From: Hazal A Mohammed Date: Sun, 4 Jun 2000 14:41:23 -0400 (EDT) Subject: submission Source: direct Title: Missing You (1/2) Author: H.M. Rating: PG Category: MSR, UST, DAL, post-Mulder return Spoilers: Requiem, all things, Fire (yep, going that far back) Summary: Mulder and Scully back at work. It's amazing what we take for granted. Archive: Umm, I guess. Just tell me. Feedback: This being my first fanfic, please be gentle. I hope I'm doing this right, xer100@hotmail.com Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me. They belong to Chris Carter and Ten Thirteen Productions. Oh yeah, I think those FOX guys have a claim to them too. Missing You (1/2) By H.M It's been a little over a week and Mulder's determined to come back to work. I know I should be more of a doctor at this point and think with my head instead of my heart, but I can't. For the first time in my life, I follow my heart without question. Being his doctor, I still make sure he's able to come back to at least a desk job. When Walter and I finally found him, Mulder was a shell of the man I once knew. The physical scars were not even a match to the psychological ones I'm sure he suffered. After all, I have suffered them also. I also know that things will get better with time. Time, and love. I walk to the filing cabinet, looking for an X-File pertaining to pyrokinesis. Apparently, there was a report about unexplainable fires in the Midwest. Apparently, a farmer saw his cattle erupt into flames while sitting on his porch enjoying the setting sun. The thought brings me to Cecil Lively, Phoebe's assassin. Phoebe, that name brings back memories of Mulder kissing her in the ballroom of the hotel while I stood there blowing air through my teeth like a fool. As I continue along this train of thought, a noise from behind me brings me back to the real world. I turn to see Mulder walking in, a box in his hand. A heavy one from the looks of it. "Mulder, you shouldn't be pushing yourself too much. You've been through a lot." "Well, hi yourself, Mom." I don't know if he's berating me for nagging or commenting about the fact that I am going to be a mother. And he a father in the process. When I found him, I was happy and scared at the same time. Happy that he finally came back to me. Scared of the news I had to tell him. Our one night of unspoken, unrestrained love, resulted in the child growing in my womb. Our child. I needn't have been afraid. The look in Mulder's eyes when I told him told me more than words ever could. After so much pain and suffering, we had a chance to be happy. I held his head in my arms in the hospital. He slept like I imagine our baby will. My hands never stopped moving through his hair. I needed the contact. I needed to know that I wasn't dreaming. I needed to know that he was here. Home. "Well, you're responsible for this too, you know?" Let's see one of his trademark comebacks now. I'm smiling at him, waiting for some smartass remark. Instead, he places the box on the desk and moves toward me. I turn back to the filing cabinet, pretending not to see him moving in my direction. I feel his arms slide around my waist, my stomach. His hands gently glide over my stomach, his mouth precariously close to my ear. A sigh from my lips as I continue to look for, what was I looking for again? God, I hate it when he does this to me. But I welcome it wholeheartedly. It's been too long since we've been like this. Been partners. "I know, Dana. And I wouldn't have it any other way." The only time he calls me Dana is when he's being serious. And the fact that he's holding me, admitting that he needs me, makes me smile. Not just a simple matter-of-fact smile, but a smile that emits pure joy and happiness. Those are a rarity in my life. But I have a feeling that this is going to change. I find the file on Cecil Lively and pull it out of the cabinet. Mulder looks over my shoulder curiously, wondering what could possibly be more important than what he just said to me. He shouldn't worry. I now know what's important to me. I'm sorry it took this series of events for me to realize what he truly meant to me. "Whatcha got there, Scully?" I show him the file, and I feel something cold fall upon my neck. Without turning around, I know what it is. It's my cross. He's still wearing it. Even though he's back with me, he's still wearing it. I wonder if most married couples have the bond that Mulder and I have shared in the years we've known one another. We've experienced everything a normal couple eventually does. We've had our fights, our reconciliations, our debates, our laughter, our losses. Ours, always ours. I pull my head out of this thought before I break down into tears. The last thing I need is to cry. I've done enough of that for the past few months. It's time to move on with our lives. "Hey, I remember that case. Is Phoebe back in town?" Apparently, the case also conjures up memories of Phoebe, his former lover, to him as well. "And what if she is?" I throw at him toyingly. "Get another cassette tape from her?" He pulls me closer, his mouth almost touching my ear, the breath over my lobe making me feel alive. "No, show her what she never could give me." His hands gently squeeze my stomach, and I feel myself about to cry. Mulder really wants this baby. He wants a family. He wants what I want. Oh, God, how I've missed you, Fox. Missing You (2/2) By H.M. I gently push him away, making up a lame excuse about cutting off circulation to the child inside me. He yields, and moves to his desk. He stops when he sees the plaque on it though. "Dana Scully, huh?" He's smiling. "Yep. Your desk's in the back." I point to the area where I was once relegated to in our former partnership. "Someone had to sit up here while you were gone." "Hmm, if that's the case, I guess it's time to get another desk in here." "Oh? And why is that, Mulder?" "No one in their right mind could possibly work back there." He's grinning now. I pick up the file on Lively and toss it at his head. He's still quick, but he's still hurting. He barely ducks it and I see him wince a bit. "Oh, God, Mulder. I'm so sorry. Are you okay?" "Yeah, I'm fine." Strange, hearing my own words coming from Mulder's lips. A quick smile tells me that he is though. Mulder moves one of the stools from the back and near the desk. He begins to unpack the items from his box. I look on as if he's performing surgery. A few books, some folders, and a bag of sunflower seeds. He pushes the books and folders to the side and tears into the bag. He spills some of the seeds onto the desk and bends down to retrieve the Lively file. He thumbs through it while popping a seed into his mouth. "So, you gonna tell me why you got this file, or do I have to guess?" "Well, as a matter of fact, it appears that cattle are spontaneously combusting out in farm country. One, Mr. Hanks, saw it happen while watching the sun set." "And you seriously think it's pyrokinesis?" Mulder looks at me, wondering if he's walked into another dimension. Dana Scully, believer. There's not much I don't believe in these days. The life in my womb is proof to that. "Well, Mulder. All signs point to it. No ignition substances were found on the corpses. It was a cool sixty-eight degrees. There were no other footprints in the field save the farmer and his hands. The farmer and his people were questioned. The farmer can vouch for the whereabouts of his men; they were in town getting a drink as they did every night. And" Mulder chuckles, disrupting my explanation. "Did I say something funny?" Mulder nods his head, popping another seed into his mouth, discarding the husk of the former into the trash bin. "No, not funny. Just amazing. Three, even two years ago, you wouldn't have even fathomed spontaneous human combustion, and here you are going straight to pyrokinesis. Things really have changed, haven't they?" I look at him shucking another seed from its shell and going for another one. "I guess they have. Are you happy with the changes?" I find myself slipping back into my Dr. Scully persona. Things have changed. Am I really ready for what lies ahead? Mulder pops another seed into his mouth, grabbing a handful, and walking toward me. "I'm happy being here with you. That's all that's ever mattered to me. Life is all about change, we can't stop that. It's what we do with the changes that really matter." My eyes fall onto his lips, the action of his teeth cracking the shell open, his tongue retrieving the shell. "I still don't know what you see in those seeds, Mulder." "Here, try one." Mulder holds one up to my lips, offering innocently. I take it from his fingers and place it between my teeth. I bite down and feel the seed mixing with the husk. The feeling is unpleasant to say the least. "Ugh, this is terrible, Mulder." Mulder smiles and holds another one up to my lips. "You're doing it wrong, Scully. Don't put too much pressure on it." I take the seed from Mulder while spitting out the husk-seed mixture from my mouth and into a napkin. I slowly place it between my teeth, and slowly bite down on it. I'll give you credit, Mulder. You definitely are a patient man. It's taking forever for me to get this shell to crack. Before I notice it, Mulder tilts my chin up, his mouth falling over mine. My eyes close automatically, my mind going back to when we last kissed. In Mulder's apartment, after I left Daniel in the hospital. We actually talked that night. We discovered things about one another that we never knew before. Then, we moved our relationship from platonic to romantic. And I haven't regretted it ever since. I feel his tongue sliding over mine, moving toward the seed in my mouth. I feel the seed move between my molars, Mulder's tongue moving along the top of my mouth. I gently bite down, allowing enough room for his tongue, and I feel the shell give way and the seed against the side of my tongue. Mulder's tongue slides out of my mouth, his lips still on mine. I retrieve the seed from the shell, gently chew, swallow, and break our seal. I remove the husk from my mouth and look up to Mulder. "So, that's how you do it." "Yeah, that's how you do it, Scully." I grab another seed from the desk and hold it between us. "I missed this. I missed you." Mulder's hands cup my face, and he softly kisses me on my lips. It's not as passionate as our seed retrieval, but I feel the love in this kiss. I feel the change. And I welcome it. End Hope you guys liked this as much as I liked writing it. I tried to keep the characters as true to the show as possible while envisioning how their relationship would ultimately change with a child and Mulder's return. Let me know if I hit the mark or if my aim is truly off.