From: foofle@bolt.com
Date: Wed, 02 Jan 2002 23:28:40 -0800
Subject: submission piece
Source: direct

Subject:  Letting Go
By: Dana Fay Tine
Disclaimer:  First off I'm pissed.  I needed to get my mind off of
things so I wrote this piece.  It's probably gonna suck but I really
don't care right now.  The characters of The X-Files do not belong 
to me.  This is an alternate universe piece.  So no spoilers are in
it really.  If there are I am really sorry; I go as I write.  Also 
the song Mourning by Tantric isn't mine I just love the feeling in it.
No infringement is intended 

Letting Go

	A time so long forgotten that she never really cared about it.
Sometimes she would dream about it but rarely did she never really thought
about it.  She stood at the edge of the beach and let her mind wander.
It was easier for her not to concentrate on anything and just let the

answers come to her.  *A form of therapy* she would tell herself.  In

all reality she was escaping the truth, she was alone.  She looked at
the picture of her and her former love, John Maynam.  She fought hard
with herself to just let it go.  All the times he hurt her, all the 
times he left her hanging wishing he was there to make things better.
Of course he was never there to fix what he did to her.  He only hurt
her more and more even in his death he hurt her.  Leaving her here on
this God forsaken planet to just wonder all the "what might have been"
theories.  She stopped crying because at some point she felt there was
no point to cry anymore.  It was useless.  She knew that she could 
never love someone as much as she loved John but at the same time 
she remembered all the pain he caused her and she would just become
more enraged.  That's why she gave up on thinking, there was no point.
 
*In the mourning I can see the sights 
No wonder I could never keep you satisfied 
In the mourning I can see inside myself 
And all the things that you were trying to hide*
The song ran through her head so many times it almost drove her insane.
He hid so many things from her.  The fact that he was married while 
they were together.  How he said he loved her when in reality it was

all a two faced game.  He broke her heart so many times, yet she kept
going back to him.  Until one day she snapped.  She was told of how 
much he loved her and how much he wanted to be with her forever.  
Then he turned around and let her know that his wife was pregnant.  
She was taken aback, how could he say those things without realizing
what they would do to her.  He didn't care.  He never did.  That was

a lie and she damn well knew it, he cared he just didn't fucking think
about what he was doing to her heart.  He never saw it.  How was he 
supposed to know anyway, she never showed on emotion to him.  Now he's
dead.  And she wasn't sure how to take it.  She wasn't happy and she

wasn't sad.  It was an indifference to the matter.
*Then you conned me into thinking 
That all I had was you 
The small insinuations were cutting me through 
And now I stand alone here 
Stronger than before and I'll never go back never go.*
The words hit her heart a thousand times harder when she thought of
that verse.  "You ready?"  The man behind her was calm and patient.
He looked at her and just waited.
"Yeah might as well get this over with."  He handed her a lighter
and the letter that was addressed to Maynam.  She smiled and looked
out to the ocean with the picture and letter in one hand and the 
lighter in another.  She lit the letter first and once it was 
engulfed enough she let it drop to the sand and watched it burn.
Then she took one last look at the picture and lit it. Letting it
go she turned to Mulder.  "Scully you gonna be ok?"  
"For the first time in my life Mulder I think I will be."  She 
smiled and went into his arms, feeling safe for the first time ever.
*This could work,* she thought.  He treated her well and she knew it.
It was time to let the past go and look forward to the future.
End....

My anger came out in this piece, a love I thought so great turned it's
back on me again.  Yet unlike Scully I have no one to turn to that is
near me right now.  This is my first piece so please be gentle about
the comments.