From: Marina Snegova Date: Fri, 29 Jan 1999 17:01:20 -0800 (PST) Subject: fanfic 'Letter Cookies' hi. This is our first fanfic and we were wondering if you wanted to post it. ThanX. here it is... Title: Letter Cookies Written by Marina (schizo4235@yahoo.com) and Kristen (KristiLJ@aol.com) Catagory: MSR, Humor Rating: PG-13 for mild seXual situations/language Disclaimer: Mulder, Scully, Diana Fowley, and etc belong to CC and 1013. We're just borrowing them. Spoilers: Maybe some tiny ones from the movie and Diana Fowley episodes. * * * * * * * THURSDAY SCULLY'S APARTMENT "Scully, I'm hungry." She turned, looking at him. Aww, that face. She swore she had never met anyone as good at the "puppy dog" pout as her partner Mulder. "If you want, you can go get yourself something out of the cupboard," She said. He got up. After satisfying herself with a long hard look at his rear end, she went back to typing her report. Mulder searched. Tuna... and Raisin Bran cereal. 'Jeez Scully' he thought. 'So that's how you stay so damn thin. You don't have a bite of real food in here.' He continued looking. Opening the neXt cupboard, he saw a large jar. He reached up to the top shelf to grab it and... "LETTER COOKIES Scully?????" "WHAT??" She cried. "In your cupboard...letter cookies???" "Oh.. those??" She smiled... no she GRINNED. "If you don't mind my asking... why do you have letter cookies in your cupboard?" He asked. "A while ago I taught my Godson the alphabet... so for my birthday he gave me a jar of 'em." "Oh." He replied. 'Nice' he thought to himself. 'Really'... "Well," He began again, "at least it's food." They carried the jar back to the table. Mulder emidiatly reached in. An "F". 'hmmmmm...' he thought... reaching back inside he pulled out 2 more letters... "Look Scully... I can spell FBI!" he grinned. She laughed. Looking over at him, she was amazed. How could a grown man find such fun in doing that? 'Wait...' she thought... 'this is a guy who entertains himself by throwing pencils at the ceiling...' She laughed again... then... moving her laptop aside... she reached for the jar herself... Mulder saw Scully reaching for the jar and pushed it toward her, sliding it across the small table. Scully reaced for the cookies, but she missed, and the jar slid right into her laptop, knocking the screen down. Then the jar tipped and rolled toward the edge of the table. Scully reached again for the jar, catching it just before it was about to fall off the edge. A couple cookies fell on the floor. Scully put the jar upright, and it was then that she realized the neck of her shirt was hanging off her shoulder... and the strap from her bra was showing. Scully quickly covered it up. And she looked at Mulder who was looking at her. She looked down in embarrassment. "SeXy..."Mulder said. She looked up. "What, Mulder?" "SeXy,"he repeated. Scully made a face. "S-E-X-E... look." She looked down on the floor. The letters on the floor. The ones that had fallen out. Sure enough, the letters S-E-X-E were laying on the hardwood floor. They at each other and both laughed. Mulder leaned down and picked them up, putting one of the Es in his mouth. Scully looked at him. He relized that in his hand the letters spelled "SEX". Mulder quickly put another E in his mouth. "S for Scully, " he said, handing her the letter S. He started to hand her he X too, but she insisted that he eat it. They looked at each other and smiled. Scully remmembered her laptop. She raised the screen slowly. "Sorry about that," Mulder said. Scully smiled. "Oh well." she said, "No prob." "You sure?" "Yeah, I was done anyway." "K." Scully reached for the jar again. Pulling out a handfull of cookies, she spread them on the table. C_D_S_M_M_E_W. 'Hm...' she thought. "Look Mulder... CSM!"She said, putting 3 of the cookies aside. Sure enough they spelled CSM. "Nice," He said. Then noticing they were left with D_B_I_M_E_W, he reached towards the pile. "Die." He said. "Huh???" Scully cried. "D_I_E." He replied, pulling 3 more of the cookies aside. "Oh." She looked back over to what was left of the pile. "Wow! Mulder, look! BMW!" She said. "Where?" he said, turning towards the window. "Right here...the cookies." She grinned again. "It's kind of amazing how many 3 letter words there are." Mulder said. "I bet it'd be easy, if we really thought about it... to go a whole day using at least one in eve ry sentence." She replied. He smiled. "You'd mess up first." "What? How do you know?" "You talk more. You use bigger sentences. You have a greater chance of screwing up." "Oh shut up, Mulder. That doesn't mean anything. I bet I could go longer than you." She replied. "All right then... it's a bet." "And if I win... will you finally clean up that desk of yours?" She asked. "Fine, but if I win, you get to do it." "Fine. When do we start?" "Right Now," Mulder replied. "Fine by me," answered Scully. "Fine." "Fine." "May the best.. uh... 3-letter-speller person win." "Ok... Good luck. And you're gonna need it too, Mulder." "We'll just have to see about that." "Yeah, I guess we will, won't we." Scully ate another cookie, trying not to smile. "I thought we were gonna start..." "We did, we are. When the clock changes to 10:13 we'll start. It's 10:12." They both stared at the clock anticipating the change. They waited... and waited...and waited. "Scully... your clock's not changing." Mulder laughed. "It will Mulder." They waited a little longer. "Scully, hasn't it been over a minute?" "It would have changed if it was, Mulder." Scully sighed Scully looked down at her watch and started laughing. "Oops I forgot." Scully was still giggling. "The batteries are gone in that clock. It's 11:21, not 10:12! Sorry!" Mulder smiled at her, trying not to laugh. But Scully was laughing so hard he couldn't not laugh too. "Ok, we'll start now then, Mulder." She ate one more cookie. "Are you ready?" Mulder nodded. "Ready... set..." Scully prolonged the moment..."GO!" They smiled at each other, each not wanting to be the first to talk and use 3 letter words. Mulder reached over and ate another cookie. "Hey... uh.. oh.. hey FBI woman .... In think I'm gonna go now... k? I've gotta uh... get in the BMW and uh... drop some stuff off at the office.. it's late anyways... oh and by the way... are we using 3 letter abriviations or 3 letter words?" He asked Scully. "Interesting Mulder, and no, we CAN'T just use any 3 letter word... it has to be an abriviation... and uh ok... see-ya... goodnight... RIP ....bye." She answered. He smiled. Then he gathered his papers, got up, and walked towards the door. He turned for one last look at Scully, and tripped over something or rather on the floor. He went toppling head first into her hallway, stopping his fall only with his hands. He turned. Scully stuck her tongue out at him, and continued to laugh as he jokingly flicked her off. Then he got up and waved her goodbye. She shut her door behind him. Scully smiled to herself. "Ugh, what was I thinking? Using only 3-letter uh... thingies!!! All day long!?! Oh yeah, this'll be fun." Scully cleaned up her stuff and headed to bed. Mulder left her apartment with a smile on his face. He shook his head as he walked down the stairs. "What am I doing?" Mulder said to himself. "She's gonna whoop my ass!" NEXT MORNING D.C. FIELD OFFICE "Hey FBI woman, what's up?" Mulder said cheerfully to Scully. "OPR called me in this morning, they have a case for us... something the people around here haven't even heard about. Apparently, in the last 6 weeks there were 3 murders in NYC where the victims all died from suffocating... in a garbage bag." She answered. "And so what's so strange... don't things like that happen pretty often in NYC?" He said. "What's strange is that the witnesses told the NYC police that the murders were done by an overweight cow driving around in a ..." "A BMW???" Mulder joked. Scully laughed. 'God this is gonna be harder than I thought.' "Well, I was thinking more like a UFO... but yeah Mulder. It was a BMW-UFO." Scully replied sarcastically. "Wow, awesome," Mulder paused, "... that it was a uh... BMW-UFO... I mean... yeah." "You haven't got a chance Mulder, I'm gonna win this thing..." Scully almost forgot, "... UFO-boy's going down!" Mulder stared at her and laughed. "You almost screwed up yourself there , Mrs. UFO-boy." "What eXactly are you implying , Agent Mulder, FBI?" "I'm not impying anything Scully, you're paranoid, and now... off to NYC!" Mulder grabbed his coat and opened the door, holding it for Scully. "Ladies first, FBI woman." Scully grabbed her coat off the chair and walked out the door. "ThanX F.O.X." Mulder smiled, and followed her out, closing it behind them. They walked into the elevator. "So we're going by first names here, aren't we, Dana, FBI?" "What ever you want UFO-y." "Well, I think I'll start calling you PMS.. how's that?" Mulder smiled. Scully rolled her eyes. They walked out of the elevator. "No Mulder, somehow I don't think so, Scully, FBI will be just fine." Mulder frowned. "I'm sorry Mulder, but if you yell out PMS while you're in trouble, I'm not coming to help you." Scully replied. Mulder imitaded himslef yelling, turning a few heads in the process, "PMS, help I'm in trouble! PMS!!! Help, PMS!!" People stared openly at him. Both he and Scully looked around and burst out laughing at the same time. They picked up their walking pace, 'leaving the scene', and proceded down the stairs. About halfway down, Mulder put his arm around Scully's shoulders and said. "I'm sorry Scully, I won't call you PMS woman, and I wasn't implying anything cuz you know you're great... "he paused, "most of the time." Scully made a face. "ThanX buddy, that means a lot coming from UFO-boy." "What do you say we stop by your place and grab some letter cookies for the road eh, DKS?" Scully smiled. "Ya know, I really just don't wanna, FWM." She replied. "Why the hell not.. are you afraid you'll run into CSM? Or the MIB will come erase your memory? Or maybe the CIA will stop you and start questioning you about who-knows-what?" He teased. Suddenly he realized his hands felt rather empty. "Shit, I forgot my briefcase... let's got back... sorry DKS." "Whatever, and I was more on the line of being worried about being decapitated by a low flying UFO." She answered. "I'm so sure... that if that damn UFO has any brains, it wouldn't decapitate you." Mulder grinned. "And what the hell is that supposed to mean.. uh.. coming from and FBI agent?" Scully asked. "Just that your face is too cute to be laying around without a body, and your body's too cute to not have a head on it, FBI chick." He answered. "You know FWM, sometimes you can be annoying as hell, but it's things like these that make you so damn cute." Scully said. As she said that, she pinched his cheek like you would picture a grandmother doing to a little kid. "Why thank you Agent Scully, you're pretty damn cute yourself... making us.." he paused, "a couple of pretty damn cute FBI agents; one damn goodlooking team. The best the FBI has ever seen!" He laughed at the way those two sentences rhymed. "And ever will, for that matter... at the FBI." Scully continued, still giggling and trying not to burst out with loud laughter. Mulder stood up on a chair and cleared his throat. Immitating and announcer with a deep voice Mulder said, "And the award for the damn, uh, cutest agents at the FBI goes to.. well obviously folks, agents Mulder and Scully! ... Come on up guys and say a few words about your jobs at the FBI." Scully was laughing hysterically, but still managed to pull up a chair neXt to Mulder, and climb up on it herself. "Well, I wasn't really eXpecting to get this, but we'd like to thank the CIA and the secret service-" She was cut off. There was a knock on the door, followed emidiatly by the enterance of their direct superior, the A.D. "Agents..." He said with an odd look on his face. "Agents... I talked to OPR just now. I was told you two were no longer on the case. An hour ago, a man turned himself in to the NYPD. He told them he had drugged the witnesses, and run around in a cow suit. Apparently the drug was so powerful that the bystanders believed he was really a cow. All the evidence seems to point in his direction, and he knew far too much about each victim to have been lying." "Thank you sir, that, uh, came from the OPR?" Scully asked. "Yes. I am giving you two the rest of the day off because of the inconveniece. I know you had prepared for this, so you two are to report back on Monday." The A.D. replied on his way out. "Whew, I'm certainly glad OPR decided to tell him. It would be rather strange if 2 FBI agents came to investigate when there was no longer a case, especially when they weren't even prepared for it like the A.D. thought.. sometimes I think he overestimates us." Scully stated. "So what now FBI woman? Apparently we have the rest of the day off to do whatever... so let's got to KFC!" Mulder joked, recieving another LOOK from Scully. He walked up behind her, suddenly tripping over the chair legs, gave a wild scream and crashed on top of her on the hardwood floor. He rolled over. Then he took a deep breath and looked at his partner. That look sent her laughing. It started with a small giggle, and quickly rolled into loud unproffesional laughter. Mulder laughed along. They lay there, on the floor together, laughing untill tears poured down their faces. Scully held her head up and looked at Mulder as she giggled. He was beet red. 'I bet I am too..." she thought. "Oops.." he said, "..sorry.. ... FBI." Scully tried to stop laughing. "And the award for the world's clumiest FBI agent goes to-" Mulder cut her off. "Diana Fowley!!" Scully made a face. "No.. I was thinking more on the line of yo-" "Agent.. Diana.." Mulder said. Scully looked up, to see her looking down at them with an even odder face eXpression than the one she was born with, not knowing how to start. "Should I maybe.. uh.. come back.. la..a..ater?" She asked, looking at Mulder who was still bright red. "FoX... Agent Mulder.. are you alright?" Mulder nodded and began to get up very slowly. Scully followed, trying to avoid her stare. 'Hate her, hate her, wouldn't wanna date her.' Scully thought to herself. Mulder was now fully standing as he approached the bitch.. but with caution.. eXtreme caution. "What do you want DIE-ana?" Mulder was pissed. "FoX... I was just wondering if you'd like to go get a cup of coffee.. and maybe..." "EXcuse us for a sec, Scully.. FBI business..." Mulder said, smiling at her. They eXited, and closed the door. Scully heard yelling. It got louder and louder. Then a slap... 'Oww... probably DIE-ana... I hope it was DIE-ana getting slapped.' Mulder re-entered the room. "Mulder, is everything ok... FBI business-wise?" Scully inquired. "Yeah, yeah, just great FBI woman." He was grinning. "Time to par-tay, come on FBI chick!" "Mulder.. where's DIE-ana?" He grinned even more. "In the hall... still.. the FBI hallway." Scully looked at Mulder oddly. She shook her head and then went to see if DIE-ana was still in the hallway. A big grin spread across her face too. "Mulder... UFO-boy..." she couldn't hide her happiness, "she's..." Scully stared. DIE-ana was dead. Yep. Dead. She was. Very dead. YAY!! "Mulder.. uh.. UFO-boy.. how???" "She had a heart attack and she's dead... DIE-ana's dead!" "She's awful young to have a heart attack UFO-y... although she doesn't look it." "A heart attack.. we went into the hallway and she said she loved me and I told her to go to hell and that she was the biggest bitch that the world has ever seen, and that I hated her guts and never wanted to see her again in my whole entire friggin FBI-agent life. And she died of a heart attack... a broken-heart attack. Hee hee, cool huh FBI woman? Scully smiled... Mulder smiled... Scully grinned... Mulder grinned... Scully laughed... Mulder laughed. "Now, where were we UFO-boy?" Scully giggled as she sat down on the floor. "We were talking about the worlds clumsiest agents.. FBI agents." Said Mulder. Then moving towards her he pretended to trip over his own foot, gave a wild (girly) yelp, and with his arms thrashing around went hurdling into Scully's lap. As he turned to his side on her lap, she gave him a knowing smile and placed her hand on his forehead. He shuddered. "Damn Scully, uh, DKS; your hands are colder than hell." He stated. "Well.. uh yeah, they would be, UFO-y." She answered. He sat up, put his arms around her waist, and blew on her neck. This time she shuddered. "What the hell are you doing, FWM?" She cried. "I'm seducing you, FBI chick." Mulder purred in her ear. She turned her head, and suddenly, he kissed her. At first she gasped, then settled in. Finally, she drew her hands to his cheeks, and forced his lips even closer. They made out like horny teens on the floor, untill both were sweating and panting profusely. Mulder got up and stuck out his hand to pull her up to him. She stood, and was once again face to face with him. "I love you Scully." He said. "Do you now?" "Yup." "And you are also aware that you just lost the bet?" Scully grinned victoriously. "Shit, you're right." "I have decided to alter your punishment though." She said. "Oh really?" "Yeah... you no longer have to clean out your desk. You're comming to my apartment and cooking me dinner." She continued. "And after that?" "Oh we'll think of something..." "Something...? Like what?" Mulder asked, trying to hide his amusement. "Oh I dunno... let's just see where the evening takes us." Scully stood up on her tiptoes and faced Mulder eye to eye. She wondered how Mulder kept a straight face... but somehow he did. 'Oh.' Mulder thought. 'Those are the best kind of...' Scully kissed him again. Still on her tiptoes, she leaned on him for support. Mulder wavered a little bit from the eXtra weight he was holding up. Scully drew back. "Mulder, what's wrong?" "Something... something stung me.. "Mulder said with a hushed voice and a grin, as he looked down. Scully elbowed him. "You bastard..." She kissed him again, remmembering what happened last time when she had said that. Mulder picked her up as they kissed and slowly carried her towards the door. He opened it, carrying her out of the office. He tried not to step on DIE-ana's body, or.. I guess you could call that a body.. whatever the hell it was... but her fat ass took up too much room. But neither Mulder nor Scully glanced at the thing.. they were too wrapped up in each other, as they proceeded down the hall to the car. They rode for hours. 'Hmm..' Scully thought, 'somehow I don't remmeber the way to my house being this long...' Suddenly the car sputtered to a stop. She looked over at Mulder who gave her an ironic grin. "Oops, i guess the gas ran out." He said. Scully got out of the car and looked around. It was already dark, and there was no civilization for miles. "I guess we have to sleep in the car. Then in the morning we could go look for a gas station. However did you get us so far into the friggin county? And where's my house anyway?" Scully said. "Uh, elsewhere I suppose... nap time!" Mulder replied. With that, he lowered the back of the car seat, and layed down. He did the same for her, although obvioulsy too swiftly, because the car seat fell causing her head to bounce up and hit the seat belt holster. "Ohmygosh Scully, I'm sorry." He quickly cried out. "Forget it." She said, and closed her eyes. It had been a long day. In minutes, she opened them again to find Mulder staring at her. She shivered. "It's cold much." She said. "Yeah.. colder than hell." He replied, gathering her to him. "Uh.. I should think so Mulder." Scully said. He was lost. "What? Sorry, I was in another world for a sec." Mulder smiled. "Never mind." Scully mumbled. "No, tell me." "It's not important, Mulder. " "Yes.. yes it is. It is if you said it." Mulder insisted. He leaned over to her. "Goodnight Mulder." Scully closed her eyes. He sighed. It was a sigh of defeat...of what though, he wasn't sure. "Goodnight." He kissed her on the cheek. She smiled without opening her eyes. Then she kissed the air as if kissing him goodnight. Mulder smiled. LATER THAT NIGHT Scully awoke suddenly to an odd noise. She pressed 'display' on her clock. It was 12:11. She looked over at Mulder. He wasn't there. "Mulder?!?" Scully cried out. "Mulder?!?" Then she looked at his seat again. There was a note. It read; "I will eXplain." Scully threw her head back in her seat. "Damnit Mulder. Where the hell are you?" She shivered. It's a good thing her left her his jacket. LATER She pressed 'display' on her clock for the gillian-th time. 2:09. She was starting to get very worried. Suddenly, there was a noice outside the car.. She whirled around to see Mulder running in her direction. "Mulder!!!" She cried, eXcited. He got in the car and shut the door quickly. "Mulder! Where were you? I woke up and you weren't here, and I got so worried... and then you didn't come back.. and I got even more worried and now you're back, and know I should be very mad at you and I'm not.. because I love you and I'm so sorry.. and I was so worried and I didn't have a clue where you had gone and-" She was cut off. Mulder kissed her. His lips were ice cold, but she didn't mind. When she finally relized what was happening she kissed back, but Mulder broke the kiss. "I love you too." They both smiled. She kissed him this time. She ran her hands around his neck. "Mulder, you're freezing!!!" She tried to warm him up. "Yeah I know. I had to pee Scully, and I did.. and then I couldn't find my way back to the car because it was pitch black and I couldn't see a thing... and I left my jacket here to keep you warm." She gave him a sympathetic face. It was then the she remmembered she still had his jacket on. She took it off and gave it back to him, and he gladdly accepted it. Scully opened her mouth to talk, but stopped. She tried again. "Well.." she started, "I was told once that the best way to regenerate body heat is to crawl naked into a sleeping bag with someone else who's already naked." Mulder grinned (again.) "Well, guess what I keep in the trunk for emergencies?" "You're serious?!?" Scully eXclaimed. "Well, what the hell are we waiting for?" Mulder walked outside and grabbed a black sleeping bag out of the trunk of the cream colored intrigue. Then he lowered all the seats to create a virtually flat mattress-like surface, and got in the car. "What neXt?" He asked. "I think this is where we strip each other butt-maked and get into the sleeping bag." Scully stated. Then she reached over and peeled off Mulder's jacket and gray tee-shirt, eXposing his tight chest muscles. He shivered. "Don't worry, you'll be hot in a couple of minutes." She smiled. She then reached over to unbutton her own blouse, while Mulder worked on his zipper. "This is weird, Mulder." "Very weird." Finally they sat there nude in the car, both of them shivering and obviously aroused, not sure how to proceed. Scully gesturedat the sleeping bag. "After you," she said. Mulder unzipped the bag and climbed in. He was soon followed by Scully. She laid down on top of him. He could feel her breasts pushing hotly against his chest, when suddenly..... He awoke. Mulder looked up to find Scully looking at him through a stack of papers piled in front of her. She smiled. "Back from Dreamland?" "Uh.. what..? What am I doing here?" He asked. "You came here to work on your report, and you fell asleep. You've been asleep or the last two hours and I was able to finish my report and yours. So you owe me. You owe me big time." Scully eXplained. It was then that Mulder remmembered the dream. "Scully, I'm hungry." She turned, looking at him. Aww, that face... THE END Comments/Questions? E-mail schizo4235@yahoo.com This is our first fanfic, so feedback is highly appreciated. == AD NOCTUM the darkness