From: "Natalie Parsons" Date: Sat, 12 Jun 1999 23:18:04 -0400 Subject: Story Submission Date: May 12, 1999 Category: M/S Romance Summary: Not telling! It'll ruin the story! Disclaimer: Fox Mulder and Dana Scully belong to Chris Carter, 1013 productions, Fox Broadcasting company, and all the rest of that stuff. The song "Do What You Have to Do" belongs to Sarah McLachlan and is on the Surfacing cd. Everything else belongs to me!!! Author's note: This is my third posted attempt at fanfic. Yet another songfic! My other two are "Forever in My Heart", and "If Only To Say I Love You". Read them if you like! ("If Only" is the best, I think.) Please go lightly on the flames, as I don't plan on having a bonfire anytime soon! Good comments are welcome by the truckload! E-mail: the_end_1121@yahoo.com Leaving By: The End Dana Scully sat on her couch, feeling as if she had just been slapped in the face. Her mouth hung open and her eyes were red-rimmed, filling with tears. She was hunched over, her arms wrapped around her stomach. Fox Mulder, her partner, stood next to the door to the living room, looking at her with sad eyes, his hands shaking. Scully's mind twisted and turned, trying to take in what her partner had just told her. He was leaving. For good. He was leaving? "Mulder, I-I just don't understand..." her voice was shaking, a lump had formed in her throat. "You're leaving? What does that mean?" Mulder walked into the living room and sat on the couch next to Scully, not touching her. "It means what it means. I'm leaving. And I'm not coming back," he choked out, the lump in his throat bigger than hers. He had been working out how to tell her this for weeks now, and now that it was happening, he wished he had waited a little longer. Her knowing that he was leaving just made it seem real to him, like if he hadn't told her, he wouldn't actually have to leave. "Wh- why?" Scully looked at him, a tear slipped down her cheek. "Scully. I just told you. Please understand," he said, wiping the tear from her face with his thumb. "I don't understand, Mulder. Tell me again." "It's too dangerous for me to stay, Scully. Our work has gone too far. I'm, too close to the Truth. THEY know, Scully. And they're going to do anything they can to stop us. And to me, that means taking you. They know that's the only way I'll give this up." "But, they've always known, Mulder. There have been times before this, lots of times, when we've been close to the truth. And I'm still here, Mulder," Scully managed to choke out between sobs. Mulder put an arm around her shoulder. "But we're closer than ever, Scully. Those times before, they made sure I paid. They took you away, Scully, and when they couldn't take you away, they took the X-Files away. And when they couldn't do that, they made you sick, and made me think that you were going away again. I can't do this anymore, Scully. I can't take it. I can't stand by and watch you suffer for my work. You've lost too much, I've lost too much. And I can't lose you...it's easier to just leave before they take you from me." Mulder searched her eyes, hoping to see some sign of understanding. All he saw was pain, hurt, and fear. "Well I'll go with you, Mulder. They won't be able to find us. Then they can't take us away from each other." Scully's tears were falling freely down her face now. She couldn't lose her best friend, the man she loved. She hadn't even told him that yet. She couldn't let him leave. "No, Scully. I want to continue my work. I just can't have you there to get hurt again." He pulled Scully into his arms, hugging her tight. "I can't see you get hurt again. I won't be able to handle it." "Mulder-" Scully sobbed into his shoulder, burying herself in his arms. "Mulder, don't go. I won't get hurt again. You can't leave." Her tears were soaking through his t-shirt, burning his skin. "I have to, Scully," Mulder said, pulling away from her and looking at her with red eyes. "It's what's best for you." "No, it's not," Scully said, her voice breaking. "I don't want you to leave. I want you to stay here." "I can't Scully," he said, getting up. He walked over to the door. She got up and ran after him. "You can't leave," she said again. "You can't leave me here all alone." "I have to." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a bag. "Here, take this." "What is it?" she asked, taking the package. "Just something I wanted you to have," he opened the door and turned back. "Scully?" "Yeah?" she choked. "I need you to know something before I go," he said. She nodded. "I-I love you." Scully choked on a breath, her eyes crinkling shut, forcing a river of tears down her face. She threw herself into his arms. "I love you, too," she whispered. He pulled away and looked down at her, filing her face away so he could remember her. He ducked his head and gave her a kiss on the mouth, short and sweet, full of meaning. Then before she opened her eyes, he turned and left, closing the door behind him. Scully fell against it, catching herself with her arms before sinking to the floor. She pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. He was gone. She'd never see him again. He had said he loved her......why now? When he was leaving for good? Her head ached with this new feeling, a sudden feeling of loneliness. Her face was red, and tears were still falling from her eyes. This had to be a dream. A terrible nightmare. But she knew that it wasn't. That this was real, and that tomorrow she'd go to work and Mulder wouldn't be there. Ever again. After a few minutes, Scully remembered the package Mulder had given to her. She looked at it, sitting in her hands. What was it? She slowly opened it up. It was a cassette tape. And it was wrapped with a piece of paper-a note. Dana, I'm so sorry I had to leave. Please understand it's what's best. I don't want to see you get hurt again. I can't stand the pain of leaving you-I didn't think I'd ever have to do it. But it's better than the pain of seeing you hurt, that I can't bear. I don't know how to leave you, but I have to. I'll always remember you. I love you. Forever yours, Mulder. P.S. Play this tape on side A. This is what I'm feeling now. Scully took the tape out of it's case and put it in her stereo. A few seconds later, Sarah McLachlan's haunting voice filled the room. When Scully realized what song it was, her eyes filled with tears again. "Oh, God," she said to herself. Scully loved this song. It had so much meaning. Was rage what Mulder was feeling? Towards the consortium? . Mulder? Did Mulder think that he was her monster, created by the dark forces of the men behind this path? The ones who had taken everything from her? Her sister? Her child? And now him? Was it actually fate that had brought them this far, only to be torn apart again? Was this what Mulder was feeling? Was he afraid of getting too close to her and the losing her? It must be, she thought to herself. This song....this song described to her Mulder's mind. He should have been singing it to her. Then he would still be here.... Mulder knew that he couldn't be with her, if she was to be safe. How was she supposed to be safe without him? And I have the sense to recognize that I don't know how to let you go.... I don't know how to let you go....> Scully lid down on the couch, closing her eyes. "Mulder," she whispered into the darkness. "I didn't want you to go......Mulder....." She uttered before she fell asleep. The last few strains of the song echoed through the room: So....did you like? Death to Diana! "There are few personal problems that can't be handled with high explosives..." "I'm not completely insane, maybe just a little bit crazy..." -Alana Davis "An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys..." "Never knock on Death's door: ring the doorbell and run. (He really hates that.)" "You can't hold a man down without staying down with him." -B.T. Washington "Commandment number one of any truly civilized society is this: Let people be different." -David Grayson "Friends help you move.....real friends help you move bodies...." *LOL* Ciaopello!