From: daphne@xfilesfan.com
Date: Fri, 9 Apr 1999 21:57:51 -0500
Subject: NEW: Mary Sue and the Dragon- pandora2


Title: Mary Sue and the Dragon.

  Starring?
Jackie A. St George
Scully
Mulder
Mary-Sue
SWAT-team
   
Co-Starring?.
The writers
Any other losers who were in the way?
A pair of furry handcuffs

Author:  Pandora2
Email: daphne@xfilesfan.com
Rating: PG anything sharper and you'll poke your eye out.
Violence, swearing, scenes that Fox will definitely make me 
cut?heh heh?just kidding?
Category:  SH
Keywords: none
Spoilers:  maybe?

Summary:  Jackie gets lost during transportation?will the 
writer find her in time?  

Disclaimer:
Jackie St George was kindly loaned to me by Sheryl Martin.  
I also borrowed her handcuffs?hell, I borrowed her too?and 
Marty?but he wasn't really in it so?. I hope she doesn't 
kill me?
Go read her awe strikingly good stories at?.
http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Chamber/7976
You'll be writhing with jealousy.
*grin*

Mulder and Scully are surprisingly not mine, if you didn't 
know that, you're stupid   

Extra space filling bits:
Visit my archive people, you know you want to.  
http://members.tripod.com/~pandorabox_2/index.html


Feedback:
Damnit, yes!  Gimme gimme.  
I worship anyone who gives me feedback  yeeeeeah!  Feedback 
cleanses the mind and soul!  My friends call me nicole?or 
crazy?take your pick. *grin*
**************************************************
Nothing too weird
Pandora2
**************************************************
Friday

BLEEP!

<YOU HAVE MAIL>


To: daphne@xfilesfan.com
From: smartin@blahblah.com
CC:
BCC:


Hey, sure you can borrow Jackie - just send me a copy of 
the story and put
a bit of a disclaimer at the front of the story that you 
asked me for
permission and I gave it - just to let everyone know...

just don't have her do anything TOO weird.

Chuckle...

good luck and take care.


*************************
"Heart of a warrior, mind of a fool... soul of a 
romantic..." - Jackie St.
George
*************************
Come visit The Dragon's Lair at
http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Chamber/7976


"But it's an irrational fear..." Scully, TGTSC



------------------------------------------------------------
----------------

*Thud*

Jackie awoke to an unfamiliar ceiling.  The hustle and 
bustle of other bodies surrounded her.  Her head pounded.

"Daaamn?"

She sat up slowly and took in her surroundings, reaching 
into her pocket for a painkiller.  

<FLIGHT QF747002  BOARDING AT GATE 3 , mate,  QUANTAS 
FLIGHT QF747002  BOARDING AT GATE 3 mate...>

"What the?" 

St. George shook her head violently, and then looked up 
again.  Large glass windows?silly, uncomfortable seats?
hideously patterned carpet?Duty Free?

An airport???

"How'd I get here??"

Her battered backpack was slumped against her legs, her 
well-worn jacket draped across her lap.   Jackie opened her 
bag and looked through the contents, searching for a clue 
as to how and why she was in this airport. 

Okay?. We have my gun, painkillers, gloves, surgical tape, 
wallet, extra clothes, toilet bag?and a piece of paper.

Jackie unfolded the battered scrap of paper and looked over 
it carefully, a note?in unfamiliar handwriting.  Am I 
following up a lead?  

Dear Jackie,
We'll be at the movies if you need us.  Feel free to look 
around.
-Mary-Su?. NICOLE

Who?  Eh, well, she; obviously been given permission to go 
sightseeing, so?why not?

------------------------------------------------------------
---------------
2:59

The girl stood in the arrival lounge holding up a badly 
drawn sign.  "ST GEORGE" it read.   
She huffed and checked her watch again, 3:00.  St.George 
should be here by now.   Maybe the plane was late?

3:10

Okay, now this was getting beyond annoying.  There was 
absolutely nobody left in the arrival bay.   Hadn't Sheryl 
given Jackie the message?  Jeez.  Perhaps she'd gotten lost 
in the airport.  

Nicole stood on her toes and looked around the empty 
room.   Her eyes passed over a dusty backpack, on its side 
lying on the floor.   She walked over to take a closer 
look.  

A wallet?Jaclyn Amanda St George.  

Nicole looked up,  "God Damnit.  She's gone."

------------------------------------------------------------
----------------

Jackie walked briskly down the cracking footpath.  The pain 
in her head had receded, now it just buzzed dully.   She 
looked around herself in confusion.  It looked like 
Washington.  It felt like Washington.  It even smelt like 
Washington?but it wasn't Washington.   So what was it if it 
wasn't what it was??  

She turned a corner and came upon a building that she had 
*surely* seen before.  A line of American flags, flapping 
gently in the breeze.   A red granite sign?J. Edgar Hoover 
Building.  

Sighing with relief, Jackie entered the FBI Building, 
nodding to the desk clerk?who didn't nod back?

"Jeez, must be one of those days?"

St George made her way through the maze of corridors 
towards the basement.  Feeling more confident that 
everything was fine with each step.   Perhaps she had just 
imagined herself to be at the airport, and after all, she 
*hadn't* had that much sleep lately
?For various reasons, she thought with a grin.

Finally she reached the basement office of Fox Mulder and 
Dana Scully.   She knocked on the door, calling  "Everybody 
decent?!"  Before swinging it open and letting herself 
in.   

?To a dusty cobwebbed storage room.

"Holy?"

------------------------------------------------------------
-------------

3:30

Dana Scully stood with Fox Mulder and various other agents 
in the Airport arrival lounge.  The scene had been sealed 
off and witnesses were being tracked.  

Listening with one ear to her cellphone she pointed to some 
eager SWAT team members.  "Okay, now I want You, you, you, 
you and you to come with me, We'll search the FBI Building 
and the area around it.   Mulder, I want you to gather any 
witnesses?" she listened to her cellphone; 
< " I was told that she'd be here on time without fail  
*sniff* what am I going to tell her if she's gone missing? 
*snuffle* please, find her as quickly as you can?">
"Don't worry Ma'am we'll keep Jackie as our top priority.  
She probably went for a walk and got lost. We'll find her."
< "Is there anything I should do to help?">
"I suggest that you contact her Guardian and inform her 
about the situation."
< "?">
"Ma'am?"
< "Oh.uh yes. Yes.  I'll tell her?god help me.">
"Pardon?"
< "Nothing, thankyou Agent Scully, please contact me if 
there is any development.">

------------------------------------------------------------
------------------
5:55

< "WHAT?!">

Nicole cringed and held the phone away from her ear.

"Really?uh?I'm sorry Sheryl?I?uh?. I went to pick her up 
and?uh?she wasn't there?and um?."

< "She wasn't there? >

The voice was deadly. An icy whisper with intent to kill.

< "How could she have not been there unless she was 
KIDNAPPED?  Huh?  You didn't think of THAT did you??  I 
told you to be CAREFUL!?>

"No no no! Sheryl it wasn't like that?I uh?really, um I 
didn't think anything would go wrong and the um?well 
actually?"

The voice turned suspicious and icy cold.
< "What??  What aren't you telling me here?  Come on spit 
it out before I come and make you do it?.">

Nicole glanced at the bathroom door. 
"uuuuhokay."

< "Well?">

"Well?the truth is?I er?I was drugged."

< "You were drugged.">

The voice was disbelieving.

"Ok..okay that's not really the truth?I was with my b-my 
friend at the time and we were a little er- busy doing-
stuff and so I told Jackie that she could uh-wait at the 
airport and we'd-um come back for her later?"

< "You left her ALONE? Jesus she's YOUR guest! I told you 
to TAKE CARE of her! And what do you do?  You tell her to 
wait at the airport so you can do –stuff- with your –
friend-!  This is unacceptable.">

The voice was deadly again, its tone promised a thousand 
slow deaths and maybe more.

< "If you don't find Jackie St.George by Twelve o'clock 
tonight?if she isn't back here by tomorrow morning?I swear, 
I'll have EVERY fanfic reader flaming your ass from here to 
Alabama! Do you understand?">

"Uh?Sheryl?are you sure about that? Can we?uh. Can we make 
a compromise..?"

< "Sure?how do you feel about steak knives and severed 
heads?" >

Nicole blanched.  

"Yes ma'am Jackie will be back tomorrow.  I promise."

< "Good.  I knew you'd understand." >
------------------------------------------------------------
------------------
5:56

Nicole left her apartment hastily, she had to find Jackie, 
or her ass was gone.  Suddenly she was grabbed from 
behind.  There was no time to scream.   She was bound and 
gagged and loaded in the back of a car.  She caught a 
glimpse of the face before the lid closed with an ominous 
thud.  Mary-Sue.

5:58

Mary-Sue grinned with the joy of only the psychotic.  Her 
evil twisted plans were going well. She'd tricked St.George 
with the letter, kidnapped Mulder, and now she had 
Nicole.   Oh how she loathed Nicole.  She was good.  She 
had writing talent.  Mary-Sue resented that.  She resented 
anyone who was better than her.  Getting Jackie to get the 
Martin woman was her chance to overthrow one of the best 
writers in Xfilesland.   Mary-Sue would NEVER be defeated.  
Jackie was a Mary-sue in disguise.  Mary-Sue would tolerate 
no competition.  Mary-Sue was THE one.  Mary- Sue was the 
ONLY Mary-Sue. And anyone who challenged that was due for 
death.  And Mulder?well, he was just a pain in the ass. 


6:00

"Hut hut hut hut hut hut hut hut hut hut hut hut!"

"Go! Go! Now! Now!"

Swat teams stormed the FBI building, Saint Scully wielding 
her flaming sword?uh that is?her cellphone.  Yes. Anyway, 
federal agents flooded the corridors of the Hoover building 
in search of the missing St George.  

"Agent Scully! I think we have something!" 

Scully turned and hurried over to the agent.

"I think this is hers."  He said.

Scully took the pistol and ran her fingers over the smooth 
wood.  

". 22 yes. It probably does belong to St George."  She 
looked around suspiciously.  "Although it does seem rather 
convenient for it to be here?don't you think?"

A blank stare.

"Oh right..well yes, uh I think this means she's been 
kidnapped.  Probably by a hideous plot device.  Jackie 
never goes anywhere without her gun."

The agent handed Scully a cellphone.  "It's for you Agent 
Scully.  Whoever it is won't identify themselves, but has 
requested to talk to you."

"Thankyou Agent Bob."  Scully took the phone and put it to 
her ear.   "Agent Scully."

< "Agent Scully.  This is Nicole's evil twin Mary Sue.  I 
have taken control of this story and you'll do as I say.  
Is that clear?">

Scully's eyebrows rose.  "Evil twin?  Who the hell are 
you?  What are you talking about?"

< "Oh-ho, you know *exactly* what I'm talking about Agent 
Scully.  Don't play dorky with me.  I have Jackie St 
George, Agent Mulder *and* the real Nicole here with me in 
an abandoned warehouse on the I-95 next to the old roadside 
Quick-e-mart?oops!  Um, I mean?I have the people you seek.  
Meet my demands or they all die.">

Scully swallowed and shut off the phone.  She turned and 
shouted at the rest of the team.   "Okay people listen up!  
It appears that St George, Mulder and Nicole have been 
kidnapped and are being held hostage by one Mary-Sue.   She 
says that she will kill them if we don't meet her demands.  
Now, she's bound to call again any minute now, so Rodgers, 
Bob and Jones, I want you to set up a tracer, Kelly, 
Farrady, I want you to prepare the SWAT van, and Jimmy, you 
get the hospital on standby in case there are casualties."

"Hut hut hut hut hut hut hut hut hut hut hut!"

The swat members went to work performing the tasks set by 
Scully, Rodgers Bob and Jones wired bits and pieces 
together for the tracer while Scully waited for the 
incoming call. 

Tense moments awaited.

And waited.

Just a little longer.

Riiiiiiiiing!  Riiiiiiiing!

"Yah! Holy sheesus!"  Scully fumbled with the cellphone to 
turn it on.  

Rodgers, Bob and Jones turned on the tracer.

"Scully."

< "Agent Scully, hello.  It's Mary-Sue again.  Are you 
ready to do as I say?" >

Rodgers flicked a switch, the tracer started tracing?. 
Washington, Alabama?. Kentucky?

"Yes, Mary –Sue.  What do you want?"

?Mexico City?Dallas?Canberra?

<  "Y'all better not be tracing my call y'know.  I'm a 
wired bomb ready to go off?">

?Newfoundland?St. Louis?Dopkje?

"Uh...no, of course not.  Why would we be tracing your Heh-
heh call?"

?Mir space station?. Air Japan?Mount Fuji?

< "Because you're FBI and I'm a terrorist.  Why not? >

?Saturn ring 262853286?Veda?

"Oh, right.  Anyway?what are your demands?  The FBI will 
not give you anything at all.  You know this, of course?"

?Viking2?Voyager?Casey Base Antarctica?

< "Well?yes?I do actually, but I'm a hideous plot device.  
I have to keep readers tense and waiting. It's my job." >

?Southampton?Djakarta?Delhi?

"How are the hostages?  Are they hurt?"

?Portland?New Jersey?

< "They're fine?St George looks like she want's to kick my 
ass though.  I think Mulder's gonna pee himself.  Nicole?
she's just worried about the ass flaming she'll get when 
she posts this.">

?Chicken?Area 51?

Rodgers, Bob and Jones gave a thumbs up, signaling that 
they'd found the callers location.  

?I 95.

Scully grinned triumphantly  "okay, that's great bye!"

< "Hey! Wait! I haven't told you my?'

------------------------------------------------------------
------------------

7:41

Screeeeeeeeeech!

"Hut hut hut hut hut hut hut hut hut hut hut hut hut hut 
hut hut!"

The swat team efficiently unloaded itself out of the SWAT 
van and went to the heavy padlocked doors of the old 
abandoned warehouse.   Scully stood next to the guys with 
the battering ram.  "On the count of three boys, One?Two?
Three!"

WHAM!

The old doors burst inwards and the SWAT team poured in, 
hutting and wielding their automatics like a flock of 
crazed avenger angels.  

"FREEZE!  FBI, SWAT!"

Mary-sue froze and stared at the nasty looking good guys.  
"Hey!" she whined,  "You said you weren't tracing my call!"

"I lied.  Trust no one Mary sue."

Suddenly the evil Mary-Sue ran over and grabbed Jackie; she 
held a glimmering steak knife to her throat in a terror 
inspiring way.  She magically taped explosives to the 
shaken and more-than-mildly-pissed-off Nicole and Mulder.

"One step closer and they all get it!  First St.George, 
then the other two, Swish! BAM!"

She pressed the knife on the flat side against St.Georges 
throat.

"Put your weapon down."  Scully ordered.  

Mary-Sue grinned, maniacal light blazed in her crazy eyes.

"No, I don't want to."

"Damnit, I said put it down.  Do it."  Scully stepped 
forward, hand held out.

Mary-Sue pulled Jackie back, turning the knife towards the 
veins of St.George's neck.  "Not a step closer!  I'll kill 
her! I'll kill them all!"

(In the background, Nicole freed her gagged mouth.  She was 
pissed off.  If Mary-Sue cut Jackie, there would be Hell to 
pay.
And she'd be cleaning up the mess.)

Scully stepped forward.  "Mary-Sue, this is your last 
warning.  Put it down."

"NO!"   The knife grazed her skin, but didn't draw blood.   
Jackie's eyelids fluttered, her head was pounding like an 
avalanche.  She needed release.  If only this idiot would 
draw blood already!

Scully realized that Mary-Sue was not, in fact joking.  She 
went for the other approach.  " Okay.  Mary-Sue, I want you 
to calm down.  Caaaaalm down.  You don't want to hurt these 
people; they've done nothing to you.  Look at the suffering 
you've created.  St George is tired, Mulder is blaming 
himself, and Nicole is pissed off.   Don't kill them Mary-
Sue.  It doesn't have to end this way.  Come on, give the 
knife to me."

"Naaaaauhuuuuuugh!"   Mary Sue sliced the knife deep into 
Jackie's throat, static filled the air.   St George's blood 
trickled down her neck.  The power filled her.  Jackie 
broke from Mary-Sue's evil grasp and snapped her ties.  

The crazed Mary-Sue wielded her knife in fury, and lunged 
at St George.    Jackie stopped the blow before it came and 
threw Mary-Sue to the ground.  But the crazed woman would 
not give up.  She stood, taking up her fallen weapon and 
struck again Jackie took up a handy piece of wood and 
bopped Mary-Sue over the head with it.   Mary-Sue sank to 
the ground with a sigh.

The static faded, and stopped.  The dragon retreated back 
into its human shelter, letting the body rest, Jackie went 
limp, and everything was black.

------------------------------------------------------------
------------------
Monday

8:16

"Oooooh  man. What happened?"
St George blinked her eyes against the glowing lamplight, 
taking in the couch, television, and coffee table.

Scully's head appeared in her line of sight.  "Hey."

"Hey yourself Dana.  What happened?  My brain?fuzzy."

Dana smiled.  "Well I'm not surprised.  You had Twelve 
glasses of Guinness two nights ago."

"Two nights ago?"

"Yeah, you've been blanked out on my couch for two nights.  
Sorry, I couldn't get Marty down to come and watch you.  I 
didn't want to leave you at your place for so long?"

"I was that bad?"

"That bad."

Jackie grinned.  "Hey, sorry to do that to you Dana.  So?
did anything happen while I was sleeping?"

Scully quirked her eyebrow.  "More than you will ever know."

"Damn. I missed out on the fun again?"

"Every time."

"You two really should, y'know.   Anyway, I had the 
strangest dream?"

"Yeah?"

"Definitely?even weirder than the one where we fought the 
dragon."

"Oh really?  Do tell."

"Well, sit back then?this'll blow your mind."

------------------------------------------------------------
------------------
Monday

TO: smartin@blahblah.com
FROM: daphne@xfilesfan.com
CC:
BCC:

Hey!

Thanks for letting me borrow Jackie.  She was a gem.  I 
hope you like the story.  After all, I did promise?nothing 
too weird.
 ;)

Kawaii!

Pandora2

***************************************************
                                  THE     END
***************************************************

Sooooo people?  What did y'all think?  Are you baffled? Are 
you amused?  Are you alarmed, ready to run screaming, for 
the hills?

Well c'mon then, gimme feedback!  Please?  I'll dance on 
your graves if you don't?

daphne@xfilesfan.com



Visit Sheryl Martins' FANTASTIC archive brimming full with 
amazing tales of Jackie St George,  Downtime, MSmut and a 
whole lot more!!!  Visit in the next five minutes and 
you'll get this free set of steak knives?well you wont 
actually?but hey, it's the thought that counts.  *grin*
http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Chamber/7976


Visit my SPIFFY archive brimming full of?.well?weird shit 
really?.just visit it anyway, my friends call me Nicole..or 
crazy?whatever.  Sign my guestbook too! 
http://members.tripod.com/~pandorabox_2/index.html