From: PulledAScully@aol.com
Date: Thu, 4 May 2000 16:57:51 EDT
Subject: NEW: "A Mixing of Love" by Angel-Wings Gaskins
Source: direct

Title: "A Mixing of Love"
Author: Angel-Wings Gaskins
Rating: G
Class: SR
Keywords: Mulder POV, MSR, post-ep
Spoilers: just post-"All Things"
Summary: A different scenario... at Scully's joint. o.O
Archive: Yes please! Just email me so I can brag :O)
Feedback: PulledAScully@aol.com  And please write!  this is my
    come-back story!
Disclaimer:  Not mine, don't own 'em.  You're doing great, btw,
CC!!  :O)

Notes: Sheesh, alls... even when I haven't written for like 2
months ya'll still write feedback!!  And now I'm getting loads of
it in German and stuff and I need translators... :::wipes 
forehead::: I figured it was time to get on the ball and finish
this one I started a while back.  So... here it is!!  Just a mini
one... :O)

"A Mixing of Love"
by Angel-Wings Gaskins
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Scully closes the door behind us and turns to look at me with
sleepy eyes.  "Go to bed, Scully.  You're tired."  

She smiles slightly at me and slowly makes her way to the couch, 
collapsing quietly onto it.  I sit down beside her just in time 
for her to lean into me as she passes out from exhaustion.  
"Mm... stay," shes mumbles quietly as I begin to shift away.

The implications of her naked request bring tears to my eyes and
I realise I can't stay on this couch all night with her when she
still hasn't discovered what she wants out of life.

God, that hair smells so beautiful, it's hard to tear myself 
away.  I pull the mexican-decor blanket up to her chin, careful
not to let my hand come too close to her skin.  I would never
develop the will power to walk away.  I wonder whether I would
even want to.

Her bed is soft, I think as I shed my clothes, leaving only my
boxers.  I pull the comforter back, stopping only momentarily to
breathe her in, to sense her essence.  This is Scully.

I curl myself in her blankets and bury my head in her pillow,
quickly falling asleep in her enveloping ora.

I don't know how long I sleep or what I dream of, but I stir
quietly at the soft squeek of the door urging open.  Scully 
stands in the door frame, her features invisible with the shean
of darkness that seems to act as a guide and a protector.  I'm
not sure which is better.

I pull myself into a sitting position, my arms supporting the
majority of my weight.  Scully stands still, her eyes boring 
holes into mine.  I don't know what's changed, but this moment
seems pre-destined, so familar.

"Dana?" I breath quietly.  She takes a solemn step forward and 
the moonlight bounces off her face, but her eyes are still 
hidden.  I miss them already.

I pull myself to a normal sitting stance and Scully makes her way
to the bedside.  Her head is downward, hiding everything I know,
or am searching for.  She grasps my hand and I feel a warm 
moistness fall suddenly there.  My free hand reaches up to 
massage her hair.

Scully is an unraveling mystery, like a huge velvet carpet that
is rolled only inch by inch, endless in length.  It's taken seven
years for her to warm up to me, and I've tried my best to let it
be known I would never hurt her intentionally.  Maybe it's taken
her that long to learn it as well.

She breathes deeply and lifts her head slightly, but her hair
still hides her.  "I thought...," she begins, her voice emotional
and teary, yet so rational and Scully.  "When I was young, in Med
school, I was different.  I thought I could change the world for
the better with a twist of my magic scalpel and the world's 
troubles would disappear.  I was so blind, then.  I couldn't see
the pain I was causing others... Daniel's family.  I just..."  A
tear falls down her cheek and she wipes it away with the side of
her hand.  Her eyes meet mine finally, and I see the pain there,
the loss.  Time slows and everything seems so clear.  I hear only
a single breath--we're breathing in time.  "I thought I was 
happy."

"Were you?"

"When I could convince myself of it."

We're closer now, and I kiss her forehead.  "Are you happy now?"
I question, my voice just above a whisper.  It's a seemingly
ridiculous question to ask; she's here by her own free will.  If
she were unhappy she would have left as this era we've created
began.  Still, though, she stayed with Daniel for God knows how
long and never truly experienced happiness.

Instead of the simple answer I was expecting, the one-word
installment, this beautiful enigmatic chooses to surprise me with
something more elaborate.  I open my mind to search for deeper
meanings as she starts to speak.

"When I was young," she begins, her voice reminising over the
past, "I played in our highschool band.  Flute."  A tiny smile
appears on her face.  "I met my first love; a trombonist.  I was
just a freshman and he a Junior, but it was the perfect romance.
In my heart I knew that he was the man I was to marry.  He made
me happy."  I push a lock of unruly hair behind her ear and she
smiles lightly at me before growing serious.  "Anyway, eventually
he left for college, I was a Junior then, and we promised to keep
in touch.  I thought I couldn't live without him.  Two months
after he left we had both fallen out of love and moved on."

"You weren't really in love."  At this she shakes her head in
calm protest.

"No, I think we were very much in love, but it just wasn't meant
to be."  She sighs and plays with her hands.  "Anyway, I guess it
all made me realize that I didn't have a clue what happiness 
was.  After Daniel, I still didn't know."

I don't know how I became lost in her story, but I think it was
intentional.  This is a diversion from the inevitable ending that
both of us foresee.  I crook my finger and lift her chin to look
at me.  "Are you happy now, Scully?"

"Yes."  There is no hesitancy in her words, just mere love and
truth.  I could never expect anything less from this woman.  

I kiss her tenderly and her essence explodes into my soul.  The
colors around me swirl into a giant palette of mixed shades,
shining brilliantly.  Each color represents an emotion, either
mine or Scully's.  It's a beautiful blend, a perfect union of 
oras.  Blues, reds, greens, purples, each one standing for a
different feeling, minor or signifigant.

But most of all, happiness.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Good?  bad?  Ugly?  Totally dispicable???

K, 1st off, after just writing this story I now realize that both
people ended up at Mulder's house... so we'll just say this is an
alternate ending, okie day?

This is dedicated to Javy, my baby, who I doubt will ever read
this and I don't think I'll ever tell him I wrote it for him.  
He's the trombonist, but I really am happy :O)

The Fanfic of Angel-Wings Gaskins
http://members.aol.com/pulledascully/fanfiction.htm