Date sent: Sat, 14 Mar 1998 15:57:55 +1000 From: Shane Subject: msr a little maybe Hi, this is my first piece of fan fiction so be kind. Comments welcome at . Archive anywhere. Rating: M Classification: Mulder/Scully Romance Spoilers: Never Again Summary:Mulder & Scully sort out their feelings for one another in an angst ridden confrontation. Disclaimer: Mulder, Scully, The X-Files aren't mine. They belong to Chris Carter & 1013. Just borrowing them for 5 minutes. A Little Maybe Part 1/5 It had been a long day and Scully couldn't wait to get home, have a long hot soak in the bath, and fall into bed. The case she and Mulder were working on at the moment was not going well and the tension was starting to show. They were starting to get on each other's nerves and their normally relaxed working relationship was deteriorating to petty remarks and sarcasm. There was no humour, no racy double entendre and no closeness. There was just a constant sniping at each other which she supposed was covering up emotions they were both feeling but neither would admit to. She was tired and she didn't know if it was caused by the illness which was so constantly on her mind or the atmosphere in the basement office. And she was running late because Mulder had neglected to tell her of a report that was due in today so she'd had to go back to the office to finish it. Unfortunately an early night was not on the cards for her. She was supposed to be at a restaurant close to her neighbourhood with friends and work mates of Agent Pendrell. There was to be a kind of Wake to help everyone deal with the death of one of the nicest guys in the FBI, but frankly thinking about Agent Pendrell did not help her mood any. He was another great person who had died, albeit indirectly, due her and Mulder's great crusade for the "truth". Checking her watch she realised that as she was already fifteen minutes late, she really had no time to dash home, shower and change into something a bit more casual than her navy suit. Anyway she knew that if she went home first she'd never make it back. Turning into the street where the restaurant was located she had her first break of the evening. A car park just across the road. As she got out of the car she could already see a few familiar faces from work through the glass front of the restaurant and standing just a little apart from the main crowd was Mulder. He'd obviously had time to go home and change into jeans and a sweater, she thought resentfully. The restaurant was brightly lit and looked inviting but standing across the road from them she felt cut off and alone. In her present mood she really didn't feel like going in to make polite conversation with people she hardly knew. She turned to get back into the car when a garish neon sign caught her eye. "BAR" Walking a little way up the road to get a better look at the place she found that although it had obviously seen better days, it wasn't seedy and the crowd seemed fairly innocuous. Maybe she could have a quick drink and relax a little then go to the restaurant. She was late already and Mulder would be able to explain where she was, seeing that it was his fault she was late anyway. She walked into the bar and chose a seat at one of the tables, stopping at the counter only long enough to order a scotch & soda. A double. Looking around the bar she could see that she had made a good choice. There were a fair few people around but in spite of this the bar was relatively quiet and the jukebox in the corner was not belting out raucous rock & roll but a slow ballad. She took her third sip of scotch and felt herself start to relax. Part 2/5 Scully was late and Mulder was starting to get a little worried. He knew that she was pissed off at him for having to go back to the office but it wasn't like her not to show for something she had committed to. Especially since this get together was ostentiably for Agent Pendrell. Maintaining a social facade didn't come easily to him and functions like this made him uncomfortable. The "Spooky" comments didn't really bother him but it made it difficult for him to relax and relate to the people around him. He'd been depending on Scully to take some of the pressure of conversation off him and to deflect some of the not so subtle overtures he was receiving from some of the women attending the wake. She was over an hour late and even considering the time it took her to finish the report and get over here she should still have arrived at least forty minutes ago. He'd already tried calling the office and her apartment, thinking that she might have gone home to change but had gotten no answer, and her cell phone was turned off. He was probably just being paranoid but after the experiences that Scully had been through he found himself getting tense when she was even 5 minutes late for work. He tried not to let it show but he knew he wasn't too successful and his concern probably came across as irritation. Checking his watch again he decided that enough was enough. He was going out to look for her. Saying goodbye to the few people who even noticed he was leaving he grabbed his jacket and walked outside into the cool evening air. And stopped dead. Her car was parked across the street. Where the hell was she? He crossed the road & put his hand on the hood of her car. It was cold. She'd obviously parked the car there some time ago but if that was the case that where was she? There was no way he could have missed her entrance into the restaurant and she couldn't have been in the restroom the whole time. He was looking up the street when he caught sight of her. She was walking out of a bar. Actually "walking" wasn't quite right. Ambling would describe it better. She'd obviously come straight from work as she was wearing the same navy suit but apart from that and her distinctive red hair she bore little resemblance to his straitlaced partner. She hadn't seen him and was obviously waving goodbye to someone in the bar and she was smiling. It had been a long time since he had seen Scully smile and even under the circumstances it took his breath away. She didn't even glance at the car or him but turned and walked up the street away from him. Suddenly he was angry. He had just spent the past hour worrying himself sick about her, fending off "spooky" comments and passes from various women in equal measure and here she was getting drunk in a bar. And SMILING at strangers. Where was she going anyway? Then he realised. She was walking home. Her place was only about a mile away and if she'd been in that bar for as long as he'd thought she would be in no condition to drive. Swearing to himself he turned and started walking to his car, determined to catch up with her and give her a piece of his mind while he drove her home. Part 3/5 It was a beautiful night for a walk and Scully was feeling very relaxed as she walked through the wide tree lined streets on the way to her neighbourhood. She'd had a couple of scotches and while she had a slight buzz her senses were still very much alert . She'd had a great time at the bar. She had easily discouraged a well dressed business man from coming on to her and found herself laughing at the attempts of two college students who were trying desperately to attract her attention. From the way they put their heart and soul into it she was sure that they had a bet on who would be the one to pick her up. It had been a long time since she'd had that kind of attention from a man. Well, maybe not that long ago. She thought briefly of Ed Jerse. At the start of their brief affair she had thought he was just what she'd needed to boost her flagging ego but once again it ended badly. Why did she always seem to get involved with men who had some kind of psychotic crusade? Enough already. She was trying to hang on to her good mood and thinking about the men (or lack thereof) in her life was not the way to go about it. As she pulled her thoughts back to the present she became aware of a car creeping along behind her. She immediately straightened her shoulders and quickened her pace. She was not worried about being attacked. After all she was a highly trained, armed FBI agent but her heart beat quickened as she tried to get a look at the car following her. All she could see were headlights. The car sped up, shot in front of her and then slammed on the brakes. The driver side door was flung open and a tall man got out and stalked towards her. "Mulder!!" she cried in frustration. "You scared the hell out of me. What do you think you're doing?" "I was just going to ask you the same question." Mulder replied. "I've been waiting for you at that damn restaurant for over an hour wondering where the hell YOU'VE been only to come out looking for you and find that you've been hanging out in a bar." Mulder could feel his temper rising. How dare she laugh with complete strangers then pull that no nonsense professional FBI agent attitude with him. It was out of his mouth before he could stop it. "Getting to become a little bit of a habit with you isn't it Scully? Pick up any serial killers tonight?" Shit... Shit, shit, shit. He saw her flinch as if he had hit her and then even worse he saw her eyes narrow and her face slowly turn from porcelain pale to dark angry red. He'd seen Scully angry before but he had never had the full force of her fury directed at him. How dare he. How dare he. How dare he bring that up. Scully was so angry she was shaking. He had no right to bring that night up. It had been her personal business and he had no damn right to throw it back at her to score cheap points. When she finally spoke her voice was quiet but full of venom. "Mulder, who made you my keeper?" she said. "Who gave you the right to try and run my life? I don't have to report my whereabouts to you and I don't have to ask your permission to have a private life. You've sure as hell always done what you've pleased without telling me so I think it's only fair that you extend me the same courtesy. Is that clear, Mulder." "Scully, I was worried about you" Mulder was feeling about as small as it was possible for a 6ft man to be. "I'm sorr..." "I don't want to hear it Mulder." She wasn't holding back anything now. "I don't want you concerned looks or you sympathy or your damn guilt about what's happened to me. I'm not your sister, Mulder. You don't need to take care of me and you can't make up for loosing her by trying to save me. Go back to your aliens and your freaks of nature and your fucking pornos! I don't want you here." "Then what do you want from me Scully?" His face had paled as she had continued her tirade but with a glimmer of hope he thought he could detect the underlying meaning in her words. Scully stared at him open mouthed as he softly voiced his question. Typical. With his psychologists insight he had asked the one question that would, if she answered it truthfully, either shatter the walls they had so carefully built around themselves or create a chasm between them so wide they would never be able to bridge it. Sadly she looked up at her tall good looking partner who was everything she had ever wanted and gave him the only answer she was sure of. "Nothing you can ever give me." "Scully..." "I'm going home. Walking home." And with that she turned and walked away from him only allowing the tears to fall when she was sure he had not followed her. 4/5 Mulder stood on the sidewalk in the cool night air for a long time after Scully had left thinking about the things she had said. Thinking about her. He'd never met anyone like Scully before. Her intelligence, her honesty, her commitment to the things she believed in. Her loyalty to him. Perceptive too. "Aliens, freaks of nature and pornos" Well she really nailed that one he thought with a wry smile, remembering how bleak his life was before she had been made his partner. How could he have been so stupid as to say the things he'd said? Actually he had a pretty good idea of why he had bought up Ed Jerse. Jealousy, pure and simple. The thought of Scully in the arms of that guy still made his blood boil even after all this time. He'd tried telling himself at the time that it was concern for her well being and anger at her for putting herself in a dangerous situation, but who was he kidding. It was the same with the way he put his arm around her "protectively" when they were walking around crime scenes. Protective my ass, he thought, it's just another way I say "hands off - mine" to everyone who sees us. "Nothing you can ever give me." It wasn't an answer but he knew what she wanted from him. Every time she had reached out for him he turned away. Oh sure he was the dutiful partner, the best friend who was always looking out for her well being but there were times when he had known exactly what she wanted and had turned his back on her. Never completely though. He couldn't let her go completely. He'd always kept her emotionally tied to him even knowing he wasn't giving her what she needed. God, what a selfish bastard I've been, he thought. "What the hell's the big deal? I've faced down creatures straight out of my worst nightmares and I'm scared to do the one thing I've been dreaming about since I met her." 5/5 Five minutes later he climbed out of his car at her apartment. He used his key to enter the foyer of the building but stopped when he reached her door and knocked loudly. "Mulder, I really don't have the strength to fight with you anymore tonight" she said as she opened the door, knowing that at this time of night it could only be him. She had changed into a t-shirt over leggings and her eyes were slightly red. She looked worn out. Fragile. "I haven't come to fight Scully" he said, reaching out a hand to touch the curve of her cheek with his fingers. "I just came to tell you I think maybe you're wrong about my having nothing to give you." Tilting her chin up with his fingers he bent his head to plant a soft kiss on her lips. His arms encircled her and she reached up to weave her fingers in his hair. His lips became demanding and she responded to him instantly, revelling in the feel of his arms around her and his body pressed against hers. When he finally broke the kiss he held her in his arms looking down at her lovely face. She was smiling at him. Bending down again he whispered one word in her ear before turning and walking out of her apartment. After she had closed and locked the door she leaned against it, still smiling, thinking her partner and the one word he had whispered. The word that gave her hope for their future. "Maybe" .............................................................THE END.......................................................................