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  This author's e-mail address has changed to: xanaduxf@yahoo.com
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***DISCLAIMER***: All "X-Files" elements and references
in this story belong to Fox Broadcasting, Chris Carter,
and 1013 Productions, and I am making no money from it.

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Lessons Learned: Paradox
by shannono
shannono@iname.com


Series, MSR

Spoilers for "The Unnatural"

Rated PG

Summary: Mulder contemplates the two sides of Scully.
Picks up immediately after "Point of Contact."

Author's notes: Seventh in the series, and yes, you'll
need to read the others to make sense of this one. 

Thanks: To Brandon, Jen, Paulette, and Robbie -- the
few, the proud, the BFMs ... ;)

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Lessons Learned: Paradox
by shannono


Scully's kisses, I have learned, are nothing short of
masterpieces.

We stood there on that ballfield and kissed for what
seemed like years and seconds at the same time. Her lips
were just as soft and responsive as they always have been
in my fantasies, but the electricity between us went far
beyond anything I could have ever imagined.

She was gentle, and firm, and tender, and passionate, and
everything in between. She's always been a paradox, calm
and serene on the surface but with a fire burning just
beneath, reflected only in the cool burn of her eyes.

That night, the fire was unleashed, if only for a brief
moment, as our lips met and quickly became well-acquainted.
When we came up for air, my ears roared so that it took me
several long moments to realize I was hearing my name being
called from some distance away.

I turned reluctantly, my hands still cupping her face, and
looked over to see my young assistant -- his name was Jimmy,
we'd discovered -- standing uncertainly near the mound, a
five-gallon bucket brimming with baseballs sitting on the
ground next to him.

"I gotta go, Mr. Mulder," Jimmy said. "If I'm not home by
ten, my mom will have a fit."

I grinned and turned back to look into Scully's upturned
face. Her soft, soft lips were ever-so-slightly fuller than
normal, swollen by our kisses, and she was smiling
sweetly.

"Better pay him off, Mulder," she said, her voice low and
husky. "Don't want the debt from my birthday present to end
up on the same list as your overdue triple-X bill."

My grin widened, and I dipped my head for another quick kiss
before releasing her face and grabbing for her hand. I dug 
with my free hand into my back pocket, pulling out my
wallet as we walked the few dozen feet over to meet Jimmy,
then reluctantly dropped my grip on her long enough to draw
out a twenty and pass it over to the kid.

"Here you go, Jimmy," I said, tucking the wallet away and
sliding my arm around Scully's shoulders. "I'll let you know
when we're ready for another lesson."

Jimmy grinned at us. "Another *baseball* lesson, at least,"
he said, a little teasing taunt in his tone. And then he
laughed at our shocked expressions and turned, running off
toward the street.

I looked down to see Scully chuckling a little herself.
"God, kids are growing up *way* too fast these days," she
said, a little wistfully. Then she shook her head and said,
"Either that, or Jimmy's been spending too much time around
*you*."

I tightened my arm around her, pulling her around in front
of me. She looked up at me, the smile still on her face,
and I kissed it. Kissed *her*.

Thoroughly.

We were both practically panting by the time that kiss
ended, and I was painfully aware that there was no way she
didn't know what effect it had on me. We were pressed
together from the knees up, and I knew she could not help
but notice the erection that was pushing against her belly.
She could always ignore it ... but she didn't even try. 

"I guess I don't have to ask you if you're okay with 
this," she said, not quite meeting my eyes.

I puffed out a laugh and pulled her a little closer. "No, 
I guess not," I said, trying to keep my voice steady.

She smiled again, her head still down, then took a deep
breath. "I ..." she started, then paused. "This is not
easy for me to say, Mulder," she said, slowly, as if
choosing her words was the hardest thing she'd ever done.

"Hey," I said, bringing one hand around to lift her chin,
forcing her to meet my eyes. "This is me, Scully," I said.
"I'm not going anywhere, no matter what you say." I grinned
again, briefly. "And I've controlled myself for the past
six years; I'm not going to lose it now."

Her eyes flicked from side to side as she studied me, and
then she nodded. "I know that, Mulder," she said, firmly,
confidently. "I know you. I know you would never, *ever*
do anything I didn't want you to do."

She paused again, her gaze once again dropping away from
mine. "But just because I might want you to ... to do
something, doesn't mean we should jump right in."

She was nearly whispering by now, and I had to bend down
slightly to hear her as she continued. "You just said it
yourself -- we've waited six years. Much as I'd like to
just ... dive in ... I think ..."

"We should take it slow." I finished the thought for her,
both because I knew it was what she was about to say, and
because I knew the reaction it would get. And I was right.
Her eyes came back up immediately to meet mine, and I
smiled.

"I didn't plan this, Scully," I said, gently. "I want you
to know that. I just wanted us to have some fun, play a
little baseball, forget about everything we have to deal
with all the time. And we did."

I loosened my grip on her slightly, just enough to allow my
hands to slide up and down her back. "But now we've opened
up a whole new can of worms, so to speak" -- we both grinned
at that -- "and tonight is not the time to deal with it."

I slipped even further away, running my hands down her arms
to grip her hands. "So tonight, let's just enjoy it for what
it is, and worry later about what comes next. 'Kay?"

She studied me for another moment, then nodded and smiled.
"Okay," she said, squeezing my hands before releasing them.
My hands were immediately lost without hers, but I refrained
from reaching for her again. Slowly, I reminded myself. Give
her some space.

She looked over her shoulder at the bucket of baseballs,
then turned slightly to take in the pitching machine and
bat. She sighed. "Guess we should clean up the mess before
we go," she said.

"No way," I said, my hand in hers before I even realized
I'd reached for her. So much for good intentions.

She looked back up at me, and I shook my head. "This is
*your* birthday present," I said. "No way you're helping
with the cleanup."

I tugged on her hand, pulling her a step closer, and bent
down to brush my lips across her temple, then her cheek.
My mouth near her ear, I said, "You go home, get some
sleep, and let me take care of this. I'll call you
tomorrow."

I started to back away, but her free hand flew up to grasp
the back of my neck and pull my mouth to hers. She kept
the pressure light, her lips dancing across mine, our
tongues brushing for just a second.

She drew back just an inch, lifting up on her toes to
bring her mouth near my ear. "Thank you, Mulder," she
whispered, her breath caressing my skin and sending
shivers down my spine. "It was a wonderful birthday."

She ran her thumb across my palm as she pulled away, a
soft smile still on her face. And then she turned toward
the parking lot, not looking back.

I watched her go, my eyes following her small form as she
moved away. Her movements were just as graceful and
controlled as always, but now I had proof it was all an
act. I knew the truth about the paradox that is Scully. 
I'd just had a taste of the wellspring of feeling she 
keeps carefully locked away, and already I was thirsty 
for more.

I didn't turn move until her car was out of sight, drinking
up every last bit of her presence for as long as I could.

And then, her image still foremost in my mind, I turned
to the task at hand.