From: "Leslie Cummings" Date: Wed, 13 Nov 2002 14:07:08 +0000 Subject: No Subject Provided Source: revision Title: Lovers In A Dangerous Time Author: Barenaked Bostonian Rating: PG Disclaimer: I'm sorry, but I wouldn't WANT to own Duchovny's sorry ass! However, Gillian is my god so... BNL are mine! All mine!! MUAH HA HA... no... I JUST MADE YOU SAY UNDERWEAR!!!!!!! Distribution: Surely, and yes indeedily do! Dedication: To Michelle, who, as it turns out, was about ten rows away from me at Mix Holiday Hoedown. Yeah, we rocked out to BNL who is the best band in the world! No competition, okay well maybe... 12/3!!!! Summary: Mulder and Scully admire their child. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ I'm sitting on the edge of the bed waiting for it all to fall around me. How is that I'm holding this tiny thing in my arms? How is that I can love him so much and I haven't been with him for more than an hour? How am I a father? I ponder this as he latches onto my finger and pulls it to his mouth. I'm looking at him, but not looking at him. How, how is it that this wonderful life was created by me? I still can't understand how it's possible. I am kind of depressed that this could not have happened the old fashioned way. Yeah, like Scully would have let it. On my dead... Nevermind. I softly smile at him as I hear a shuffling in front of me. I don't need to look up to know it's her. Who else would it be? I stare at the infant in my arms, and then to the woman leaning on the door jamb. She looks worn, but so amazingly beautiful, I can't seem to pull my eyes away. I smile at her, and her lips curl to match mine. She walks over to me in her ice blue satin pajamas and black fluffy slippers. She's so... perfect. I can't believe how dangerous it is to be alive right now. It's as if... it's as if our being here defines some sort of unwritten rule that has now been broken. The culprits are being searched for. Thank God they haven't found them yet. She takes the child from my arms and cradles him to her breast. She opens her top and the child suckled contentedly, and Scully's eyes slip closed. She hums something unintelligible and I damn my self for the tears that spring to my eyes. I hate it, I hate it that I love her so damn much. Her eyes pop open. As always, she can sense my eyes on her. She looks up at me in quiet alarm. I realize again (as tonight seems to be the night of epiphanies) that we never take the time to open our eyes to see what's going on around us. How sad that seems now. How ironic, that I went searching all over looking for the truth. While, it was right in front of me. It was like one minute I was waiting for the sky to fall and the next thing I knew I was dazzled by the beauty of it all. It was only beautiful, only, when she was with me. Oh Christ on crutches, I'm getting all sentimnetal now. Damn. It seems like the hours are flying by now. It's strange, because it hasn't been more than an hour since I have arrived at her apartment. I do know, however, that it has been exactly... 48 minutes and 37...no 47 seconds, since I kissed her. It seems the hours become shorter as the days go by. We never get to stop and open our eyes. Mine have been glued shut for the past eight years... Her body, it's so much more than her own now. So much more, it's a vessel for another now. It's touch and it's taste. It's fragile and her hair looks like lace as it swipes the baby's forehead delicately. I want to reach out and touch her, but I just watch her breathe, not content to spoil the moment. Never a breath you can't afford to waste... "I love you." I whisper into the air, into our son, into her. And she looks up at me, her eyes brimmed with long held tears. She smiles a little smile and looks back at Will. "I love you too. But none of that sentimental stuff, that was never us." She smiles up at me, and I know she is sincere, she just doesn't want me to feel out of place. My head now lays lightly on hers as she stand there, feeding our son. I wish there were more words like beautiful, so then I could go on for longer about her. It doesn't matter when or where it happened, but now I'm in deep. Why do I feel like this is some kind of crime? To be with her, it shouldn't be, but it feels like a crime. She moves to put William down in the cradle that is resting at the foot of the bed. She tucks him in gently and then stands over the crib for long minutes examining him. It doesn't take him long to get to sleep and when he does, she sighs. She moves and sits on the bed, I follow. She turns to me and lays her head on my shoulder. "I think I need some sleep" Suddenly, I feel like I'm intruding. She quells my fears when she says, "And if it's all the same to you Mulder, I'd like you to stay." She looks up at me expectantly and the tears suddenly return. "Oh, sure. I'll grab the couch." I begin to slowly get up when she stops me with a hand to my shoulder. "Mulder, we both know... we both..." What she is trying to say is hard for her, I know, but I need to hear her ask. She has to ask me. It has to be of her own will... "Stay with me tonight." And I can read the message through her eyes. I nod and she moves to shuffle under the covers. I retrieve a pair of boxers and a tee- shirt from her bottom drawn, which is a haven in both of our dressers for the others spare clothes. I take care of what I need to in the bathroom and drop a kiss to William's head before I settle in behind Scully. It feels so right that it's scary. Just laying here like this. I wrap my arms around her waist and she sighs. I feel it come out of her, in a wave. I softly rub her mid drift because I know she has something to say, and I want to coax it out of her. But I am content to lay here and wait. Wait and listening to her breath, to our son breath. It sounds like... like.. spirts open to a thrust of grace, their combined breathing. It's sounds strange but that is the only way to describe it. It's good to hear my own breath as well, to know that I am alive and here. With them. "You know Mulder," she starts as she settles back into me. "Nothing good comes without some kind of fight." She states matter of factly. "And our fight has been long and damn hard." "And you have to kick at the darkness 'till it bleeds daylight." I reply. "Don't wax poetic on me Mulder." She says, sounding mock irritated. "I'm not." I reply snugly. "I'm quoting the Barenaked Ladies." This earns a laugh from her and I kiss her temple. Those are the last things I hear, her giggles, before I fall into a perfectly blissful sleep. (HOW RETARDED WAS THAT LAST LINE???) *FIN* I LOVE KEVIN HEARN!!!!! HE ROX!!!!!