From: Diana Fowley Date: Tue, 13 Feb 2001 18:22:20 -0800 (PST) Subject: xfc: FIC: The Miracle, post episode, MSR Source: xfc Title: The Miracle by: Agent Diana Fowley Email: agtdianafowley@yahoo.com website: www.geocities.com/agtdianafowley/index.html Category: MSR, post episode Keywords: MSR Rating: PG but I am planning a sequel that is NC17 Spoilers: This takes place following Per Manum which none of us have seen. There are definite spoilers. Feedback: It's a great payment since I do this for free. Feedback will motivate me to write a sequel) Summary: This is what happen after Scully gives Mulder the news that the IVF didn't work. The Miracle Agent Diana Fowley "Never give up on a miracle," he said as his forehead rested against mine. As much as I wanted to believe in miracles, I just couldn't. I didn't feel that anything, not even a miracle, could fill the emptiness inside of me. I understood the science. I understood that I would never have a child of my own. I understood that I would never feel the joy of my child growing inside of me or experience the miracle of birth. I would forever remain empty and incomplete. The only good thing in my life right now was standing in front of me, resting his head on mine. He was my rock, keeping the emptiness inside of me from swallowing me whole. I placed a kiss on his cheek, just to the side of his mouth, and pulled him to me. He wrapped his arms tighter around me and buried his nose in my hair. A flicker of worry that my hair smelled like the clinic flashed thorough my mind but I pushed it aside as I felt the dampness of his tears on my cheek. Mulder pulled me tighter against him and whispered, tears evident in his voice, "It was my last chance too." I held him for a moment longer while I processed what he said. When I attempted to pull back to I could find the answers I needed in his eyes, his grip on me became tigher. "Mulder," I said and he finally released me. I attempted to look in his eyes but he kept his head down. I ran my hand from his shoulder to his chin and raised his eyes to mine. The pain I saw made my heart ache. "What do you mean that this was your last chance?" "Nothing, Scully," he said with a shake of his head. I knew it wasn't nothing but let it drop. "I should go," he said but made no move to leave. "Your welcome to stay," I said. I didn't want be alone. "You need to rest," he said but still made no move to leave. I nodded. He didn't want to be alone either. I wanted him to stay. I wanted to know what he meant that this was his last chance as well. When I didn't say anything he started toward the door. "Mulder," I said before he had retrieved his coat. "What did you mean when you said that this was your last chance?" "Scully, I..." he said and dropped his head. I felt the emptiness return as silence filled the room. Finally he said, "When I told you that I would be your donor, my motivation wasn't entirely selfless." I took a step toward him and rested my hand on his arm and waited for him to continue. "I never though I wanted children. I never thought I would have the opportunity to have children. I never really considered the possibility until you asked me to help you." He finally raised his head to look me in the eyes, "And I never felt so empty as I did when I saw the look in your eyes that told me that you weren't pregnant and I wasn't going to be a father." The tears were streaming down my face. He brushed them away with his thumb as forced a smile. "Let's face it Scully, you're the only one crazy enough to ask me to father your child." I let his remark go as I pulled him into my arms again. I truly hadn't considered how much this was effecting him. "Mulder," I said into his ear. "Stay with me. I don't want to be alone." "I don't either, Scully." He started to sway with me in his arms and run his hand up and down my back. After a few minutes in his embrace I no longer felt as empty. I felt warm and protected from all of the evil I had seen and experienced. "Let's not give up," I whispered. He pulled me away from him and I could see the question in his eyes. "What?" he said, and I could feel the question and his breath caressed my lips. I leaned in so our lips were centimeters apart and said, "Let's not give up, Mulder. Let's not give up on the miracle." I moved toward him and he toward me. Our lips stayed millimeters apart for an eternity until I crossed the final distance. I closed my lips around his full bottom lip and his closed around my top. We stayed like that, memorizing the feel of each other. In a flash, the kiss took on a life of it's own. I finished the exploration of his bottom lips and to the top. He buried his hand in my hair and kept my mouth pressed against his. We pulled apart for lack of oxygen and he again rested his head on mine. "That was pretty miraculous," he said between breaths. "Mmmm," I said in agreement. He brushed the hair back from my face and took a step out of my embrace. "Goodnight, Scully." "Mulder, wait," I said. "I meant what I said before. I don't want to be alone. Please stay here tonight. I don't think I will be able to sleep but I know that lying in bed alone would be unbearable. You make the emptiness bearable." He nodded, in agreement I think. I grabbed his hand and pulled him into my bedroom. I headed into the bathroom to change and returned to find him under the covers. His chest was bare and I assume he had stripped to his boxers. I climbed in bed and immediately laid my head on his chest. He arms came around me and stoked my hair. "Scully?" he said in a whisper. "Hmmmm?" "Is there anything else we can try? There had to be something left you haven't tried." I was silent as I contemplated my response. Science had led us to this point. Science had failed us. The only thing I hadn't tried was the old fashioned way, a way that science didn't completely understand or claim to. I once had an instructor tell me that every conception was a miracle. So many things were working against it. Dare I hope for that to be the solution? I squeezed Mulder tighter as I considered this option. "Scully?" he said, a concerned whisper in the silence of my room. "I'm sorry I brought it up..." "It's okay," I said and patted him on the chest. "There is one way I haven't tried," I said as and raised myself up so I could look in his eyes." "Do you want to try it, Scully? You know I'll do whatever you need me to do." I couldn't keep the smile off my face. I was scared to tell him but sure he would thoroughly enjoy this option. I reached up and ran the back of my hand down his cheek. His eyes closed and reopened after I laid my hand back on his bare chest. "Mulder, there is only one thing I can think of that I haven't tried and it will truly be a miracle if it works." I could see his eyes gleaming with excitement even in the darkened room. "I've never tried to conceive trough intercourse." Under my hand I could feel his start stop and then begin again in double time. He eyes got as big as saucer and his jaw dropped. I smiled at his reaction. Then I inched my face closer to his, "I don't mean tonight. Tonight's not the right time anyway, for many reasons. I'm just saying it's an option I have yet to explore." Then I brushed me lips against his. I didn't get a response but wasn't expecting one so I settled back against his chest and listened to his accelerated heartbeat. "Scully?" he finally said. "I think I would really like to explore that option, especially with you." He kissed the top of my head and I kissed his chest in return. That night I dreamed of a little girl with brown hair and blue eyes. I dreamed of miracles. The end. Author's Notes: I have sequels planned for like five of my stories. I really know what I want to do with this one though, so as time permits I will work on it and get it out ASAP!