From: ephemeral@ephemeralfic.org Date: 21 Oct 2001 14:44:53 -0000 Subject: The Letter (1/2) by Hermione Source: direct Reply To: cherie@charmedmail.com TITLE: The Letter (1/2) AUTHOR: Hermione FEEDBACK: cherie@charmedmail.com RATING: G SPOILERS: post-Existence, probably All Things Empedocles and The Unnatural CLASSIFICATION: MSR, some angst SUMMARY: "You're not leaving Mulder, you're just -- "Going away?" "Going out for a while." AUTHOR'S NOTES: I just felt like doing something for Mulder and Scully. Hope you guys like it. This is my second time of writing a fanfic and I'm only 18, my heart can't take rude comments right now. So Good Feedback only please. It's always appreciated. ------------------------------------------------------------------ I found it on top of my bedside reading table. It was written on a white sheet of paper, folded neatly. I picked it up and opened it slowly. As I sat on the bed, carefully unfolding the paper, I recognized his familiar scribble. >Scully, Ever since you walked into my office, you knew I'm a man who is seriously committed to his quest. But no quest of mine would ever compare to the mission I shall pursue today. For so many years, I have given up so many things. But no sacrifice would ever compare to the one I'm giving up today. Ever since my sister disappeared, I have been a victim of utmost pain and heartache, but nothing compares to the pain, heartache, difficulty, and hurt that I am feeling today. Today, I'm going to pursue a quest with the hopes of protecting the only people left in my life, the only people that matter to me: You and our son William. Today, I'm going on a mission to find out what really happened to me, find out how to stop it, find out how to ensure your and William's safety. For we both know that I shall never rest until I'm sure that no one can harm my family, that you and William are safe and sound and happy and loved. I am not leaving. I will never leave you. We came such a long way to get here, and I'm not letting go just like that. I'll never let go. Not now, not ever. I may not be in your sight, maybe not in the same house with you and our son, but I know I'm in your hearts, as you both are in mine. You may not see me everyday, but I doubt that a day will pass without me entering your thoughts. I want you to know that even if we're not together physically, I'll spend every second, every minute, every hour of everyday thinking of you and William. You both are the only reasons why I breathe. You're the only reason why I'm alive. And you are the only reasons why I'm going on this journey, much as it hurts me. But you know so well that I'm going on this search only because you agreed on it, you want this too. If you would only utter the word -Stay- to me, I will. No questions asked, no second thoughts. Even if this is of great importance, I won't go. That is, only if you tell me to stay. You don't have to ask, just tell me. But right now, I doubt you'd do that. You don't want me to go, but you know it's for the best. There are no options left. And you know, as I hope you do, that when I walk out that white door of yours, I have every intention in this world to walk in again. I'm coming back. I'll miss you so much. Even saying that would be an understatement. I hope you know that wherever I'll be, I'd be waking up with you as my first thought, with a prayer that William is happy and content as well. And I would go about my day working with you and our son as the end goal. And before I sleep, you'll be my thoughts. And in my dreams, I'd find you there still. Believing that the sooner I get things done, the sooner I'll come home to both of you. Home, that's where you and William are. That's where I belong. This is no ditch, Scully, I hope you know that. No chase, no crop circles, no unusual activity hovering in midair, no case with unknown origin, no X-File. Work is over. This is Life. The X-Files died when William was born, when our love was made known. This is just about our family, and my mission to keep you both safe. I'll be right here. Close, but not too close to endanger you. Safe, but keeping you and William safer. Loved, just as you and our child are loved by me. I Love You. For once in my life, I am living. I am alive, and that's thanks to you. And, for once in my life, I am on a worthy quest, on a worthy cause. And for once in my life, I am certain, very sure of where I am to go. And indeed so sure of where I am to go back. I Love you. I love you both. I'll never tire of saying that, nor making you feel what I mean. I love you. I love you. I love you. >Mulder As I feel the warm tears running down my now red eyes, I felt his arms encircle my waist. I didn't even notice him sitting beside me on the bed. ...To be continued in THE LETTER (2/2) ------------------------------------------------------------------ He rests his chin on my shoulder and kisses my cheek. Then slowly, he whispers into my ears, "You were supposed to read that after I go." I could not hold back my emotions any longer and I collapse into his warm embrace. I sob into his chest, and he rubs my back, silently telling me to stop crying. He kisses my hair and says, "I Love You." I bury my head on the crook of his neck and tell him, "I love you." He then cups my head with his now shaking hands and tells me, "I'll be back. You know that." I ask, "When?" "When the time is right." "How long till that time comes?" He smiles. "Not too long to make you miss me so much you'll hunt for me." "Mulder, if we're basing the *hunt* on missing you, then I should be hunting for you right this very moment." "I know. And me too, I'm missing you already and I haven't even said my goodbye!" He jokes, but I know that his statement had its meaning. "We promised no goodbyes. Besides, why will t here be a goodbye when you're not leaving? You're not leaving, Mulder, you're just -- " "Going away?" "Going out for awhile." He nods then rests his forehead on mine. "I'm going out for awhile. I'll be back soon. You won't even notice I'm gone." "I doubt it." I tell him, feeling the tears which threaten to flow. He stands up. I know where he's going. He's going to his son's room. I know exactly what's going to happen, and I just don't have tears left to cry anymore. On the way out of my bedroom, he looks back at me. I'm hugging myself, tears still flowing slowly. He puts his hands on his pocket and looks at me in the eye. "Hey, Scully, since I'm just going out for awhile, do you want me to get anything for you when I get back? A bagel, a pizza with congealed cheese?" I smile at him. I could easily say, *Just bring back the man I love and the father of my child, and that's enough for me.* But I know it'll be so much harder for him to go if I say that. Instead, I tell him something else. "Yeah, Mulder, just bring me lots of non-fat toffutti dreamsicles." He lets out a small laugh. "You always keep me guessing, Scully." He turns his back slowly. But then, he turns to me again. He smiles, "Nah, I'll just bring you one so I could wrestle you for a bite." This time, it was I who let out a laugh. "You never cease to amaze me, Mulder." *End*