From: Megan Andres <mfiles1013@yahoo.com>
Date: Tue, 29 Feb 2000 11:42:26 -0800 (PST)
Subject: submission
Source: direct

TITLE: A LETTER TO SAM
AUTHOR: SPENDERGIRL (2 of 5)
RATING: PG
SPOILERS: NONE
SUMMARY: WHEN A WOMAN GOES THROUGH DEATH ALONE, WHAT WILL SHE WRITE TO  THOSE LEFT BEHIND?
DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN SAMANTHA, SCULLY, MULDER, BILL MULDER, OR TINA MULDER. ENJOY!
DEDICATION: FOR MAGA.


A Letter to Sam


Samantha,

    I'm not sure why I felt that I should write to you. I never knew you
and you aren't around to receive this letter. I can't even say  I care
about you. For that I'm sorry. Not for what is now but for what  happened
long ago. 

    At first I didn't understand how important you were to Mulder.   Now I
see that his obsession with you has helped him to forget what  happened
after you left. By focusing on you, he could forget that your mother
became hateful of your father. He could
 forget that she ignored  what he went through.  Mulder could forget what
his father was like. The abuse that he suffered at your father's hand was
horrible. He saw more hospitals as a child than any terminally ill
patient. No wonder he hates doctors and hospitals. 

    But what Bill did before you were even born was by far the worst.
Mulder has always been afraid of fire. He's never known why. I do. Bill
was so drunk one night that he set Mulder's crib on fire. If Tina hadn't
grabbed Mulder when she did, he would ha ve burned ot death. Bill was a
monster. 

    As you can see, Mulder needs help. At first his quest for you
supplemented that need. And for six years so did I. But now events in my
life will leave him alone with his need. I am sorry that after what I've
become to him that I must leave him. I have
 become for him what you were. I am his saint, protector, and love. 

    If you ever come home, think of Mulder as a child. We are his parents.
It's time for him to grow up. Help him become the great man he was born to
be. Thank you for giving me this chance. Thank you for letting Mulder be
sane for six years. All in all, for what you did and didn't do, thank you.

Dana Scully, M.D.