From: "Erin M. Blair" Date: Wed, 19 Aug 1998 15:36:05 -0700 Subject: REVISED: Leaving My Love 1/1 by Erin M. Blair Title: Leaving My Love Author: Erin M. Blair E-Mail: eblair@sonic.net Classification: VRA--Vignette, Romance, Angst Content: Mulder/Scully Romance. Scully POV. Spoiler: X-Files Fight The Future Movie. Small spoilers for: The End, Duane Barry, One Breath. Rating: PG. Archive: Anywhere, especially Gossamer and any MSR archive. Please let me know where the story is going so I can visit it. =) Please forward to ATXC and to Gossamer. Disclaimer: The characters of Fox Mulder and Dana Scully aren't mine as they belong to Chris Carter, 1013 Productions, and the FOX network. No infringement is intended. Author's Note: This is the revised version with corrections on my grammar. This is a standalone vignette regarding Scully's thoughts on leaving Mulder and the FBI. After seeing the movie for my ninth time at the movie theater, I thought that I would write this story. Don't worry, this is not my last movie fan fiction as I wrote notes for future fan fiction and I also have the novelization of the movie for reference. =) This story is *not* part of any series. Dedication: To Gillian Anderson, who brings the role of Dana Scully to life. And to Kim and Ingrid, who gave me support. Thanks! =) Thanks to Amy F. for beta testing this vignette. Summary: Scully reflects after the OPR meeting, and her conversation with Mulder. Missing Scene. ------------------------------------------------- LEAVING MY LOVE Written by: Erin M. Blair ------------------------------------------------- I watched Mulder walk into in the Office of Professional Review with sorrowful eyes. This can't be the end of our partnership. Our quest. I thought that after the fire in the basement, things would go back to normal. I was wrong. We were both wrong. We thought that they couldn't get to us anymore. They still can. I know that I told Mulder that it wasn't them who where behind this. I didn't want to sound paranoid. But I am. They want to split us up. They want to divide us. When I had heard this, the one thing I thought about was Mulder. I remember thinking how much I can't leave him. I remember the last time the X-Files was shut down. It was the worst time in my whole life. I know how much pain Mulder went through because his domain was shut down, and, in addition, he was separated from me. I thought that I could go on without Mulder, but I was so wrong. It wasn't until I was abducted by Duane Barry, and was taken to *them*, that I realized how much I loved and needed Mulder. What I said to him in the hospital after I woke up from the coma was true; I had the strength of his beliefs. He was the one reason why I came back. They thought that they could break us. They were wrong. We came out of that experience stronger than ever. We are strong. I had known that for a long time, and I know that we can beat anything that comes in our way. Somehow, I wish that I could tell him how I really feel towards him. I wish that I could tell him how much I love him, but I am scared. I know that I shouldn't be scared to tell him how I feel. I can't let them divide us. I won't let it happen. If I leave him, who will protect him? Who will help him find the truth? Who will....? Don't go there, Dana. You know he loves you; you could see it his eyes. I can't leave him. If I quit, I can still be with him, although in an unofficial capicity. I know that he will be upset with me... No, Dana, he will be more than upset, he will think that you are abandoning him. I walked away from the Office of Professional Review, thinking of Mulder. I wonder what he's telling OPR. I know that he felt guilty leaving Special Agent-in-Charge Darius Michaud alone with the bomb. It's not his fault. It's not our fault either. We were at the right building although we didn't know that at the time. We looked for the bomb, and Mulder found it. If we hadn't found it, many lives would have been lost. Ours included. I can't leave Mulder. I can't. I love him. It would be like leaving a part of myself behind. I have to tell him. I know that now. I have to show him how much he means to me. How much I need him in my life. If I leave the FBI, we could be together. We could have a normal life... I can't leave my love behind. They can't force me into this. They will not win. Mulder and I will win. They can't blame us for what happened in Dallas. It's not our fault. Mulder and I will overcome this, and I will still have my love. I know we will... End of Vignette. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------- - Erin Blair - eblair@sonic.net - "And if I quit now, they win." - from the X-Files: Fight the Future Movie