From xing@icanect.net Fri Oct 04 15:09:43 1996 I was sitting at home listening to the Meatloaf CD when this song came on.. and I thought what a perfect song for Mulder after Scully's abduction. The song has so much pent up energy it is amazing. Disclaimer: I wish they were mine, but *sigh* they aren't . All of these wonderful characters belong to Chris Carter and Co. The song "Life Is A Lemon.. And I Want My Money Back" belongs to the talented Jim Steinman and Meatloaf. Summary: Mulder deals with a bit a frustration after Scully's abduction. Rating: PG - no swearing, sax, or violins. Spoilers: If you haven't seen season two.... you are missing out! Thanks to everyone that has sent me feedback in the past - y'all are wonderful! Any comments, suggestions, please send to I covet e-mail. Thanks! And now on with the story....... =============================== Moments of Frustration by: Keri Givens 10-3-96 She was gone, taken by that crazed man - and there wasn't a thing he could do about it. Mulder paced his apartment like a caged animal. He was so frustrated; he should have been able to protect her to save her from.... save her like he wasn't able to do with his sister. Guilt washed over Mulder. Was it all his fault that this had happened? What would he do without her.. she was his rock, and now he felt so completely helpless and alone....and angry. It seemed that there was no purpose to life anymore...he had failed. Mulder groaned. "It's always something. There is always something going wrong. That's the only guarantee, that's what this is all about. It's a never-ending attack, everything is a lie and that's a fact." He pounded the wall with his fist. Cancerman. He had to be responsible for this, they were getting to close to the truth. All the morons and all the stooges with their coins. They're the ones who make all the rules.. it's not a game - it's just a route. We were always slipping through the cracks. Mulder felt himself wrestling with his emotions.. the little voice inside trying to give him some little shred of somthing to hang onto. It's defective, it's always breaking in half. It's defective, it's corroded and decayed. It's defective, it's tattered and it's frayed. It's defective, it's a dead end street to me. It's defective, it's a crock and then you die. It's defective, it's dead and buried in the past. There was nothing. He was going to make someone pay for this, he would do anything to get her back, even die in the process. All these years of work were for nothing if he lost her forever... he couldn't let that happen. All of the pain he saw in her mother's eyes, he had promised himself that he would do everything in his power to erase the hurt he saw there. If there was anything he valued more than the support and friendship that Scully gave to him, he couldn't think of it. The only person who understood him, and respected him. He never told her how much he appreciated that, he could only hope that she knew. She was someone so close to him, close in such a complex way, more than any romantic relationship could ever hope to accomplish. They were connected, one mind, one goal, one purpose - her goals were part of him and his were a part of her, they were part of each other.. and it was killing him that she was gone. He made up his mind that he would find her. No matter the cost..... no matter who he had to go through. He was going to find his hope once more. ================================ Comments? Suggestions? Sm:)e - it does a world of good. My job is not all that difficult, but I do have to know the entire alphabet. ---Vanna White "... If I die before I learn to speak, will money pay for all the days I live awake but half asleep?..." --- Primitive Radio Gods "Even old New York was once New Amsterdam Why they changed it I can't say People liked it better that way" -- They Might Be Giants