From: ephemeral@ephemeralfic.org
Date: Mon, 1 Jan 2001 20:42:06 -0600
Subject: Miracle by Sydney Mae
Source: direct

Reply To: SydneyMae@hotmail.com


"Miracle"
by Sydney Mae

Disclaimers:  Gotta do these!  Obviously I don't own any of these
characters, I just use them for fun when the muse comes to write
something.  :-)  Hope you enjoy it, and any correspondnce or 
feedback can be sent to SydneyMae@hotmail.com

Spoilers:  Nothing obvious.  This is set around five months after
Mulder's disappearance, so includes some early Season 8 stuff.   

Rating:  Probably no more than PG, I'd say...

He was there again.  Just beyond her, untouchable, like the mist that
lingered in the air.  She reached fingers forward in a vague attempt 
totouch brown wavy hair.  The form kept moving, imperceptibly, 
fartherand farther with each step.  She felt the agony clutch her 
heart like avise as the form kept moving faster and she seemed to 
slow down.  It couldn't be happening again.  She couldn't be this 
close again, only to lose him one more time.  She reached out vainly 
one more time, this time tripping on an obstacle and falling forward.  
She tried to rise and whimpered as she realized the shadowy form 
had moved too far away.  Then she began to cry in loud, racking sobs 
as she realizedthat she had lost again, that he was gone again.

Suddenly she was jarred by the sound of music.  She opened her eyes
and saw the wet streaks on her pillow.  Tears still rolled down her 
cheeks in the aftermath of the horrible dream.  The dream she had
been having over and over since Mulder had been gone.  She reached
a heavy hand across her nightstand to still the raucous music coming
from a local radio station.  Six AM, and yet another bad dream.  She
brushed the wetness away from her face with the back of a hand.
She lay back again, trying to stop a fresh stream from coming when
the reality of facing another day alone loomed in front of her.
Unconsciously a hand moved to rest on her abdomen, where the 
growing form of her child was making itself known.  Nearly 22 weeks 
now.  

She arose from the bed, feeling the tension in her back that was 
born of tortured sleep and it's extra burden these days.  But she 
could not complain.  Every change her body was undergoing, every 
new sensation she experienced...it was her only remaining link to 
the man whose blood it carried, linked with her own.  It was her 
only reason to hold forth hope.

*********************************************************

Scully idly rolled a pencil back and forth between her fingers as 
she examined the latest case report that Doggett had left on her 
desk. She had honestly developed a respect for her new partner, 
although her mind shuddered to place him in that position.  He was 
fair, honest, hard-working, and surprisingly enough, loyal.  It 
wasn't as with her relationship with Mulder, which was unendingly 
complicated.  Almost everything with Doggett was straightforward.  
The semblance of logic bestowed was indeed helpful as she inwardly 
struggled in other ways.

She'd had to tell him, finally, about a month ago.  After her second 
trip to the hospital, and the fact that her growing body would render 
this secret a secret no more soon enough, she realized that he had a 
right to know.  She knew that he sensed the identity of the father, 
although she didn't offer him the information.  What she did see, to 
her surprise, was understanding of her desperate need to keep 
searching.  Unfortunately, she had also incurred the solicitiousness 
of a gentleman trying to protect her "fragile" state.  There had 
already been several small battles of wills, and thankfully, she had 
won almost all of them.  She had a feeling, however,that many more 
were to come.

She was pulled from her absorption when the object of her thoughts 
breezed into the office.  

"Good morning, Agent Scully.  What do you think of that new case 
that got tossed our way this morning?"

"I'd say this one is more in the line of something a psychiatrist 
needs to look into." Scully replied, as she held up the case file.  
The pages described a man who claimed his pet cat spoke to him and 
had told him to fire about three rounds through his wall into his 
neighbor's apartment.

"Yeah, that's kind of what I was thinking, too.  Doesn't exactly 
sound like much of an X-file."  Doggett replied with characteristic 
clipped tones.

"Do you want to inform Kersh of that, or should I?" Scully asked 
wryly.

"I think I did it last time we got something ridiculous.  Probably 
your turn." he said with a smile.  Then the smile faded as he took 
in herwan face.  "Are you feeling okay, Agent Scully?"  

Scully sighed inwardly, but then realized that she probably didn't 
lookher best due to lack of sleep.  So she simply replied, "I didn't 
sleep too well, I imagine that's what it is."  

"You're sure."  Agent Doggett said, doubt in his voice.

"Positive." Scully replied.  This time the raised eyebrow indicated 
that the subject was to be dropped.

Doggett was smart enough to heed the unspoken words, and moved 
on.  "Well, I did get another tip today.  A supposed alien 
sighting." Doggett told her. 

"Really.  And this is considered worthy of our time?" Scully said 
doubtfully.  

"Well, not exactly." Doggett said wryly.  "But, the reports actually 
came from Texas, a small town called Lampasas. We've had more 
concerns that a power plant in that area has been dumping illegal 
toxins, some rumored to be hallucinogenic."

"So what you're saying is that people might be seeing UFO's because
of the chemicals in their water?"  Scully asked dubiously.

Doggett looked back at her levelly.  "Hey, you're the one who's been 
doing this over seven years.  You're telling me you haven't seen
stranger?"  

Scully opened her mouth as if to protest, and then thought better of 
it.  "Fine, then, when do we leave?" she asked.

******************************************************
When they arrived at their destination, Scully was struck by the 
sudden moist wave of air that assailed her.  Though Washington 
was certainly not that cold yet, it was starting to cool with the 
changing of the leaves a precursor of the frigidness that was soon 
to come. Here however, the balminess certainly wasn't reminiscent 
of winter. 

Scully pulled her bag out of the back of the rented car that Doggett
had been driving since they'd left the airport.  Tiredness had laid
heavy on her shoulders since they'd exited the plane around nine.  
The following three hour drive had done nothing to assuage her
exhaustion.  Doggett was giving her a concerned look that said he 
clearly thought she needed help with her bag.  She simply
picked it up and began marching toward the entrance to the 
motel to let him know that it was not necessary.

She nodded a goodnight to him, and although she was glad for
his company, she longed for her old partner.  The partner who
would have thought nothing of banging on her door at three in
the morning, or she on his.  The one who, in later days, she
might have gone to in the middle of the night for the comfort
of his body.  That body that had been her shield and her 
weakness all rolled into one package.  

As she lay down to sleep, she longed for him with a yearning
that was almost physical in it's manifestations.  She clutched 
her hands into fists in sleep, reaching out for someone who
wasn't there.  

And then it came again, the mist that encircled everything and
revealed just enough to make her follow.  The familiar sensation
of reaching out and falling, her goal almost within her reach.  
The whimpering sound of her own voice..."Mulder, no, don't
leave me, you can't, not now, now now...." as she came 
awake to the bright light shining through her window.  In 
confusion, she blinked at her nightside clock, realizing that it
read only 3:30.  But the light was intense and she rose, guided
by a force that she couldn't explain, and went to the door.  

She opened the door and was suddenly faced by a thick, humid
mist that was so much like her dream that her heart involuntarily
missed a beat in her fear.  The light seemed to be sweeping
forward and she moved out of the direct glare and stood helpless
as it became brighter and brighter, and then suddenly faded.  
Everything was pitch black, the tiny, dirty lights of the motel 
parking lots the only illumination now.  The mist was still all 
around her, and to her utter astonishment, she saw the familiar 
figure.  She was certain she had awoken, that she couldn't just be 
living the nightmare and seeing him there, just beyond her reach.  
But no, there was a tall, lanky, form, hair slightly wavy.  He was 
stumbling, the ataxic steps of someone who was very disoriented.  
Her feet didn't want to move, but she forced them to, moving 
forward and almost falling down, as in her dream.  Sheer force 
of will and the unquenchable hope that she should somehow be
right moved her forward.  The stumbling figure in front of her 
fell, and she fell onto the ground next to him, hope and fear
mixed in her throat so that she could barely breathe.

She turned the form over, gasping in the shock as the man
opened his eyes and reached a hand upward to touch her
cheek.  

"Scully....Scully...." Mulder mumbled before his head lolled to
the side, and unconsciousness took him under.

************************************************************

Scully gazed down at the prone form in front of her in amazement.
She simply couldn't move for several moments and then she 
knelt down and placed one silent kiss on the immobile forehead.
She knew that, despite her defiant need to carry her own bags
earlier in the evening, she didn't have the strength to lift a 
full-grown man, or probably even to drag him at this point.  
Five months ago, maybe, she thought reluctantly, staring at the
round bulge under her silk pajama top.  

Oh, Lord.  Mulder didn't know yet.  He had no inkling that she
was pregnant.  He knew that she had wanted to be, that she had
gone to doctors to see if it was possible.  But both of them 
had reached the point where they hadn't believed it to be.  The
miracle that was her unborn baby was something that would shock
him to his very core, she was sure.  She only hoped that the 
shock would fade into joy.  

But as for right now, she had to do something.  She couldn't 
just leave him here.  She had to examine him, do the best 
physical exam she could without any hospital close at hand.  But 
what do I do? The silent question ran through her mind.  Damn.  
She was probably going to have to get Doggett, and this was going 
to raise one hell of a lot of questions.  But what was the 
alternative?  To leave her second miracle lying here in a motel 
parking lot?

She dreaded leaving him.  She leaned down and placed another 
soft kiss, this time on his lips, and clenched his hand.  At the 
same time she was murmuring that he shouldn't move, should just 
stay right where he was.  She got up and moved as quickly as she 
could to the room she knew as Doggett's, two doors down from her 
own.  

The knocking shattered the silence of the evening, as if it were
ripples through the heavy mist.  She knocked for fully five 
minutes before he finally answered.  

"Agent Scully?" asked a flannel clad Doggett, rubbing his eyes in
disbelief.  

"Yes...I..I...can barely explain.  It's such a miracle, but I 
need your help.  I just couldn't....on my own...lift him....just 
please, help me."  Scully sputtered, tears coming to her eyes as 
the reality of the situation was moving closer and closer to her 
consciousness.  She had remained detached, but now reality was 
moving ever closer, thudding in her chest.  

"Agent Scully, I need you to slow down.  Are you okay, is the..." 
he trailed off.  

"Yes, I'm fine.  The baby is fine.  The baby will be even more 
fine now.  It's amazing, I..."

"Okay, I need to know what the miracle is before this makes any 
sense at all."  Doggett seemed to be realizing that there was no 
immediate danger to anyone, and was trying to make Scully be 
coherent.

"Just, just, follow me."  Scully managed.

She turned, and led the way to the figure lying still as death 
in the parking lot.  There seemed to be no better way to explain 
than to simply show him.  

Doggett's face registered shock as he recognized the facial 
features of the man who had come before him.  

"I know.  I don't know how this is possible.  I saw this 
incredibly bright light, just suddenly, and then...here he was, 
right in front of me.  I need to get him inside, and look at him, 
but he's unconscious, and I can't lift him right now.  I couldn't 
think of anything else to do...."  Scully trailed off.  Her voice 
was beginning to sound a little more reasonable now as she had a 
task to perform.  

"Well, you obviously did the right thing.  I'm here to help." 
Doggett replied.  Shock was still evident in his voice.  "Wow..." 
he murmured under his breath.  

"Tell me about it." Scully replied, a sudden grin such as he had 
never seen before from her lighting up her face.  It transformed her, 
making his breath catch momentarily in his throat.  He could almost 
read the depths of her feeling for this man in that one simple 
expression of joy.  

"Okay, let's do this then." Doggett replied, as he reached down and 
hefted the still form of Mulder over his shoulder.  

*******************************************************************

Scully ran fingers over his brow and palpated along the length of 
his jawbone.  Fingers ran lightly over all the long bones of his arms 
and legs.  They checked ribs and felt pulses.  Toward the end of 
Scully's tender ministrations, the examinee groaned and reached a hand 
forward.  Eyes opened slowly, blinking against even the low level of 
light present in the room.  

Words like sandpaper escaped from his throat.  "Scully, You're here.
Not a dream?" he asked, as if begging for affirmation. 

"Not a dream.  Not a dream.  Oh, my love, not a dream at all." Scully
whispered near his ear and then lightly kissed his temple.  

He reached a hand up with much effort, searching for it's partner 
in hers.  She obliged him by twining her fingers in his.  He gazed on 
her in wonderment, and she on him.  Neither one could seem to believe 
that the other was actually there in front of them.

"I dreamed, so many times...so many times, that you had come for me."
Mulder said softly.

"And I dreamed so many times that I had found you, and I got so close,
but I never could reach you.  It was horrible." Scully choked out, 
tears threatening to block the words.  

"Shhhh...don't cry." Mulder replied, the strong hand becoming a little 
more sure now as he reached to brush tears away from her cheek.  His
eyes began to look more focused and his face softened as he looked on 
her face.  Then his agent's mind thought to scan the room, and his 
facial expression changed dramatically when alighting upon Agent 
Doggett, who had asked to be present for the exam.

"Scully, who's that man?  What is he doing here?"  He asked in a 
rather accusatory tone.

"Mulder..." Scully replied. "There's a lot that's happened since 
you were gone, it's been almost five months.  Agent Doggett got 
assigned to help me."  

Mulder's look could only be described as something like murderous, 
but his physical weakness kept him from jumping off the bed and 
pummeling this man as he wanted to.  

"No, Mulder.  It's okay.  He's one of the good guys."  Mulder 
stilled, but looked suspicious.  "No, I mean it.  He's loyal." she 
said, knowing that to Mulder, loyalty was everything.  

Mulder's face softened, knowing that if Scully trusted this man 
enough to let him be here, then her words had some basis in fact.  
He'd find out soon enough on his own whether he could agree with 
them.  He turned his face back to Scully to find tears coursing 
down her cheeks again.  

"Scully, are you okay?  What's wrong?"  he asked tenderly.

"I've just been so alone.  I thought that you wouldn't get back.  
I thought you wouldn't get back in time, and I'd have to be all
alone for this too." she cried out.  

Mulder didn't understand the words.  "Alone for what...in time 
for what?"  

Scully just gazed at him with knowledge and understanding of the
great gift and surprise she was about to bestow on him.  She 
couldn't think of a good way to tell him, so she simply took
his hand and placed it on her abdomen.  

"This...this is what I wanted you to be in time for."  Scully 
said softly.

Mulder's eyes widened in astonishment.  "Scully, you mean...how 
is it possible?" His hand traced the roundness and disbelief was 
etched on his face.

"Well, Mulder, you were there.  I thought you might have figured
that part out." Scully said in a teasing undertone.  

Mulder's face wanly acknowledged that statement.  "Scully, you 
know what I mean."

"To tell you the truth, I'm not sure.  I only know that this is 
a miracle that I've been blessed with, and the only thing that's 
kept me going while you've been gone.  I only hope that this is
something that will bring you as much joy as it's brought to me,
that, amidst all the darkness I was going through, it was this
light, always...." 

Mulder's face changed to an expression of tenderness.  "Scully, I
couldn't begin to express how happy this makes me.  I'm just so 
sorry that you had to go through so much of this alone. So 
sorry..."

"I know you would have been here if you could have."

"Of course I would have."  Mulder replied gently.  His eyes 
moved in wonderment again to her rounded belly.  "I can't believe 
I've missed so much of it already!"  

Mulder's eyes changed suddenly as a thought occurred to him.  He
glanced past Scully to Doggett.  He addressed the question on his
mind to the man he had just met.  

"Has she....does she....try to do..."

"Too much at one time?  Overextend herself?" Doggett asked, 
smiling.

"Something like that." Mulder replied sheepishly.  He knew that 
had he been here, he would have badgered her to stay home, to 
keep herself safe.  But he also knew his Scully, and he knew that 
her personality didn't lean to that.

Doggett's smile threatened to become a smirk.  "I tried just as
much as the next person might have, but I'm guessing you know
her much better than I do, and so you'd know that would be a
difficult thing to do."  

Scully's expression was becoming mutinous at the conversation 
moving over her head.  She definitely didn't like the thought
of being discussed as if she were the little woman, with no
input of her own.  

"Excuse me." Scully interrupted. "Could I possibly be involved
in this discussion on myself?" There was no small hint of 
sarcasm in that tone.  

Mulder looked chagrined. "Scully, I'm sorry.  But you know that
I'm going to be concerned.  I just want to watch out for you."

Scully's eyes were narrowing to small slits that left no doubt 
to an onlooker that she was pissed.  Lord, just because a 
woman was pregnant, she was supposed to stop living her life?

But Mulder's next words stilled the animosity brewing in her 
face. "I just know how badly you've wanted this, and I know what 
problems you've had getting to this point.  I only want to protect 
that little miracle...protect it and you from harm."  

Scully softened a little at the words, and at the light caress of
his hand on her cheek.  

"Fine.  Fine." she muttered.  "But first off, there's you.  
You seem to be basically unharmed, but I need to get you to a 
hospital just to make sure, get some tests run."  

Mulder's eyes rolled upward slightly, which she took as a good
sign, because the man never seemed to think he needed medical 
help, even when it was an outright necessity.  

"We'll go in the morning." Scully said decisively.  

She saw movement in the field of her vision and realized Doggett
was headed for the door.  

"Wait a minute." she called out.  She got up and walked over
to him.  "Thank you." she said softly.  "Thank you for helping
me and not questioning why.  And...I know it's a lot to ask, 
but could you keep this to yourself for a little bit?  I just 
need to have him to myself for a while."  The pleading in her
eyes was intense, and though he knew his duty to the FBI 
included reporting this incident, his sincere appreciation
of Scully made him promise to do what she asked, at least 
for a couple of days.

As he walked out the door, he realized that he had just witnessed
another huge event that he would be unable to explain.  The
only semi-logical explanation was that the UFO sightings had
actually been real.  He glanced up at the sky, watching the
stars blinking in their places.  That wasn't possible, was it?

************************************************************* 

Morning came, and with it, the return of the bright, warm, 
sunshine.  The sun that had whisked away the mist seemed to be
a metaphor for the man lying next to her in the bed.  She 
clutched his arm, almost afraid that if she didn't hold on
tightly, he would disappear again.  

Warm hazel eyes opened to her and a smile touched his mouth.  

"Scully." he said softly.

"Yeah, that would be me." she said teasingly.  

"And probably the most beautiful sight in the world." he said 
quite seriously. 

Scully couldn't even bring herself to scold him, as she might
have otherwise.  The words were too dear to her heart.  His 
hand moved to her abdomen, feeling as a small kick indicated, in
Scully's mind at least, that his baby was glad to see him as
well.  His eyes lit up and he glanced up at her with something
akin to triumph in his eyes.  His baby, it seemed to be saying.
His every gesture was posessiveness.  And she was glad to have
it that way.  Scully allowed herself one more glance at his 
soothing face, and then she decided it was time for action.

"Time to get up Mulder. Time to get you in and run some tests."  

Mulder rolled his eyes again, but started to rise, somewhat 
weakly, his only sign of relenting.  

***********************************************************

Scully looked around her apartment with a much lighter heart
than when she had left it.  Because this time Mulder was 
with her.  Three days had passed since she had found him 
again, and thankfully, all the tests she had run had indicated
nothing truly abnormal.  Slight abnormal brain wave activity,
but nothing indicative of a serious illness.  Doggett had
been as good as his word and had said nothing as of yet. She
didn't know how long that would remain the status quo, but 
she said a silent prayer of thanks on his behalf.  

Scully guided Mulder to the couch to sit down.  His strength
was slowly returning, but he definitely wasn't his old self
quite yet.  She settled him in, and then she sat directly next 
to him, leaning her head on his shoulder.  He placed a tender
hand on her head, brushing her hair back from her forehead. She
looked up into his eyes.  Suddenly she realized it hadn't 
occurred to her what the baby would look like.  Would he have 
Mulder's strong, aqualine features, or her auburn hair?  The
future didn't seem frightening anymore now that she had the
right person to share it with. 

"Scully." Mulder finally spoke, breaking the silence.

"Yes, Mulder?" Scully asked quietly.

"I just want you to know..." he said, trailing off.  

"Yes, Mulder?" Scully asked one more time.

"I need you to know..." he corrected.  "I need you to know 
that I believe that getting to come back to you, to you and our 
child, was a miracle.  I never thought I believe in miracles, 
but I can't think of a proper explanation for you being where 
you were when I was returned, and just, well...for everything."

"I think it's all right to call this one a miracle." Scully 
said, tears of emotion beginning to shine in her eyes.  "And 
probably this one too." Scully said, placing her hands on her 
rounded abdomen.  She reached over to Mulder, drawing his head down 
onto her stomach, letting him listen to the baby and it's movements 
in a more intimate way.  

Mulder remained there, with his head rested on her belly, as he
muttered underneath his breath, saying a silent prayer of thank
you to a God he wasn't even entirely sure he believed in.  But he
allowed that at least this one time, God had seen fit to give him 
a miracle.

***************************************************************

The end!!!