From: Maria Date: Fri, 24 Mar 2000 16:06:38 -0800 (PST) Subject: xfc: More Than Words (1/1) Source: xfc From: Maria Title: More Than Words. (1/1) Author: Maria O'Rourke. Feedback: dk_scully_101@yahoo.com Classifications: Story, Mulder & Scully RST, slight Mulder Angst for awhile (but it clears up). Rating: PG Disclaimer: They belong to Carter and Fox and 1013 etc.... Not mine. Author's Notes: This is my first attempt at a fic which isn't angst filled or results in a character death, so give me a chance... Let me know if you think I should stick to what I know, or if this is a good attempt at a happy fic.... *x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*xx*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x Fox Mulder Residence. Alexandria. Washington DC. March 16th 2000. *x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x "One....Two...Three..." he mutters slowly, under his breath as he paces back and forth across his dull carpet. He passes the couch for nearly the hundredth time and he finally stops. "One, Two , THREE!" he yells. Nobody in his apartment can hear him, maybe that's because there is nobody in here. He lets a frustrated sigh escape his lips as he runs a hand through his hair. Three simple words, that's all he has to say. It takes as much to say them as it does to say 1, 2, 3. He's been shouting *those* three words all day to stress his point. But, as much as he wants to, he can't say it. "I love you" his mind chants. "I love you, I love you, IloveyouIloveyouIloveyou!!!!" It's just rubbing it in. He can tell her fifty times a day that he does, as long as he doesn't have to say it. He lets his eyes do the talking and he thought that they were doing a pretty good job. Obviously they're not. She should know. He *should* tell her, but he can't. He's known her for roughly 7 years and he's loved her from the beginning and yet he doesn't have a clue how to approach the subject. Maybe when she's slicing and dicing in the autopsy bay? "You know Scully..." he could begin. "I love you..." "What?" she could say and then she'd probably cut off her thumb with a knife that went astray as she went to throw it at him. He shook his head. Nope. Maybe when she was crying in his arms, telling him she was going to die from cancer. "I love you so much Scully and I'll do anything to save you.." he could say and try to kiss her. She'd probably pull away and call him insensitive for only thinking of himself at a time like that. He shook his head and sighed. He was being stupid. They worked all day, but what was wrong with the evenings? He picked up his jacket and slid it over his shoulders. Sighing, he pulled the door after him, heading in the direction of his car. *x*x*x*x*x* "Scully?" he called again, banging on the door for the third time. He finally told himself that she wasn't in. He took the key from his pocket and contemplated using it. "What the hell am I doing here?" he wondered to himself. "Do I really think that a woman like Dana Scully could ever in her entire life, even THINK about loving, or liking, someone like me?" He began to pace in front of her door. He went over and back in front of the number 35 and sighed and contemplated every, if any word he could say to change her mind and make her love him. Make her love him? He was making it sound like it was a chore. But could she even have feelings for him? He couldn't answer himself. He didn't want to answer himself. He hadn't the chance to answer himself as Scully appeared in front of him. She was holding a laundry basket in her hand. He butted in before she had a chance to speak. "Scully?" he began. "Listen to me..." She was about to protest when he held up his hands in front of her face. "Don't say a word..." he pleaded. "Please...." She just stood in front of him. Her brow was furrowed and she was focussing all of her attention on him. The intensity of her blue eyes bore into him like a lightening rod. He took a deep breath. "How long have we been partners Scully?" he asked. "7 years?" he answered. She nodded. "Since the day that you walked into my life..." he stated and she opened her mouth to speak again but he closed over it with his hand. She shook her head but he pleaded with her. "This is hard enough Scully without you butting in.." Her head stilled and he removed his hand. "Since that day, I've watched you grow as a friend..." he said, clearing his throat. "There were days when I knew that you were the only one I could trust and....gradually...." he paused, searching for words. "There were days..." he looked at her, his eyes piercing hers. "When I knew that I wanted you to be more..." Her face was filled with surprise but he continued. "When I watched you deal with things that other people would cringe at, I admired you so much...." he stated, a hint of sadness in his eyes. "But I could never tell you, afraid that you wouldn't feel the same and I'd ruin what we had forever, losing you in the process...." She was following his every word. He was glad that she hadn't run off yet. "What I'm trying to say..." he took another deep breath. "Is that I'm in love with you...." Her mouth went a-gap and he smiled slightly. "I guess that I've always been..." he assured and she closed her mouth. "You know that you can jump in here anytime......" She just looked at him, tears in her crystalline eyes. She turned and placed the key in her lock. "Oh shit!" he muttered, turning. She couldn't even bear to tell him that she didn't feel the same way. He was just glad that the elevator opened as he approached it and he just entered it, without looking back. *x*x*x*x*x* Fox Mulder Apartment. February 14th 2000. *x*x*x*x*x* The apartment was immersed in darkness, the only light coming from the open window. His elbows lay on his knees, head held in his palms. He closed his eyes and thought about what a fool he was. She couldn't even answer him, she had to run off into her apartment. What had he done? He didn't even bother to lift his head as he heard the soft approach of high heels on the floor outside the door. He didn't move as he heard the insertion of the key in the lock. He didn't move when he heard her close the door behind her. He didn't move when he heard her approach him and he didn't look when he felt her sit down beside him. He only moved when she gently touched his arm. "Don't..." he said, drawing away and rising. "It's my fault.." He turned and looked at her. He could see, with the moonlight shining through the window, that there were tear-tracks on her cheeks. "I should've known that a woman with such integrity and passion could never love a man like me..." She rose and walked over to him and he could see her swallow as she reached into her pocket. "Don't tell me you're going to shoot me?" he asked, joking. *stupidstupidstupidstupidstupidstupid* his mind chanted. Why did he have to always cover up his feelings with that dumb sense of humour. She didn't smile as her eyes returned to smile at him. She didn't smile as she slid a small piece of paper into his hand. He looked at it for a moment and then stared at her. "What's this?" he asked and she nodded at it, licking her lips. He unfolded the piece of paper and began to read it. Mulder's eyebrow rose and he turned and looked at her. She simply handed him another piece of paper. "You can't speak?" he said, his voice holding surprise and confusion. She handed him another piece of paper. "Chicken?" he asked and she bit her lip to stop herself from smiling before nodding. Mulder sighed and dropped the notes to the ground. "Have you any idea what you put me through?" he asked and she smiled and shrugged, pointing to herself as it to say. "Who me?" He nodded. "Yeah Scully, you..." he said and she licked her lips again, retrieving a piece of paper from her pocket and a pen. She made a spiralling signal with her finger. "You want me to turn around?" She nodded. "Why can't you just use the coffee table to lean on?" he asked and she smiled and watched as he looked to the table covered in magazines. "Fine..." he said, turning around. He felt her pen press into his back as she began to write. In a few seconds he saw a piece of paper handed in front of him and he took it and read it. He tried to turn around but her hand wouldn't let him. His back was still to her and he sighed. "Do I really have to see 'no' written on paper?" She jabbed him with the pen and he could almost see her smile with pleasure. "Alright Scully..." he said and took a deep breath. "I've loved you since the day you walked into my office and I've never stopped, not even when you put me through torture like this..." He sighed and licked his lips. "I never knew that I loved you until I found out that I could lose you, I never want to lose you..." He couldn't see her and when he didn't see any piece of paper, he sighed. "Where's the paper?" he asked and he didn't hear anything or see any other piece of paper. He turned slowly and saw her looking at him. There were tear-drops in her eyes as she stared at him. "Scully?" he said and looked at her, she smiled slightly through the tears. "Are you alright?" She nodded and he shook his head in confusion. "I don't know what to say Scully, what's your answer?" She looked to the floor and then looked up at him. She took a step forwards and placed a hand on his arm, looking into his eyes. She planted a firm but gentle kiss on his lips and her hand reached behind his head, going through his hair. She finally pulled away after a few seconds and then watched as his eyes remained closed for a moment. She reached into her pocket and pulled out her paper again. She scribbled for a moment and then handed it to Mulder. He looked at it and smiled. He smiled and looked to her. She smiled in return and placed her hand in his, leading him to the couch. He sat down and she sat beside him, her body next to his. "Scully..." he began again but she silenced him by another kiss. In his mind, as he felt her arms encircle him, he felt all her heart and soul. She was right, some things were better demonstrated. *************** end: what'd you think? ===== You can find my website at http://geocities.com/Area51/Meteor/4816