From: ephemeral@ephemeralfic.org Date: Sun, 11 Feb 2001 13:09:55 -0600 Subject: Moments by Marie R. Source: direct Reply To: dmulder2002@yahoo.com Title: Moments Author: Marie R. (dmulder2002@yahoo.com) Date: February 11, 2001 Rating: PG Spoilers: Sein Und Zeit and Irresistible Disclaimer: The characters aren't mine, and I'm making no money, so please don't sue me. :-) Distribution: Anywhere, but let me know and keep my name attached. Classification: UST Summary: Just some warm fuzzies, with some fictional scenes, and what I think happened... Author's Notes: This is my first submitted story. I've been watching X-Files since the very beginning, and writing for just as long, but this is the first time anyone other than myself will have read anything! Feedback would be incredibly appreciated! Write me at dmulder2002@yahoo.com Moments "You're in pain." Scully said simply. He gave her a questioning look, but quickly squeezed his eyes shut again as the throbbing in his head became worse. "Mulder, I'm taking you home." "No. Scully, really, I'm fine." He said, reaching a hand out to restrain her. "Mulder stop it. You're not fine. Now you're lucky I'm not insisting we go to the hospital instead. C'mon." He looked up at her then, the pain in his head subsiding for the moment. He saw that look in her eyes, and knew there was no way she was backing down this time. Nodding wearily, he let her take his arm, and lead him to the elevator. By the time they reached his apartment, Scully knew she would have no more arguments from Mulder. She knew just by looking at him that the pain he was experiencing was not getting better, only worse, although she was confident that these symptoms would eventually pass. She set to work making sure he would be reasonably comfortable until they did. He had settled down rather heavily onto his sofa as soon as they walked in the door, and when she looked over at him now, as she searched his apartment for Tylenol, she saw that his eyes were closed, although he was not sleeping. She returned to him with a bottle of pills and a glass of water, setting them on the coffee table in front of him, and sitting down next to him on the couch. "Scully, you must have something stronger than that. Whaddya say you break out the good stuff?" Mulder said, hearing her approach. Scully smiled, glad he hadn't lost his sense of humor. "That bad huh?" she asked him. He didn't answer, but winced slightly when she touched his head, checking for a fever. "Sorry." she murmured. "I'll cut you a deal Mulder." She said, holding out two pills for him. "Take this, and if you don't feel better in an hour or so, I'll see what else I can muster up for you." He nodded, taking both pills from her. "I'm holding you to that." He said, swallowing the medicine. He sighed, rubbing his temples wearily. "Mulder, I want you to try and get some rest." Scully said. She knew that he was running himself much too thin, which was probably what was causing these symptoms. "Scully, I don't have time for this." Mulder protested. Scully put a hand on his arm, restraining him from getting up. "Please Mulder, for me, take it easy. Just for today at least. I don't like to see you hurting yourself like this." Mulder heard her pleading with him, and knew he wasn't going to be able to say no to her. Not with his head pounding like someone was running a jackhammer into his skull. He knew it was better for him to lay low today, he knew he was making himself sick. He was just used to running at an inhuman pace. At some point though, he knew he was going to have to stop and catch his breath. He smiled at her, and gratefully moved over with her as she stretched out on the couch. He laid down with her, resting his head comfortably on her stomach, closing his eyes against the harsh sun light as he felt Scully's fingers gently running through his hair. "Scully, you know I can't sleep." He murmured. "I know Mulder. Just rest. That's all I'm asking." She spoke softly, resting her hand on the side of his head, as if willing the pain away. She smiled sadly as he pulled her other arm towards him, rubbing it thoughtfully with his thumb. He was remembering the last time he had laid in her arms like this. "Mulder..." She started. "You know Scully, I never got to thank you for that." "Mulder please..." "No Scully, really. You didn't have to stay with me that night." "I know that Mulder. I wanted to. You didn't really think I could have left you here alone?" She sighed, "You would've done the same thing for me. You have done the same thing for me." Mulder looked up at her then, a knowing smile on his face. He nodded, then reached for her hand, kissing it gently, as he lay back down. "It's been a hard night for him." Scully wasn't lying when she said that to Skinner. That night was one of the longest that either of them had ever been through. Mulder's emotions were so raw, so intense, that Scully found it hard to weather the storm they were causing. She didn't know how to comfort him. She allowed herself to be his sounding board, to be the one he yelled at through his anger, and eventually the one he clung to while he cried. His sobs had been deep and cleansing, as the emotions he had been trying to bury finally came rushing to the surface. She could feel her heart breaking along with his as he cried into her shoulder, his body shuddering. She could say nothing to him, could only hold him tightly, trying desperately to take his pain away. After this first storm had ended, she had left him for a moment on the sofa, leaving to retrieve a glass of water and a Tylenol for the headache that she was sure was beginning to pound in his skull. After handing the pill and water over to him, she took her place next to him on the sofa, watching as he sighed deeply, sinking back against the couch. She reached out to him, gently brushing his hair back from his face. After placing a soft kiss on his forehead, she settled back down next to him, holding his hand firmly in his own. "I'm staying with you tonight." she said softly. "Scully," Mulder started, his voice soft, resigned. "Shh... Mulder. I'm staying with you tonight." They sat quietly for a while, but slowly, Mulder started talking. He told her everything, poured his heart out to her. He gave voice to every confused emotion he was feeling. Scully said nothing in response, only listened, to every word, every hitch of his voice as the tears started to fall again. She squeezed his hand supportively at these times, telling him everything she wanted to say without one word. When he was finished, exhausted from the emotional toll being taken on him, she reached up to him, brushing away the fresh tears. "Lie down Mulder." she whispered. "Try and rest." She pulled him into her arms, stretching out on the sofa. He still clutched her hand as he laid down with her, trying to rest as he felt Scully's hand slowly running through his hair, rubbing his arm gently. His eyes fluttered closed as the first signs of dawn approached, as Scully's hand rested on his face, slowly tracing his hair line, and stroking his cheek tenderly. "You'll be okay Mulder. I won't let you fall." And she didn't. She held him while he slept, crooning soft words of comfort to him while he cried in his sleep, not able to escape his demons even in his dreams. He awoke several hours later, calmer, but not much more rested. He squeezed Scully's hand in a gesture of thanks, and when he pulled away from her arms, immediately felt her absence. She moved next to him, hugging his arm to her, leaning up against him wearily. She reached up to him instinctively, combing through the hair at the nape of his neck. "I haven't told you how sorry I am." she said softly. He nodded, wordlessly grasping her hand in his own. They sat like that for several minutes, until a knock sounded on the door. Scully gradually got up from the sofa, pausing momentarily to place a tender kiss on his cheek, "I'll be right back." she whispered. She walked to the door. They both knew it was time for them to face the challenges to come, but he knew that he would survive, because she would be there next to him. * * * * * * Mulder got up when he heard knocking on his hotel room door. He knew it was Scully before he even opened it. Only she would know he was still up at this hour. "Scully, what's up?" He asked her as she walked quickly into his room, sitting down quietly on his bed. He shut and locked the door behind him, sitting down next to her, noticing tear streaks on her face. "Scully, you've been crying. What's the matter?" She did not respond, but he could see fresh tears welling up in her eyes as he spoke. "Hey," He held her face gently with one hand, softly brushing away the tears as they fell with his thumb. "Talk to me." Her face crumbled away to tears at his innocent request and she moved closer to him, resting up against his shoulder as she tried unsuccessfully to regain control. Mulder didn't hesitate to wrap his arms warmly around her, kissing her hair gently as she cried against him. "Shhh... It's okay Scully." He spoke to her softly, rocking her gently. "It's okay." Slowly, Scully's tears stopped, and she regretfully pulled herself away from him. She wiped her eyes self consciously, not able to look up at him. "I'll get you a glass of water." he whispered, squeezing her hand gently as he got up. When he returned, she accepted the water gratefully, trying to smile at him. "I'm sorry Mulder." she whispered, as he sat back down next to her. "No, Scully, it's fine." he reached out to her, tucked a strand of hair behind her ear absently. "Can you tell me what's going on?" "It's completely irrational." she said softly. Mulder didn't respond, urging her to continue. "I had this dream. I dreamt that you were gone. You were taken from me. It was so real, I had to come here." She looked up at him then, her eyes shining with tears as she remembered the fear, and the relief she had felt when she saw him. Recognition registered in Mulder's features. He knew all too well the emotions that she was describing. "Oh Scully..." he whispered, wrapping his arms around her once again. She hugged him tightly, closing her eyes against the remnants of the nightmare that had plagued her. "I just needed to know that you were still here." she said softly, her voice shaking slightly. "I know." he said to her, pulling away from her just enough to rest his forehead against hers. "I'm here. I'm not going anywhere." She nodded, closing here eyes with relief. "C'mon." he said, urging her to move with him. "You're exhausted. Try to close your eyes, get some rest." She didn't protest, only stretched out with him on the bed. She wrapped her arms loosely around his waist, resting her head on his chest as he held her, smiling sympathetically at her as he gently stroked her hair. "Mulder?" her voice was distant. "Yeah." "Promise me you'll always be here when the nightmare's over." It had been a nightmare. At least she wished that it had been. Unfortunately, the way Mulder looked at her as he was tearing the rope from her wrists told her that it hadn't been, that it was all real. That moment was the first time she had broken down in front of him. And in the middle of a crime scene no less. She was horribly embarrassed, but he was wonderful. He acted as if nothing was out of the ordinary, ignoring the probing looks they were getting from the investigation team as he lead her cautiously from the house and into the car. He did not press her for details on the way back to the motel, and when she told him she wanted to be alone, he respected it, and left her to find her way by herself. As soon as he did, however, she knew that last part was a mistake. She knew that the last thing she wanted, was to be alone. But, pushing those thoughts aside, she climbed into bed, and closed her eyes, hoping to forget the whole nightmare ever happened. Unfortunately, that was not to be. The only thing that it accomplished was allowing her to relive the experience over and over again, through her dreams. Pfaster was right in front of her, the cold steal of his knife piercing her skin, a prelude to the blade that would slice into her at any moment. She bolted up right in bed, gasping for breath, surprised to see Mulder in front of her, sitting on the edge of her bed. Without a thought to protocol, or appropriate behavior, she quickly wrapped her arms around him, clinging to him desperately, sobbing into his chest like a small child. "I couldn't stop him." she cried, her body trembling at the memories. "I tried to but I couldn't get away from him." Mulder held her tighter, trying desperately to quell her sobs. "I know." he whispered "It's okay. It's all over." Slowly, Scully began to calm down, and just as slowly, her walls went back up. As she began to realize what she was doing, her rational side was telling her to stop while she still had some dignity left. She pulled away from him self consciously, wiping her eyes. "I'm fine now Mulder." she said firmly. "Thank you for checking up on me." "Scully..." Mulder reached out to her, gently stroking her wrist. "Let me help you." Scully stared down at his hand, his fingers slowly tracing the small bones of her wrist. She closed her eyes, sighing with resignation. She knew as well as he did that she was not going to be able to get over this alone. "Only if you promise me you'll still respect me in the morning." she said, only half joking. He smiled broadly, leaning over to kiss her cheek gently before getting up to retrieve a blanket. "Always." he whispered in her ear as he wrapped the blanket around her still trembling body. He pulled her towards him as he sat down on the bed next to her, leaning up against the headboard. "Get some sleep." he whispered to her as she leaned her head on his chest, feeling his hand stroking her hair softly. "You're safe now." Scully closed her eyes, willing herself to calm down, thinking only of the feel of Mulder's strong arms around her. Eventually a dreamless sleep overtook her, and her last thought was of him, and how she would survive, because he was there next to her.