
said that she had the strength of his beliefs - as if she
had heard what he had said when she was dying....

"When did Skinner come around to see you?" she asked.

He shrugged. "Late afternoon." He had visited Scully and
returned her cross during the morning. He knew where she
was heading with her questions. "Yes, I didn't report
about my apartment. I was going to, but when I first
found it trashed I was too distracted - I thought you
were dying or dead. Then when I got the call in the
morning and went back and saw you and knew that you were
all right, I just went home and crashed on the couch." He
had been so drained and near collapse, but the sleep had
not been refreshing. Then Skinner had knocked on the
door.

Dana folded her arms, thinking back to something that her
sister had mentioned. "Melissa told me she came here to
tell you I was about to die. She said you were
distracted, sitting in the dark. Like you were waiting
for someone." She watched him closely. "You knew they
were coming."

He found himself saying, "Yes, I knew. I'd been tipped
off about it. I was sitting there with my gun waiting for
them. The men that X said took you. I was waiting to
dispense justice. Then Melissa showed up and told me you
wouldn't survive the night." The words were pouring out
of Mulder now. "So I went and sat with you instead. So I
wasn't there at the time they were to arrive. I didn't
kill those men. Just like I didn't fill Cancer Man full
of holes after you'd been found. I had the opportunity.
Just like -" He was about to tell her about handing in
his resignation, but stopped. He had already given away
far more than he should have.

Dana said quietly, "I'm glad you didn't shoot anyone.
You're not a murderer."

If you had died, I would have been, he thought.

Dana wanted to ask more about what he had revealed, but
sensed once again that pushing any more right now, no
matter how gently, would clam him right up. Frustrating,
but better to leave the door ajar for the future than
shut tight for good. She would try opening it again soon
enough.

For now, Dana would open her own door a little more and
also reveal something that might bring her partner a
little reassurance.

"I had a dream last night, Mulder." Several actually, but
she would tell him about the lake and waking up from the
coma tonight. For now she told him everything she could
remember about being 'stored' in the liquid.

"Like the case with the monkeys and the flask," Mulder
said.

"Well, I haven't got green blood or the ability to
breathe underwater." Her joke fell flat. The apartment
cleaning was forgotten around them. "And this morning
when I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth I remembered
something else. I was lying on a table, I think. I
couldn't move, and I could hear a man talking. I managed
to open my eyes for a moment. I think he was Asian.... He
said that when he found out I was coming he looked
forward to running the tests on me. But they were under
strict orders that I was just to be monitored, and that
was all. Not a guinea pig. A very special guest. The
voice was disappointed. So perhaps I was off limits -
that would explain why the doctors at Georgetown couldn't
find anything. Though I guess it doesn't explain the
condition I was in when I showed up there. But I can't
remember any experiments."

Hopefully she had just been stored and not sliced....

Mulder was looking at her quietly and Dana wondered if
telling him about those memories had been the right thing
to do. But she could remember them and it could help
track down those responsible.

She also wondered if Mulder was going to recommend that
she try regression hypnosis. It could provide some
answers. Or it might not. False recollections were a
possibility. And in a way she didn't really want to find
out - unless she kept recalling things to the point that
it was affecting her and giving the danger of flashbacks
hitting in the middle of a case, endangering their lives.
Or holding back her progress.

But that wasn't an issue at the moment. She needed time
to recover and to see how things were. She looked at
Mulder and knew that even though the words had not been
mentioned, they were thinking about the same thing. He
could sense her reasons and was leaving it up to her. He
would understand and accept whichever choice she made.

Mulder hoped that whatever Scully would recall was
nothing like the horrors his imagination and countless
abductee reports had filled his brain with: whirring
drills, a device blowing her abdomen up for examination,
impregnation or torture. But, despite that wish -

"Can you let me know if you do remember anything, no
matter how vague it is? Please?" he asked.

"I will." Dana looked at her watch and decided they
should have a break. "Come on, let's get changed and I'll
take you to lunch. My treat."

xXx

Lunch at Dana's choice of restaurant was enjoyable,
though both were used to being in such an isolated bubble
that being back amongst a large group of people was
strange.

After the meal, Dana freshened up and then they headed to
the Hoover Building. They arrived in plenty of time and
so went down to the basement office first.

The place felt neglected.

Dana turned around, trying to work out what felt so
different. It had been a while of course since she was in
here, as the X-Files were closed for months before her
abduction, but still, something wasn't right.

Mulder excused himself to go to the bathroom. Dana
wondered if she should take the opportunity to go looking
for her file. The file about her abduction. But was she
ready?

She had not seen it in Mulder's apartment. In fact, she
hadn't seen any X-File folders at his place, which was
odd, because he usually had at least some out to go over.

And there weren't any lying around the office either.
That was weird.

Then Dana realised that things were missing. A shelf was
empty, where it usually held books. The old microscope
was gone. The cast of 'Bigfoot's' footprint. More and
more items - all missing.

And all of them were Mulder's own possessions, not Bureau
equipment or supplies. He had found it easier to have his
collection of paranormal literature and oddities at work
than at home. Especially with the cramped size of his
apartment. It was also convenient when doing research at
work.

But the items were not at Mulder's apartment. Today she
had been in each room at some stage or another and surely
she would have seen at least some of those things, or
even a heap of boxes.

When the X-Files were first closed down and the basement
office placed off limits to the two agents, Mulder had
decided against retrieving his goods. For the time being.
Skinner had assured him that nothing would be touched,
and Mulder had been so sure that it would just be a
matter of time before they were back at work down there.
"Plus it saves me having to hire storage space for all of
it," he joked at the time.

The X-Files had been reopened since she had first gone
missing, so why weren't there files lying around and
things crammed on shelves? Surely the brass wouldn't have
let Mulder work on her file to the exclusion of all else
for so long?

Dana noted that the swimsuit calendar was still pinned
up. On his first day back at work after recovering from
being shot in the leg, she had presented it to him as a
gag gift.

"You're going to let me have this in the office, Scully?"
he said with a grin.

"The sights will encourage you to actually change it at
the end of every month. Hmmm, perhaps manufacturers
should print pictures of scantily clad females on toilet
paper and bring a halt to the empty roll phenomenon!"
They laughed. "I figured you needed a treat. And I've got
a male swimsuit calendar I'm going to put up near my
desk."

"Now I see the devious logic behind your present."

When Mulder came back from the bathroom, Dana quizzed him
about the missing items.

"Oh - they're in boxes in the trunk of my car. It was
some stuff that the Gunmen wanted to look over. But then
everything happened at once, and I forgot." Mulder hoped
she accepted that. It was partly true. The stuff *was*
all in boxes in his car trunk. And he had intended to
take it all to the Gunmen. Because at that point he had
handed in his resignation and was clearing out. With
everything that occurred since that point, the boxes were
still in the trunk. "The guys probably don't need to see
it all anymore."

Scully had told him about her recollections from her
abduction - so would telling her about his resignation be
such a bad thing? He hesitated, unsure, and in that
moment, Dana changed the subject.

"So, what cases did you work on?"

"Not many actual X-Files."

xXx

Soon it was time to head upstairs to Skinner's office.
Mulder headed for the door with her.

"You don't have to come with me."

"He might want to see me as well, after you. And I've got
some things to do up there too."

Dana didn't quite buy that, but did not argue. Mulder's
official meeting with Skinner was set for a few days'
time. Skinner hadn't been able to schedule a meeting with
him for today.

The elevator was empty for a start, but as they went
higher, people got in and did double takes. Ever since
her first X-File cases, Dana was used to stares when at
the Hoover Building and at Quantico, but that was usually
when 'Spooky' Mulder was with her, so the focus was
usually directed more at him than her, or at them as a
team.

Not this time.

Now people were staring like she was a museum exhibit.

Or a miracle in the flesh.

Dana weathered the gazes in the elevator and on the
journey across the bullpen.

I'm alive. It's worth being under the microscope. This
will pass.

Mulder was tense beside her, probably sending out death
glares at those who were too obvious in their scrutiny.
Dana acknowledged the 'Welcome back's and 'How are you's
and then finally they were in Skinner's outer office,
being warmly greeted by Kim.

xXx

The meeting with Skinner went well. He put the question
of reassignment to her in a professional manner and she
dismissed the notion in a just-as-professional manner. At
that, he smiled and nodded.

When Dana exited Skinner's office, Mulder was not waiting
in the outer office. She looked around and saw her
partner in the bullpen. He was at someone's desk, with
his back to her. And his back was ramrod straight.

Uh oh.

As Dana approached, she saw who he was talking to. Tom
Colton.

And from the volume of their voices and the looks they
were getting from others in the vicinity, they weren't
talking, they were arguing. But just as Dana got close
enough to overhear, Colton glanced at her, then told
Mulder nice and loud, "You could say that, but at least
I've never been hauled up in front of the OPC for
attempting to strangle someone in my custody."

She saw Mulder's shoulder muscles tense even more, as if
he was going to spring forward and add 'attempting to
strangle a fellow agent' to the list, but either he saw
Tom's glance or heard Dana's heels on the floor, because
her partner turned to her instead. His expression was
like a powder keg about to go off. However he restrained
himself.

And Colton immediately said, "It's good to see you back,
Dana. Did you get the flowers I sent?" His voice was
smooth and smug.

"Yes, thank you, Tom."

And I also 'get' that you're baiting Mulder, but are only
brave enough to do so when you know that I'm around to
keep him in check.

She felt like decking Colton herself. Fortunately just
then his ASAC summoned him.


END PART NINE OF ELEVEN

(10/11)

xXx

Skinner was going to book various recertification tests
for Dana, but for the moment, she and Mulder were still
on leave.

When the partners left the Hoover Building there was
still time to go back to Mulder's apartment, but neither
of them felt like doing so.

"What about the boxes in your trunk?" Dana asked.

"Should get around to them tomorrow. Or if they've been
stolen in the meantime, it doesn't really matter."
Tomorrow they would work on Mulder's apartment again, and
hopefully go shopping for the replacement items he
needed.

It had been a long day, which they weren't reaccustomed
to yet. Since they had missed having afternoon naps and
were feeling it, an early night was in the cards.

Mulder was waiting for mention of what Colton had said.
There was no way that Scully could have missed that
loudmouth's comment.

Instead, at a traffic light she brought up something
else, keeping her voice matter-of-fact. "You told Skinner
to ask me to transfer or resign."

"Yes." Mulder felt no need to act innocent or contrite.

She could understand that, even if she felt a little
angry. "Well, I am coming back."

Only a part of him wanted her out of the X-Files. He
could not deny feeling some relief when she said that she
was staying, but.... He sighed, eyes still fixed on the
road and traffic. "Scully, I still think that it would be
best if you did leave." Before she could react he hurried
on with: "And believe me, it has nothing to do with your
capabilities. It's about the costs of my quest. I didn't
tell you the risks. I should have. I'll find those
responsible."

"I knew all along. You didn't have to tell me. And you're
not responsible for what happened. I'm staying."

"But you have your pick of so many career paths. You
could do so much good in them. The X-Files isn't exactly
a career-enhancing position."

"I know where I want to be. I've made my decision. Now if
anything happens, *if* anything happens, at least you
know that you tried. No matter what."

She was right, Mulder thought. He had tried. The traffic
started to move again. He decided to broach another
subject that had been weighing heavily on him. "Scully?"

"Yes?" She saw his hesitancy. "It's okay. I won't bite."

"It's about...your living will. Um, I know that it has
your wishes in it and everything, but could I please be
taken off it as a witness?" He glanced over as she opened
her mouth but he panicked and kept talking. "I mean,
being there in the room and hearing the doctor talk about
you being below your criteria, and knowing that my
signature was on the document that was going to...."

"Pull the plug."

"Yeah. I'm sorry. I know it's selfish of me. It doesn't
matter whether I'm on it or not. It's your criteria, your
wishes. And I guess if I'm a witness I'll know for sure
that what's on the page is what you specifically want."

"Mulder, after what happened, I've been thinking of
changing my living will anyway. But not to alter the
signatories. To alter the criteria," she admitted.

"Oh."

xXx

Maggie saw how tired they were and didn't press them with
a lot of questions. The partners spent some time reading
in the sunroom, side by side, and Mulder phoned his
mother, then Maggie served an early dinner. After it, she
said there were plenty of snacks in the fridge, and
announced that she was going out to the movies with a
friend for the evening.

After seeing her off, Mulder and Dana then turned and
looked at each other.

"Why do I get the feeling that your mom went out to give
us time alone?" Mulder asked.

"Maybe she's in cahoots with the Gunmen," Dana suggested.
"Though it is good that she's having a night out. She
needs it."

Mulder looked at his partner's tired face. "And we need a
night in."

"I don't think I could go to sleep just yet - I'd be up
too early in the morning. How about we watch TV?"

The sofa bed was still out and made up. Mulder plonked
down on it. "Perfect angle to watch the screen from," he
announced, content.

"Good," Dana replied, dropping down next to him. "Because
with the bed taking up so much of the room, it's the only
place we can watch it from!" That was a slight lie, but
it allowed them to remain side by side on the bed.

Mulder channel-surfed while they tried to decide on a
show or movie. Then Dana had an idea. "I'll be back in a
minute."

He nodded and kept surfing, remembering his phone call to
his mother. Teena was glad to hear that his partner was
all right, though surprised to discover where Mulder was
staying. At the end of the conversation he promised his
mother he would visit her soon.

Still flicking, Mulder eventually landed on some cop show
or movie that he didn't recognise. A character was
standing with his hands up. A red dot was reflected on
his forehead, showing that a gunman had him dead in his
sights.

Mulder's stomach lurched. He tried to control his
breathing.

"Mulder? Are you all right?"

He couldn't help jumping a little, not having heard
Scully return. "Yeah.... Yeah." He hastily flicked to
another channel, but knew it was too late.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm sick of seeing inaccurate, badly acted cop shows?"
he suggested lamely.

"Mulder." It was her 'I am not going to let go of this
matter until you give me a satisfactory explanation'
voice.

He sighed and stared up at the ceiling. Still lying down,
he said, "There are some things I didn't tell you."

"Like what?"

"In the travel agency, when I was sent in to talk to
Barry...."

"When you traded yourself for one of the hostages?"

"Yeah. Well, after that, after he'd let everyone go
except me and his shrink, I.... There was a point where
Barry was in the sniper's line of fire. I could see the
red dot on the side of his neck. But I believed him about
his abduction and... I got him to come over to where I
was tied to the chair. I moved him away from the kill
shot."

"Mulder -"

"I thought I'd won his trust. But what the hell was I
thinking? I put the remaining hostage in jeopardy. And if
I'd let them shoot Barry when they were supposed to, you
wouldn't have been -"

"Mulder, thanks to you, the hostages were released. We
don't know for sure that Barry would have been killed if
he'd been hit that first time. When they did end up
shooting him, he was badly injured, but somehow he was
able to get up in the hospital and escape anyway. They
should have had him cuffed to the bedrails. The guard
should have been paying attention. Hell, so many things
shouldn't have happened, but did. The same with him
escaping from the mental hospital in the first place. You
can't blame yourself."

Her partner did not look convinced. Dana continued, "When
the snipers had that first kill-shot chance, that was
when you knew the place was about to be stormed anyway. I
was listening, remember, with the rest of the team. We
had visual too. Barry was holding his gun. He was facing
you. If he'd been shot then, there was the chance he
could have still been able to shoot you - either before
he collapsed or during. The gun could have gone off as he
fell, and a bullet could then have hit you or the
psychiatrist. Instead you got Barry to go to the door to
'lock it'. You got him in the sniper's sight then, facing
away from you and the shrink. That was much safer."

Mulder shook his head emphatically, sitting up. "I
mishandled that whole hostage situation. The task force
leader told me that I was feeding into his psychosis. I
went against orders."

"They put you in that situation without even telling you
that Barry used to be an FBI agent or about the injury
that changed his personality in the first place," Dana
reminded him, sitting next to him. "They could have
gotten you killed! Maybe that was the idea...." she said
slowly, startled.

Mulder blinked. He hadn't considered that option. Then he
shook his head. "It was my idea to go in."

"They knew you. They knew you'd want to, because you
thought he was an abductee. He did have those implants
and drill holes that can't be explained through current
technology. You won his trust and saved his hostages."

Mulder said, "You helped. You found me the information
about Barry's injury and his medical records since that
time."

There was a pause. Then Dana tried once again to get
through Mulder's wall of blame. "Barry is the one
responsible. Whoever put him up to it is responsible. He
could be a scapegoat - I might have been abducted
regardless. We're both a danger to them. Yes, you have a
quest. But searching for the truth and wanting to expose
the bad guys isn't just the sole responsibility of Fox
William Mulder. I chose this path and willingly continued
with it even after I could have gotten out. There were
enough chances to leave but I still decided to stay. We -
plural - had proven we were a force. If I was taken by
them, it wasn't exclusively because of you. It was as
much about me. Or they saw a window of opportunity and
took it."

He looked at her in unhappy silence.

Dana continued, "I had that implant from Barry on me, in
my pocket, on that night. As I was going home, I stopped
at a supermarket. I ran the implant over a scanner on an
impulse. The machine went crazy. Perhaps I set something
off by doing that. And don't say that I only had that
implant because you gave it to me! I offered to get it
analysed. I was just as curious as you."

Mulder was busy absorbing what she had said. "There's
something else...." he said quietly.

"You started to strangle Barry. But like with the
Cigarette Smoking Man and the men who ransacked your
apartment, you didn't go through with it."

"It was a very near thing."

"Not near enough, apparently, because you weren't kicked
out of the Bureau for it." She spoke passionately.

Her tenacity earned her a small smile from him. That was
a start.

Dana decided it was time for a subject change. There were
other things she had been determined they would discuss
tonight, or at least hoped they would. However there was
always tomorrow. They had gone over a lot of painful
ground already today and were tired. Tempers could easily
fray if they kept at it.

Small steps. But steps in the right direction. She was
slowly getting the message through to him, making
progress. She would repeat it as many times as it took.

She smiled at him in an attempt to break the mood. "Well,
I guess that's enough 'shop talk' for now. Let's have
some fun. How about we watch this?" Dana held up the
video she had gone upstairs to get.

Mulder smiled. It was 'Superstars of the Superbowl'.
"Sounds great. At least I hope it is."

"You hope? Why? You know this is great stuff."

"Yeah, but.... It's not exactly - well, it's not exactly
flowers or a stuffed bear, is it?"

"No. And that's why it's my favourite gift." Mulder
didn't really do 'ordinary', but she had come to like
'extraordinary' very much.

They lay watching the video, side by side, until Dana
couldn't stop a huge yawn.

Mulder turned the tape off. It had nearly finished
anyway. "Bedtime."

"Hmmm. I'm comfortable here."

His pulse started racing. Were they going to do a repeat
of the night before? "You're welcome to stay here...if
you like. I'll try not to hog the covers."

She nodded, curled up on her side, her eyes closed.
Mulder figured she was at least two-thirds asleep. They
were already in stocking feet and comfortable sweats that
could double as sleepwear, so there was no need to
change. He turned the TV and lights off. The bedding was
already turned down, so it wasn't much of an effort to
untuck the bedding and pull it down a little further
under Scully's form - she was still awake enough to lift
her body up a little to aid the process. Then Mulder
covered her and tucked the sheets and blankets in on her
side.

He settled in bed and lay on his back, staring at the
ceiling.

Scully's voice came to his ears, soft but strong. "This
time you can hold me, if you like."

They met in the middle of the bed, and he did.

xXx

Dana was back at the lake.

But this was different. This was not a memory. She was
not out on its waters in a boat. She was walking
alongside the lake.

There was no fog. Her life was not hanging in the
balance. It was a beautiful day, full of sunshine and
greenery.

Dana kept walking, looking around appreciatively. She
recognised this area. The dock should be just up ahead.

There was no dock. There was another wooden structure
instead. About ten feet from the lake's edge sat a bench.
A park bench.

Dana smiled at the incongruity of it, of how her
subconscious was mixing different elements of her life
into this dream. She went and sat on the bench. The
wooden planks were warm. She looked out at the view,
feeling alive.

"Is this seat taken?"

She turned and looked at Mulder and felt even more alive.
And she thanked her dream for including him.

He was standing there, smiling. Like her, he was in a
trenchcoat and business-wear.

Dana waved her hand at the space beside her, and Mulder
sat down. He looked around. "This is a beautiful place.
It feels so...."

"Special." Even the way the sunshine glinted off the
leaves was different, ethereal.

"Strange dream, though," he commented. "Our bench being
in a place like this."

It *was* their park bench. The carvings and graffiti were
very familiar to her. "It may be a strange dream, but it
has some very nice elements to it. And it's nice to be
here under better circumstances than before."

"Before?"

"I've been here before. When I was in the coma. I guess
it was some sort of near death experience."

Mulder looked alarmed. "You don't think you're back here
because -"

"No. It feels different. But still so peaceful." She
explained about her visions of being in a rowboat on the
lake. How it had been tethered to the dock. Sometimes she
could see people on the dock. Her mother, Melissa,
Mulder, hospital staff. But she could not go to them or
speak.

"There was a calmness, a peace. I could hear people
talking to me." She momentarily debated about whether to
tell him more, and decided this would be good practice
for doing so in the real world. And she felt a desire to
talk about what she had experienced - it would help her
deal with it herself, or perhaps start to process it at
least.

Mulder was looking at her encouragingly, so Dana said,
"In the hospital, there was a woman, a nurse. I could
sense and hear her looking after me at times. I even saw
her. But when I woke up properly and asked about her, the
staff told me there was no Nurse Owens at the hospital.
No one like who I remembered. Unless my memory was too
fuzzy or she was only in my dreams."

"What did she look like?"

At Dana's description, Mulder nodded. "I think I saw her
at your bedside once.... Did you tell Melissa?"

"Yes. She said Nurse Owens could have been my guardian
angel or a manifestation of my will or my psychic side.
Whatever Nurse Owens actually was or wasn't, she kept
encouraging me to live. Especially after the rope that
tied the boat to the dock broke, and I was drifting
away."

"When the respirator was turned off...." Mulder murmured.
"I'm glad you listened to her."

"But I didn't."

"What do you mean?" he asked, puzzled.

"I saw my father. Several times. He talked to me. Mulder,
do you remember how Luther Lee Boggs claimed he could
channel my father?"

Mulder nodded. Boggs had told Dana to come to his
execution and he would deliver her father's final message
before the death penalty was enacted. But she had not
gone. "So you got your father's message after all?"

"Yes." She did not know whether Boggs had really been
able to channel her late father or not, but she was glad
that Ahab's words were not been delivered via the mouth
of a serial killer.

"What did he say? If you don't mind me asking, of
course."

"My father told me how much I meant to him. That he was
proud of me. How short life was and that he was sorry he
hadn't spent more time with me. I was so glad to see him
again. I was ready to go with him."

"With him?"

"To die," Dana said simply.

Mulder's jaw dropped. "But I thought he -"

"Talked me out of it? Showed me the path back? No. I knew
that I was dying. I knew it, not just from hearing my
family saying goodbye. I could feel it. That I was below
the criteria in my living will. I hadn't wanted to live
like that. Science and logic were telling me that this
was it."

She looked at the now-speechless Mulder, then turned her
gaze back out over the lake as she continued. "I knew I
would be leaving behind the people that I loved, but I
couldn't see any way to return. I didn't mind. I felt at
peace. Mom and Missy had said goodbye - even my brothers.
Mom had managed to get them on the phone from their posts
and she either held the receiver to my ear or taped their
messages to play to me. I'm not sure which." Dana
returned her gaze to Mulder. "I was ready to die. I would
be with my father. He was waiting for me. It was time.
But then you were there and I heard your voice and I knew
I couldn't leave you. I didn't want to leave you."

His expression was stunned. "You chose me...."

"Yes. Over my father. Over everything." She thought for a
moment. "Choosing to live wasn't really the choice I
made, or even a conscious choice. I chose *you*. You were
on one side and I was on the other. I heard your voice
telling me that it was not my time. You weren't saying
goodbye."

"I couldn't...."

"I realised I couldn't either. Neither you nor Nurse
Owens had said goodbye. She said that it wasn't my time,
but I didn't believe her. I believed you. You said I had
the strength of my beliefs. Your hand was holding mine
and there was a way back. Or at least the strength to try
coming back. Our strength. It wasn't easy, but I had to
reach you. And somehow I did."

After imparting this news, Dana thought that if this
wasn't a dream, she would be giving Mulder CPR around
about now, because he didn't appear to be breathing. He
just sat there and stared at her in wonderment. Happiness
was hovering there, as if he wanted to break into a grin
but was unsure if he'd heard her correctly.

She decided to make things even more clear. "I love you,
Mulder. And I want to tell you that so much in the real
world, but I don't know how you'll react. Or how you
feel. And there's our friendship and partnership to
consider."

Mulder stared at her. He looked ecstatic, then appeared
to register something else she had said. "You don't know
how I feel about you?"

"I know you do have feelings for me, but...." She
hesitated, then blurted out, "Do you think of me like a
sister?"

This time Mulder did grin. "If I felt like this towards
Samantha, I'd have to be locked up!" He sobered. "I've
never felt this way before... never thought I could."
Then he took a deep breath. "But Scully, you deserve
better. I'm too self-centred and selfish."

"You've spent years working and sacrificing so many
aspects of your life - not for yourself, but for your
sister. To try to find her. I don't call that selfish,"
Dana pointed out. "And when I was taken, you did the same
for me. Don't try to deny it. I've spoken to Mom, Melissa
and Skinner. From what Skinner told me, you put yourself
in danger to try to get to me. And we've gone over the
'my quest caused this' argument."

"But I'm -"

"No one is perfect. I've got my fair share of flaws. I
was so skeptical and closed off - both to possibilities
and people. But you opened me up. You're still doing
that. And if there is one thing that you definitely
deserve, Mulder, it is to be loved. The love between us
brought me back."

At last she could see acceptance and belief in his eyes.

They stared at each other in happiness and wonder. The
air around them seemed even more alive, full of light,
and Dana could feel their love, their connection, running
between them. Then at the same moment they reached out
and embraced.

"I wish this wasn't a dream," Dana whispered.

xXx

Dana woke up. After a few seconds of fumbling, she
managed to turn on the lamp next to her side of the bed.

What am I doing? I've probably woken Mulder up now! I
should have just....

She turned. Mulder was half-sitting up in the sofa bed,
regarding her in between blinking at the light.

"Sorry," she apologised.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I just had a dream. It wasn't a nightmare," she
hastened to add in case he got worried. "It was just the
most vivid dream...."

"I had a very vivid dream too," he revealed, looking at
her intently. "Question is - was it the same one?"

"The same? Mulder, people can't have shared dreams!" As
much as she would have liked that one to have been.

"Okay then." Without further ado, Mulder got out of bed
and headed for the hallway.

"Where are you going? You'll freeze! Look, I'm sorry, I
just -"

He returned from the hallway with two pens and the
message pad that usually sat beside the phone. He climbed
back under the covers and handed her a pen and the pad,
after removing a few pages for himself. "Write down a
description of where you were in the dream and I'll do
the same. As much detail of your surroundings as you can
think of."

They did so. Dana looked at Mulder, feeling nervous.
Although there was no way they could have.... "Now we
swap?" she asked.

"No. Write down who you saw or were with. Then we swap."

They did so. Dana and Mulder read each other's page in
silence, then looked up. They had both depicted the
otherwordly lake, right down to the bench. And each
other's presence.

Mulder nodded, not the least surprised. A light was
glowing and growing in his eyes that had nothing to do
with the lamplight. "Location and company match. Now all
that's left is the conversation."

Dana stayed silent, awed and somewhat frightened. She had
said so much at the lake that now she was lost for words.

Mulder was the one who pressed on. "We talked. We talked
about our feelings. We said things that we wouldn't have
said out loud, because we thought we were dreaming."

"And now we're awake...." Dana said. There was a long
pause.

Dana remembered what her father had said to her in one of
his visitations when she lay dying. About how life and
time went by too fast. She had a second chance at life
and did not want to waste it.

And she knew now that Mulder did not feel for her the way
a brother did towards his sister.

Decision made, Dana looked at Mulder, who was sitting
quietly, just watching her. Waiting. She said, "No matter
what happens from this point on... I did mean everything
I said." No more denial. Not when it came to this.

They met in the middle of the bed again, this time for a
hold that was not in the least tentative, because both
knew at last what the other felt.


END PART TEN OF ELEVEN

(11/11)

xXx

The rest of the weekdays passed, in which Dana and Mulder
kept staying at Maggie's, going out each day on
progressively longer 'walk 'n' talks' together and
expeditions. They were steadily recovering. They also
cleaned up Mulder's apartment, replacing what was needed,
and visited Dana's apartment. And they enjoyed being
together, which included nights in the same bed and a
much-reduced nightmare quotient on Mulder's part.

Mulder told Dana that since their shared dream, in the
times when he started to have self-blame thoughts about
her abduction, a voice in his head would refute those
thoughts.

"You're hearing voices, Mulder?" she teased.

"No matter what I think, it has an answer. And it sounds
like your voice!"

"Well, I hope you're listening to it."

"I am," he said honestly. His mind was playing the 'blame
game' less each day.

Dana was happy to hear that. He was learning and healing.

She had her doctor's appointment, a recommended check up,
and all was well. No more flashbacks or memories
surfaced.

When they went to the Hoover Building for Mulder's
meeting with Skinner, Dana insisted they go early and in
Mulder's car, so that: "We can take all those boxes from
your trunk and put the contents back where they came
from. Where they belong." He agreed, and they did,
refilling the basement office with its paranormal clutter
- what Dana dubbed its 'Mulder stamp'.

xXx

Saturday night was the first time that Dana was staying
overnight in her apartment since her abduction. She was
going to look for another apartment, but believed she
would be okay for the time being. She did feel some
nostalgia for the place, but she was at heart a practical
person.

She was going to start her recertification tests on
Monday, the same day that Mulder was going back to work.
Normally such a long, enforced period of time off would
have had Mulder climbing the walls, but after a bumpy
start, it had been just what he needed. And had paid off
beyond his wildest dreams.

Dana cooked Mulder a meal, which they ate at her kitchen
table. Afterwards they chatted for a while, becoming more
hesitant the more time passed.

Mulder shuffled his feet. "So, I guess I'd better let you
have some time, get settled."

"Yeah. Thanks."

"Thanks for the meal."

"Not a problem. If you need anything -"

Mulder nodded and said, "I'll phone you. As long as you
promise to do the same. No matter what time it is."

"Deal."

Dana escorted Mulder to her door. Both felt awkward and
very aware that this would be their first night without
each other.

It was on the tip of Dana's tongue to ask him to stay.
Whether in her bed or out on her sofa bed.

But how? And should she? Was he holding back from asking,
waiting instead for her to extend the invitation? They
were both still adjusting to having admitted their
feelings.

Then the TV caught her eye. "Hey, look, Mulder. 'Plan 9
From Outer Space' is starting. Didn't you once tell me
you've seen the movie about fifteen times and can quote
all the dialogue?"

"I did. I can."

"I don't believe you."

"I'll prove it."

He did. They woke up at two in the morning, in each
other's arms, somewhat cramped from the lack of space on
the sofa. The TV was still on.

Mulder stretched and winced. "Sorry. I can go or sleep
out here if you like."

"Come to bed."

He gave her a look. Dana smiled. "We'll be much more
comfortable."

They had not yet gone beyond a certain point. In private
they held hands at times and there had been a few kisses
on the forehead and cheek. They knew how each other felt,
but were feeling their way forward and would have to
adapt to getting back to work. They also had to sort out
how Mulder's quest would affect having an actual
relationship. Although, as Dana had told him, it was
their quest.

Dana's invitation was not asking him to go beyond their
established boundaries. Not yet.

And compared to their once-rare moments of touching,
being able to hug and hold were very intimate in
themselves.

xXx

The next Friday, Dana needed to do some late night
shopping, getting ready for Christmas, and Mulder
accompanied her. When they returned to her car in the
department store's multi-level parking lot, a figure
stepped out of the nearby shadows.

X.

Mulder immediately placed himself between the man and his
partner. "What do you want?"

"Greetings, agents," X said impassively. His eyes darted
around, checking their surroundings.

Dana recognised the man from the description Mulder had
given her once. She stepped up beside her partner, giving
both men a hard look. She could understand Mulder's
reaction, but she had to show him she wasn't going to be
wrapped in cotton.

"So, you're Mulder's informant. To what do we owe the
pleasure?" Dana asked. She could feel Mulder remain tense
beside her.

X addressed her partner. "A warning. I gave you what you
wanted, Agent Mulder. The men who took Agent Scully.
Imagine my surprise when I found out that you didn't
carry through. I don't appreciate going to such lengths
and risks to have nothing come of it. Remember that the
next time you have such a big request."

Mulder glared at him. "You only 'gave' me those men
because it somehow suited your purposes. Nothing more,
nothing less. I'm not doing your dirty work. I realised -
with some help - where my priorities really should be."

X shook his head, but then gave Dana a surprisingly
cordial-enough look. "Congratulations on your recovery."

She studied him closely. "Were you and your cronies
surprised?"

"Agent Scully, when you were taken, the cigarette smoker
gave specific instructions that you were not to be
tampered with in any way. You were simply to be kept in a
special liquid that put you in a state of hibernation
while they waited and saw what effect your absence had."

Dana looked at him, startled. That matched the few
possible flashbacks she had experienced since her release
from the hospital.

"I call the state she was returned in 'tampering',"
Mulder said hotly. He went to move forward, into X's
face, but Dana stopped him with a hand to his arm. So
Mulder continued verbally instead of physically, "Or was
that set up to manipulate me? To remove her from the
'game' because she was on my side?"

X ignored Mulder and talked to Dana instead. "Because of
the smoker's edict, I thought you would be safe.
Unfortunately you developed an adverse reaction. It seems
that a new nutritional liquid combined with the solution
caused it. You were removed from the solution and kept
sedated, but the scientists could not reverse the
effects." X regarded Dana. "In fact, your condition
deteriorated and they were at a loss to come up with an
answer. Or a cure. The cigarette smoker was furious, but
decided that some gain could be made from the situation -
a final breaking of Mulder's spirit. You were returned to
him. You were dying. No one knows how you survived." The
informant actually looked impressed.

Dana glared at him. "I wouldn't dream of giving your
bosses the satisfaction of doing what they expected."

X's mouth tightened in what could have been a slight
grin. "Wouldn't spy, then wouldn't die."

"Why tell us all this now?" Mulder asked. "We met after
Scully was taken, then again when she was in the coma,
and you wouldn't give me anything to go on."

"When Agent Scully was in the hospital, I thought she was
going to die, just like everyone else did, so there was
nothing to give you to go on. Apart from the men who took
her, which I did as soon as it was safe for me to do so
without compromising myself. And look how that turned
out," X said with a sharp edge to his voice. "As for
during her abduction, as I said, I thought she would be
safe. The plan was to return her at some point. It was a
matter of timing. I was one of only a few people who knew
where she was. If I gave her back to you during that time
or gave you the information to try to get her, it could
be traced back to me. But now that is no longer an issue.
"

Then X melted back into the shadows, before either agent
could ask any of the other big questions on their minds.

Apart from an oblique mention about seeing what effect
her absence had, X hadn't told them exactly why Scully
had been taken.

What happened now? And was another abduction on the cards
if they kept digging for the truth?

xXx

After long and honest talks with each other about where
to go from here and the possible consequences, the agents
made their choice. Determined not to let the shadow men
beat them, Mulder and Dana soon had their first case back
together as field agents on the X-Files. A mansion that
had a history of being haunted turned out to have a real
flesh and blood killer in residence.

The partners made sure they were very professional, and
were successful in that regard. One thing that did stay
the same was Mulder's penchant for getting injured. By
the end of the case, he needed stitches for a gash on his
leg and had a slight, temporary limp. But better a slash
on his leg than one across his throat....

Two days later was Saturday. That morning, Dana looked at
her watch and knocked on Mulder's apartment door. She was
right on time. They were going out for lunch, then on to
visit Maggie.

"Hey," Mulder said happily, opening the door and coming
out, still limping a little.

"Hey there. How's the leg?"

"Annoying," Mulder muttered, his expression darkening
within the space of a second.

"You're lucky there was no arterial damage. You'll be
jogging again in no time." He doubled the dark look and
locked the door, then they went down the hallway. Dana
matched her pace to how fast he could go. She said, "I
thought we could try a place that Melissa recommended to
us. It's in -"

"Actually, I've got someplace I'd like us to go," Mulder
interrupted.

"Oh. Where is it?"

"You'll see."

"I'd better, since I'm the one driving us," she said with
a smile.

With Mulder's directions, she found herself in a very
nice part of Silver Spring. "Mulder, where are you taking
me?"

"Trust me, Scully. Take a left here."

They ended up in a leafy, quiet-looking neighbourhood.
"There's a restaurant around here?"

"Did I say I was taking you to a restaurant?" Before she
could reply, he said, "Pull up behind that blue Ford on
the right. We're here."

'Here' was a suburban house. A rather lovely looking
house.

"Are we meeting an informant? Is this a case? Mulder,
tell me what you're up to, now."

"No need to be so suspicious. All our walks and talks
about houses must have rubbed off on me. I heard about
this one via a friend and thought it was worth checking
out. So I've got the keys - let's go have a look."

"But -"

"Hold the questions. Just have a look at the place first,
then ask."

Reluctantly, Dana obliged, though she was wondering how
Mulder had the keys of a house without the real estate
agent or owner hovering around as they went through the
place. But Mulder had said a friend had let him know
about it, so perhaps that was how. She couldn't wait to
ask which friend.

The house was set on a very large wooded lot. She wasn't
an expert in architecture, but thought that the house had
the look of a place built some time in the 1920's or
30's. She wasn't sure which. The style was simple and
homey. There was a wide front porch that was begging for
an old fashioned porch swing. Speaking of swings, there
was a tire hanging from a thick rope attached to one of
the huge old trees that stood in the front yard.

Once inside the house, Dana found herself loving what she
saw. The hardwood floors were well maintained. The living
room had a unique stone fireplace. The kitchen was old-
fashioned, but in a delightful way, with glass doored
cabinets that were as well-maintained as the floors. The
appliances however, were a hideous gold, including the
stove and fridge. Real 1970s, just the colour her mother
had always longed for but had never gotten in Navy
housing. Dana found herself thinking that a trip to Sears
with a credit card would easily fix the appliance
problem.

There were three bedrooms upstairs and she was delighted
to see that the large master bedroom also had a wood-
burning fireplace.

It was a lovely house. A real home. Easy to love.

The partners then did a tour of the yard. "The owners
weren't big gardeners, so this is pretty low maintenance.
The house is close to a good shopping area too," Mulder
said, as if he were in real estate mode. "It's very
accessible to the metro Red Line and on the border of
D.C., so it's not a bad commute. And Rock Creek Park
isn't far away."

Somehow Dana managed to hold her questions until the end
of their circuit. Despite this not being the type of
house she had wanted, she was finding herself picturing
bird feeders and picnics outdoors, and what furniture
would look good in each room. When they went back inside
the house, they stood in the hallway and she asked, "So
the owners want to rent it out?"

"No, they're selling it."

"Selling?" Then why on earth had he...?

"Don't you like it?" Mulder asked.

"It's lovely - but...." She sighed. "I wish you hadn't
brought me here or shown it to me."

"Why? I know this wasn't precisely what you had in mind
when we were discussing your dream home, but it has a lot
going for it. And I know it isn't in Georgetown, but
there are advantages because of that. A place like this
in Georgetown would be extremely expensive. I think that
in a few years Silver Spring is going to gentrify in a
big way, Scully. Whoever owns this place will be sitting
on a gold mine. So it would be a great starter home if
you then wanted to move on to something else in the
future." He was now speaking in somewhat of a rush.

Dana admitted, "It isn't exactly what I'd pictured in my
head as what I wanted, but after looking through it.... I
do love this house. It *is* perfect. Apart from that
'groovy' gold stove, of course!" She chuckled. Then she
hesitated. "Mulder, I know you mean well, but I've got a
good idea of what this place would be worth and I can't
afford it, even though it isn't in Georgetown. That's why
I haven't looked for a house. Best to keep it abstract -
my perfect dream home in my head. For when...." For the
future, however far off it would be. Family, pets....

"I found out about this house through Danny Valodella."
Mulder said.

Dana blinked. "Danny, the agent who was always doing us
favours?"

"Providing he got Redskin tickets off me in return for
the real rush jobs, yeah," Mulder said with some irony.
"This is his parents' house. His mom got arthritis pretty
bad and they moved to Florida. They've been reluctant to
list the house with a real estate agent. They want
someone who will love it as much as they did, but Danny
is strictly a high rise condo kind of guy and he doesn't
want it. No one else in the family is close enough,
geographically-speaking, to want it either. The price is
good. Without the real estate agent commission added onto
the price, the cost is even lower, Scully." There was a
brief pause. "We could afford it," he said quietly.
Earnestly.

"We?"

"Us. Together."

"As in... housemates, as in living together?"

"As husband and wife."

She gaped at him. "Married?"

He gave a wry grin. "I'm afraid I've literally ruined my
chances of getting down on one leg to ask - that's not
really my style anyway - but will you marry me, Scully?"

"Marry?" she reiterated in shock, still not sure if she
was hearing things.

"If there's something I've learned from the last months,
it is that life is very short. I know what I want out of
life. Some things I can't have yet, like Samantha, but
I'll keep trying. Other things, well... hopefully I can
have them. I don't want to be without you anymore. I -"

He was cut off as Dana lunged forward and affixed herself
to his torso like an amoeba. The wind was knocked out of
him and his leg protested, but she let out a yell of
"Yes!" and that was all that mattered.

After having a nice long celebratory kiss, they stood
holding, looking at each other happily. Dana was still
half in shock.

Mulder said, "Okay, so we've got the house - or hopefully
will have. I'll finally get to put my trust fund money to
good use. So what say we phone up Danny with any
questions we have and then go shop for a ring?"

"Mulder, this house is definitely what I want, but what
about you?"

"You're what I want."

"Yes," she said with amused patience, "but you're going
to have to live in the house too!"

He shrugged. "I've never really cared much about where I
live, as long as I had a roof over my head and a TV with
sports and a couch and that it's close to work. But after
staying at your mother's, I kept thinking about the walks
that you and I went on, the houses we were talking about.
And the idea of living with you in one of them just felt
so... right. Very appealing, actually! So I started
asking around amongst friends and acquaintances that I
could trust and real estate agents."

"You found or knew of some real estate agents that you
could trust?" she asked in mock surprise.

He grinned and said, "Well, as it turns out, this house
came my way via Danny, so that avoids that problem. I do
like this place. As Melissa might say, it has good vibes.
And if you're in it, I'm sure I'll like it even more.
Especially romantic nights in front of one of those
fireplaces."

To his delight, she matched his large grin with one of
her own. She said, "Yes, I think we could get quite a
fire burning." Then she became serious again and looked
out the window at the yard.

"We could hire a lawn and garden service to take care of
the garden and leaves," Mulder said.

She nodded thoughtfully. "Buying a house is still a big
step though. Let's drive around the area and see what
it's like. And we have to figure out what to do about
work."

Mulder grinned and shrugged. "Mere details."

She rolled her eyes. That was her partner.

"Scully, after what we've already been through, buying a
house and dealing with Skinner are cakewalks. And not
half as nerve-racking. Okay, let's go sightsee. Scope out
the area."

"You don't want to head back to my place and consummate
our engagement?" she asked leadingly.

He looked mock-affronted. "Here I am, trying not to
succumb to the pleasures of the flesh, and here you are -
"

"I'm engaged. I believe I'm entitled to sample the
wares."

"Slightly damaged though they may be."

"The stitches are on your calf, not near the 'business
end'."

"Oh, the hardware. You are correct."

Bantering like that, they got in the car and decided to
have a look around first since they were in the area.
They also needed to get some lunch so that Mulder didn't
pass out from malnutrition when they were really getting
down to business. They drove around and came up with some
questions for the house's owners.

Mulder then phoned Danny and told him that they were
interested, but wanted to have another look through the
house the next day and talk to his parents before making
a final decision. That was fine with Danny, who didn't
know the answers to all of their questions. He gave
Mulder the phone number of his parents in Florida (and
also some good-natured ribbing about the two agents
buying a house together). Mulder said he and Scully would
contact Danny's parents on Sunday night, after the next
look-though.

Then the partners had their belated lunch - not in a
restaurant, but some sandwiches from a shop.

They sat in the car to eat. Mulder watched Scully. He was
so glad that she was here, alive and happy with him. Ever
since their shared dream and shared admission of love,
everything had changed in his world. For the better. He
had changed along with it.

And when he found out about that house and heard Danny's
description of it, he knew it was fate. And he knew what
he wanted to do.

"Mulder, you really know how to take a girl by surprise,"
Dana said.

"You told me what your father said to you about how fast
life is and then suddenly it is gone and in that last
instant you realise what really matters. Melissa told me
basically the same on the night that the doctor said you
could die at any time. She told me to express my
feelings. Your sister is good at chewing a person out,
just like you. I didn't want to wait for that last
instant again."

"I'm glad you didn't."

Mulder also thought of the tale Skinner had told him of
his near-death experience in the jungles of Vietnam.
Their boss had said, "I'm afraid to look beyond that
experience. You are not." Mulder was taking those words
to heart - and not just in the league of the paranormal.

Knowing that Scully loved him allowed him to look past
the fear and uncertainty and hesitation. And to act.

"Scully, finding Sam is still very important to me,
but... she's no longer the most important person in my
world now. I want to find a balance. I want our
relationship to work."

"We'll keep looking for Samantha. Together," Dana told
him.

After eating, they stopped at a jewelers in the same set
of shops, but Dana was distracted. She held up her hand,
looking at a ring she was trying on. "I don't know...."

Mulder scrutinised it. "I know it doesn't fit you, but
they can alter it easily enough. Dana? Hey, what's the
matter?"

"I really don't feel like trying rings on at the moment.
I'd rather try something else on for size...." She gave
him a significant look.

"Let's go."

Luckily Dana remembered to take the ring off before they
raced out.

But as they were hurrying to the car - or at least going
as fast as Mulder could manage with his leg - Dana's cell
phone rang. It was her mother. Dana looked at her watch.
"Oh Mom, I'm so sorry! We lost track of the time!
Everything's fine." A brief pause. "Melissa's there too?
We - we were just...."

She gave Mulder a 'what are we going to do' look. He
smiled and nodded.

"We'll be at your place soon, Mom."

When Dana hung up the phone, she looked at Mulder in
rueful amusement. "Well, that's that. For now."

"It'll be great to tell Melissa and your Mom the news."

"Our mom. I can't wait to see her face."

"Melissa probably already knows," he said.

"And after that, when we're at my place and alone...."

Mulder was humming 'Tonight, Tonight' as they drove off.

xXx

Maggie was almost as ecstatic at the news as Dana had
been. "Putting you two in bed together really did pay
off!" she said teasingly, then laughed all the more at
their expressions. "It's wonderful to see you both so
happy." Then her tears started.

She wiped at her eyes. "Your father would be so happy
too."

"He is. I know he is," Dana answered. Melissa gave her an
approving look.

Mulder whispered to Dana, "Your big brother won't be
happy."

Dana gave him a look. "Like I care?" She had dealt with
Bill more extensively on the phone in the last few weeks,
telling him it was her choice to go back to work with
Mulder. Her brother was not pleased, but seemed to
finally have enough sense to know that arguing would not
get him anywhere.

Mulder smiled and his thoughts turned to Dana's father.
He looked over at a framed photo of Bill Senior and
Maggie. He noticed the background and pointed at the
photo. "Was that taken at the Naval Academy in
Annapolis?"

Dana nodded. "Dad was a midshipman there. It was one of
his favourite postings and he liked to revisit when he
had the chance. It has a beautiful chapel - a domed
building."

"That's right. I was there once. A great place to get
married."

Dana looked at him, startled. He could see that she
honestly hadn't thought about that when mentioning the
chapel, just simply telling him a memory instead of
dropping a hint. But now that he had suggested it....

"It is. It would be perfect. I'd love - but, do you -? I
mean, do you mind getting married in a church?" she
asked, realising she was babbling a bit.

"I'd get married naked in the middle of M Street as long
as it was to you."

Maggie burst out laughing. "You have such a way with
words, Fox."

"Not to mention with images!" Melissa commented.

Mulder smiled charmingly, then got more serious. "And if
we got married there, it would be close to your father in
a way."

"Deal," Dana replied, choking up.

xXx

A few hours later, at Dana's apartment, the partners were
alone at last....

She led him towards her bedroom. "If your voice is
capable of bringing me back from the dead, I can't wait
to see what your kisses will do...."

"Neither can I." He loved the sounds she made as his
fingers trailed sensuously down her still-dressed form.

They were kissing and tugging at various items of
clothing - at the untuck stage, not the rip-and-buttons-
flying stage. Not yet, anyway.

Dana looked at him sultrily. "I've undressed you when
you've been sick, injured and exhausted. I'm looking
forward to this time."

"Since I slept through three women stripping me, I'd like
to be awake while the one woman I really want to do the
job gets to it!" Mulder replied with feeling.

Well, there was one injury, Dana reminded herself, but it
could be 'worked around'. She set about doing precisely
that. At last she could look at his body with a lover's
eyes, instead of clinically. She could touch him, really
touch.

There was a lovely and thoroughly distracting detour on
the way to complete removal of his clothes, because
Mulder had the urge to become properly acquainted with
his partner's chest, seeing as he had lain against it so
much during those nights of material-bound contact.
Introductions were duly and delightfully made.

After that extremely pleasant interlude, Dana got to
continue strip-mode on Mulder. It wasn't long before her
task was complete and she had complete cause to remark:
"Now THAT'S paranormal." She had seen that sight during
the times of having to 'professionally' taking off his
clothes and the accidental just-out-of-the-shower
stumbles, for example, but it certainly took on a whole
new dimension when 'charged with desire', as the romance
novels would put it.

Dana nearly laughed at the thought. When he was kissing
her, she felt like she wouldn't be able to get enough of
him. Now she was about to get *plenty* of him.

Soon she was looking down at him lovingly, their pleasure
verbalised in regular gasps with the movements they made
together. Their hands were joined like their bodies and
souls, fingers entwined.

xXx

Mulder had thought that those mornings of waking up in
Scully's arms were perfection. They were.

So what was an improvement on perfection?

Because he wasn't sure exactly what the time was - and he
was lying here with her. This time they were lying skin
to skin. Their first time, but not their last. Naked and
blissful.

He watched his partner raise her head from his chest and
smile at him. She was radiating happiness. Literally - he
could feel it coming off her in waves.

"What are you thinking?" she asked, reaching to run her
hand through his hair.

"Apart from how incredible that was? I'm trying to
describe it, define it. But I don't think I can....
'Ultra-perfection'?" he hazarded, as he stroked the
length of her back.

She laughed, then said seriously, "It doesn't matter what
we call it. We're in it."

"You're right." With that, he drew her into a deep kiss
and they set off further into their perfection.


THE END (PART ELEVEN OF ELEVEN).


Author's notes:

This story originally started out as two pages in 1995 -
scenes of Dana staying at her mother's while recovering,
then deciding to visit Mulder, going there alone, and
finding him asleep in his apartment. Those two scenes
remained unfinished until 2001, when I decided to revisit
them. And expand a little <G>. Two or so years after that
point, here it is at last!

The use of 'Dana' throughout the story instead of
'Scully' was deliberate. It just seemed to suit the
situation, of her being at her mother's and the
circumstances as I was writing it.

Thanks for reading!