From: "3eb_fan" <3eb_fan@email.msn.com>
Date: Wednesday, May 24, 2000 12:37 AM
Subject: NEW : Mozart's Follow Up by Lisa McKensy

Title: Mozart's Follow Up
Author:  Lisa McKensy
Category: SA
Classification: MSR
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Requiem
Archive: Don't really care, just let me know.
Feedback: 3eb_fan@email.msn.com
Summary: Requiem follow-up
Disclaimer:  Kiss my anti-establishment ass.  Oh, by the way,
I don't really have much of a cash flow so suing me wouldn't
really help considering that the state that I live in forbids attaching
to homestead.  Can't take my house, can't take my money, all I
have left are my dogs, and the Doberman can get a little bit moody.

* *

In so many ways, I despise the new changes that are taking place
within my body.  Despite the immense elation I felt when I heard
the doctor's words, there are so many drawbacks.  Already, I am
growing tired faster than ever before.  The doctors told me to
remain on basically my regular exercise schedule, but I don't really
even have time for that now.

I spent two weeks in Bellefleur, Oregon, searching.  Skinner was
with me then, and we attempted another laser experiment.  I knew
what I was looking for.  It wasn't to be found.

It's been one month now, since Mulder was taken.  One month of
morning sickness and dizzy spells and a loss of appetite.  I've been
told that my appetite should come back any day now.  Still, bee
pollen doesn't seem all that appetizing any more.

It frustrates me to no end that I can't work the same way that I
used to.  I'm tired quicker than ever before, even with my cancer.
I have to remember that my energy is for two, now.

The X-files, not surprisingly to me, have remained open.  Why
shouldn't they when the Assistant Director himself provided
testament of alien life.  Somehow, one man was able to make all
of our work justified in the minds of the Bureau.  Jesus, if Mulder and
I had known about this, we would have taken Skinner along with us
on some of our cases a long time ago.  Mulder deserved to see this.

There I go again, talking about the man in past tense, as if he
were already dead.  Mulder spent twenty years looking for
Samantha, and there are times when I don't feel like I could
spend twenty more days looking for him.  The mind is willing but
the body is. well, you know how it goes.

The child is Mulder's.  I know that without a doubt.  He is the
only man that I have been with in oh so long.  We had been
careless.  After all, I was barren, right?  No need for protection
there.  Even if I had known, I wouldn't have wanted to use condoms
or birth control.  Sometimes, that which we take most for granted is
whisked out of our hands quicker than anything else.  For me, that
thing was motherhood.  Now, I have the chance for it once more,
and I will do this right.

With or without Mulder, I will take care of this child.  I have already
promised myself that.  But I won't stop the search for my partner ever.
Mulder never gave up on me when I was missing.  I could have been
missing for fifty years and I don't think Mulder would give up.

As of yet, only Skinner and the Gunmen know about the baby.  I would
rather keep this from my mother until I'm sure this child is a healthy,
normal human.  For that same reason, I can't really bring myself to be
completely attached yet.  I learned long ago that one way to avoid
heartache was to brace for the worst possible outcome.

I returned to Oregon yesterday.  I can feel Mulder out there, close.  He's
not far away, mind or spirit, and somehow, I know his body is close, too. 
Maybe they will return him soon.  I was gone for three months, and I can
only hope that Mulder has the same fortune that I had. 

God Mulder, I wish you were back.  I would give just about anything to
have you around to see your son or daughter brought into this world.  Our
child, Mulder, think about it.  The X-files was worth it if only that is
brought us to this conclusion; but you need to be here to make me feel
that it was worth it. 

I will search for you, Mulder, but I can't do it for much longer.  I only
have a few months before mandatory maternity leave, and I would really
like to spend those days teasing you when you still have to work.  Please
Mulder, I need you. 

END.