From: The Hill House Newsgroups: alt.tv.x-files.creative Subject: NEW: Mulder and Scully Cross The Street (1/1) Date: Wed, 28 Feb 1996 21:54:24 -0700 DISCLAIMER: As much as I would like to say that I created the characters of Mulder, Scully, Skinner and Phoebe, I did not. They were created by the intrepid CC, and they belong to him, 1013, and Fox. I can, however, plead insanity and say that I placed thoughts in CC's head, inspiring him to create these characters, but I don't think he would appreciate that. I also have to thank "Mcgyver" and I do not remember all of that legal stuff, so don't sue me anyway. That goes the same for "The Three Little Pigs." I have a heart, but no cash. Talk about unfair deal. ACCEPTANCE SPEECH: I would like to take this opportunity to thank those who have written praises to our first tale, "Mulder and Scully Go To The Circus." Because of our fans unrelenting support and continual requests to continue as a series, we have created another tale of horror. BLAH-BLAH: This is next in our series that started with the comic relief story "Mulder and Scully Go To The Circus." You do not need to read it to understand it, but I recommend that you do so anyway. ONE LAST THING: We need friends. We have made some all ready, but we are greedy and want more. Shannon is unable to help us out on this one, but you can write to Janna and Justin at . We want your input. Here we go. Fasten your seatbelts and extinguish all smoking materials.... MULDER AND SCULLY CROSS THE STREET By Janna and Justin Hill See Mulder. See Scully. See Mulder and Scully. See street. Big street. Mean street. See the big, mean street. Hear Mulder say, "See Scully. Look at the big mean street." Hear Scully say, "Yes, Mulder. A big mean street." Hear Mulder say, "What should we do? How will we get to work if we don't cross the big mean street?" See Scully. See light bulb. See Scully see light bulb. "I have a bright idea." Hear Mulder ask, "What is your bright idea? How will we cross the big, mean street? Hear Scully say, "Elementary, my dear Mulder. It is well known that if you can't go over, go under." See Scully get shovel. See Mulder get shovel. See Scully and Mulder get shovels. They have a plan. See Scully hack. See Mulder hew. This is hard work. See them take a break. See break end (No more Kit-Kat). See them try again. "We must dig under the road, Scully," Mulder complaines. "Or how will we ever get to work?" "I don't know, Mulder, but this cement is hard." See Mulder. See light bulb. See Mulder see light bulb. "I have a bright idea." See Mulder get jackhammer. See Scully get hard hats (And first aid kit). Hear Mulder say, "No problem, Scully. Piece of cake." See Mulder use jackhammer. It is loud. See Mulder shake. See Mulder jiggle. This is hard. See rocks fly. See pedestrian die. See Mulder stop the jackhammer. He got blisters. See Scully panic. "Are you okay?" Hear Mulder respond, "Piece of cake. No problem." See Skinner. See Skinner see Mulder (ick). See Skinner see Scully. See Skinner see Mulder and Scully. "Hi, Mulder and Scully?" He says. "Good morning, sir," Scully says. "Uugh." Mulder says. Hear Mulder ask, "Do you know how we can cross the big mean street?" See Skinner. See light bulb. See Skinner see light bulb. "I have a bright idea." Hear Skinner say, "I have a plan. It's top secret. I learned in in Nam." See Skinner. See old hag. See Skinner see old hag. "Hello, old hag. May I help you across this big, mean street?" See old hag. See old hag's purse. See Skinner. See old hag throw old hag's purse at Skinner. WHAP!!! Hear old hag say, "Don't be fresh!" See old hag take Skinner's arm. Away they go. See Skinner and old hag attempt to cross the street. See them take a step. Wow, the wonders on being on the road. See Skinner and old hag smile. "This is fun," they say. See them take another step. Wow, how envigorating. See semi. Semi does not see old hag. Old hag does not see semi (which is one of the reasons that we classify her as old. We chose hag because it was true.) See semi collide with old hag. See old hag go up. See old hag go down. Oops. See old hag bounce. Oh well. See Skinner shrug. "It worked in Nam." See Phoebe. See Phoebe see Mulder. See Phoebe run to Mulder, Run, Phoebe, Run! See Phoebe kiss Mulder. See Mulder heave. See Scully cheer. Hear Mulder say, "Do you know how we can cross this big, mean street?" See Phoebe. See light bulb See Phoebe see light bulb. "I have a bright idea." See Phoebe collect sticks. See Phoebe collect bark. What is she up to? Can she cross the big, mean street? Hear Phoebe say, "I saw this on Mcgyver." See Phoebe build hand glider. See big building. See Phoebe see big building. See Mulder see big building. See Scully see big building. See Skinner see big building. They all see the big building. See them climb. See them reach the top of the big building. See Phoebe jump on hand glider, See Phoebe jump off big building. "See you on the other side of the big, mean street." She says. See Wind. (Wait... you can't see wind. Oh well, just pretend.) See Wind. See Phoebe. See Wind see Phoebe. See Wind. See light bulb. See wind see light bulb "I have a bright idea!" (Also pretend Wind can talk.) See Wind huff. See Wind puff. See Wind blow their house down. (Whoops wrong story.) See Wind blow Phoebe down. "You'll never cross the big, mean street." See Mulder cry. See Scully cry. See Skinner cry. See Phoebe cry. They are sad. They can not cross the big, mean street. See Mulder grit his teeth. "I had enough!" he says. See arms fling. Hear bells ring. MULDER WILL CROSS THE BIG, MEAN STREET! (Dramatic moment. What will happen next? Will Mulder make it, or will be forever forced to walk around the same block over, and over, and over again. Stay tuned) See Mulder run. See cop. See cop see Mulder run. "Stop, Stop! You need to use the crosswalk!" He yells. See Mulder stop. See Mulder's jaw drop. See Scully's jaw drop. See Skinner's jaw drop. See Phoebe's jaw drop. "Crosswalk????" They ask in unison. See cop smile. "Yes, the crosswalk is designed for citizens like you to aid in you quest across the big, mean street." See Mulder push the button. See little white man blink. "Let's go." See Mulder cross the big, mean street. See Scully cross the big, mean street. See Skinner cross the big, mean street. See Phoebe cross the big, mean street. See them all cross the big, mean street. Hear them cheer. Hear them laugh. What fun they had crossing the street. The End. -- _____________________________________________________________ Dave Hill Water Resource Policy and Planning/EIDNet Eastern Irrigation District 550 Industrial Road Brooks, Alberta T1R 0B9 Voice 403/362-1400, Fax 403/362-6206, Home 403/362-4748