From: Scully4946@aol.com
Date: Sun, 3 Jun 2001 15:56:00 EDT
Subject: Makeup Mayhem
Source: direct

F.B.I. Headquarters
2:29 p.m.

Special Agent Dana Scully was sitting at her "desk", watching the clock 
intently. It had been a very rough day and she couldn't wait to go home so 
that she could write a few field reports for Skinner. Scully watched the 
clock's hands go around and around in circles.... past the twelve.....past 
the one.....past the two.......past the four....wait a minute! Past the 
four?! What happened to the three?! Slightly frightened, Scully walked up to 
the clock and noticed that the three was missing. "Oh no!" she though in her 
paranoid fashion. "It's the government. They stole the three from my clock, 
but why?"
It was then that Mulder walked into the office and too scared to talk about 
it, Scully ran screaming out of the room. A little taken by surprise, Mulder 
picked up his portable mirror and started studying the mysterious angle of 
his nose. It was then that he recognized an oversized, mega-huge pimple. So, 
he walked over to Scully area and picked up her forgotten purse. Taking out 
one of her cosmetic thingies, he decided that he would put just a little bit 
of powder to conceal the pimple. Unfortunately, as he sat down and opened to 
container, the chair tipped over (like you couldn't see that one coming. 
Anyone else agree that it's time for a new writer?) and all of the powder 
went flying. Some of it landed in his eye and he screamed,"Oh, it burns! Oh, 
how it burns!" 
Just then, Scully casually walked in (she had somehow managed to block out 
that horrifying moment that had just occurred) and started laughing 
hysterically at the image in front of her. Finally, Mulder gained composure 
of himself and was surprised when he heard Scully screaming once again.
"Scully, it's called a mouse," Mulder stated.
"Hmmm.....if that's the case, then I guess I could freshen up my autopsy 
skills. Mulder, get my knife and card table."
"Um, Scu....?"
"JUST DO IT!" The only reaction that Mulder could get out at the moment was 
running, screaming, out of the room and into Skinner's office. Then, he 
finally passed out from the shock of everything that had happened in less 
then an hour. 
Back in the office, Scully was about to operate on the poor, helpless mouse 
when she suddenly found the urge to sleep. Once asleep, Scully started 
dreaming about her high school days.....

Heimlich High School
11:21 a.m.

"Dana, wake up!" Mrs. Thumper yelled. The rest of the class laughed at her 
and Dana could not keep her cool any loner.
"Why is this so freaking funny? Have you people become so diluted that you'll 
resort to laughing at others when you yourselves are no better? Someday, I 
shall become something important and I'll show you that I can........" Then 
the dream faded and Scully heard the distinct voice of Mulder.
"Yo Scully!" Mulder said. "Skinner just assigned us to a surveillance over 
those Mafia members."
"Whatever," she put her headphones on and began listening to some 
conversations that they pulled off from the telephone wires.
"So Gary, your mom home yet?"
"Nope. I think she's dead."
"Hmmm.....that's cool."
"Yup." 
Scully then sighed from boredom and fell asleep once again. When awakened 
from the beautiful meadows of Switzerland, she yelled,"Stop your infernal 
ways, Lord Zeltkin...!" Looking around to make sure that Mulder hadn't seen 
her unconscious screaming, she turned on the t.v. As she was watching a 
highly fascinating documentary about life-size killer ants who could possibly 
one day kill us all, she heard,"Scully, thank the good dude who lives above! 
Turn it to A & E!"
"But Mulder..."
"Now, you impesticide! I have no time for your infernal antics!"
Fearing Mulder's devilish grin and possibly his Smith and Wesson pointed in 
her face, she changed it just as Mulder's show was ending. Extremely ticked 
off, Mulder stormed out of the room and then listened to Nsync for 18 hours 
straight. To say the least, the next day, he couldn't stop screaming,"No 
strings attached!!!!!".

The moral of this story is that when you have a lot of weird ideas, put them 
in different stories.