From: "kim1013" Date: Mon, 2 Apr 2001 16:55:28 -0500 Subject: Memories Are Just Where You Laid Them (1/1) Source: xff TITLE: Memories Are Just Where You Laid Them Contains "Spell Broken" AUTHOR: kim1013 kim1013@netzero.net DISTRIBUTION: Sure, but let me know where it goes. DISCLAIMER: Although no names are mentioned, they don't belong to me! SPOILERS: up to TINH RATING: R CLASSIFICATION: V, MA SUMMARY: In a place far away, a man thinks of what was left behind. A soliloquy of sorrow. Notes at end. ~~~~~~~~~~ I am strapped in and pinned down like a frog on a dissection tray. I know that I am gone from all that I know and all that is familiar. I know that I miss you. I know that it hurts too much to think of you for long. I know that I will return to you. I suppose it a blessing that I cannot feel the pain. If I could feel the pain, it would make this more bearable. Then I would know that I am nothing more than a plaything for cruel beings. Numbness keeps me detached. This place of dark crevasses and blinding light keeps me cold. Warmth only comes when I think of you. I won't allow myself to cry. My eyes burn with tears I refuse to shed. I feel I brought this upon myself. I left you behind, thinking I could spare you further hurt. I was wrong. I am filleted and cast under a burning light. All I am is a piece of meat, to be poked and pulled and provoked to yell out your name. My salvation. Not too long ago, I wanted to see you so badly. By some miracle I found myself in our office. But you were not there. Instead, a haggard-faced stranger hunched over the computer on my desk. Could I be replaced so easily? He looked up from the desk and stared right at me. Disheartened, I find myself back on display to monsters and in the process of another test. What could they possibly learn from lasering the roof of my mouth? ~~~~~~~~~ More time passes. They grow more brutal in their quest for whatever the hell it is they're looking for in me. Your face is fading from my mind. When I return, you will help me remember the happy times. I think you are prominent in these memories The prongs in my face hurt. They don't care what I can feel anymore. They don't care if I do. I stare up into the endless white light. I fear I am going blind because this is all I can see. They will not see me weak. Why the hell did I ever think it would be a "learning experience" to get abducted by aliens? I should've put that out of my mind when they returned you in less than perfect condition. But my ever-curious mind could not let it go. And you know what they say about curiosity. I hope I survive this. If only I could see you for just a moment. . . You walk in the door of this dark hotel room and try the light switch. Flick, flick, flick. Turn around. Made of hope and shadows and dreams and light, I stand. And wait. And watch. A look. Mouth open, as if you want to say something. I'm with you, I think. I wish I could speak. Tell you things I've only dreamed about. Whisper to you: never stop believing. You still struggle with words. And I still look at you. I am hidden in darkness and light. But I could never hide from you. ou see me in twilight-light and all places in between. ~~~~~~ They have never touched me. I have never felt the smoothness or the reptilian caress of seeking appendages. I have never been allowed to see a glassy-eyed, nose-less face. These would be a comfort to me. Then I would know that I am not alone here. Their coldness and anonymity leave me longing for the brush of your warm fingers across my face. The feel of your soft lips on my forehead, like before. Your name is like a soothing song in my mind. Your colors fade in and out of my remembrance. Water falls from sky blue. The color of a rusty sunset breezes across an alabaster field. Gravity weighs down the cherries of your lips. When I am free, I'll be with you again. And know that I share my life with someone wonderful. We will never be alone. FINIS Notes: the title comes from a Fuel song, "Hemorrhage" Thanks to Amy for the beta and to the folks at IWTB for their support!