From: ephemeral@ephemeralfic.org
Date: 1 Dec 2004 19:35:36 -0000
Subject: Little Mulders Harrowing Experience by Kathy Foote
Source: direct

Reply To: kmfoote@charter.net


Title: Little Mulder's Harrowing Experience
Date: October 26, 2004
Author: Kathy Foote
Rating: PG
Category: mild MSR and MT, Humor
Summary: I think the title speaks for itself
Disclaimer: Unfortunately, these characters are the property of 
Chris Carter, 1013 Productions, and Twentieth Century Fox.  I 
wish they were mine, but they aren't.
Authors' note: This story was inspired by the November 'Do I 
have to show/tell Scully embarrassing injury' fic challenge at 
Mulder's Refuge.  I had already submitted an entry, so this is a 
bonus.
Archive:  Sure thing, I'd be honored, but it would be nice if you 
dropped me a note letting me know.
Thanks: To Emmy and the guys at Mulder's Refuge who inspire 
me, to my Mom who tirelessly proofreads and listens to me 
endlessly talking about the story, and to Vickie Moseley, my 
fabulous beta.

Feedback should be sent to kmfoote@charter.net.
 

Little Mulder's Harrowing Experience

Mulder's Apartment - 7:15am

Mulder was running late.  That cheap Radio Shack alarm clock 
was useless.  Of all mornings, why did he have to oversleep this 
morning?  Scully would be here to pick him up for work 
promptly at 7:30am and she was rarely late; if anything she was 
habitually early.  She was usually sitting in her car, waiting for 
him, when he exited the apartment building.

He rushed through his shower, shampooing and conditioning 
his hair.  Stepping out, he grabbed a towel and quickly dried off.  
He rubbed the towel through his hair to get the excess moisture 
out, so it wouldn't drip all over his clean dry body.

Racing back into the bedroom, he glanced at his clock.  7:25am.  
Damn, he would really have to hurry.  She was pretty sore at 
him the last time he was late.  "Traffic is a tricky thing", she 
said, "five minutes late can make an amazing difference".  She 
then proceeded to explain to him what would happen the next 
time he was late.  He donned a pair of black boxers and grabbed 
his slacks from the closet.  7:28am.  He was never going to 
make it.

Scully pulled up to the front of Mulder's building.  Of course 
there was no sign of him, but she was a few minutes early; two 
minutes to be exact.  She would give him a few minutes before 
she called him.

Mulder practically ran back to the bathroom to complete his 
morning ritual.  He dragged the comb through his hair, styling it 
wet, since there was no time to dry it.  He still had to shave and 
brush his teeth, but he didn't have time to do them both.  
Skinner couldn't stand it when he didn't shave; commenting on 
it on more than one occasion, but he couldn't stand to not brush 
his teeth.  Scully hated it when he didn't do either one.  It 
would take longer to shave than it would to brush his teeth.  
Hell, in the amount of time he had thought about it, he could 
probably have already done one or both of them.  He decided to 
shave first and then brush his teeth.  If he ran out of time, he 
would just have to brush his teeth at the office.  He leaned out 
the door to catch another glance at the clock.  7:35am.  Shit!  
She was probably sitting downstairs right now, getting madder by 
the minute.

Scully watched the clock click over to 7:35.  Now he was late 
and she decided to give him a call to rush him along.  She dialed 
his home number and listened to it ring, until the answering 
machine picked up.  "Mulder if you are not there, you had better 
be on your way down here.  If you're there, you better have a 
damn good excuse for being late."
 
Mulder decided that he had an urgent call from nature.  In fact, 
it has been calling to him since he woke up, but he had been too 
busy to stop and relieve himself.  After thinking about it, he 
decided there is no way he could wait until he got to the Hoover 
building.  He might as well get it over with, so he could finish 
getting ready.  He heard his phone beginning to ring.  Knowing 
it was Scully, he didn't worry about answering it.  She would 
just yell at him for being late, which of course would make him 
later.  Unfortunately in his rush to hurry, he didn't get 
everything tucked back in and caught himself in the zipper of 
his slacks.  Pain immediately shot through him, bringing tears to 
his eyes.  When he looked down, he saw 'Little Mulder' caught 
in the teeth of the zipper.  Oh my God, could it get any worse.  

He tried to gently pull the zipper down, but it didn't move.  The 
pain was excruciating.  Think!  What to do.  Every movement 
he made, pulled the zipper teeth against his tender flesh, 
bringing more tears to his eyes.  Think!  Scully had to be here 
by now.  If he didn't get free and downstairs soon, she would 
come up here with the intention of kicking his ass.  He had to 
get out of this predicament before she came up here.

Five more minutes had passed and there was still no sign of 
him.  Scully decided to try his cell phone, but again there was 
no answer.  Her Mulder alarm went off and she tried his home 
phone again, but still got the answering machine.  Now she was 
really worried.  Maybe something was wrong.  She decided to 
head upstairs to check on him.

Mulder could hear the phone ringing again.  It had to be Scully.  
She wouldn't wait downstairs much longer.  He had to think of 
something.  He began to look around his bathroom for 
something to use to lubricate the zipper.  Let's 
see...toothpaste...no...shaving cream...no...shampoo or 
conditioner...maybe...hair gel...better.  Mulder grabbed the 
closest item; the hair gel.  He squeezed a glob into his palm and 
used his fingers to smear it around the area caught in the zipper 
teeth.  It burned like hell, but didn't seem to help; he still 
couldn't get himself loose.  He reached for the shampoo and 
conditioner.  He tried them both with the same effect.  Now it 
was time to panic.  He was running out of options.

Scully hurried up to Mulder's apartment and banged on the 
door.  When she didn't get an answer, she pulled out her key 
and unlocked the door.  Drawing her weapon, she pushed the 
door open and entered the apartment.  She checked the kitchen, 
and then headed back to the living room.  All was quiet and 
there were no signs of a trouble, but where the hell was he?  She 
was moving towards the bedroom when she noticed the light 
was on behind the closed bathroom door.

She knocked on the door and heard a yelp from inside.  
"Mulder?  Mulder are you in there?"

Mulder didn't know what to do.  Suddenly there was a knock on 
the bathroom door.  It startled him, making him jump, which 
just pulled on the trapped appendage, causing more pain.  
"Shit...Shit!...she knows I'm in here".  With a shaky voice, he 
answered her.  "Yeah Scully?"

With a sigh of relief, Scully replaced her gun in its holster.  
"Is everything all right?  I was worried about you when you didn't 
answer your phones."

Mulder thought to himself...was everything all right?  Of 
course, it wasn't all right.  It couldn't be further from all 
right.  What the hell was he going to do?  He'd tried everything 
he could think of.  Scully was his last hope, but how can he tell 
her about this, much less show her.  He stood there racked with 
indecision.

Scully banged on the door again and there was another yelp 
from inside.  "Mulder...you either open this door or I'm going 
to break it in."

"Ok...just wait...I'm coming out."  He grabbed a towel and 
wrapped it around his waist.  He took a look at himself in the 
mirror and just shook his head.  What a sight.  No shirt, no 
shoes, dress slacks, red-rimmed eyes, and a towel.  She was 
going to love this.  Finally, taking a deep breath, he slowly 
opened the door.

Scully was standing there in the open door with her arms folded 
across her chest.  "Mulder!  What the hell are you do...  Mulder?  
What's wrong?  Are you sick?  You look terrible."

"I have a...a little problem...Scully, and...before I...before I 
tell you about it, you have to promise not to laugh."

"Laugh?  Mulder I wouldn't laugh.  What is it?"

"Well...I was running late this morning and I...I was rushing to 
get ready and...in my hurry...I...I..."

"What?!"

Mulder removed the towel to reveal his predicament and 
Scully's eyes widened in total surprise.

"I got 'Little Mulder' caught in my zipper and I can't get him 
out!  OK!  Scully, you have to help me...Please!  It really, 
really hurts.  I've tried everything I can think of and nothing 
works."

"Calm down, Mulder...you need to calm down.  Let me take a 
look."  Scully knelt down to get a better view of his injury.  She 
gave a little tug on the zipper pull and Mulder hissed in pain. 

"Take it easy Scully...it's very...sensitive."

She discovered that there was some type of goop all over the 
front of his slacks.  "Mulder, what is all over the front of your 
slacks?"

"I tried to lubricate the zipper.  All I had was shampoo and 
conditioner.  I even tried hair gel, but it only stung like hell.  
I couldn't get the zipper to budge."

"Maybe we need to get you to the ER...have a doctor look at it."

"Noooo!  You are kidding, aren't you?  Please Scully, say you're 
kidding.  You're a doctor...you do it."

"Well, I'm going to have to pull the zipper down in one quick 
movement.  I won't tell you it's not going to hurt, but it'll hurt 
a lot less than slowly trying to pull it down or trying to loosen 
it by applying a bunch of _beauty_ products.  Let's get you on the 
bed, so we can get this over with."

He slowly walked...well waddled would be a better 
description...to the bed.  Each step he took caused him to 
grimace in pain.  Scully had to suppress a little giggle.  She 
knew it must really hurt, but only Mulder could do something 
like this.  She grabbed the small medicine kit from underneath 
his sink just in case she needed it.

He lay down on the bed and prepared himself.  She had to wipe 
the goop off the zipper pull, so she could get a good grip.  She 
had to do this in one pull.  "Ok, Mulder.  I'm going to do this on 
a count of three".

He closed his eyes and gripped the bed sheets in his fists.  "I 
guess I am ready...just...just try and be gentle."

Scully grabbed the zipper pull.  "One...two!"  On the count of 
two, she yanked down the zipper, freeing him from his 
entrapment.

He let out a bloodcurdling scream as the zipper comes loose.  
"What the hell happened to three?"  His eyes were still clenched 
shut and tears were streaming down his cheeks.

She moved up to comfort him.  She wiped the tears from his 
face cooing, "I know.  I cheated Mulder, but it's all over now.  
You're free."

He did feel a little better without the constant pinch, but he was 
concerned about any damage.  Without opening his eyes, he 
whimpered, "Is...is _he_ OK?"

She smiled as she moved to examine the area.  "It's just a small 
cut and abrasion.  I believe 'Little Mulder' will be just fine."

He let out a huge sigh of relief.  Thank God!  Of all things, this 
was the one part of his body he did not want permanently 
disabled.

"Here, let me put some ointment on it.  It'll take the sting away 
and help it heal faster."

'Little Mulder' began to respond to Scully's gentle touches.  
Mulder immediately sat up, grabbed her hands, and pulled them 
away.  "Ummm...thanks Scully, but I better take care of that.  
He's had a very busy morning and doesn't need any more 
stimulation."

She smiled at him and nodded in understanding as she rose 
from the bed.  She suggested that he stay home today; to 
recuperate from his 'accident'.  She could explain to Skinner 
what happened...or she could just say that he was not feeling 
well and leave it at that.  She would keep the details between 
them.  Mulder agreed.  He wasn't sure he could even walk, let 
alone sit at his desk all day.  This whole ordeal had completely 
worn him out.

"I'll come by after work and bring dinner.  How does Chinese 
sound?"

"Ooooh yeah...will you bring Kung Pao Chicken and extra egg 
rolls?"

"You got it.  Now...put that ointment on and try to get some 
rest."

She turned to leave, but paused at the bedroom door "Oh, and 
Mulder?  You and 'Little Mulder' try not to get into any more 
trouble." 

"Yes, ma'am.  We'll do our best."

The End